套路失败，女友是个隐藏段子手！
《套路失败，女友是个隐藏段子手！》 小说介绍
zheishiyibuyanqingxiaoshuo，jiangshulelizihaoliangxizaimoluwuxindebixiajinglileyixiliejingxiancijidegushi。lizihaoliangxitianshengjubeilechaohuxunchangdetianfu，tamianlinzhelaizigefangshilidezhuishahekaoyan。zaizheigecankuershenmideshijieli，tabixubuduanchengzhangbingxunzhaozhenxiang。lizihaozuijiaodexiaoyigengshenle。zheiweiwaibiaowenjing、tucaoxilideliangbianji，sixialiguoranyoudianyisi。“zoule，bijiasuoxiansheng。”liangxihuihuishou，zhuanshenlikai。……lingrenpingxiyidaidejiejujiangzhenhannidexinling。
《套路失败，女友是个隐藏段子手！》 套路失败，女友是个隐藏段子手！精选章节 免费试读
wuhoudeyangguangxiangronghuadejinzi，lanyangyangdipuzai“manshiguang”kafeiguandebolichuangshang。
kongqilimimanzhekafeidoudejiaoxianghetiannidegaodianqixi，bengaishiyonglanqieyideshiguang，
quebeiyigekuangbendeshenyingjiaoluanlejiezou。lizihao，28sui，guanggaogongsichuangyizongjian，
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tazaoshangweileganyige“jiafangbabatufaqixiangyaowucaibanlandehei”dechuangyifangan，aodeliangyanfalv，
jieguohaishihualilidichidaole。“rangrang！jieguo！shiwanhuoji！”tayibianhan，
yibianzaiyongjidepaiduirenqunzhongzuochongyoutu，xiangtiaowurushadingyuqundenianyu。
muguangjinjinsuodingzhekaochuangyuliuzuoweishangyigexizhuanggelv、pinpinkanbiaodeshenying——tadezhongyaokehuwangzong。
jiuzaijulimubiaohaiyousanmi，shenglizaiwangzhiji，yiwaifashengle。
taweilebikaiyigepengzhejudadangaohedeguke，mengdixiangyouyishan，
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”liangshengjinghujihutongshixiangqi。bansuizhebeidiesuiliedeqingcuishengxiang，
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yigezhazhedimawei、daizhexikuangyanjing、kanqilaiwenjingyouganliandenianqingnvhai——zhengditoukanzhezijideyifu，
biaoqingcongjingedaonanyizhixin，zaidaoyizhongjinhukongbaidemangran。“dui…duibuqi！shizaiduibuqi！
”lizihaoshunjianhuishen，shoumangjiaoluandicongkoudailitaochuyidatuanzhoubabadezhijin，
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fanerbawuziyunrandegengda、bianjiegengmohu，yuanbenhaisuan“chouxiang”detuan，
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chuangyizongjiandezhiyebingfazuo），yibiantulaodiyongzhijinjixutumo，yibiantuokouerchu，
“wo…wozheibushiguyide！wozheishizaijinidefengyizuodujia‘kafeiran’！
baozhengchunshougong、chuntianran、duyiwuer！yinlingjinqiu…bu，jinnianchaoliu！nikanzheiyunranxiaoguo，
duome…e…yishu！”tashitujichuyigeanfudexiaorong，jieguoyinweiguoyujinzhangerxiandeyouxieniuqu。
nvhai——liangxi，26sui，chubanshebianji——zhongyucongyifudecanzhuangzhongtaiqitou。tafulefuhualuodeyanjing，
jingpianhoudemuguangpingjingdisaoguolizihaoneizhangxieman“chuanghuole”he“qiangxingwanzun”delian，
zuihouluohuizijineijianyijingkeyisongqucanjia“dangdaiyishuzhan”defengyishang。tameiyoujianjiao，meiyounuma，
zhishiweiweiminleminchun，ranhouyongyizhongqingxi、lengjing、shenzhidaizhedianxueshutantaoyiweideyuqi，
jingzhunditucaodao：“xiansheng，ninzhei‘kafeiran’jifa…”tadunledun，sihuzaixunzhaozuitieqiedexingrong，
“…shigenbijiasuowanqichouxiangpaixuedema？yanliao（kafei）posadedaoshitinghaofang，
