《奇葩舅舅一家人》 小说介绍
zuozhe“yiming”jingxinbianxiewanchengdeyanqinggushi,《qipajiujiuyijiaren》shizheibenshudemingzi,zheibuxinzuopinzuijinhuobaoshangxianle,gushiqingjieshengdongganren,zhurengong:fangyuwangyuan,liangrenzhijiandeqingganjiugefeichangjingcai,xiaoshuojianjie:mamaxiesidilihouleyisheng,jinjiezheyouchaowopuleguolai,shenshoujiuyaozaidawo。xingkuilaogongyanjishoukuai,budengtapuguolai,jiuhaoxiangdinghaishenzhenyiyang,zhanzailewo……
《奇葩舅舅一家人》 第4章 免费试读
18
woyijingbuzhidaopaileduojiudemen,etoudizaimenshang,shengshengqixue。
「ma!kekeshinideqinwaisunnva!nijiusuanbuxintengwo,yegaixintengkekeba!woqiunile,bakekehaijiwoba!」
「ma,dangchukekegangchushengdeshihou,niyebaoguota、qinguota,nikankanta,taxianzaizhengzaikuzheyaobabamama,ma,kekejiushiwodeming,nijiudangfangwoyitiaohuolu,xingbuxinga!」
shenpangdelaogongyirannubukee。
「wangyouzhu,ruguonizaibukaimen,woxianzaijiuyibangjialesuozuibaojing!wokandaoshihoujingchalaile,niyaozenmejiaodaijintiandesuozuosuowei!」
「haiyou,ruguonimendanganshanghaikekeyigenhanmao,wozheibeizidouhuigennimensikedaodi,buxindehuanimendakeyishishi!」
wodekuqiu,laogongdeweixie,buduanzaizheixiazhaibizedeloudaozhonghuidangzhe。
kewuliderenquehaoxiangduizheiyiqiedouchongerbuwen。
jiumaneicierjiankedeshengyinxiangqi:「xiangyaonimenguinv,haoshuoa,zhiyaonimendayingbafangzijiwomen,dengshenmeshihoufangziguohudaowojiayuanermingxia,zheihaizijiulimahaijinimen。」
shuozhe,jiumayoufachuyishengxiangliangdejixiao。
「shuodaodiyebuguoshigepeiqianhuo,haizhidangdenimenzaiwaitouyoukuyouhan,buguowokan,nijiazheipeiqianhuozhangdedaoshitinghaokan,wojiayuaneryetingxihuanzheigexiaomeimei,burujiubatayuanerzuogetongyangxiba,woheyuanertabayebuxianqinimenzheipeiqianhuonianjixiao,yuyua,nijuedezenmeyangya?」
什么???
tingdaojiumazheiwanggurenlungangchang,tuporenxingxiaxiandehua,wodacongxindishengqiyiguehan。
可可现在才4岁!
zheigeshexiexinchangdenvren,juranganshengchuzheimeexindeniantou!
woxueshunjianyongdaolenaozili。
「wangyouzhu!liguihua!nimenlianggejianzhichushengburu!nibamendakai!bawodekekehaijiwo!」
wozaigubushangshenmedishengxiaqi,zhixiangjinkuaibamenzakai,haobakekecongzheixie**zhitushouzhongqianghuilai!
