《因为一个屁,室友要杀我》 小说介绍
yinweiyigepi,shiyouyaoshawoshiyibuyanqingxiaoshuo,youfangzongshengjingxindazao。gushiweiraozhechenchenluchenzhankai,miaohuilechenchenluchenzaiyigechongmantiaozhanyushenmideshijiezhongdemaoxianzhengcheng。chenchenluchenbujinmianduizhewaibudedirenhekaoyan,haiyaozhimianneixindekongjuhemaodun。tongguofenlipinboheyongwangzhiqian,chenchenluchenzhujianchengzhangweiyigezhenzhengyongganhejiandingderenwu。jiuneigefang…fangneigedechenchen?luchenkanshangtale?jiuyinwei…nei…neige‘didao’?”“wodemaya,zheishenmeshenzhankai!xiaoshuodoubuganzheimexie!”“lushao………jiangdailingduzhejinruyigeqihuaneryouzhenshideshijie。
《因为一个屁,室友要杀我》 因为一个屁,室友要杀我精选章节 免费试读
jiaoshilineishengshipotianjingdejiucaiheziweimenpi,shichenchenfangde。jingquanxiaocaoluchenquemengditaitou,
yanshenfaliang:“goudidao!”quanxiaodouzaichaoxiaochenchenshi,luchendangzhongqianqitadeshou:“wojiuaizheiweier。
”---siwangdeganjue,xiangyikuaibeizhouranjinrubingshuilideluotie,fachucilayishengjuewangdesiminghou,
bianzhishengxiawukongburu、shenrugusuidelengheduntong。neizuihouyiyan,shichenchenniuquzailoudingbianyuandelian,
hunhezheyizhongbingtaidekuangxihehuimiedekuaiyi,tasihoudeshengyinbeitiantaihuxiaodelengfengchesui,
guanjinwoerduolide,zhishengxiamohueredudezuzhousuipian:“…peiwo…choupia…”xiazhui。
yongwuzhijingdexiazhui。ranhou——peng!bushishentizazaijianyingshuinidishangdemenxiang,
ershietouzhongzhongkezaibingliangkezhuobianyuandeduntong。jianruidetongganxiangyigenshaohongdegangzhen,
shunjiancichuanlehundundeyishi,yechediqusanleneiguyingraobusande、laizisiwangdeyinhan。womengdizhiqishen,
xinzangzaixiongqianglifengkuangleigu,jihuyaopotangerchu。houlonggandefajin,
meiyicijiannandetunyandoudaizhetiexiubandexuexingqi。yanqianshishuxidejietijiaoshijingxiang,
wuhouyonglandeyangguangtouguogaodadechuanghuxieshejinlai,zaikongqizhongtouxiawushuxuanfufeiwudexixiaochenai。jiangtaishang,
laojiaoshoulvexianshayadesangyinzhengpingwendiliutangzhe,fenbihuaguoheibande“dudu”sheng,dandiaoercuimian。meisi?
wohuilaile?zhijianbushoukongzhidizhandouzhe,henhenqiajinzhangxin,
neizhenshide、jianruidetengtongrangwohunluandenaozizhongyuzhuazhuleyisiqingming。bushimeng!wozhendehuilaile!
muguangjihushibennengdi、daizhejingjideyuwen,shudizhuanxiangzuoce。chenchen。tajiuzaiwopangbian,
gezheyitiaoxiazhaideguodao。cikedeta,shentiyiyizhongjiqibieniudezishijiangzaiyingbangbangdesuliaozuoyili,
bozigengdefazhi,houjingdepifubengdejinjinde,touchuyizhongjielirennaidejianghongse。taweiweigoulouzhebei,
shuangshousisidi、jihuyaoxianjinroulibananzaiduzishang,liangtuiyiyizhongqiguaide、jiangyingdezitaijinjinjiazhe。
neizhangpingrilihaisuanqingxiudelian,cikebiedetonghong,etouhebijianqinchuyicengximideyouhan,
zuichunminchengyitiaocanbaidezhixian,saibangziyinweiyaguanjinyaoerweiweiguzhangzhe。
meiyicihuxidoubiandeduancuerchenzhong,daizheyizhongyayide、binlinjixiandezhandou。jiushixianzai!