jiushizheigoutu（wuzi）…ng，youdianguoyu‘yishiliu’le，yibanrenkongpaxinshangbulai。
”“……”kongqizaicianjingle。lizihaojuzhezhanmankafeizidezhijin，chedilengzhule。
yuxiangzhongdenuhuohuokuqimeiyouchuxian，yingmianerlaideshiyijijingzhun、xili、daizhelengyoumode“yishupiping”。
zheifanchataida，taichuhuyiliao。takankannvhaineizhangpingjingshenzhiyoudianwugudelian，
youkankanziji“chuangzuo”de“yishiliujiezuo”，yiguhuangmiuganzhichongtouding。“puchi…”xiayimiao，
tazijixianrenbuzhuxiaolechulai，erqieshineizhongfazifeifu、tingbuxialaidedaxiao。“hahahaha！bijiasuo！
yishiliu！jingpi！taijingpilemeinv！hahaha…”taxiaodeyanleidoukuaichulaile，
gangcaidejinzhanghegangashunjianyanxiaoyunsan。liangxikanzhetaxiaodeqianyanghouhedeyangzi，
jinbengdezuijiaoyezhongyurenbuzhuweiweishangyang，luchuyisiwunaiyoujuedehaoxiaodehudu。zheigemaoshigui，
daoshibuanchanglichupai。“shizaibaoqian，shiwodecuo。”lizihaohaoburongyizhizhuxiao，
molemoyanjiaodeleihua（buzhishixiaochulaidehaishijichulaide），taiduzhenchenglexuduo。“wojiaolizihao，
shiguanggaogongside。gangcaiganzhejiankehu，paodetaijile。nizheiyifu…wopei！ganxifei，huozhe…shizaibuxing，
wopeijianxinde！bijiasuodashidezuopin，huizaiwoshouli，zuiguozuiguo。”tashuangshouheshi，
zuolegekuazhangde“peizui”dongzuo。liangxibeitadoulele，baibaishou：“suanlesuanle，yiwaieryi。wojiaoliangxi。
peijiubuyongle，ganxishishiba。”taditoukanlekanshijian，youkanxianglizihaoyuanbenyaoqudekaochuangweizhi，
“nidekehuhaoxiang…zoule？”lizihaoshunzhetademuguangkanqu，guoran，neiweiwangzongyijingbujianzongying，
zhizaizhuoshangliuxiayigekongkafeibeiheyizhangyazaibeididebianqianzhi。tazouguoqunaqiyikan，
shangmianlongfeifengwuxiezhe：“lizongjian，linshiyoujishi，fanganxiacizaitan。ling：xiaciqingzhunshi。
——wang”“……”lizihaoniezhezhitiao，neixinyiwantoushenshoubentengerguo。fanganbaiaole，kehufeile，
haipolerenjiaguniangyishenkafei…jintianzhenshi“zhushibuyi”。tashenxiyikouqi，zhuanshenhuidaoliangximianqian，
lianshangyouguashanglezhaopaishide、daizhedianwulaidecanlanxiaorong：“nikan，kehudoupaole，
shuominglaotianyeyejuedewojintiangaiqingnihebeikafei，haohaopeizui。shanggelian？
jiudang…weiwomende‘yishupengzhuang’ganbei？
”liangxikanzhetaneishuangliangjingjing、chongmanqidai（haiyoudiankelianbaba）deyanjing，
zaixiangxiangtagangcaineifan“bijiasuo”degaolunhecikedelangbei，jujuedehuazenmeyeshuobuchukou。
taqingqingdianlediantou：“haoba。buguo，qingjiwoyibeibingshuiyayajingjiuxing。
”tazhilezhizijineijian“yishupin”。“meiwenti！bingshuiguangou！kafeiyeguangou！
”lizihaolikemanxuefuhuo，yinqindiyinzheliangxizouxiangyigexiangduianjingdejiaoluozuowei。
liangbeibingshui（liangxi）heyibeinatie（lizihao）henkuaisongshang。qifenbiyuxiangdeyaoqingsongxuduo。
lizihaotianshengdezilaishuheyoumogankaishifahuizuoyong。
tatuomohengfeidijiangqiguanggaoquandeqipajiafang、tianmaxingkongdechuangyidianzi（youxietingqilaixiangkehuanxiaoshuo），
haiyouzijiruhecongyigemomowuwendexiaomeigong“huyou”chengchuangyizongjiande“lizhi（huyou）shi”。
liangxianjingditingzhe，xiaokouchuoyinzhebingshui。tabiaomianshangxianggerenzhendetingzhong，shibushidiandiantou，
danneixinzaoyidanmushuaping：“wucaibanlandehei？ng，jiafangguorandoushiwaixingshengwu。
