《我爸妈是下岗工》 小说介绍
wanzhengbanxiaoshuo《wobamashixiaganggong》youyaoyaoaixiewensuobianxiedeyanqingleixiaoshuo,zheibenxiaoshuodezhujiaoshimunanjiangzhe,wenzhongdeaiqinggushiqimeierchunjie,wenbijijia,shilituijian。xiaoshuojingcaiduanluoshidu:womantiaosilidezhichuledizhonghaihechenjiaojiaowumiewo,bingcituiwodeshiqing。guobuqiran,zaitingdaowoshuodehuazhihou,wobabaotiaoru……...
《我爸妈是下岗工》 第 一 章 免费试读
第一章
zhidaowobamashixiaganggongrenhou。
nanyouguangsushuaiwo,bingqiebiaobailewodezhuguan。
nanyoushuo:「nibamameigongzuo,womenbuheshi。」
woxianrulechensi:「wobamasuiranmeigongzuo,kewojiayoujishitaofangzudeshouzu,bamayebuxiana。」
1
zaiwo23suizheinian,wobamaxiagangle。
dezhizheigexiaoxideshihou,wohaizaishangban。
dangwomatuntuntutudegaosuwozheijianshi,wohaobuyouyudeqinglejia,kaizhewoneiliangxiaomini,kazhezuigaodexiansu,yilukuangbenhuilejia。
yijinjiamen,wodediyijuhuajiushi。
「ma,ba,zhenxiagangle?」
wobamayiliandeningzhong,chaowodianlediantou。
wodunshishuangyanfangguang,zhengxiangshuodianshenmedeshihou,niezaishoushangdeshoujihurankaishizhendongqilai。
是我男朋友的电话。
wochiyileyixia,jieleqilai:「wei?」
「nannan,wotingnizhuguanshuole......」
主管?
e,dui,woqingjiadeshihouzhuguanwen**shaqu,wosuikoujiushuolewobamaxiagang,woyaohuiquanweitamen。
wodianlediantou,jinjiezheyouyoudianyihuo。
「nigenwobushitongyigebumende,shangnaliqutingwozhuguanshuo?」
nvrendezhijuerangwoganjuedaoleyisibumiao。
xiangdaowozhuguanneienaduozideshenduanyuliaorendeliandan,woyouleyizhongbutaihaodeyugan。
我不会被绿了吧?
「nannan!wogennizhuguanzhishizhengchangdejiaoliu!」
nanyoubuzhidaoshibushibeiwochuopolexinsi,yuqilidoudaizhexiexudenaoxiuchengnu。
我「哦」了一声。
心里拔凉拔凉的。
好的,石锤了。
qishiwozheigenanpengyouba,meiyoutanduojiu,danshirenzhangdetinghaokande,wohaimanxihuande。
benlaiyiweitagenbierenbuyiyangde,jieguo......
我微微叹了口气。
dianhuaneitou,nanpengyousihuyechajuedaoletayuqidebuduijing,huanheleyuqi。
「nannan,nibamaxiagangle,zheijianshishizhendema?」
我微微皱了下眉头。
「jiangzhe,wobamaxiameixiagangzheijianshigenniyoushenmeguanxima?」
wobulijietaganmazheimeguanzhuzheijianshi。
jiangzhezhuangmozuoyangdetanlekouqi。
「nannan,wojialidetiaojianniyeshizhidaode......suiranwobamameiyouxiagang,danshitamenyezhinengmianqiangbangwocougeshoufu,ruguowomenjiehundehua,nifumuneibianshigehendadewenti......」
我:「?」
bushi,zheihuatizenmejiuchedaojiehunshangmianqule?
yaoshuozhiqianchuyurelianqidewohaihennenggouxingzhibobodehetatanlunzheigewenti,xianzaiwoshibandianxingqudoumeiyoule。
woneizhuguanshishenmerena,gaoduanhaiwang。
jiangzheyigegangchuxiaoyuandexiaoqingnian,hetadashanglebianhainengyouqingbaikeyan?