xinzangzhouranyisuo,judadehuangmiuganhebinglengdekongjushunjianjuezhulewo。shangyishi,jiushijimiaozhonghou,
neishipotianjing、zuyigaibiansuoyourenmingyundeyishengmenxiang,jiangcongzheigebeibiedekuaiyaobaozhadequtilibengfachulai。
jinjiezhe,shineigegaogaozaishangdejingquanxiaocaoluchen,neijurutongmozhoubande——“goudidao!
zijikexiaodeshanyi;shitangliqinglvbeisuiliedeciershengxiangheluchenhaobuyanshideyanqi——“nipidoubuchoule,
haiyoushenmeyisi?”;zuihou,shitiantaishang,chenchenneizhangbeiyuanhencheditunshidelian,hetatuixiangwoshi,
zhijianchuanlaide、binglengde、daizhehuimiekuaiyideliliang……hanyicongjiaodibanzhichongtianlinggai。bu!
juebuzhongdaofuzhe!qiushengdebennengxiangyigugaoyadianliu,shunjianjichuanlesizhibaihaidemamu。
womengdixileyikouqi,binglengdekongqiguanrufeifu,dailaiyizhencitong,
queyeqijibandiyaxialehoulongkoudexingtianheweilidefanjiangdaohai。dongzuobixukuai!
yaoganzaineisheng“jinglei”zhaxiangzhiqian!wodeyoushoujihushipingzhejiroujiyi,
shandianbantanjinlefangzaituishangdefanbushubaocedai。zhijianjiqiedizailimianmosuo,lveguokebenbingliangdeyingjiao,
chupengdaoyaochichuandejinshubingleng,zhongyu,
jingzhundibuzhuodaoleneigeshuxide、daizhemoshazhigandezhangfangti——wodeshouji!
xinzangzaixiongqianglifengkuangdichongzhuang,meiyicibodongdouchenzhongdiqiaojizheermo。
woshenzhinengqingxiditingdaozijixueyebenliushifachudewengming。zhijianyinweiyonglierweiweifabai,
daizhexiweidezhandou,feikuaidihuaguobinglengdepingmu。meiyoushijiansikao,meiyoushijianyouyu!
shangyishizhuilouqiandezuihouhuihenshishenme?shikongkouwuping!shichenchenneizhangdiandaoheibai、chuchukeliandezuilian!
zhiwenjiesuochenggongdeqingweizhendongchuanlai,woshenzhimeikanqingzhupingmushangdetubiao,youshoumuzhijiupingjiebenneng,
henhenchuoxiangneigeshuxidelvseluyintubiao!diankai!pingmushangdaibiaoluyinzhuangtaidehongsexiaoyuandianshunjianliangqi,
weiruodeguangmangzaizhangxinyishanershi,xiangyiketiaodongdexinzang,yexiangyidixinghongdexuezhu。chengle!