”“baxifashuiguanggaopaichengxingjichuanyue？zheinaodong…shiheidongba？”“‘huyou’chengzongjian？
zheijinglidaoshitingxieshi，chubanshedemouxieguanxihuyeshizheime‘chengzhang’de…”ouer，
danglizihaoshuodaomougetebielipudedianzishi，tahuirenbuzhuqingqingtuiyixiayanjing，jingpianhoudemouguangyishan，
jingzhundijieshangyiju：“suoyi，nimenguanggaorenderichang，jiushifuzejixiaofeizhebianzhiwucaibanlandemengjingpaopao，
ranhoudengzhejiafangbabayizhenchuopo？”“annizheishuofa，‘huyou’shiguanggaorendehexinjineng？
neinimengongsinianzhongjiangshibushigaifa‘zuijiahuyoudashi’jiangbei？”meicitalengbudingmaochudexilitucao，
douranglizihaoyanjingyiliang，xiangshifaxianlexindalu。tabujinbunao，fanergengjiaxingfen：“duiduidui！
zongjiedaowei！liangbianji，nijianzhishiwomenjiafangduzilidehuichong…abu，shilinghunzhiji！
”takuazhangdipaizhezhuozi，“zhijia！lai，weiwomendelinghungongmingganbei！”tajuqikafeibei。
liangxibeitadouderenjunbujin，yeduanqibingshuihetapengleyixiabeiyan。liaozheliaozhe，
jiantouluchushenmidongfangliliang”deqipazuozhe（jiafang）；shenzhilianchangqudafashijiandedulishudiandoushitongyijia。
“yuanfenaliangxi！”lizihaoyipaidatui，“nikan，pokafeishiyiwai，
danrenshinijueduishijintianzuidadeshouhuo！biqianleneigewucaibanlandeheideanzihaizhi！
”liangxibeitazhibaide“caihongpi”shuodeyouxiebuhaoyisi，ditouminzuixiaolexiao。zheigelizihao，
suiranmaoshi、hualao、naohuiluqingqi，danneifenhaobuyanshidereqingheshibushimaochudelengyoumo，
queshirangrentaoyanbuqilai，shenzhi…youdianyouqu。kafei（bingshui）jiandi，shijianbuzao。liangxiqishenzhunbeigaoci。
“dengdeng！”lizihaolianmangtaochushouji，lianshangduiqiyigedaizhediantaohaohejiaoxiadexiaorong，“jiageweixinbei？
fangbianwohouxugenjin‘bijiasuozhenji’deqingxijindu，huozhe…womenyekeyijixushenrutantaoyixiaxiandaiyishu，
biru…xiaciqunagemeishuguangaodian‘yiwaipengzhuang’？”liangxibeitadoulele，nachushouji。saoma，tianjia。
lizihaodeweixinmingheranshi——“jiafangbabaraoming”。“pu…”liangxizaicipogong。taditoucaozuoshouji，
jianghaoyoushenqingtongguo。jiuzaitashouqishoujideshunjian，lizihaoyanjiandipiedao，
tapingmushangyitiaopengyouquandongtaiyishanerguo，
shitajiyitiaoguanyu“dagongrenruheyouyadizailaobanyanpidixiamoyu”deduanzidianlegezan。
lizihaozuijiaodexiaoyigengshenle。zheiweiwaibiaowenjing、tucaoxilideliangbianji，sixialiguoranyoudianyisi。
“zoule，bijiasuoxiansheng。”liangxihuihuishou，zhuanshenlikai。
mibaisefengyishangdeshensewuzizaiyangguangxiagewaixianyan，xiangyimeidutedexunzhang。lizihaozhanzaiyuandi，
kanzhetadebeiyingxiaoshizaijiejiao，molemoxiaba，lianshangluchuyigejihuatongdexiaorong：“ng，
‘kafeiran’kaiju，xiaoguo…haibulai？wentibuda！”jialeweixinde“bijiasuoxiansheng”lizihao，
xianranmeidasuanrangtamendegushitingliuzaikafeiguande“yishupengzhuang”jieduan。tadegongshi，
rutongtaneixietianmaxingkongdeguanggaochuangyiyiyang，zhijie、tiaotuo，qiechongmanlerangrenwufayucede“jingxi”。
weixintishiyinxiangqishi，liangxizhengmaishouyuyiduixuyao“zizhenjuzhuodaorangrentoutu”deshugaozhong。tanaqishouji，
pingmushangtiaodongzhe“jiafangbabaraoming”dexinxi：＞lizihao：liangbianji！
