zhujiaojiaoyeziqingshenshaotingdexiaoshuojiao《cuohunjiaoqichongshangyin》，benxiaoshuodezuozheshilanguoersuobianxiedehaomenzongcaileixiaoshuo，neirongzhuyaojiangshu：yeziqingtaxiangyaobaozhuhaizi，nanrenquebutongyi。zhunbeidaiqiutaopao，quebeidaigezhengzhe，tabeinanrenduzaijiaoluoli；“xiangyaoliuzhuhaizi，jiuhewojiehun，liangnianyihoulihun，biepengwo，qianshoudoubuxing。”yeziqingfanbaiyan。qianshou？xiangdemei！sheizhi，hunhou，nanrenpapadalian；“laopo，nihaipa，jinwanyiqishui。””wobuhaipa。“”wozuomengle，mengjiannishuozijihaipa，xianghewoyiqishui。”yeziqing；“shenshaoting，yaodianlian！”mouzhilang；“lianshishenme？”...
shizaibuxing，tajiuxianchuquduoyiduanshijian，suiranbushishenmehaobanfa，queshicishiweiyiyouyongdebanfa。
erbabamamazheiduanshijianyezhenghaohuilexiangxiadelaojia，jibianshenshaotingzhaoguolai，zanshiyemeiyounengweixiedaotadechouma。
xiangdaozheili，tengtongyuliedenaodaizhongyuyoulexiehaozhuan，yeziqingcongchuangshangpaqilai，xunsushoushizhexinglixiang。
meiyoushijianle，tayaogankuailikaizheili，zaizheizhiqianbixuhaiyaozaiquyitangxuexiao，jiaodaihaoqimokaoshideshiyi。
piankehou，talazhexinglixiangchumen，xiangzhexuexiaoerqu……
shenlianjuelanyangyangdedazhehaqian，shenzhelanyao，yitaitoubianduishanggangcongfangjianzhongzouchulaidedage：“dage，nixianzaishiqugongsima？”
xiuzhangdedashouzhenglizhetiehuiselingdai，shenshaotingmouguangweitai：“youshi？”
“mazuotianwanshanghuilaile，rangwohegezaoshangxianhuijiayitang。”
“en，xianhuijia，ranhouzairangsijisongniquxuexiao……”naguoxizhuangwaitaochuanhao，siyouxiangdaoshenme，shenshaotingzhoumeiwendao：“shenmeshihouqimokaoshi？”
wenyan，shenlianjueqingkeyisheng，rushihuida：“mingtian。”
“准备得怎么样？”
“haikeyi，yinggaibuhuizaikaodaoshu。”shenlianjuemolemobizi。
manyidediantou，shenshaotingqinghengyisheng，qizhongdaizhemingxiandejinggaoyiwei：“ruguozuobudao，nihuilaijiwoshishi！”
dagewanquanbushizaikaiwanxiao，zheiciruguozaikaodaoshu，zhendehuifeichangcan！
shenlianjuelianmangbaozheng：“ge，wozheicizhengqubaituodaoshu，xiangqianyiluzhixing。”
shensuideyanmouweiweiyidong，shenshaotingzhuangsimanbujingxindekaikoudao：“yelaoshijinnianduodale？”
youxieyihuo，shenlianjuehaishidao：“ershisisui。”
tayijingnaqiwenjiandeshouweidun，suijinaqidayi，haiyouchajishangdecheyaochi。
ershisisui，nianlingdequebuda，bitaxiaoleliusui……
“zenme？womenyelaoshishibushihennianqingyouwei？”shenlianjueyangyangdeyidexuanyaozhe。
shenshaotingqueshiliankandoumeiyoukanyiyan，zhangtuiyimai，jibubiankuachulexuanguan。
yizhuanshen，shenlianjuezhejidegenleshangqu：“ge，nidengdengwo，yiqizou！”
buguopiankegongfu，heiseluhuyijingtingzaileshenjiabieshuwai，liangrenyiqianyihouzoujinketing。
“en，nishishenmeshihoudingdehun，zenmedoumeiyoujiwohenigeshuoyisheng，hao，wozhidaole，neinimenlushangzhuyianquan。”