jiuzaihongsexiaoyuandianliangqideshunjian,fangfoshiweileyinzhengwoneilaizidiyudejiyi,
woganggangwanchengde、guzhuyizhide“maifu”——“bu——wu——lululu……”yishengjiqichenmen、houzhong,
fangfobeihouzhongdeshimianbeiwuzhu、youzaixiazhaikongjianliyunniangfajiaolexujiudeyixiang,
mengdicongchenchenneigefangxiangbaofachulai!neishengyinbingbushifenjianrui,
quedaizheyizhongguguaide、lingrenxinjidedichenchuantouli,shunjiansilielejiaoshiliyuanbenyonglanercuimiandefenwei。
tagengxiangshishenmedongxizainizhaoshenchujuewangdifangunzhengzhahou,
zhongyupokaishuimianfachude、daizhenongyufajiaoqixideaiming。jinsuiqihoude,
shiyigujiqibadao、jijuqinlvexingdeqiwei。taxiangyiguwuxingdechongjibo,manhengdikuosankailai,
shunjianchongchilezhenggeqianpaiquyu。
、suanfu、haidaizheyisiguiyide、geyejiucaihezizaimenresuliaodailiwusoulede、lingrenzuooudeyouhalawei。
zheiqiweishirucituwuernonglie,yizhiyuqianpaijigezhenghunhunyushuidetongxuemengdijingxing,
xiayishidizhoujinlebizi,lianshangshunjianluchulehunzazhezhenjing、mangranheshenglixingbushidefuzabiaoqing。siji。
yizhongbigangcaijiangkeshideanjinggengjiachenzhong、gengjiazhanchoudesiji,zhouranjianglin。fangfoliankongqidoutingzhileliudong,
beineigunanyiyanyudeqiweiheshengyindongjiele。jiangtaishang,
laojiaoshouneijujiangdaoyibande“suoyizheigehanshudedaoshu……”yingshengshengkazailehoulongli。
tawozhefenbideshoutingzaibankong,zuibaweizhang,lianshangneifuhouzhongdelaohuajingsihudouhualuoleyidiandian,
jingpianhouneishuanglvedaihunzhuodeyanjingli,chongmanlenanyizhixindeeranheyizhongbeidaduansiludemangranwucuo。
shijianxiangshibeianxialezantingjian,ningguzaizheipianlingrenzhixide、chongmanyiweidejijingli。
meiyizhangliandoudinggezaijingehuoqiangrendebiaoqingshang。ranhou,yigeshengyin,
daizheyizhongqiyide、fangfofaxianxishizhenbaobandexingfen,qingxidi、tuwudi、chuantoulezheipiansiji,
congjiaoshizuihoupaidejiaoluolixiangqi。“aiyou!goudidao!”neishengyinbugao,
quexiangyiketourupingjinghumiandeshizi,shunjianjisuileninggudekongqi,jiqileyiquanyouyiquanwushengdelianyi。
suoyourendemuguang,xiangbeiwuxingdexianqianyinzhe,“shua”diyixia,qishuashuadi、daizhejingyihetanjiu,
xunzheshengyindelaiyuanmengdizhuanxiangjiaoshihoufangneigejiaoluo。shita!luchen!taxiekaozaiyibeishang,
zitaiyonglanersuiyi,fangfozheijiaoshililingrenzhixideyiqiedouyutawuguan。
wuhoudeyangguangqiahaotouguotashenhoudegaochuang,zaitalunkuofenmingdecelianshangtouxiayidaojinsedeguangyun,
jiangtayouyuedemeigu、tingzhidebilianghexiantiaoqingxidexiahegoulederutongdiaosu。
jishishizaizheizhongguiyide、chongmanyiweideqingjingxia,taneizhanglianyijiuhaokandejijuqinlvexing,
daizheyizhongcongxiaobeiyouwohuanjingjinrunchulaide、shenrugusuidejuaohemanbujingxin。cike,
taneishuangzongshidaizhedianshulihewanweidetaohuayan,queliangdejingren。bushiduizheshuben,
yebushiduizhemougepiaoliangnvsheng,ershichuantouleqianpaizandongderentouhemimandeyiwei,
jingzhundi、laolaodisuodingzaichenchenneiyinweixiuchihejingjuerjuliezhandoudebeiyingshang。neiyanshenli,
chongmanle**luode、haobuyanshidejingqihe……yizhongjinhushouliebandexingqu。boerhaokandechunjiao,
shenzhihaixiangshanggouqileyigejidan、quezuyirangwushunvshengxintiaojiasudehudu。neiyanshen,neixiaoyi,
xiangcuiledudebingzhen,henhenzhajinwodeyanli,cigudehanyishunjianmanyanzhisizhibaihai。jiushizheigeyanshen!