‘bijiasuozhenji’qingxijinduruhe？shifouhuanfayishuxinsheng？[qidaicuoshou.jpg]liangxizuijiaoweiyang，
shouzhiqingdian：＞liangxi：baogaobijiasuoxiansheng，ganxidianlaobanbiaoshi‘zuopin’yijingshenyuan，qingxinanduwuxing，
zhengzainuliqiangjiuzhong。yuji…yishujiazhikenengzhesun50%。[weixiao]＞lizihao：jiazhizhesun？！
tongxinjishou！zheisunshibixuyouwochengdan！zheiyang，weilefuweiwomengongtongshoushangdeyishuxinling，
zhoumowoqingniqugedifang，baozhengchongman‘shenghuolinggan’！[jizhi]＞liangxi：？shenmedifang？xianshuohao，
wodui‘kafeiran’gongfangyouyinyingle。[jingti]＞lizihao：fangxin！
zheicishichunguanshangxing、chenjinshiyishutiyan！yijia！zenmeyang？
shibushichongmanlebeioujijianfengyurenjianyanhuoqidepengzhuang？[deyi]＞liangxi：……yijia？
[lengzhu]niquedingshiqu‘guanshang’，erbushiqu…caigoujiaju？＞lizihao：gejudakai！liangbianji！
yijia，neishiyigejudade、mianfeide、365tianbuluomudeshenghuojuchang！womenqufajuegushi！
[xingxingyan]jiuzheimedingle！zhouliuxiawuliangdian，yijiarukoujian！bujianbusan！
[feibenerqu.jpg]liangxikanzhepingmushangzuihouneigehuantuodebenpaobiaoqingbao，wunaiditanlekouqi。
zheigelizihao，guoranbuantaoluchupai。buguo…quyijia“fajuegushi”？
tingqilaisihu…bixiangxiangzhongyaoyouquneimeyidiandian？……zhouliuxiawu，yijiarenshengdingfei。
lizihaochuanzheyijianyinzhejuda“？”detxu，zaozaodengzairukou，kandaoliangxizoulai，yanjingyiliang，
reqinghuishou：“liangxi！zheibian！jintiannikeshiteyaojupingren！
”liangxikanzhetaneijianchongmanzhexue（huozheshuomihuo）qixidetxu，renbuzhutucao：“lidao，
ninzheishenxingtou…shianshijintiande‘jumu’chongmanweijiezhimima？”“bingo！
”lizihaodalegexiangzhi，xiaorongcanlan，“shenghuobenshenjiushizuidademiti！zou，
dainiqukankanwofaxiande‘baozangjuchang’！”tazirandijieguoliangxidebao（dongzuoliuchangdefangfopailianguo），
daizhetashumenshuludichuanguoxirangderenqun，zhibenyangbanjianquyu。
tatingzaiyigebuzhiwenxinde“sankouzhijia”yangbanjianqian，zhizhelimianlianggejiarenmote，
yigezuozaishafashangkanbaozhide“baba”，yigezaikaifangshichufangmangliude“mama”，
haiyouyigezuozaixiaoshuzhuoqiande“haizi”。“kan！”lizihaoyadishengyin，yanshenshanshuozheezuojudeguangmang，
“biaomianshangkan，zheishiyigewenxinhexiedejiatingchangjing。danshi！”tahuafengyizhuan，
zhizhe“baba”shoulidebaozhi，“qingzhuyixijie！baozhinafanle！shuomingshenme？
”liangxibeitashenmixixideyangziganran，yerenzhenguanchaqilai，peihedixiaoshengwen：“shuoming…babaxinbuzaiyan？
”“fuqianle！”lizihaoyaotouhuangnao，“zaikantaweiweicexiangchufangdeyanshen！neishijinzhang！shixinxu！
zhenxiangzhiyouyige！”tamengdizhixiang“mama”fangzaichufangtaimianshangdepingbandiannao，“kan！
pingbanshangdengludeshibabadeyouxizhanghao！zuixingoumaijilu——jiazhi998de**banyouxipifu！
”liangxijingyadidengdayanjing，shunzhetade“tuili”kanqu，suiranpingbanpingmushiheide，
danlizihaohuishenghuisedemiaoshurangtafangfozhendekandaoleneixiehuamian。“suoyi，”lizihaoyadishengyin，
daizheyizhongjielujingtianmimidexingfen，“babatoutouyongmamadezhifuzhanghaomailepifu！
jieguomamazhengzaichazhangdan！dazhanyichujifa！”tazhuantoukanxiangliangxi，yanshenchongmanyaoqing，“zenmeyang？
liangbianji，youmeiyouxingqukechuanyixia‘mama’dexinshengpeiyin？biru，‘qinaide，
