《碎嘴拜年》 小说介绍
huobaoxinshu《suizuibainian》shitangxunzuixinxiedeyibenyanqingleixiaoshuo,benxiaoshuodezhujiaotangxunyuanhan,shuzhongzhuyaojiangshule:womianlisidepaipaita:「shizaibuxingrangsanjiubangnizhaogedifangyehaohaobaoyangyixia,shuobudingyenengmaigehaojia。」erbiaogebeiwoqideliansetonghong,gangyaofazuo……...
《碎嘴拜年》 第1章 免费试读
chunjiehuijia,worangqinqiwenfengsangdan。
yijinmen,wojiuqinredibaozhudajiuma:「dajiuma,guonianchidebucuo,pangleyoushijinba。
「sanjiu,tingshuoquniannizuoshengyipeileshiduowan,meishia,xinniangongxifacai。
「erbiaoge,nixianzaigongziduoshaoa?
「ya,zheibuxiaobiaodima,qimodaduoshaofena?」
renaodefangjianyinweiwodedaolaieryaquewusheng。
biezoua,zailaoshikuaiqiande。
1
yinweiyiqingdange,liangnianmeinenghuijiaguonian。
beilazhechuanqinqidemeimeimeicidadianhuadoushiyilianshengwukelian。
tingshuowojinnianhuiqugenzhechuanmen,womeigenshangzhanchangyiyangfanfudingzhu,rangwowanshixiaoxin。
wopaipaitadejianbang:「fangxin,nijiejiezhongjiushinijiejie。」
chuerneitian,wolinzheshuiguogenfumuquchuanqinqi。
yijinmenwojiuqinredibaozhuledajiuma,reqingdefangfodongtianlideyibahuo。
「eiyouwei,dajiuma,xianzaizheirizihaole,guonianchidezhenbucuo,ninzheidepangleshijinba。」
dajiumacanlandexiaoronglikejiangzailelianshang。
tangzaishafashangdesanjiuziranyemeiyouduoguoqu:「sanjiua,ninrangrenpianzhezuodeneixiecancipinzenmechulidea?
「dajiu!woketaixiangnile!tingshuonigongzuomeile,zenmehuishia?」
wojinmenyitongshuchu,ketinglidejigerendougaxiaojisheng,batouniudaoyibian。
jiaoluolihuranchuanlaiyishengxiao。
wozhuanguotou,kanjianleyigemoshengnanren。
jianwomuguangtouguoqu,talianshangweihong:「buhaoyisi,shilile。」
dajiumashunjiantingzhileyaoban,qingsangzidao:「jieshaoyixiaa,zheishishuyadenanpengyou。」
shuyayejiaoxiudibaozhulenanrendegebo,chaowoluchugetiaoxindeyanshen。
xingba,youmoshengrenzai,wojiubujietaduanle。
benlaixiangzhebiciliudianmianzi,meixiangdaodayifucongxishoujianchulai,xianqidinajiaotilejixiawomendailaideshuiguo:
「liangnianmeihuijia,haiyiweihunchuleshenmemingtang,jiuzheimedianshuiguo。
「xiaofenzuotiandaidekeshimaotai。
「yihuierjinibadaoyibeichangchang,yaoburantazheibeizigujidoumeiheguozheimehaodejiu。」
xiaofenshiwobiaojie,dayifudenver,zicongjialegeyouqianren,meicijianmiandouyaobiansunwomenjia。
wozuibinaozikuai,zezechengzandao:「yaobushuojiushuxiaofenjiejilingni,zhidaoniyoujiujinggan,duomaidianjiukuaidianbanisongzou,shaoleduoshaojiniyanglaodemafan。」
dayifuyijiaotifanleshuiguodai,zhizhewodebizijiuyaoma:「nishuoshenmeni?!」
womaninglewoyiba,ganjinhexini:「xiaoxunyeshiguanxinnideshenti。」
erbiaogeyezouguolai:「suanle,yifu,nvrennengzhuanduoshaoqiana,youdiangongzihaidehaohaobaoyangni,yaoburannengmaigehaojiaqianma?」
wotaitoukanxiangta:「shia,erbiaogezuinengzhuanqian,buzhidaoxianzaigongziduoshaoa?