「菀菀,你闪开。」
laogongbawocongmenqiantuikai,numuyuanzhengdingzhumianqianjinbidefangdaomen。
下一秒。
「砰!!!」
yishengjuxiang,xiujibanbandefangdaomen,beibaonuzhixiadelaogong,yijiaochuaikaile。
19
laogonglongxinghubuchongjinneichouqixuntiandexiaxiaochuzuwu。
qishibirendezhizhichaozhekekekuhanshengchuanlaidefangjianchongqu
gangganghaiyigejingerjiaoxiaodejiujiujiuma,mudengkoudaikanzhedaoxiadefangdaomen,zhongyuxianganchunsidesuoqilebozi,buganzaichushengle。
「nipeiwojiademen!nipeiwojiademen!」
tamenbuganyanyu,kebeitamencongxiaoniaizhezhangdadewangyuan,quegenbenmeiyourenhekanrenyansedebenshi。
dianguanghuoshijian,sihouzhedewangyuanbashoulideliezhishoubanhenhenzadaolelao**shang。
shunjian,xianhongdexueyeshunzhelaogongdeetouliulexialai。
woxinliyidou,mangshangqianchakanlaogongdeshangshi,laogongquehuanhuantuikaiwo,muguangyinchenkanxiangshoudegenmaganersidewangyuan。
「benshibuda,piqidaoshibuxiao。」
wozhidao,laogongzheishibeiqihenle,tayeshijialidedushengzi。
gonggongpoposuirancongmeiyouniaiguota,queyecongmeijiaoguotazaiwaishouleqifuhaiyaorenqitunsheng。
xianzaiwangyuanjiranxiandongleshou。
neijintiandeshier,jiujuebuhuiqingyibulelezhile。
yanjianlaogongyiyanbufachaozhewangyuanzouqu,mamayishengjianjiaochongshangqu,jiangbitahaigaochuyitoudewangyuanbaozailehuaizhong。
「xiaoqin,yuanerhaishigehaizi,ta、taganggangjiushigenninaozhewanerde,nijiu、nijiubiegentajijiaole!」
shouruodemamalanzailaogongmianqian,shengsilijiedehuzhetahuailidenanhai。
huanghujian,woshenzhiyiwei,wangyuancaishitadeqinshenghaizi。
erwo,duitalaishuogenbenwuzuqingzhong。
shenzhiwolaogongbeiwangyuanzachulexue,zaitakouzhong,yezhishixiaohaizizainaozhewaner。
多可笑啊。
20
「闹着玩?」
laogongyebeimamaqixiaole,tamianwubiaoqingkanzhemamahewangyuan,jimiaohoushenxiyikouqi,huitoukanxiangwo。
「yuyu,nijuedewangyuanshizaigenwonaozhewanma?」
wolengxiaozhekanxiangbeimamahuzaihuaili,querengjiuyilianbufuqidewangyuan:「jiranmashuotashinaozhewan,neiyinggaijiushile。」
tingdaowozheihua,mamashunjianjiusonglekouqi。
tazhidao,laogongyixiangzuitingwodewo,jiranwodouzheimeshuole。
neilaogongjiukendingbuhuizaigenwangyuanjijiaole。
「duia,wojiushuoyuanertakendingmeiyouhuai——」
「buguo,」wodaduanmamalisuoyingdangdehua,yaoyaqiechidao:「tazenmegenniwanerde,niyezenmegentawanyiwan,wanerma,dangranshiyaoyoulaiyouwangcaiyouqu。」
wozheijuhuagangshuowan,laogongjiuchongzhewoluchugexiaorong。
紧接着。
tazhongxinkanxianglenanyizhixindemama,yijitahuailineitanbenjiufubushangqiangdelanni。
「xing,neiwojiutinglaopode!」
laogongzhidiyoushengyingxia,qiangyingdijiangwangyuancongmamahuailichelechulai。
xiayimiao,tayiquanzazailewangyuanlianshang!
「远儿!!!」
jiumafengleyiyangpushanglai,jiangbeilaogongyiquanchuidaodishangdewangyuanbaozaihuaili,kudehaoxiangsileqindieyiyang。
21
shenweitamenjiadedangjiaren,yanjianerzibeida,jiujiudangranyelimachongshangleshanglai。
「qinjianshen!laozigennipinle!!!」
danjiujiucuojiucuozai,yiweizijihuishilaogongdeduishou!
xujiuduoniandeta,zaoyijingbeijiutaokongleshenti。
laogongxianglinxiaojizaiyiyang,zhuazhujiujiudeyiling,batacongdishanglinleqilai。
ranhousuishouyishuai,jiurengdaoleqiangjiao。
「有柱!!!」
yanjianjiujiubeirengdaodishangpabuqilai,mamajianjiaoyisheng,pudaolejiujiushenbian。
landezaikanzheichoutaibaichudeyijiazi。
wochongxianglekekesuozaidefangjian。
「mama,mamabaobao……」
nverchouqizhe,xiangwoshenchulexiaoshou。
kanzhenverkudetonghongdexiaolian,woshunjianleiruyuxia,puguoqujiangnversisiloujinlehuaili:「wodekeke!」
xiaoxinyiyijiangkudesangzidouyaoyaledenverbaochulai,gangyaohelaogonglikai,mamaturanfenglesidilanzailewomianqian。
haiwangtubakekecongwoshouliqiangzou!