啧啧啧......
jiangzhechenmoleyixia,taiduyeyingqiqilaile。
「jirannannannidouzheimeshuole......neiwomenfenshouba,womenbuheshi。」
我气笑了。
「xinga,neiwojiuzhunimenbainianhaohe。」
shuowan,wozhijiejiuguaduanledianhua。
嫌弃我父母下岗?
呵呵哒......
caitanlianaidoubudaoyiniandeshijian,sheimeishibazijiadedixijijiaodaichuqu?
那不是有毛病吗?
wojiangshoujichuaihuikoudai,mocaleyixiashouzhang,shuangyanfangguang。
「bama,jirannimenxiagangle,neiwoshibushiyekeyikaolvkaolvcizhigenzhenimenyiqishouzudeshiqingle?」
几十本房本呢。
搓手!
我可太期待了!
2
dangran,shishizhengming,woxiangduole。
wobamakeshijuejueduiduidejianchigongzuodang。
buranzheimeduonianle,jializheimeduofangzi,tamenhaiyizhi,rifuyiridejianchiqushangbanni。
「zuorenni,haishiyuedidiaoyuehao,bijingdidiaobaopinganma。」
laobayiliandechenwen,dandingdetanletanshou。
「nikan,jiuyinweiwocongxiaodoumeiyougaosuguoni,womenjialihenyouqian,shibushinijiupingpinganandezhangdale?」
「kankanbierenjia,zhiyaoshixianluleyidiandianjialiyouqiandeyingzi,jiulimabeibangjia。」
wo:「......」
neizheimeshuo,woqibushideganxieyixiazheimeduoniandidiaozuoren,shizeyoujishitaofangdebama?
meirenzhufanlegedadadebaiyan。
laomafankanleyixiashoujilideyue,shifennanshoudetanlekouqi。
「nannana,nibiekanzhewomenyouzheimeduodefangzi,danshizhendeyaoqushouzu,qishihaishitingxinkude。」
我:「?????」
shuwoxiangxiangbuchulai,daodiyounalixinkude。
xianzaiyidongzhifuduanzheimefada,youbuxuyaoqinzichumenshangmenaigeshouzu,zheinalixinkule?
wozhengyihuozhe,womazaicitanlekouqi,yuqibeishang,shizefanersai。
「meigeyuedishoujizhuanzhang,yigeyigededianguoqu,zhendehenxinkudema!」
wo:「......」
呵呵哒。
zheifenxinkuwoyuanyichengshou。
kanlaibucaiquyixieshouduan,wozheibeican,qiebeilvdedagongshenghuohaishidejixu。
woshenshendexileyikouqi,zuochuyifushifenbeishangnanguodemoyang。
「bama,woyezhidaoshouzuhenxinku,danshiwozhendezaiyebuxiangqushangbanle。」
laobalaomaduishileyiyan,yanditongshifuxianchudanyou。
「zenmele,guinv,yourenqifunile?」laomaguanxindekanzhewo。
woqingqingdechoulechoubizi,manliandekudachoushen:「xiangmubeina,wojiumianqiangzhiyougebaodishouru,haibinlinbeicituidebianyuan,wojuedewozhendejianchibuxiaqule。」
laobamomodichoulezhiyan,tilegejianyi。
「jirannijuedegongsizheimebuhaodehua,neimaixialai?」
我:「?????」
dengdeng,shiwolijiedeneigemaima?
「maixialaishangban?ranhouwodanglaobandeneizhong?」
laobafanlegebaiyan:「nidanglaobannengjingyingdehaogongsi?」
wo:「......e。」
neijiushimaixiagongsiwojixuqushangbange?
「gongsimaixialai,nijiukeyifangxindeshangbanle,meiyoushiqingzuoyewusuowei,fanzhengnijiubixuyaozhaogegongsidaizhe,jinijiaoshebaogenwuxianyijin。」
「fanzhengzheigeqianwoshibukenengdandujinijiaode。」
laobachongwobailebaishou:「banyidingdeshang,qitadedouhaoshangliang。」
哦?
