《春节手撕恶婆婆一家》 小说介绍
qihuanxiaoshuo《chunjieshousiepopoyijia》youzhongyiyujingxinbianxie。zhujiaolirouzhangchaozaiyigeshenmideshijiezhongzhankaileyiduanqimiaodemaoxianzhilv。gushiqingjiekourenxinxian,lingrenjingtanbuyi。zheibenshuchongmanlemolihexiangxiangli,bidingnenggouyinqiduzhedegongming。huwaibenlaijiushixiaotuanti,yibanbuhuidasichuanbo。danwoshizaiwufazuoshibuli。dameijianchikaichesongwohezhangchao,danshibudaipopoyijia。jiuliansanshuhexiaoshudou……
《春节手撕恶婆婆一家》 第一章 免费试读
第一章
gangdaomenkoujiutingjianpoposhuo:“qinzijiandingguowannianjiuchujieguo。”
xiaoguzichazui:“haizikendingbushiwogede。”
popoyoushuo:“xinzheimehuai,guaibudetacanji。”
yuanlaipopoqianrifeiyaodaiwoquyiyuan,shiweiletoutouzuoqinzijianding。
wotuikaimen:“zhudajiaxinniankuaile。”
01
jintianshichuxiye,waimianbianpaozhenzhen,yanhuafeiwu,yipianbaixueaiai。
laogongzhangchaoshiyiyuanbaoan,guonianyeyaozhiban。
wohuaiyunjiashangxiantianbojiao,chuxingbubian,benxiangzaijiaxiuxi。
zhangchaoxiaoshudenvxuhenyouqian,jilaozhangrenyijiamaileyitaofushilou。
jiuzailiqunxinquxinkaipandexiaoqu,benshifurenjujidequyu。
gongpojianchiyaowoyiqiquguonian,popobuwangtixingwo:
“lirou,laideshihoumaishuangfenli,bierangrenqiaobuqi。”
tamensangerenmingmingzaiwozhiqianjiuyijingdaole。
kanzheigeyisi,liangkouzihexiaoguzi,jiudaizhesanzhangdalianqubainianle?
woshuazhangchaogongzikafukuanshibai,wowenta,jingranshuotamarangtaguashile。
wohuaiyunhoutuijiaogengjiabubian,cilewenyuandegongzuo。
popojuedewoyifenbuzheng,zhihuikaozhenanrenyang。
taxiangbaerzigongzikayaohuiqu,wobutongyi,zheijingranbeizhewoguashi。
yaobushidaniansanshi,wozhenxiangwenwen,nimarangniqusi,niqubuqu?
sangeshushuduidaizhangchaohewo,haibucuo,woyongzijideqianmaileliwu。
xiaoshujiafangmenweichang,wocongdiantichulai,popohexiaoguzideduihua,wotingdeyiqingerchu。
“zhangchaoguonianfalegouwuka,songjiwoyoucuoma?”
“lirouzhei**chenwobuzaizhaozhangchaotabayaohuiqu。”
“tahaizaiwaimiantouren,huailebierendejianzhong。”
popokouzhongdeliroujiushiwo。
gongpotuixiujinqibaqian,zhangchaogongzisanqianlaikuai。
wohuaiyunyaoyongqian,bagouwukayaohuilai,youwentima?