「nigebuxiaodedongxi!juranganrangninanrendanijiujiuheyuaner!niyaoshibuxiangrangwocongzheiloushangtiaoxiaqu,jiujiwobakekefangxia,zailimagennijiujiuheyuanerqufangguanju!buran,congjinwanghounijiubiezaijiaowomale!」
mamapitousanfa,muguangxionghendidingzhuwo。
ruguoshuo,woganggangzaimenwai,haiduitaxincunxijidehua。
neixianzaiwodexinyijingchediliangtoule。
「好。」
wosisibaozhenver,luoxiayigezi。
mamamianseyixi,tayiweiwozaicibeitaweixiechenggong,dayingleyaobafangziguohujiwangyuandeshiqing。
kehaibudengtashuochugengduorangwoyanedehua,wojiujixushuodao:「congjinwanghou,womenduanjuemunvguanxi。」
shuozhe,woyouyanqidipieleyanpazaidishangdejiujiuquanjia,lengxiaochusheng。
「nimenwangjiaren,zuihaodoubiechuxianzaiwomianqian,fouze,wobunengbaozhengzijihuizuochushenmeshiqing!」
shuowan,wobaozhenver,yiranjueranzhuanshenlikai。
22
likaijiujiujia,woxiandaizhenverpeipeilaogongquzhensuobaozhaleshangkou。
zheicaigentamenyiqihuilejia。
kekejintianshoudaolejudadejinghe。
bujinpiankebulidiyaowobaozhe,haibuyunxulaogonglikaitadeshixian。
kanzheyourujinggongzhiniaodenver,wobeicongxinzhonglai,yanleizaicibutingdiaoluoxialai。
「妈妈不哭……」
nverrouruanzhinendexiaoshou,qingqingfuguowodelian,cadiaowobuduandiaoluodeleizhu。
wanshanghaoburongyihongzhenvershuixia。
wohelaogongshenxinpibeidizuodaoketing,simuxiangduiwuyuningye。
「yiwokan,tamenyinggaibuhuijiucishanbaganxiu。」
laogongnieniemeixin,xinfanyiluandikaikou。
wodangranzhidao,wojintianlikaijiujiujiashi,yezhishiyinweiqihenlecaihuiliaoxianeijuhenhua。
kewoxiangxin,anzhaotamentianbuzhichidechengdu。
肯定不会就此罢手。
「yuyu,woxianzaijiuyaoniyijuhua,niduinima,haiyounijiujiuyijia,daodishizenmexiangde?」
laogongwozhuwodeshou,cumeishenshenwangxiangwo。
wokuxiaoyisheng,shidaorujin,wohainengzenmexiang?
「yixiangdaotamenduikekeshengchuneiyangexindeniantou,wojiuhenbunengbatamenchoupibajin!」
tingwotiqizheishier,laogongdebiaoqingyeyishunjianbiandegewainankan。
buguohenkuai,takanxiangwodeyanzhong,jiufuqilexintengdeshense:「xing,younizheijuhuawojiufangxinle。」
laogongfuzhuwodejianbang,zhengzhongqishiduiwoshuo。
「yuyu,rangwomenbazheijianshi,chedijiejuediaoba。」
jibianlaogongbushuo,zaozaizhidaotamenweileqiangfangzi,bakekecongyoueryuanguaizouzhihou,woxinlijiuyeyoulezheiyangdeniantou。
23
womenfuqiliangyipaijihe。
jikekezaiyoueryuanqinglebangeyuedejia,bahaizisongqugonggongpopojiahou。
wohelaogongjiufenbiexingdongleqilai。
neitianqujiujiujiazhaokekeshi,wosuiranqihunletou。
queyemeiwangjiliuxiatamenbangjialesuodezhengju。
tingwanwoshishoujilideluyin,lvshipengyouduiwozheixieqipaqinqijianzhitanweiguanzhi。
gankaiguohou,lvshipengyougaosuwo。
「genjunitigongdeluyin、zhaopianyijineitiaoxinxi,wokeyiquedingtamendexingweiyijinggouchenglebangjialesuozui。」
「buguo,tamendebangjialesuozuisuiranchengli,danyouyunimenbingmeiyoushizhishangdesunshi,jiusuanninazhezheixiezhengjuqugao,tamenyinggaiyepanbulejinian。」
lvshipengyouyihandiyaoleyaotou。
