《面对无菌室友,我杀疯了》 小说介绍
《mianduiwujunshiyou,woshafengle》shiqinghezaiyuanchuangdeyanqingleixingxiaoshuo, jiqingliyanjianglinshi《mianduiwujunshiyou,woshafengle》dezhujiao,xiaoshuomiaoshudeshi:「jiqingyizhidouhenjiduwojiayouqian,zaisushedeshihouyechuchuzhenduiwo。」wobalailehou,yuanxianweihutadelingdaozhinengditouhayaodeshuoleju:「juzhanghao。……
《面对无菌室友,我杀疯了》 面对无菌室友,我杀疯了 免费试读
mianduiwujunshiyou,woshafengle
shiyoumeigewufenzhongjiuyaopenyicijiujingxiaodu,tajiangwomenguanzaisushemenkou:
「wofangyuanwushimineibixushiwujunhuanjing。」
womenyongzhengchangdexiyuyongpinxizao,taquezhouzhemeizhize:
「nimenlianjiadeqiweiwurandaowole。」
tazhuanshenjiubaozhetadejiujingjinquleweishengjianxizao。
houlaitaliyongzijijiashikaixiaodugongsideguanxigoujiexiaolingdaowumiewotouletadekongqijinghuaqi,yaojiangwokaichu。
「jiqingyizhidouhenjiduwojiayouqian,zaisushedeshihouyechuchuzhenduiwo。」
wobalailehou,yuanxianweihutadelingdaozhinengditouhayaodeshuoleju:
「局长好。」
1
daxuekaixue,wogangjiangxinglibandaosushemenkou。
woyidakaisushedemen,xiaodushuiqiweipumianerlai,wozhenggankaixuexiaohaitiqianjisushexiaodule。
yigedabanjingzhidenvhaijiujiangwolanzailesushemenkou,tazhoumeikanxiangwo,xianqidituihouyibu,buyuedao:
「nihenidezangdongxidouxianbiejinlai。」
wobeizheituruqilaidexianqijilengzhule,wochidundikanlekanwodexingli。
jiulianggexinglixiang,haishiwoweileshangdaxuexinmaide,suiranshishoudaolewaimiandefengchenyingxiang,danyebuzhiyubianchengtakouzhongdezangdongxiba。
tajizijizhouweipenshangyibianjiujingpenwu,erhouyoujiangjiujingpenwuduizhewocongshangdaoxiapen。
「yitiantiandezhenshifansinimenzheixierenle,yidianyebuzhuzhongweisheng,jianzhishiwuranwoshenbiandekongqi。」
「xuexiaoweishengfengpingneimechayounimenyibandezeren。」
wobeiqiangdebiyandouyaofanle,genbenmeitingqingtashuolexieshenme。
巴拉巴拉的。
zhengdangwoyiweizheiyiqiezhongyujieshudeshihou,tajiangxiaodushuidijiwo。
「banidexiangzi、xiezi,quandouxiaoduyibianzaijinlai,buyaorangwokanjiannibasushewaimiandebingjun、huichendaijinlaile。」
「wofangyuanwushimineibixushiwujunhuanjing。」
wobulijiebingdaweizhenjing:?
womensusheyihoushiyaogaizaochengshoushushima?