zheibi998deyouxizhichu…ninengjieshiyixiama？’yuqiyaowenrou，dandaizheshaqi！
”liangxibeitazheituruqilaide“xijing”yaoqingnongdekuxiaobude，kanzhezhouweiouertoulaidehaoqimuguang，
lianweiweifare：“lizihao…zhei…taixiuchileba？”taneixinos：zaiyijiayangbanjianjijiarenpeiyin？
zheiyuehuiluziyetaiyele！“yishuchuangzuoma！yaojiefangtianxing！”lizihaosongyongdao，zijiyijingniezhesangzi，
mofang“baba”deshengyin，daizhezhandou：“lao…laopo，nitingwojieshi！
neipifu…ta…tazijitiaodaowogouwuchelide！hai…haizijidianlefukuan！
”taneikuazhangdebiaoqinghehuajideshengyin，rangliangxishizaimeibengzhu，“puchi”yishengxiaolechulai。
kanzhetachongmanqidaideyanshen，zaikankanneilianggewugudejiaren，yiguezuojudechongdongyongshangxintou。
taqingleqingsangzi，xuezhelizihaodeyangzi，yadishengyin，duizhe“mama”mote，
nuliyongpingjingzhongdaizheyisiweixiandeyudiaoshuo：“e？shima？neitayoumeiyoushunbianbangnibasifangqianyetiaomeile？
”“puhahaha！”lizihaoshunjianxiaowanleyao，“duiduidui！jiushizheigeweier！liangxinitaiyoutianfule！
shenlaizhibia！”talikejieshang“baba”detaici：“si…sifangqian？laopowoyuanwanga！
wodoubilianhaiganjing！nikanwozheizhenchengdeyanshen…”taduizhejiarenpinmingzhayan。liangrenniyijuwoyiju，
yuewanyuehai，wanquanchenjinzaizibianzidaoziyandejiatinggouxuelunlijuzhong。cong“baba”zangsifangqianbeifaxian，
dao“haizi”qishizaijiazhuangxiezuoyeshizetoukanmanhua，juqingyuelaiyuelipu，xiaoshengyeyuelaiyueda。
zhouweioueryouguketoulaichayidemuguang，dangengduodeshibeitamenhuanledeqifenganran，luchushanyideweixiao。
liangxiyecongzuichudexiuchi，chedifangkai，tourudaozheihuangdanyouhuanlede“chuangzuo”zhong，xiaodeyanjiaofanlei。
“hu…xiaosiwole…”congyijiachulai，liangxiroulerouxiaojiangdelianjia，“lizihao，
ninaozilizhuangdedoushishenmea？”“zhuangdedoushirangshenghuobiandehaowandechuangyia！
”lizihaodeyidiyangleyangxiaba，“zenmeyang，liangjupingren，jintiandechenjinshijuchangtiyan，haimanyima？
shibushibikanhuajuyouyisiduole？”“ng…biechuxincai，yinxiangshenke。”liangxichengshididiantou，xiaorongweitun，
“jiushiyoudianfeisangzi。”“xiaowenti！zou，dainiqubuchongdiannengliang，shunbian…jinxingxiayixiangyishutiyan！
”lizihaoxingzhibobo。“xiayixiang？”liangxijingtidikanzheta，“zheiciyoushishenme？”“fangxin！
zheicishiweijuedeyishu！”lizihaoshenmiyixiao，daizheliangxiqiguaibarao，laidaoleyigerenaodejiebianxiaochiqu，
tingzaileyigekanqilaiyouxieniantoudejianbingguozitanqian。tanzhudashushoufaxianshu，tiebanshangreqitengteng。
“longzhongjieshao！”lizihaoshayoujieshidiyihuishou，
“benshishenzangbulude‘minjianmiqilin’——‘laozhangjianbingyishugongfang’！jintian，jiuyoubiren，
teyuemeishipinglunjializihao，dainilinglvezheifangcunzhijiandeweijuezhexue！
”liangxikanzheyanqianchongmanyanhuoqidejianbingtan，
zaikankanlizihaoyibenzhengjingfangfozhanzaigaojicantingqiandianpingdeyangzi，
zaicibeitaqiangdade“yishuhua”nenglizhefu，renzhexiaopeihedao：“lipinglunjia，qingkaishinindebiaoyan。
”zhenghaotamendejianbingguozizuohaole。lizihaojieguorehuhudejianbing，bingmeiyoulikechi，
ershixiangjianshangyishupinyiyang，xianzixiduanxiang，ranhoucoujinwenlewen，zuihouxiaoxinyiyidiyaoleyixiaokou，