「ewowangle,jinniansanjiuhaituowobangnizhaogongzuolaizhe,nixianzaibuhuihaijialidunniba?」
womianlisidepaipaita:「shizaibuxingrangsanjiubangnizhaogedifangyehaohaobaoyangyixia,shuobudingyenengmaigehaojia。」
erbiaogebeiwoqideliansetonghong,gangyaofazuoyoubeiwojiezhuhuatou:
「buguowogujinizaizenmebaoyangyegouqiang,」woduanxiangleyixiatadelian,「dizibuxing。」
yinweiwoyijinlaijiushafengledexingwei,wuziliyishimeirenzaichuzhao。
danshigenjuwomeizidemiaoshu,zheixiebuguoshikaiweixiaocai,fanzhuoshangcaishizhenzhengdelijie。
zheidaoshishiqing,youqishihelejibeishangtouzhihou,marendemaren,zhidianjiangshandezhidianjiangshan,youqishiwobamapiqihao,womenjianianniandoushibeihuolijizhong。
danshisheirangwoshigeshekongni。
全称社交恐怖分子。
zuoweiyigehegedeshekong,shuohuadezhudaoquanzenmenengjiaojibieren。
kenengbeiwoyikaishinongdexinyouyuji,chilejikoufanzhihoudajiumakaikouqiaodawo:
「xiaoxuna,jintianshiguonian,zhinengshuojilihuaa。」
dayifuhongzhelian:「jiushi,jiunimeijiaoyang。」
wozhenxiangxiao,womeimeiquniangaokao,tamenzaifanzhuoshangshuotakendingkaobushangburuquzhongdi,shuowomalianshangzhanglebangenhuanglianpoyiyang,wenwobazenmehaibuchugui,shuowoliangnianmeihuijiashibushigenbierenpaoleduotaibuganhuilai。
yiweiwoshenmedoubuzhidaoma?
shuozheixiehuadeshihou,tamenhaijideshiguonianma?
benlaixiangzheshuyadainanpengyouhuilai,bicidouliuxiemianzi,jiranzheiyang,woyebuyongrenle。
woduanqiyibeijiu,jidajiumayigexiaolian:
「那是当然。
「dajiuhedajiuma,wozhidaodajiuchuguile,neinvrendoushangmenle,suoyini,xindeyinian,wozhunimenfuqilianghehemeimei。
「sanjiu,wotingshuoniqunianzuoshengyipeileshiduowan,meishia,xinniangongxifacai。
「xiaobiaodi,bujiushiliukejiaqilaibudaoyibaifenma?pasha,xinniana,jiezhuniliukejiaqilaiguoyibai,xueyejinbua。」
woreqingdigenmeigerenpenglebei,haomaidiyiyinerjin。
ranhoutaitoukanxiangjigeduanzhejiubeiliansefaqingderen,kaikoudao:「nimenbuhedehua,zheikeshibujizuowanbeidemianzia。」
dajiumabeiwolianduiliangci,tielexinyaogenwogangdaodi,meiduojiuyoushuodao:
「laohuashuodehao,nandadanghunnvdadangjia,shuyani,jinnianguoniandaihuilaigezheimehaodenanpengyou,xiaoxuna,niyedezhuajinle。」
意料之中。
zaikanjianshuyakuazhenanpengyouneiyikewojiucaidaolezheicuihunbibukemian,zheibuzaoyouzhunbeima?
我差点笑出声来。
wolianliandiantou:「dajiuma,nishuodetaiduile,womenzheigenianling,jiudeganjinlianaijiehun,yanggewachuanzongjiedai。」
dajiumabeiwodezhiqiudamengle。
wojiezheshuodao:「youqishierbiaoge,biwohaidasisui,liannvpengyoudoumeiyou,zheidezhuajina。
「wojierbiaogejieshaogeduixiangba。」
wotaochushouji,diaochulezhaopian。
erbiaogekanleyiyan,shensechouchu:「zheibiwomasuishuhaidaba?」
wobaibaishou:「nizheijiubudongleba,nvdasanbaojinzhuan,zheidebaoqibakuaijinzhuan,nirizihaichouma?