xiangzhezunzhongyixiashiyoudejiepi,wonazhexiaodushuijiwodexinglixiangmanmanqingjie。
zaiwoqingjiedeshihou,lingwaijigeshiyouyeluxugandaole。
「douzhanzaisushemenkoubuzhunjinlai。」
dangwokanjianlimiandeshiyouyounachuleliangpingjiujing,bingqieyongtongyangdehuayujiangtamenlianggeganlechulai,wojiuzhidaowodedaxueshenghuoyikaishijiuyaobuandingle。
taniezhebizi,younazhejiujingpenwuduizhelingwailianggeshiyoukuangpen。
「woshuowomenshizenmelaopingbushangwenmingchengshi,yuanlaishiyounimenzheibangzanglaoshu。」
「meiyouqingliganjingbuzhunjinlai。」
waimiandetaiyangzhaolejinlai,womensangezaisushemenwaihanliuyuxiaqingjiezhezijidexingli。
hetamendejiaotanzhong,wodezhiletamendemingzi,yigejiaoliyan,lingyigejiaozhangjiajia。
womenyiweitayaoqiudeqingjiexinglishijiandandexiaodu,meixiangdaotayaoqiuwomenjiangxinglililiwaiwaidouqingjie、caxiyibiancainengjinlai,haiyaodedaotadetongyi。
womendiyicixiangjinqudeshihou,talanzhuwomen:
「nimenxinglixiangdehuichendoujinwoyanjinglile!」
wobukezhixin:「niyouyanjingma,womenxiangzicadedoukuaibininaoziganjingle。」
wohuahaimeishuowan,tajiujiangsushemendaliguanshang。
zhangjiajiabeiqidenutileyijiaomen:「nishenjingbinga!」
womenyoucalebangexiaoshi,redebuxingxiangjinqudeshihou,tazuozaisushekongdiaodixiaxianqidihandao:「yishenchouhan,biejinlaiwuranlesushedekongqi。」
womenxinshengbuman,meiyoulihuitajiuzhijiejinqule,wosuanshikaileyanle,kaixuediyitianjiuyushangzheimetiaotideren。
2
tajianwomenzhiyiyaojinlai,yigerenyelanbuzhuwomensange,youkaishifengkuangpenjiujing。
边喷边叨叨:
「yiqunqiongxiangpiranglaideren,daodiyoumeiyouzuijibendeweishengchangshia。」
「womenjiadebaomudouzhidaojinmenqianyaoxianjiangzijixiaoduganjing。」
「yixiangdaoyihouhaiyaohenimengongchuyishi,wojiugandaozhixi。」
tayoutaotaobujueshuoleyixie,wocongtakouzhongdezhitajiaojianglin。
womenwuyudetingzhetashuozhetajiayouduoaiduoaiganjing,womenyouyouduomebuaiganjing。
womenhaimeixiangshoudaosushedeliangyi,jianglinjiujiangkongdiaoguanle,youjiangsushedezhengmenheyangtaimenquandoudakai。
waimiandereqiquanbuyonglejinlai。
jiangmenkailehaibugou,jianglinhaijiangchuanghudakai,rangtaiyangzhishejinlai。
dunshizhenggesusheredebuxing。
「woyaotongfengbanimenshenshangdezangqiquanbudousanchuqu。」
liyanbuman,taxialechuangbakongdiaokaile,woyeshundaijiangmenquanbuheshang。
tayoudasuanquguanshang,womenzhijiebataanzhu。
jianglinbeiwomenqidenupenyipingjiujing,「henimendaizaitongyipiankongqili,wozhenpawohuishengbing。」
wokaifengshansanlesanwei:「henidaizaiyiqiwozhenpawojiujingzhongdule。」
wojuedingwushita,gangkaixuehaimeihaohaorenshiqitadeshiyou,xinqingjiuquanbubeitagaozale。
womensangenachulecongjialimiandailaidetechanhuxiangfenxiang。
haimeikaolvyaobuyaojijianglin,tajiuxianediduizhewomensangenupenjiujing。
「zheixiedongxi,meiyoushipinshengchanxukezheng,meiyoushipinyingyangchengfenpeiliaobiao,chilenimenyebupasi。」
wokanzhetadefanying,doukuaibeiqixiaole。
kanzhetazheixiaodudejing,wodouxiangjitajiegejiujingpenwudaiyan。
我忍不住吐槽一句:
「这么会喷。」
江琳:
「nizenmezhidaowojiakaixiaodugongsi。」