bimujujiao，biaoqingjiqitouru。“ng……”tafachuyouzhangde、fangfopinchangzhenxiudegantan，
“zheibocuidesucuidu，rutongchudongqingchenluozaikuyeshangdediyilvboshuang，qingying、shuangli，rukoujisui，
queyouzaichijianliuxiaduanzanerqingxidehuixiang…”tazhengkaiyan，muguangjiongjiongdikanxiangtanzhulaozhang，“zhangdashi，
huohouzhangkongyizhenhuajing！”laozhangdashubeikuadeyilengyilengde，hanhoudixiaozhenaonaotou：“xiaohuozizhenhuishuohua，
jiu…jiuzhengchangzuoma。”lizihaoyouyaoleyikou，jixutade“dianping”：“zaikanzheijiangliaodediaopei！
xianxiangweizhu，weitiantixian，daizheyisiruoyousiwudexinla，rutongdianjingzhibi！
zheiweidao…ng…jiyouchuantonglucai‘jiangbao’jifadediyun，houzhongzhashi，youqiaomiaodirongruleshijingdeyanhuoqi，
pingyijinrenquebushishendu！cengciganjiqifengfu！”liangxizaiyipangtingdemudengkoudai，
neixindanmufengkuanggundong：“jiangbaodiyun？shijingyanhuo？cengcifengfu？
yigejianbingguozinengpinchumanhanquanxideganjue…lizihao，nibuqudangmeishizuojiazhenshiqucaile！
”taqiaoqiaotaqiaoqiaonachushouji，dakaileluxianggongneng，duizhunlezheiwei“xijingfuti”depinglunjia。
lizihaowanquanchenjinzaijiaoseli，
：“zonghekaoliangqifengwei、kougan、chuangyi（zhijialelianggedanheshuangbeibocui）yijidaijishikedexingfugan…wo，
lizihao，zhengzhongjichupingfen——8.5fen！”tashenchudamuzhi，duizhelaozhangdashu，“zhangdashi，
shizhiminggui！”zhouweijigedengjianbingdelurenyebeitadoulele，fenfenxiaozheguzhang。laozhangdashuliandouxiaohongle，
haoshuangdiyoujitamendejianbingliduojialeyigenhuotuichang：“xiaohuozihuichi！songnigenchang！”liangxizhongyurenbuzhu，
wuzheduzixiaowanleyao：“hahaha…lizihao…ni…niyingle…8.5fen！haidashi！
hahaha…”taxiaodeyanleidouchulaile，baluhaodeshipinhuangjitakan，“zhengjuquezao！
‘jianbingguozipinjiandashi’feinimoshu！”lizihaojieguoshoujikanlekanzijigangcaide“biaoyan”，
yehahadaxiaoqilai，sihaobujuedeganga，fanerdeyidiyaoleyidakoujianbing：“zenmeyang？
shibushijuedezheijianbinggewaixiangle？zheijiao‘fuyushiwulinghun’！
”yukuaide“shuangrenyishuzhilv”henkuaibianchenglerenaode“sirentanxian”。lizihaodehaoyouliuzhi，
yijiliangxideguimichengyao，jiaruletamendezhoumojuhui。“zihao，liangxi，haojiubujian。
”liuzhituiletuijinsiyanjing，yishenbiaozhundechengxuyuangezishanpeixiuxianku，shoulihainazheyigepingbandiannao，
“genjuwozuowanshoujideyonghupingjiashujumoxingfenxi，
chengxixinkaide‘weijueqidian’cantingzonghepingfengaoda4.8xing，chuangxinzhishubaobiao，zhideyishi。
”tadiankaipingban，zhanshizhehuahualvlvdetubiao，“kan，
haopingguanjiancijizhongzai‘dabairenzhi’、‘qiansuoweijian’、‘shijuechongji’shang。worenwei，
zheifeichangfuhewomenzhuiqiudutetiyandesuqiu。”pangbiandechengyao，yishenliangyandezhuangsexiuxianzhuang，
wenyanlikexingfenqilai：“wa！4.8xing！haidabairenzhi？tingzhejiudaijing！zouzouzou！xixi，lizongjian，
jintianzanmenjiuqu‘qidian’tanxian！”tawanzhuliangxidegebo，fengfenghuohuojiuyaochufa。
liangxikanzheliuzhipingmushangneixie“dabairenzhi”depingjia，yinyinjuedeyouxiebumiao，
danjiabuzhuchengyaodereqinghelizihao“meiwenti！tingshujudashide！”dexiangying，
yixingsirenzuoshangleqianwang“weijueqidian”deche。cantingdezhuanghuangqueshihen“qidian”——lengsediaodejinshuqiangmian，