shangyishi,jiushizheigeyanshen,kaiqilechenchenziyiweishide“huiguniangtonghua”,
yezuizhongjiangwotuixiangletiantaibianyuandeshenyuan!luchenneishengdaizheqiyizanxude“didao”,xiangyigendianrandeyinxin,
shunjianyinbaoleyayidejiaoshi。sijibeidapo,
querdaizhideshiciqibifu、zaiyeyayibuzhudechixiaoshenghekeyiyadideyilunshenglang。
“pu…haha…wodetian!”“tingjianmei?‘didao’!lushaozheipinwei…juele!”“ai,weiergouchongdea,
zhongwuchishalezheishi?”“jiucaihezipeiliulian?fajiaosantianneizhong?”“xiaoshengdian!luchenhaizaikanni…buguo,
zhengou‘didao’de,haha…”meiyigezi,meiyijudiyu,douxiangdaizhedaocidebianzi,
henhenchouzaichenchenshenshang。tazhenggerenjuliedidouleyixia,fangfobeiwuxingdedianliujizhong。neizhangbiedetonghongdelian,
shunjiantunjinlexuese,biandecanbairuzhi,lianzuichundoushiquleyanse,zhishengxiaxiximimideyachiyinhen。
tasisididizhetou,jihuyaobazhengzhanglianmaijintankaidekebenli,henbudedangchangwagedidongzuanjinqu。
luzaiwaimiandeerduojianhongdejihuyaodichuxuelai,bojingshangdeqingjindouyinweijidudexiuchihejinbengertulechulai。
anzaiduzishangdeshou,zhijieyinweiyonglierzuandefabai,zhijiashenshenqianjinzhangxin。
taxiangyizhibeiboguanglepimaodiuzaibingtianxuedilidetuzi,ruoxiao、wuzhu,
chengshouzhesimianbafangtoulaide、daizhechaonongheeyidemuguangbianta。raner,
jiuzaizheipianjihujiangtayanmeidechaoxiaoshengzhong,yidaoshenyingdaizheqiangdade、burongzhiyideqichang,fenkairenqun,
jingzhichaozhefengbaozhongxinzoulai。luchen。tamaibudezitaicongrongbupo,fangfottaishangdemote,
youxiangshixunshizijilingdidenianqingjunwang。angguideqiuxiecaizaijiaoshideshuimoshidimianshang,
fachuqingxierfuyoujiezoudedudusheng,meiyibudouxiangtazaisuoyourendexintiaoshang。
zhouweitoulaidegezhongfuzamuguang——zhenjingde、xianmude、bujiede、jidude——neishuangliangdejingrendetaohuayan,
zishizhizhongzhilaolaosuodingzheneigehenbudesuochengyituandechenchen。tazhongyuzoudaolechenchendezuoweipang,tingxiajiaobu。
gaodadeshenyingtouxiadeyinying,jiangsesefadoudechenchenwanquanlongzhaoqizhong。jiaoshilisuoyoudeqiexiaoheyilun,
zaizheiyikechedixiaoshile。zhishengxiayizhongpingxide、jinzhangde、daizhenanyizhixindejijing。
suoyourendoudengdaleyanjing,xinzangtidaolesangziyan,buzhidaozheiweiyitiaotihenanyizhuomozhuchengdejingquantaiziye,
xiayibuhuizuochushenmejingshihaisudejudong。luchenweiweiqingshen,chunjiaoneimowanweidehudujiashenle。
tashenchuleshou。neizhishou,gujiefenming,ganjingxiuzhang,yikanjiushiyangzunchuyoudeshou。cike,
tameiyouqunachenchenzhuoshangderenhedongxi,yemeiyouzhixiangbiechu,ershidaizheyizhongburongkangjudeqiangshi,
zhijiechuanguochenchenyinweijinzhangerweiweizhandoudeshoubei,
yibazuanzhulechenchensisianzaiduzishangde、neizhibinglianghanshideshouwan!chenchenmengdiyizhan,xiangshibeiluotietangdao,
xiayishidixiangchouhuishou,quebeiluchengengyonglidizuanjinle。
luchenwushilechenchendezhengzhahezhouweidaoxilengqideshengyin,shoubeiyongli,yiyizhongjinhuxuangaosuoyouquandezitai,
jiangchenchenzhenggerencongneigehenbudezuanjinqudezuoweililaleqilai。chenchenliangqiangleyixia,beipozhanzhi。
tayijiudizhetou,shentijiangyingdexiangkuaimutou,zhiyoubeiluchenzuanzhedeshouwanzaiweiweifadou,
xieluzhetaneixindejingtaohailang。“pashenme?”luchendeshengyinbugao,queqingxidichuanbianlejijingdejiaoshi,
daizheyizhongqiyideanfuheburongzhiyidekending。taweiweicetou,muguangsaoguozhouweiyizhangzhangdaizhidelian,
zuizhongluohuichenchencanbaidecelianshang,bochunqingqi,yiziyiju,zhidiyousheng:“wojiuaizheiweier。”hong!