我悟了。
那不就......
woxiaodexiangdangweisuodecuolecuoshou。
heihei,jiranzheiyang,neiyouxikejiuhaowanduole。
3
diertian,benlaishidasuancizhidewojixuqushangbanle
haojiahuo,wohaizhenshiruzhizheilianggeyueyilai,touyicikandaozheigerenaode......
嗯,表白现场。
woxunsizhiyaoshigenaozizhengchangde,doubuhuizaigongsi,shangbanshijianqubiaobaiba?
ranerdangwozuozaigongweishang,kanzhewoneiweiqiannanyouyishenzhengzhuang,huaibaozheyidapengxianyandemeiguihua,yingzhehuanhuanzouchudezhuguan,danxiguixia。
「jeica,woxihuanni,zuowodenvpengyou,haoma?」
yaobushizhengjianbangongshidefenweituruqilaidechenmo,jinjiezhebianshixujiadeguzhangyucuanduodeshengyin,woshenzhidouyiweiwochuanyuehuidaoledaxuedeshihou。
这该死的社死感。
wowulewulian,wangyuanlirenqundedifangnuolenuo。
好丢人。
danshisihunannvzhujiaobingmeiyoujuedeyourenhedediulian,xiangfan,woneiweimeinvzhuguanshifenzaozuodeyongshouwuzhulezui,haiqiadaohaochudezhanshilexinzuodezhijia。
womeirenzhu,fanlegebaiyan。
瞧这一对痴男怨女。
hai,wodeyanshenkezhenshitaibuhaole。
wozheibianhaizaimeixingzhideshuashouji,neibianturanchuanlaiwomendemeinvzhuguandaizhegandongdekuqiangdeshengyin。
「jiangzhe,wohenxiangdayingni,keshi......nishiyounvpengyouderen,womenbunengzheiyang。」
shunjian,wonengganjuedaozhongrendeshixianquanbuanchuochuodedoujijizhongzailewodeshenshang。
wo:「......」
没完了是吧?
「jiaojiao,wogenmunanyijingfenshoule,xianzaishiwozaizhuiqiuni,nizhixuyaozaiwodeshenhou,qianmiansuoyoudefenglang,suoyoudekanke,wodouhuitinitaping。」
「woaini,jiaojiao,dayingwoba。」
suizhejiangzhezhidiyoushengdefashiyushenqingdegaobai,chenjiaojiaozhongyufachuleyishenggandongdaojizhidechouqi,ranhoujieguolejiangzheshoushangdexianhua,xingfuqiexiusedebeijiangzhelanjinlehuaili。
呵......
yaobushizaibeilanjinhuailideyishunjian,woqingchudekanjianchenjiaojiaochaowotoulaide,jiaoaoqiebuxiedeyanshen,wohaizhendehuijiliangrenfaqichengzhidezhufu。
现在嘛......
heheda,wokezhenshihuixie。
ganqingzaizheilijiwoshangyanzhaodaozhenaidebadiandangni?
wowuyudefanlegebaiyan,chuolechuodangzaiwomianqianderen,ranhoushunlideliandaizheyizi,huidaolewodegongweiqian。
benlaiba,zheijianshiqingdaocijieshujiutinghaode,woyemeiyoudasuanquzhuijiutamendaodishizaishenmeshihoujiukaishianduchencangle。
danshia,renma,zongxihuanzuodiansi。
zheibu,neibianganggangjieshoulebiaobai,xiunandemanliantonghongdechenjiaojiaochaowozouleguolai,jiaoruomeilidelianshangmingxiandaizheyuyanyouzhideshenqing。
「nannanni......buhuiguaiwoba?」
我:「?????」
4
ei,bushi,dajie,zanzheichuxihaizhenjiumeiwanmeilelebei?
jiudangwoyiyizhongjidubukesiyi,bingqiexiangshikan**deyanshenkanzhechenjiaojiaodeshihou,chenjiaojiaoyirankaiqiletadebiaoyan。
「nannan,ruguonihejiangzhehaihaohaodezaiyiqi,woshiduanranbuhuitongyijiangzhedezhuiqiude......keshi......」
「nannan,nibuhuiyuanwode,duibudui?」
chenjiaojiaodeyanzhongshishidedaishanglejixudejingying,yanranyifubeirenqifuguohouchuchukeliandemoyang。
jiangzhedunshikanbuguoyan,yibalouguochenjiaojiao,bumandekanzhewo。
「munan,womenzaiyiqideshijiantonggongmeiyouduojiu,woxiwangnibuyaodaraowohejiaojiao。」
wo:「......」
wotemede......
wohaibangezidoumeishuoni!
haohuahuaihuakequanbudoubeinimenjishuowanle!