niuqudejihexiantiaojiaju，dengguanghuminghuan，beijingyinleshimouzhongshiyanxingdedianziyinxiao，
yingzaochuyizhong…weilaishiyanshihuozhexingjifeichuanshitangdejishigan。“ng…huanjingfen…henyoutese。
”liangxihuangusizhou，xiaoshengpingjia。“shujubuhuipianren。”liuzhixinxinmanmandidiankaicaidan，
“genjuhaopinglvpaixu，wotuijianzheijidaozhaopaicai：liangzijiuchanshala、heidongyinliniupai、xuedingedetang。
”mingzitingzhejiuhengaokeji。sirenmanhuaiqidaididengzhe。diyidao“liangzijiuchanshala”shanglaile。
yigetoumingdeboliwanli，shengzhejituoyansegeyi（fen、lan、lv）、xingtaibuming、zhanzhanweiweidejiaozhuangwu，
shangmiandianzhuizhejipiankeshiyongjinboheyigendizheyedanmaozhebaiyandeganbingbang。sirenmianmianxiangqu。
“zhei…jiuchandeshi…guodong？”chengyaoyongchazixiaoxinyiyidichuolechuoneituofensededongxi，danxingshizu。
lizihaobaozheyanjiujingshenchangleyikoulvsede，
biaoqingshunjianbiandejiqifuza：“…kouganxiangjialebohedexiangpini？weidao…nanyimingzhuang。
”liangxikanzhewanlijiuchanzaiyiqide“liangzi”，neixinos：“ng，
queshidabairenzhi…dabailewodui‘shala’zheigecidesuoyoulijie。”jiezheshi“heidongyinliniupai”。
yikuaiyuemoshouzhangda、tongtiqiheirutan、biaomianbumanbuguizekengwaderoukuaibeiduanleshanglai，
pangbiandianzhuizhejikefazheyoulanseyingguangde…xiangshifenziliaolide“xingqiu”。liuzhituiletuiyanjing，
shituyongkexuejieshi：“zheidutedesezehezhidi，kenengshicaiyonglefenziliaolizhongde‘tanhua’jishu，
moniheidongdetunshigan…”lizihaoqieleyixiaokuai，daochayujiaoheidebiaomianmocafachucierde“gazhi”sheng。
taguqiyongqifangjinzuili，jujiaoleliangxia，biaoqingshunjianninggu，jiannandiyanxiaqu，guanleyidakoushui：“…ng，
kougan…feichang…zhashi。weidao…ng…chongmanle…yuzhouchenaidefenfang？”chengyaochangleyikou，
zhijietulechulai：“peipeipei！zheinashiniupai，zheishishaohuogunba？！haiyinli？wokanshi‘quantuili’！
”tahaobuliuqingditucaoliuzhi，“liujingli，
nizheishujumoxingshibushilousuanle‘laobankenengshichufangheidong’zheiyiguanjianbianliang？
zhei‘dabairenzhi’yetaichedile！zhijiebawodeweileidabaimeile！
”liuzhikanzhezijipanzilineikuaiheiququde“heidong”，youkankanpingbanshangdegaofenpingjia，meitoujinsuo，
hupingjiade‘shijuechongji’he‘qiansuoweijian’queshifuhe…dan‘meiwei’zheigeweidu…nandaocunzairenzhipiancha？
”zuihoushangdeshi“xuedingedetang”。yigegaizheyinsejinshugaizidewan，
fuwuyuanshenmixixidishuo：“zainindakaigaiziguancezhiqian，tajishimeiweide，yekeneng…bushi。
”lizihaoshenxiyikouqi，daizheyizhongjiekaiyuzhouaomidebeizhuanggan，xiankailegaizi。
wanlishi…yiwanqingchejiandi、piaozheliangpianxiangcaiyede…baikaishui？huozhe…gaotang？sirenchenmo。
liangxinaqishaozi，yaoqiyidian，xiaoxinyiyidichanglechang，ranhoumianwubiaoqingdifangxiashaozi，kanxianglizihao，
yongtaneiteyoude、lengjingzhongdaizhezhimingtucaodeyuqishuo：“ng，guancejieguochulaile。
ta…chenggongdichuyu‘jibushimeiwei，yebushinanchi’dediejiatai。yinweita…yagenjiumeiweidao。
”“pu…”lizihaowulian，jianbangdoudong，zuizhongrenbuzhubaofachudaxiao：“hahahaha！gao！shizaishigao！
xuedingedetang！guancejitansuo！tansuochengyiwan…zhexuebaikaishui！liuzhi，nizheishujuxuandecanting，wofule！