zheijuhuarutongpingdijinglei,zaijijingdejiaoshilihongranzhakai,
xianqilebigangcaineishengmenxianghecibiqiweigengjiaqiangliedejingshenfengbao!“**!!!”“wotingdaoleshenme?
luchenta…tashuotaai…aineiweier?!”“fengle!jueduishifengle!zheishijietaimohuanle!”“chenchen?
jiuneigefang…fangneigedechenchen?luchenkanshangtale?jiuyinwei…nei…neige‘didao’?”“wodemaya,
zheishenmeshenzhankai!xiaoshuodoubuganzheimexie!”“lushao…kouweizhendute…”“dute?zheitamashilieqiba!
”wushudaomuguang,jingede、nanyizhixinde、jidudefakuangde、chuncuikanrenaobuxianshidade,
xiangwushujuguangdeng,qishuashuadijujiaozaifengbaozhongxindelianggerenshenshang。chenchenbeiluchenzuanzheshouwan,
beipobaoluzaizheipianciyandemuguanghongliuzhong,shentidoudegenglihaile。raner,neicanbaidelianshang,
chulejizhidexiuchi,jingyidiandian、yidiandiandi,
fuqileyicengnanyizhixinde、shouchongruojingde、jinhuxuhuandehongyun。tadetousuiranhaidizhe,danyanjiaodeyuguang,
quetoutoudi、daizheyisiyinmidekuangxiheshitan,feikuaidipiaoleyiyanshenpanggaodatingba、fangfozaifaguangdeluchen。
luchenganshoudaotademuguang,feidanmeiyousongkai,fanerjiangneizhihanshideshouwanzuandegengjinlexie。tahuanshiquanchang,
muguangdaizheyizhongtianshengdejuaohexuangao,fangfozaishuo:kanqingchule,zheiren,guiwole。jiangtaishang,
laojiaoshouzhongyucongzheiyilianchuandechongjizhongmianqiangzhaohuileyidianshenzhi。tafulefuhuadaobijiandelaohuajing,
houjiejiannandigundongleyixia,shituzhongxinjianqibeichedidaduandesiluhezuoweijiaoshideweiyan。
“ke…keke…anjing!douanjingdian!”tayongliqingleqingsangzi,shengyindaizheyisibuyichajuedeshayahewunai,
“neige…houpaidetongxue…zhuyiyingxiang!womenjixushangke,zheigedaoshudejiheyiyizaiyu…”raner,
tacanglaodeshengyinhenkuaijiubeiyanmeizaizhongxinxiangqide、gengjiaxiongyongdeqieqiesiyuheyayibuzhudejingtanshengzhong。
shuxuedeyanjinyulixing,zaizheiyike,
beiyigehuangdanliqide“pi”heyijujingshihaisude“wojiuaizheiweier”,chedijidefensui。
luchenlazhechenchen,zaiwushumuguangdexilizhong,pangruowurendihuidaolehoupaishuyutadeneigejiaoluo。
chenchenxianggetixianmuou,yibuyiqu,jiaobuxufu,lianshangneimobuzhengchangdehongyunqueyuelaiyueshen,yandishenchu,
yizhongmingwei“yibudengtian”dekuangxiheyunxuanganzhengzaifengkuangzizhang。wozuozaizijidezuoweishang,
shentibengdexiangyikuaishitou。fanbubaofangzaituishangdeweizhi,buliaoxia,shoujipingmuyijiuliangzhe,
neigexiaoxiaodehongseluyinyuandian,zhengwushengdi、wendingdishanshuozhe,xiangyigechenmodejianzhengzhe,
zhongshidijiluzhezheihuangdanjudekaichang。zhangxinyinweiyongliwozheshoujibianyuan,zaoyibeiluochushenshendeyinhen,
chuanlaizhenzhenduntong。lengyanpangguanzhechenchenbeiluchenlazoushineifuyunyunhuhu、fangfocaizaiyunduandeyangzi,
yiguqiangliede、hunzazheexinhebinglengdechaofengganzaiwoweilifanjiao。chunhuo。