womenjigetingdaotadehuadoulengleleng。
「?」
wozhongyudongsushejiaoluolibaizhesiwuxiangxiaodudedongxishizenmelaidele。
womensangeyaoyaotou,mianmianxiangqudoubiaoshi,yihoujiubatadangkongqiba。
这样心里还舒服点。
jiangsusheshoushihaohou,womenyuehaoleyiqichuquchidunfan。
jianglinyegenzhewomenyiqilaile,zuoshoutizhexiaodushui,youshounazhejiujingpenwu。
3
womenzaichuangkoudiancai,meidianyigecai,jianglindouyaozaiyipangdianpingyifan。
tadeshengyinliaoliangqieqingxi。
wo:「ayi,woyaoniurouhangqie。」
「shaodeneimehei,doubuzhidaoshibushiguomeixiganjing,zheiniyechidexia。」
liyan:「mapodoufu。」
「digouyouduodewoexin。」
zhangjiajia:「youmendaxia。」
「chouxiasixiamenchulaide,limianbuzhidaoduoshaojishengchong。」
shitangayizailibianweiwomendacaitingdetashuozheixiehuadoubushufule,gengbieshuoshiwomenzheixiedacaidetongxuele。
yipanggangdawancaidetongxue,jiudaletaganggangshuodeneijiyang,dishengshuoleju:
「nibuchidehuagunchufantanga,zaizheidianpingshenme。」
jianglinlianheileyishun:「sheixihanchinimenzheixieqiongrenchideshiwu。」
「shiduokuaiqianyidunyeganchi,yidianyebuguanxinzijideshipinanquanwenti。」
womendawancaihou,meizaiguanjianglin,raoguotaquzhaozuoweiqule。
jianglinheneilurenchaowanhouyouguolaizhaodaolewomen,zhenggebiaoqingnuqichongchongde。
「nimenweishenmebudengwo!」
wobailetayiyan:「womenzheixieqiongrenyaojinshi,meikongpeigongzhushichaminqing。」
tadenglewoyiyanhou,congtadebaobaolinachuleyicixingzuodianpushangleshitangdezuoyi。
zuoxiahouyounaqixiaodushuiheqingjiebucaqishitangdezhuozi,nongwanlezheixiehaibugou。
zuihouhaiyaoduizhetashenbiandekongqipenjiujingpenwu。
shitangzhuozidemianjibenlaijiubushihenda,tayitongpenxialai,womendefancaiyezhanranshangle。
woyizhenexin,lianxupeilejisheng。
「有没有素质啊。」
liyanjiuzuozaitadeduimian,fancaibeipenshangdemianjigengda,beigeyingdebuxing,「biepenle,haiyaobuyaorenchifan。」
jianglinyilianbiyikanzhewomen:「yiquntubaozi,pabushipingshijikuaiqiandejiujingpenwuyongduoleburenshihaodongxileba。」
「wodejiujingpenwukeshishipinjide。」
「nimenbeipendaolehaibuganendaide,wobangnimenxiaoduzheixiemanshixijundefancai。」
我被她说傻了。
tazheifugaogaozaishangdeyangzibaijisheikanni。
woduanqipanzi,weiweixiaodao:「nidejiujingpenwushibushishipinjidewobingbuguanxin,danshinizaigonggongchanghejiangtapendaolewodefancaishangmian,shigerendouhuigeying,hekuangsheizhidaonidepenwujiancedabudabiao。」
jianglinyinweiwoshuoletadebaobeijiujinghou,zhenggerenqijibaihuai,nupaishitangdezhuozi。
zheichudongjingbazhouweichifandexueshengdouheleyitiao,fenfenjiangmuguangtoudaowomenshenshang。
jianglinkaishijiaoxunwomen,turanyoubuzhidaoxiangqileshenme,deyiyixiao:「zheishangbaikuaiqianyipingdejiujingpenwunimenqueshiyemaibuqi,bijingyipingzheigejiushinimenbamahaojitiandegongzile。」
「wozheicijiuxianyuanliangnimenshijianshiduanqiancaimaofanwode。」
neinikezhenshishan,haiyuanliangwo,woxuyaonideyuanliangma。
womeiyoulihuijianglinjixuzaishitangziwogandongshifabiaoganxiang。
duotingtashuoyijuhuawodouyaoshaochijidun。
4
jianglinzijiyigerenquchitadefurenshiwuqule。