hahahahaha！”liuzhikanzheneiwan“zhexuetang”，zaitingzhechengyaohaobuliuqingdechaoxiao（“kanba！
nidedashujubaijileyiwanbaikaishui！”）helizihaodekuangxiao，
yiguanyanjindelianshangyeluchulekuxiaobudedebiaoqing，wunaidizhaixiayanjingrouleroumeixin：“…kanlai，
zaimeishilingyu，‘yonghutiyan’dezhuguanxingbianliangquanzhong，xuyaozhongxinpinggule。
”liangxikanzheyanqianzheizhuokancheng“kexuezainan”deliaoli，
youkankanshenbianxiaodedongdaoxiwaidelizihao、yilianyumendeliuzhihehaizaichixushuchutucaodechengyao，
suiranduzikongkong，danxinliquemomingdijuede…henhuanle。taduanqineibeiweiyizhengchangdeningmengshui，
penglepenglizihaodebeizi，xiaozheshuo：“suiranweidao‘dabai’，danzheidunfandejingli，jueduiduyiwuer，
zhihuipiaojia。”lizihaozhizhuxiao，kanzhetaliangjingjingdeyanjing，xinzhongyidong，yejuqishuibei，
renzhendishuo：“tongyi！heyouquderenzaiyiqi，jiusuanshi‘heidong’niupai，
yenengchichu…e…tansuoyuzhoudelequ？”liangrenxiangshiyixiao，beiyanzaiciqingqingxiangpeng。fanhou，
weilemibu“heidongyinli”dailaidexinlingchuangshang，sirenjuedingqudongwuyuanxunzhaoyidian“diqiushengwu”deweijie。
yangguangzhenghao，dongwumenlanyangyangde。chengyaolazheliuzhiqukanweifenglinlindelaohu，
liangxihelizihaozeliudadaolehoushan。yiqunhouzizhengzaijiashanshangxixidanao，qizhongyizhitebiehuopo，
mofangzheweilanwaiyoukededongzuo，weimiaoweixiao。lizihaokandexingqi，tongxindafa。tacoujinweilan，
duizheneizhimofangnenglichaoqiangdehouzizuolegeguilian。houziyileng，suijiyeduitazuoleyigegengkuazhangdeguilian。
“yohe！tiaoxinwo？”lizihaolaijingle，youhuanlegegengchoudeguilian。houzibuganshiruo，ciyaliezuidihuijing。
yirenyihoujiuzheimegezheweilan，nilaiwowang，biaoqingyigebiyigeniuqugaoguai，dongzuofuduyuelaiyueda。
lizihaoshenzhikaishishouwuzudao，mofanghouzidezhuaernaosai，yindezhouweiyoukefenfencemutouxiao。
“pu…”liangxizaiyipangkanzhelizihaoneifuyouzhiyoutourudeyangzi，renjunbujin。jiuzaizheishi，
lizihaozuoleyigejiqikuazhangde“dapengzhanchi”jia“waizuixiexiao”dedongzuo，
deyidichongzhehouzihan：“zenmeyang？renshuleba？gezhei‘wudishuailian’kebushibailiande！
toushidoutoubudaojingsuiba！”tahuayingangluo，zhijianneihouziturantingzhilemofang，zhuanguoshen，
yongtahongtongtongde**duizhelizihao，ranhoumanyouyoudi、jiqiqingxidi…naolenao**！“puhahahaha！
”liangxizaiyerenbuzhu，zhijiexiaopenle，fuzhepangbiandelangan，xiaodezhibuqiyao，yanleidoubiaolechulai。
lizihaojiangzaiyuandi，kanzhehouzineichongman“chaofeng”yiweide**，zaikankanxiaodehuazhiluanzhandeliangxi，
lianshangbiaoqingjingcaifencheng，congdeyidaomengbizaidaokuxiaobude。liangxiyibiancazhexiaochulaideyanlei，
yibianzhizhehouzi，shangqibujiexiaqididuilizihaoshuo：“kan…kanjianmei？
ta…tabushizaitoushi…tashizaiyongshijixingdongchaoxiaoni…lian‘shuai’dejibendingyidougaocuole！hahahaha！
”lizihaokanzheliangxixiaodehaowuxingxiangdeyangzi，yangguangsazaitadaileidexiaoyeshang，mingmeidehuangyan。
tagangcaineidianbeihouzi“xiuru”dexiaoyumenshunjianyanxiaoyunsan，
querdaizhideshiyizhongnanyiyanyudemanzuhekaixin。taguyikuaxialian，weiqubabadishuo：“liangxitongzhi，
nizheijiubugouyisile！bubangwojiusuanle，hailianhehouzidajiwo！wodexin…waliangwaliangde！