zhiyutouren,shigenbenmeiyoudeshi。
公公息事宁人说道:
“suanle,haizihuaiyunyongqian,taliangshouruyoubugao。”
小姑子不满地插嘴:
“ba,nibizuiba,nihewogeyiyangsha。haoburongyishuofuwogezuoqinzijianding,zheiqianhaiderangliroubaoxiao!bawomajiqide,zheijitianxiaobiandouyouxue。”
wolinzheliwutuimenjinru:
“geweizhangbei,xiongdijiemeimenxinniankuaile。”
zhangchaodelianggetangmeijiwozhaoleyigeshushidezuowei,zhuanshenquxishuiguo。
xiaoguzizhangxiaoyashihuwaitanxianzhubo,tazhengzaizhibojianhetadesizhongfenreliao,qieqiesiyudao:
“baozimen,qishicanjirenyetingyoufude,nikanwosaozikaifancailai,yebuyongganhuo,womenyijiadoubujieyitashinongcunren,suiranwogesha,danshiwomaduierxifuneimehao。”
taconglaimeizunzhongguowo,dangmianququwoyehenchangjian。
wokanzhemanwuqinqi,buxiangxiangwopoponeiyangmajie,jiumeilita。
taliangyizhijuedewojiajizhangchaogaopanle。
qishi,zhangchaoxiaoshihoufashaodaozhiyouqingweizhiliquexian。
suiranxianzaihuifuzhengchangle,dantajiarendoukoukoushengshengshuotasha,genghekuangwairen。
wojiarenhaijuedetapeibushangwoni,dangnianjilifanduiwoliangjiehun。
sannianqian,woqutagongzuodeyiyuankanbing。
wobeixionghaizizhuangdaoliuxue,tabeizhewopaolejicenglou,womenyincixiangshi。
wojiajitabushibiedeyuanyin,ershitazhendeduiwohao。
houlaiwocaizhidao,tabuzhiduiwohao,taduisheidouhao。
xiaoguzijixuzhibo,duizheshoujimeifeisewu:
“baozimen,woxiaoshuzhenyoufua,kanrenjianvxujimaidexinlou。”
“wojiefuduierjiezhenhao,yemeixianqitashigejiatingzhufu,yifenqiandoubuzhenghaijitabamamaifang。”
02
tacongbugaosuwairenzhiboid。
zhangchaoshuijueshiwoyongtazhiwenjiesuo,caizhaodaotazhanghao。
woyongxiaohaotoutoujinrutazhibojian,danmudouzaishua:
“nisaoziyanshenzhenbuyouhao,suanle,wobuxiangshuocanjirenhuaihua。”
“ai,wosaozizaijiayeshifanlaizhangkou,yajienirenrenba。”
“yajie,nierjiezhangdeyoushouyoubai!xiangkanerjie。”
“nidajieshidingfengchuanmeigongsidelaobanba?zheimenianqing!”
xiaoguziduizheshoujixiaoshengdigu:
“kanshenmekan,nimendeyanguang,zhencha!”
“woerjieneidoushicadefendi,tachanhoukuaisujianfei,xianzaihenbujiankang,haiburuqini,yidiandoubuweihaizikaolv。”
“wodajienengkaigongsiquankaowodajiefu,tayouqianlejiubalaogongshuaile。”
woxiaosi,tingzhangchaoshuodameiqianfushijidianchangde,talihunhoucaichoujiandegongsi。
xiaomeishitianshenglengbaipi,genbenmeicafendi。
xiaoguzibuzhidao,woguimishitashouquandafen,woyoutasuoyouzhibodeluping。
lianggemeimeiduanzheshuiguozouguolai,wennianqiansongwodeyanwochilemei?
“yanwoduihaizihao,nihewogedoubai,shengdehaizikendingbaibaipangpang。”
nianqianwohuiniangjiale,genbenbuzhidaozheishi,zhangchaokendingnajiwopopole。
小姑子捂着话筒说:
“yigenongcunrenchiyanwo?neibushizaotahaodongxima。”
lianggemeimeipieletayiyan,duiwoshuo:
“daguonianbuxiangmata,suanle,guoliangtianzaijinisong。”
zhangxiaoyajuzheshouji,qianqiandecoujinwomensange:
“dajie,buguanneiduzilidezhong......aiya,zongzhiniliguohunbunengmolirouyundu,duiwojiayunshibuhao。”
“dajie,nimameijiaoguonima?”
dameishigebaopiqi,wojiantaxiangyaodongshou,jitaladaoyibian。
ermeiqibuguojixugenxiaoguzidazuizhang。
yiqian,sangeshushubijiaokunnan,gonggongdoubangzhuguotamen。
houlai,dameikailejianchuanmeigongsi。
suiranguimobuda,yeshifengshengshuiqi。
tajiangshengyichangshangdehuobanqinqingjieshaojiermei。
meifujingyingzheshangshigongsi,duiermeihentitie。
hunhouermeishengwahouhaijixiaoshujiadandumailexinfang。
lianggeshushujiashenghuoshuipingkuaisutigao。
zheizhongjudadeluochagan,rangpopoxiaoguzisuandeyaosi。
ershenturanzaiketinghandao:
“dasao,zheimeiliaoliangjunizenmelaopaocesuo?”