「erqienimencongxueyuanshanglaishuohaishiqinqi,fayuanfangmiankenenghuizhuoqingjianxing。」
danwoquebingbujuedeshiwang,zhiyaokeyiquedingtamendexingweiqueshiyijinggouchenglebangjialesuo,neiwojiuzhidaozhihougaizenmebanle。
「mafannile,gaitianwogenjianshenqingnichifan。」
lvshipengyoumanbuzaihudebaibaishou:「genwohaikeqishenmea,huitouruguoyaodaguansidehua,zhiguanlaizhaowo,jiudangkanzaikekedemianzishang,wojinimenmianfei。」
告别律师朋友。
wodadianhualianxilezhengganwangwolaojia,shoujijiujiudubo、dajiazhirenshangcan,wangyuanzaixiaoqiaozhalesuo、touqieyixiliezuizhengdelaogong。
zhiyumamahejiujiuneitou。
tamenjingrandaoxianzai,haiyiweiwozhishizaihehutamen。
juranhaiyitiandaowandadianhua,faxinxi,shuowangyuanmashangjiuyaokaixuele,rangwochoushijianganjinbafangzijitamenrangchulai。
24
weilebaoliutamenbangjialesuodezuizheng,worenzheexinmeibatamendelianxifangshishandiao。
wodelengchuli,xianrangengjiajinulebenjiufennudetamen。
zheitian,wogangxiaban,jiujiedaolemamadalaidedianhua。
「fangyu!nishibushizhenbuxiangrenwozheigemale!jintianjiushiwojinixiadezuihoutongdie,ruguonimingtianhaibuqufangguanju,wojiudangmeishengguonizheigenver!」
dianhuali,mamadeshengyinxiesidili,cidewodeermoshengteng。
wokuxiaoyisheng,fanwenta:「ma,nizhendeyoubawodangzuoguonidenverma?ruguoyou,neiwozenmeyidingdianerdoumeinengganshoudao?」
yingzhexiarimenredewanfeng,womeirenzhugengyanleyisheng。
「zheixienianlai,nixinxinnianniandizhiyounididi、nizhizi、nimenlaowangjia,nishenmeshihoubawo、bawobafangzaiguoxinli?ma,woleile,zhende,wobushiwoba,woxianzaiyeyouwozijidejiatingle,wulunniyihouhairenburenwo,wodoujuebuhuizaixiangbabayiyangjixuzongrongnimenle!」
houwanzuihouyijuhua,wozhijieguaduanledianhua。
kegenqinshengmuqinnaobaidezhentong,quexiangchaoshuibanxiangwoxijuanerlai,jihujiangwoyanmei。
「妈妈!」
huanghujian,wohurantingdaokenverdeshengyin。
wolianmanghuiguoshenlai,jiujianbeipopoqianzhedenver,zhenglehehedichaowoshenchushoulai。
woxiaopaozhechongdaonvermianqian,jiangtajinjinbaozaihuaili。
nverquexiangshishenmedouzhidaoside,yongtadexiaoshouqingqingmozhewotoufa,roushenganweiwo:「mamabieku,kekehuiyizhiaimamade。」
tingdaonverzheijuhua,wodeyanleishunjianjuedi。
kewobaozheng,zheishiwozuihouyici,weineigesuoweide「qinshengmuqin」liulei。
25
老公的工作很快。
buguoduanduansantian,jiushoujihaolejiujiuhewangyuandezuizheng。
tamenbushixiangyaowodefangzima?
bushixiangrangwangyuanshangzhongdiangaozhong,zhiwangzhetayihoufeihuangtengdama?
wodaoyaokankan,zheimeyigeliejibanbandexuesheng。
wanshang,wobianhelaogongzhenglitamendezuizheng,bianshipinlianxilelvshipengyou。
「yohe,guanera,nizheijiujiuhebiaodikezhenshiwudujuquanle,chulesharenfanghuojiumeitamenbugangandeshierleba?」
kanzhetamenfanxiadeleileizuizheng。
raoshiwozheijianguanledachangmiandelvshipengyou,dourenbuzhuzezechengqi。
「yizhaozheixiezhengju,zuiduonengpantamenjinian?」
ruguobushishizaidabudaosixingbiaozhun,woshenzhixiangrangjiujiuzhijiesizaijianyuli!