无语。
zhibuguo,suiranxinlibeitamenlianggedeyichangyihewuyudao,danshigangcaichenjiaojiaokaojindeshihou,wowendaodeweidao,daoshirangwodecaicekendinglejifen。
wokanzhechenjiaojiao,jingjingdekaikou。
「midior,diaoxiaojietianxinxiangshui,zhuguanpinweibucuo,hejiangzhechelidechezaixiangshuiweidaotingxiangside。」
yuanbenjiaoruodeyikaozaijiangzhehuailidechenjiaojiao,liansezhouranyibian。
daoshijiangzhequanranmeiyouchajue,shifenbumandeduiwodashengrangrang。
「munan,nizaishuoshenmeguihua!wodechezaixiangshuizenmekenengshizheizhongniangniangqiangdeweidao!」
kanshangqushiwanquanmeiyouzhuyidaochenjiaojiaobiandenankanqilaidelianse。
woweiweigouchunyixiao,shixianbujingyidesaoguochenjiaojiaobiezhuzhangfadezisefajia,weiweimilemiyanjing。
「huashuohuilai,jiangzhe,qianxieriziwozainicheshangzhaodaodeneigezisefajia,nizhaodaoshizhulemeiyou?」
「jiushangcigennichaojiadeneigefajia。」
wozhijieyueguochenjiaojiao,zhijiewenjiangzhe。
woduding,xiangjiangzhezheizhongdananzizhuyideren,zaiwohetafashengzhengchaozhihou,jiangzheyidingbuhuiguandaodishisheifangzaicheshangde,zhihuizhijiediudiao。
jiangzheweiweiyileng,suihouhuyidemiqileyanjing:「nizaishuoshenmea,neigefajiawodouyijingdiule。」
「是吗?」
woqingrouyixiao,shixianzhongxinluohuizaichenjiaojiaodeshenshang。
「buguowokankuanshi,hezhuguantoushangzheigehaitingxiangde。」
huayichu,bangongshilidunshiyilunfenfen。
jiusuanshijiangzhezheigesinaojinyefanyingguolaile,yinyinyouxiechayidekanzhehuailidechenjiaojiaoyiyan。
我勾唇一笑。
buguanzheijianshinengjizheiliangrendailaishenmeyangdeyingxiang,doubuguanwodeshi。
benlaiwoqueshishimeidasuanjiuchande,sheirangchenjiaojiaozheimebubawofangzaiyanli,zhijiewangwoqiangkoushangzhuangni?
benrenbucai,daxuexuanxiujinxiudeshixinlixue,huoxushibijiaoyoutianfu,naniechenjiaojiaohejiangzhedexinlishishoudaoqinlaideshiqing。
chenjiaojiaodelianseyouxienankan,guolebanshangcaiyingbangbangdekaikou。
「woconglaidoubuzuofujiazuo,yebuzhidaonishuodeshishenme。」
很好。
wozhuangsiyouxiechayidekanzhechenjiaojiao:「keshiwodouhaimeiyoushuoshifujiazuo,nishizenmezhidaode?」
「suoyi......guorannihaishizuoguode?」
wangyoudanshuihegudianping:《wobamashixiaganggong》zheibenshuxingwenliuchang,youmofengqu,renwushedingxianmingdute,qianglietuijian!
wangyouzuimengjishidianping:wenbihao,juqingyouqu、xinying,bushengmu,zhujiaofanpaiyounao,bushiwunaoshuangwen。wokanguoxiaoshuoli,xiedezheimehaodefeichangshaojian,qianglietuijian!
我爸妈是下岗工