wopopojinjiyuelaoshiniaojipaocesuo,hainiaoxue,rangtaquyiyuanjiushuoxintengqian。
zhangchaoxiaoshihoudezhiliquexianjiushiyinweitaxintengqian,bukendaiquyiyuan。
zhenshiyumeiwuzhi,kanbingqiandousheng,rongyimeiming。
ershenduanzheyipanguaziguolaizhaowomencourenao,huatizhizhiwo。
“xiaoroua,congnongcunjiadaoshiliyaodongdeganen,jinyijiachuyijiakeburongyi,niqianwanbiefanyuanzexingcuowu。”
wogangyaobianbo,dameibiebuzhule:
“erniang,guazikeyiluanchi,huabuyaoluanshuo。”
二妹附和说道:
“jiushi,suiranzandoushishilihukou,danshiwobashuo,chuangguandongzhiqianzanzuzubeibeidoushinongcunde。”
小姑子插话:
“ershennibieshuole,wosaoziaibeidigaozhuang,huitouwogezaijihenni,niyoubushibuzhidaowogesha,wosaozishuoshashisha。”
ershutingbuxiaqule,jiaotaquchufangbangmang,biemeishizhaoshi。
我反问小姑子:
“lunbeidilijiangjiuren,sheibideshangnimenmunv?”
xiaoguzilenghengyisheng,tuichuzhibojian,yinyangguaiqidishuo:
“nizuodechulaihaiburangrenshuole?”
qishi,wohexiaoguzideliangzizaojiujiexiale。
03
tajidudameidegongsiyexiangkaiyige,rangwozuofaren。
bushidianjizhewo,ershicanjirenyouchuangyeyouhuizhengce。
tagenzhangchaoshuowocongnongcunlaideshenmedoubudong。
wosuiranxuelibugao,zuofarenyaochengdandefengxianwohaishidongde。
wodangranbutongyi,jujuedehengancui。
tanazhangchaoyaochidaowojiatouzheng,wobaojingbatazhuale。
ruguojitatoudao,houmianhaibuzhidaoyaozenmepianwoqianhetong。
popoweixiewochesu,zhangchaodaodebangjiawo。
woruanyingbuchi,popowunaitongyizaizhangchaofangbenjiawoming,wocaichesu。
houlai,popofengrenjiushuo,womennongcunrenjiadaoshilijiushitufangzi。
qishiwolaojiayouchaiqiankuan,bamaliuleyibiyanglao,wogefenle270wan,woyeyou150wan。
tamenfangwo,wojiayefangtamen,zheibihunqiancaichantamengenbenbuzhidao。
popojiwomendehunfangjiushigexiaodanjian,xiaoqulaodexianggudongyiyang。
tamingxiahaiyouliangtaodanjianchuzu,tasankouzhudecaisishiduomi。
woshizhendebuxihantajiazheijitaofangzi。
wojianchiyaojiamingjiushiweilejitamentiandu。
wobufangbianganhuo,zhuxiaofangzigengfangbian,wodoumeitiaozheige。
yuanbendasuanshenghaizihou,wozijimaiyitao。
jihaizizhudangranyaohaoyidiandejuzhuhuanjing。
wohuiyongfumuzengsongdemingyi,buhuinawobamadeqiandaotie。
keshiqinzijiandingzheizhongwuru,bushimeigenvrendounengchengshoude。
woyijingyoudatailihundeniantoule。
congjiehundaohuaiyun,tajiabaoluletaiduoliegenxing。
yizhenfanxiangpubixilai,xiangpenpendenianyefanshangzhuo。
wotiaoleyigelimenkouzuijindeweizhizuoxia。
ermeiluxiuzikaixuan,xiaoguzikanjiantadehuangjinshouzhuo,shuangyanfangguang:
“yo,xianzaihuangjinzheimegui,haishimoumoufuzhongaixiliede?nihuaqianzheimesuanji,kendingshinilaogongsongdeba?”
ermeisuikouhuidao:“shiwojie......”
xiaoshuganjindaduannver,zhuanyihuatishuodao:
“ng,shitajiejieshaodelaogongsongde,laidajiaganbei,xinniankuaile。”
zheiaokoudejieshi,dajiadouxinzhaobuxuan。
dameipianxin,nengguairenjiama?