「shaoshuoshinian,danruguotabangjialesuodezuimingchenglidehua,ershinianyebushibukeneng。」
lvshipengyoududinggaosuwo。
wohuanhuantuchuyikouqi,zuijiaozhongyuyoulexiaorong。
zhidaotabuhuiyouhaoxiachang。
我就放心了。
guadiaohepengyoudeshipin,wogenlaogongxiangshiyixiao,congbiciyanzhongkandaolejietuo。
26
jiujiubeijingchadaizoudeneitian,wohelaogongteyiquweiguanle。
kanzhemamahejiuma,pitousanfazhuizaijingchehoumian,paodaoxiezidiaoledoulaibujichuan,kezuizhonghaishihenhenshuaizaidishangkutianqiangdi。
jinguanyouxielengmo,wohaishiwufakongzhididaxiaochusheng。
yuanben,zhiyaotamenananfenfen,jibianzheibeizibunengdafudagui,yenenganwenduguo。
ketamenqianbugaiwanbugai。
不该贪得无厌。
不该伤害我的可可!
yishenxuanpan,jiujiuyinweibangjialesuozui、guyishanghaizui、juzhongdubo、konghelesuodengyixieliezuize,shuzuibingfazhixia,beipanchuleyouqituxing22nian。
tajinnianyijingnianjinwushi。
deng22nianhouchulejianyu,yedaolekuairutudenianji。
zaidezhijiujiubufuyishen,xiangyaojixushangsudeshihou,wohelaogongquleneisuotamenhualebabaershiwanyichan,caizhongyubawangyuansaijinqudezhongdiangaozhong。
shuominglaiyihou,womenbeidaidaolexiaozhangbangongshi。
「guixiaoyixiangzeyouerlu,womenzhenxinxiwang,ninqianwanbuyaoweileyanqiandeyingtouxiaoli,jiuhuilezhenggexuexiaodemingsheng。」
wojiangwangyuanchuzhongsanniandesuozuosuowei,quanbubaidaoxiaozhangmianqian。
kanzhemianqiandeleileizuizheng。
xiaozhangconghuaiyidaoxiangxinzaidaodajingshise。
zuihou,tazhenxinganxielewohelaogong,shuoduokuiwo,caimianlerangzheisuoquanguochimingdegaozhong,qingyubeihuiyuyidan。
27
走出学校大门。
wogenlaogongduishiyiyan,gangxiangshuoxieshenme,jiubeiyizhenjicudedianhua**daduanle。
dalaidianhuade,zhengshimama。
「fangyu!nilikezhaorentuoguanxi!buguanniyongshenmebanfa,yaohuaduoshaoqian!douyidingyaobanijiujiuconglimianlaochulai!」
jibiandaolexianzaizheiyangdeshihou,taduiworengjiushiyizhiqishidetaidu。
「huaqian?ma,wojiushigepuputongtongdeshangbanzu,wonaerdeqianqubangtapingshierle?」
「wobuguan!!!」mamaxiesidilizhe:「yaoshimeiqian,neinijiuqumaiche、maifang,wodatingguole,nineifangzishixuequfang,zhishaoyenengmaigeyiqianwan!zaibuxing,haiyouqinjianshentafumudefangzi!wobuguan!takeshiniqinjiujiu!nibixujiuta!buranwojiucongnijialoushangtiaoxiaqu!rangquantianxiarendoukankan,nifangyujiushigemeiliangxin、meixiaoxindehunzhangwangbadan!!!」
tingwanletadepaoxiao,wocailengjingkaikou。
「ma,nigaibuhuiwangle,niyijingzhudonggenwoduanjueguanxileba?zaishuole,nineibaobeizhizihaihuozheni,nizhenrenxinpaoxiataquxunsi?」
「你这个——」
「ma,zheishiwozuihouyicijiaonima。」
wodaduantadewuyanhuiyu,meizaijitamawodejihui。
「nixiangyaoshixiangrannididizaijianyuliguodeshufudian,yihoujiubiezailaizhaorewo,buran,wokebubaozhengqinjianshenhuizuochuxieshenmeshilai,nizhidaode,tarenmaiyixiangtebieguang,jianyulikeyeyoubushaolaoshurenni。」
shuowanzheijuhua,wozhijieguaduandianhua,ranhoubata,haiyouwangjiasuoyourendelianxifangshi,tongtonglahei、shanchu。
congjinwanghou,wozaiyebuxiangjiandaorenheyige,genwangjiayouguanxidelele!
tamendecunzai,zhihuirangwojuedewubiexin!
「wa,yuanlaizaiwolaopoyanzhong,wojuranzheimelihaidema?」
laogongkuazhangdeyudiaozaiwoerbianxiangqi。
wotiaomeikanxiangta,taishougouzhutadexiaba。
「怎么?不行啊?」
「xingxingxing,laopodarendangranshuoshenmedoushiduide!」
laogongwenroudixiaozhe,jiangwolanjinletahuaili。
womenzaishengxiadeyanyangzhongyongbao。
qingzhuwo,zongsuanbaituolegoushiyibanderensheng。
奇葩舅舅一家人