tazaiweizheituruqilaide、niuqude“qinglai”erkuangxi,yiweipanshanglegaozhi,taruleyunduan。shubuzhi,
tajiaoxiacaizhede,genbenbushishenmeqingyunlu,ershiluchenyonglieqihewuliaodajiande、yichujisuidebolizhanqiao。
neisuoweide“ai”,cuiruoderutongyangguangxiadefeizaopao,tadehexin,
jinjinshineidianbierenbizhiweikongbujide、daizhejiucaihezisouweide“didao”bale。
yidanneidian“didao”xiaoshile……wochuixiayan,zhangzhangdejiemaoyangaizhuyandifanyongdehanyi。shangyishidejiaoxun,
xuelinlindikezailinghunshenchu。zheiyici,wojuebuhuizaidichuneihegaisideyishengjun,
juebuhuizaizuoneigebeifanyaoyikoude“nongfu”!raner,mingyunsihuzongaikaixieedudewanxiao。huozheshuo,
youxienieyuan,biwukebi。jitianhoudeyigebangwan,tianyinchenchende,kongqimenderangrenchuanbuguoqi。
wobaozhegangcongtushuguanjielaidejibenhouhoudezhuanyeshu,
zhengcongcongchuanguosushelouneitiaoguangxianhunan、duifangzhebushaozawudezoulang。shuhenchen,ledeshouzhishengteng,
wodizhetou,zhixiangkuaidianhuidaozijideqinshi。jiuzaiwokuaiyaozoudaoqinshimenkoushi,
pangbianneishanshuyuchenchenhelingyigeshiyoudeqinshimen,“zhiya”yishengbeimengdilakaile。
yigunongliedaojihuningchengshizhidejiaolvhefanzaoqixipumianerlai,
haijiazazheyidian……ruoyouruowude、shuxide、lingrenbuandeqiwei。wojiaobuyidun,xiayishiditaiyankanqu。
chenchenjiuzhanzaimenkou,beiduizhewo。tachuanzhezhoubabadeshuiyi,toufalingluandexiangniaowo,
yizhishousisidianzheduzi,shentiweiweiqianqing,sihuzairenshouzhejudadetongku。tadejianbangjinbengzhe,
zhenggerensanfachuyigubinlinbengkuidediqiya。qinshilimeikaideng,hunandeguangxianxia,
tadebeiyingxiandeyichangyayihebaozao。“made…zenmeyou…!”tadishengzhoumaleyiju,shengyinsiya,
daizheyizhongzoutouwuludejuewanghekuangzao。tafanzaodizhualezhuatoufa,ranhoumengdizhuanguoshen,
sihuxiangchonghuiqinshihuozhequcesuo。zheiyizhuanshen,zhenghaoyuwosimuxiangdui。zoulanghunandeguangxianluozaitalianshang。
woxintoumengdiyichen。neizhanglian,bijitianqianzaijiaoshilishigengjiaqiaocui,yanxiashinongzhongdeqingheise,
zuichunganlieqipi,quanguyinweixiaoshouerweiweituqi,lianjiaquedaizheyizhongbingtaidehongyun。
zuiciyandeshitaetoushangneicengximidelenghan,zaihunanguangxianxiafanshezheweiruode、lingrenxinjideyouguang。
tazhenggerenxiangyigenbengjindaojixian、suishihuiduanliedexian。takandaowo,
neishuangbumanhongxuesideyanjinglixianshishanguoyisicubujifangdeeran,suiji,xiangbeidianrandekucaodui,
tengdiyixia,ranqilexiongxiongdexiufenheyizhongjinhuniuqudenankan!fangfotacikezuilangbei、zuibukandeyimian,
beizuibugaikandaoderenzhuangpole。“kanshenmekan?!”tajihushitiaojianfanshebandilishengdihou,
shengyinjianruicier,daizhemingxiandegongjixingheselineirendeyanshi。
 
                 因为一个屁,室友要杀我
                                因为一个屁,室友要杀我