tayaoshisongwoxiaoguzihuangjin,wocaihuijuedetayoubing。
xiaoguzihaizaimaiyuan:“ma,nianqianworangnijiwomaigejinxianglian,nifeideshuoxianzaihuangjinjiagetaigui。”
popoyiyousuozhi:“ng,dangnianzanjiajiechuqudeqianyaolixi,dougoumaihaoduohuangjinle。”
shushumensongneimeduolibushuo,jiujizherenjiadangnianjiedeneijiqiankuaiqian。
meiniandouyaoti,zhendehennanping。
woliuyitingzhemenkoudedongjing,jiangzangzaibozilidejinxiangliannachulaigenermeishuo:
“nitanggeqianliangtianyejiwomaileyigehuangjinde,wohenxihuan。”
婆婆龇牙咧嘴骂我:
“siquezi,fenbibuzheng,juranrangwoerzijinimaizheimeguidedongxi。”
xiaoguziyebuganle,paizhuozizhizewo:
“bandoubushanghaizheimexurong,yejiuwogezheizhongruozhicaiguanzheni,yaoshibiedenanrenbudasini。”
wotingjianjiaobushengtingzaimenkou,yangzhuangzhennu:
“xiaoya,nishuonigeshenme?”
xiaoguzilizhiqizhuanghoudao:
“woshuo,zhiyouwogezheizhongruozhicaihuiqunizheizhongnongcunren。”
“womashuowogeneifangmiangenbenbuxing,haizikendingshinitourenshengde,nihaihuawogedeqianyaobuyaolian?”
woxiaozhejieshi:“nigedoushuole,haizishitade。”
xiaoguzishengyindourantigao:“tashiruozhitadonggepi?”
dongbeidefangzigongnuantaire,xiaoshujiamenyizhibanchangzhe。
zhangchaotuimenjinlai,“xiaoya,nishuowoshenme?”
04
jigeshushujiangzhangchaoyingshangfanzhuo,dajiafenfenzhuanyihuati。
zhangchaogangcaifaweixingaosuwo,yinweiguoniantiqianxiaban。
wojiuzaisuanji,zenmerangtatingdaoqinmeidefeifuzhiyan。
yijiazizhongnvqingnan,duixiaoguzijiweiniai,daxueshidiannaohesheyingjidoumaiguide。
biekanzhangchaogongzidi,yigeyuehuabudaoliangbaikuai,shijinianlaijijialijiaolesanshiwan。
taneisanshiwandouhuazaixiaoguzishenshang,zhangchaoxintengmeimei,yexinganqingyuan。
hunhou,tagongzikalisuoyingdangjiwo,daozhipopoduiwogengjiachoushi。
zhangchaoyoudiannanguo,kanzhexiaoguzishuo:“zaizhangbeijiayoudianfencun。”
“qie!”xiaoguzibaiyanfanshangtian,mingxianmeibatafangzaiyanli。
tazuibazuozuokuaizi,zhuanshenkanxiangermei:
“erjie,nimaifushishiyinweibianyima?xiangmeixiangguo,shuaidaohaizizenmeban?nizenmejiubutingquanni?wodoushiweilenihao。”
xiaoshuyijiatongshishenxiyikouqi,gujizaipingxinuhuo。
daguonianzuzhourenjiahaizi,yongedulaixingrongyebuweiguo。
二妹转眼笑了笑。
“busuanzhuangxiuhuale300duowan,ai,zheiqianmaiyitaoshikuile,naxiangnijia,maisitaodoubuyongyibaiwan。”
puchi!woganjinjiazhuangcazuiyongchouzhidangzhuziji。
ermeizheihuataizhaxinle,popohexiaoguzipofangsile。
wohaimeileliangmiao,popomaotoujiuduizhunwole:
“dangchuniyaotongyijixiaoyakaigongsi,womenjiayenengguoshanghaorizi。”
“niyaoshixianwoerzisha,zhengdeshao,dangchujiubuyaojiehun,nizaiwaimiantouren,zaigudaikeshiyaojinzhulongde。”
tabuzhiduiwodaodebangjia,haiwumiewochugui。
dabojishizhizhi:“xinglebieshuole,daguoniande。”
womanbujingxinshuo:“ma,kongkouwumiezaigudaikeshiyaobaguangyifuyoujiede。”
popowuzhexinzangmawochusheng,beiershenlaqubiedefangjianquanjie。
xiaoguzirenbulele,paizhuonumadao:
“zhangchao,ni**ma?nixifumazanma,nipidoubufangyige!”
guoran,zhangchaoruwoyuliaodeneiban:
“haole,lirou,womashentibuhao,nibuyaodingzui。tajiushisuibianshuoshuo,woxiangxinnimeiyou。”
我认真地说:
“shushumenzuogejianzheng,poposhuodehuawolushipinle。ruguohaizibushiqinshengde,wopeita30wan。ruguoshizhangchaode,tapeiwo30wan,buranwohuiqisutazaoyaowumiewo。”
                
                                春节手撕恶婆婆一家