meiyoutadesushekongqidouxinxianlehenduo,kexizheigekongqizhiliangbunengweichihenjiu。
meiguoduojiutajiuhuilaile,yihuilaijiuniezhubizi,meitoujinzhou,congbaolitaochujiujing:
「nimenxidedaodishishenmeliezhimuyuluhexifashui!」
「pingshiweishengjiucha,lianxizaodouxibuganjingshima?」
「liangweishudedongxiyongzaishenshang,nimenbupazijitoushangzhangshizima?」
wobeitahoudeshentiyiduosuo,zixiwenlewensushedeweidao,faxianbingmeiyoutashuodeneimeqiguai。
hekuangzheixiexiyuyongpinyebushishenmelianjiadedongxi。
wobailetayiyan:「meipindedongxi,xihuanyongjiujingxizaoshiba。」
xiangshibeiwoshuozhongle,jianglinjianjiaoqilai,jiuyaoshangqianchewodetoufa:
「nishuosheimeipinni,yongjiujingxizaozenmenile,shentiyitianhuodongxialai,quanshendoushixijun,sheihuixiangnimenneimezang。」
a?haizhenyongjiujingxizaoa。
gangcongweishengjianchulaideliyantingdaotaxizaoyeyongjiujingzhenggerendoulengleleng,bukezhixindexiaolexiao。
jianglinjianwomenzaixiaota,zhenggerendoubuhaole,yinyangguaiqidishuo:
「yinimendezhishanghewokaoshangyiyangdedaxuehenxinkuba,congxiaojieshoudejiaoyudouhewobuzaiyigecengjishang,zhenshinanweinimenlezheimenulicaiyouxueshang。」
「hewozaiyigesushe,nimenyebuyongzibei,bijingyinimendejiating,gongchuyigedaxueshengyeburongyi。」
最烦**的人。
「niyoudongle、niyoumingbaile、niyoujugaolinxiadekaishiyuanliangwomenle。」
「zhenshixiaonaofayubuwanquan,danaowanquanbufayu。」
「xiangdainiquyiyuan,yishengdoubaibaishoushuozheilibukangou。」
jianglindelianqingyizhenbaiyizhende,bianxilianside:
「shenmejiatingnengjiaoyuchunizheizhongmeisuzhideren。」
wowusuoweibaibaishou:「shi,wojialirengongzuomang,meishijianguanwo,buxiangnia,juqikuaizijiushituanyuanfan。」
jianglinhengyishengjiubaozhetadexiaodushuijinquxizaole。
meiguoduojiu,womensushejiumimanzhexiaodushuideweidao,gebisushederenjianweidaotaidale,haiguolaiwenwomen:
「nimensushezheimewanlehaizaigaoweishengma?」
suguanjingguoledouxiangtiqianjiangzheigeyuedewenmingsushebanjiwomen。
jianglingangchuigantoufajiukaishigaoshiqing。
「zaiwomenjia,baomumeibangexiaoshijiuyaoquanjiaqingjieyibian,xianzailaidaosushewoyejiubuweinannimen。」
shuozhe,tanachuyigesushezhiripaibanbiao:
「zhiyaoyourenzaideshihou,womensushebixumeigexiaoshijinxingdasaoweishengyici。」
wozixiduanxiangleyixiaweishengzhiripaibanbiao,yitianxialaijibenshangdoushiwomensangerengan,womenyitiannengpaisiban,jianglinyitianzuiduodasaoyiciweisheng,youxietianshenzhiyicidoubuyongdasao。
womenshishenmezhongdiangongma,yaomeigexiaoshituoyibiandisaoyibiandi。
zhangjiajianaguobiao,jiangjianglinzhirideshijianquanqilai:「niyigexingqidasaosanci,womendasaoershiduoci?」
「真是好大的脸。」
jianglinmeiyougandaorenhedebudui,hailizhiqizhuang:
「zheigesushejiuzhiyouwozuiganjing,dangranshiwozuodezuishao。」
「wojinimentigongxiaoduwupin,nimenduozuoxiebushiyinggaidema?」
jianglinhaizaitaotaobujuedeshuozheixie,ranhouzuibashuokele,tashunshoujiangzhuozishangyipinglvlvdedongxinaqilaiheleyidakou。
 
                 面对无菌室友,我杀疯了
                                面对无菌室友,我杀疯了