「tazijihaiyougeshijisuidehaizi,shengleniduoshaoliqi。
「haiyoua,biekantajiafuzhaishijiwan,danshitarenteshangjin,nigentazhunmeicuo。
「wozuoweinimeimei,hainenghainima?」
erbiaogedebiaoqingfangfotunleyizhicangying。
dajiumamomofangxialexiangyaojiwotuijianxiangqinduixiangdeshouji。
duifuhenrendefangshi,jiushibitagenghen。
womayouzhuailewoyiba:「bieshuohualea。」
woyiliantuixinzhifu:「ma,zheijiushinibuduile。wohezheixieqinren,neishixuenongyushui,liangnianmeijianmian,wozhengyouyiduzihuaxiangshuoni。
「zaishuole,niburangwoshuohua,wozheiyebiebuzhua。」
「噗……」
biaomeidenanpengyouxiaolediercile。
wokantayiyan,haishimeirenzhuduitayiju:「daxiongdi,nizheixiaodianyoudiandia。」
zheijuhuachenggongrangzhongrendemuguangzhuanxiangleshuyahetananpengyouyuanhan。
dayiwendao:「xiaoyuana,nishizuoshenmegongzuode?」
yuanhanhaimeikaikou,shuyaangqiletou:「yuanhanshiqiyegaoguan,yiniannengzhuanjibaiwanni。」
guoran,fanzhuoshangsuijichuanlaiyizhenxixu。
womashizhenxintitagaoxing:「shuyacongxiaojiupiaoliang,xianzaizhaodenanpengyouyezheimeyouxiu。」
shuyadeyidikaolekaoyuanhandejianbang:「shia,wogaozhongdeshihoujiuyouhenduorenzhuini,buxiangbiaojie,daoxianzailianaidoumeitanguoba。
「biaojie,bushiwoshuoni,ninaerdouhao,kexijiushizhanglezhangzui。」
womantiaosilidiheleyikouxuebi:「shia,nigaozhongneigenanpengyoushuozijizhuanglenaozi,feirangnichuoxuejitamenjiachuanzongjiedai,wodutamenjiamenkoumaletasigeduoxiaoshi。
「xianzaikankan,zhuangnaoziderenbushita,shiniba。」
wosaoleyiyanneigeyuanhan,suiranwozheigebiaomeimannaozicijing、genquegenxianyiyang,danshiyuanhanzuoweitadenanpengyou,yifukanrenaodeyangzishizenmehuishi?
yushiwoyouwuchabiegongjidisaosheletayiju:「suoyinizuihaoyebiezuoshenmezhanandequedeshi。」
「yaoburanwoyedunigongsimenkoumasantian。」
yaoburanshuowozheigebiaomeinaoziquegenxian,wozheihuamingmingshiyidebaoyuanhuzheta,taquefanlegebaiyan,zhijiemeiliwo,zhaohuzheyuanhanjiwomenjiarenjingjiu。
jingdaozishenjiujingaihaozhedayifuneiliketonglemafengwo。
tapingrilijiuyouxujiudemaobing,xianxiadaidaoyuanhanjiushiyidunmengguan。
dayifumanliantonghong,qiangyingdiyoujiyuanhandaolemanmanyibeibaijiu:「lai,zaiganyige。」
「buhejiushibujiwomianzia。」
yuanhanbeiyilianguanlesansibei,shizaiyouxiechengbuzhudilianliandaoqian。
dayifuyipaizhuozi:「niyigezuoxiaobeideganbuhewodaodejiu?」
「tangxun!nilaigenwoheyibei!」
zhengzaizhuanxinganfandewoturanbeicue。
woduanzhefanwan,biaoyanlegelengzhudebiaoqingbao。
ranhoudixiatounachuleshouji。
「qunliaoxiangqinxiangaiyijiaren」
「shipinhaojiujingganzhuanhuaweiganaidesandazhengzhao」
「tuiwenguonianhuijiaquannihejiudebushiqinren,shichouren」
「tuiwenjing!wuxunlaohanguonianlianhejiusantian,jingran……」
shunbiandakaileyigepeizhebeicanyinledezhanweiweizhugunlaorendeshipin。
画外音苦口婆心:
「nihaizaiquanjiarenhejiuma?」
「naoxueshuanzhihoudefujianyouduonan……」
yuanhanmomobajiubeituiyuanle。
erdayizejidayifuyige「nimeishiretaganma」deyanshen。
wangyouneiwen、taifengkuangdianping:tangxunbililede,《suizuibainian》zheibenxiaoshuozhongmiaoxiedegegechangjingdourangrenganshoudaotadewenxuezhishishifengfude,haojiumeiyoukanzheiyangnengtaoyexingqingdewenle,zhenpeifuzheiyangdezuozhe。
wangyouranzhiliunianhuaguodianping:kanwanquanpian,tangxunyongyixiejingmiaociyu,wuxingzhongweixiaoshuolidezhujiaotangxunyuanhanzengsebushao。
                
                                碎嘴拜年