sulanzhengzaijiedianhua，kandaolianggeerzizoujinlai，guaduanledianhua，zuijiaodaizhexiqingdexiaorong。
“ma，wogugudinghunle？shenmeshihoudeshi？”
shenlianjueyilianzhenjing，muguangxiaoxinyiyidesaoguoshenpangdedage，tayouxiebuganqukandagedeshense。
shenshaotingqueshijiangzhidezhengzaiyuandi，yingtingdelianpanghuianbuming，chunxianminzhi，yanmouzhonggengshibotaoxiongyong，niezhewenjiandedashoushoubeiyouxieqingjinbaoqi……
“qianliangtiandingdehun。”sulanzhoumei，huazhongyouxiebumanhechize：“doushiyijiaren，liandinghundoubushuoyisheng，zhenshi！”
“ma，guguhaishuoleshenmemeiyou？”shenlianjuetantingzhe，gugunandaojiumeiyoutidaodage？
sulandiantou：“shuole，zaiguoliangtian，tajiuhuidaizheweihunfuyiqihuilai。”
dashouzaiyiciniejinwenjian，danshenshaotingshensequeyihuifuruchang，dayipiaodong，renyiranxiangqianzouqu。
“shaoting，niqunali？”sulanjindingzhetadebeiying，nandaotahaimeiyouwangleshenyuqing？
dunxiajiaobu，tazhuanshen，shuangmeiwangshangyiyang：“weishengjian。”
zixiguanchazhetadeshense，sulansuihouyoudao：“nigugurangwojinidaijuhua，shuoniyebuxiaole，yeshishihoudingxiale。”
shenshaotingshensepingjing，kanbuchuqizhongdezhenzhengqingxu，bochunqingxian：“ma，woxianquweishengjian。”
zhangtuicaiyimaijinweishengjian，tayiquanbianzazaixishoutaidedalishishang，mouzibinglengfengli，chaofenglengxiao。
shenyuqing，nidaoguozhenshihaoyangde！
yijingyouxieyuqingdedashounachushouji，shenshaotingxuzheneimobinglengdexiao，anchuneichuanzaoyishujiyuxindehaoma，bodaguoqu。
“duibuqi，nisuobodadedianhuazhengzaitonghuazhong，qingshaohouzaibo……”
正在通话中？
yanmoumiqi，shenshaotingsuishoujiujiangshoujirengzaileyipangdexishoutaishang，ranhouyizaiqiangbishangdianleyigenyan，shenshendixilejikou。
yancaozaihoujianfanfuliaorao，yizhidaoshentouwuzangliufu。
tayouzenhuibuzhitashiguyiguaduandianhua，erbingfeizhengzaitonghua！
congxizhuangkudekoudaizhonglaochuyimeijingzhierdianyadezuanjie，tasaoleyiyan，ranhou，tudiyiyang，jingshibaneimeizuanjierengjinlelajitong！
zuanjiezajinlajitongzhongmeiyouyisishengyin，jiuxiangtacishidejunmeibolanbujing，yilianpingjing。
shenyuqingjishiyizuodaozheiban，bianzuihaobuyaozaichuxianzaiwomianqian，fouze，dingrannongsini……
jiuxiangshishenmeshidoumeiyoufashengguo，tazouchuleweishengjian。
sulanyangzhexiao：“shaoting，shizhangdeqianjinyijinghuiguole，wojianguojici，youjiaoyang，erqieyoumeidexiangduohuaerside，nimingtianchouchudianshijianqujianyimian，ranhoujiubazheimenhunshijidingle。”
shenshaotingfanyuezhewenjian，meiyoutaitou，zhishidao：“mingtianhaiyouyigezhongdahuiyiyaokai，meishijian。”
“niwaigongwaipoyedoujianguoshizhangdeqianjin，zongzhishishifenmanyi，shijianbudoushijichulaide，nimingtianchoukongqujianyixia，ranhoujiudinghun。”
sulanjingzianpaizhe，xiaodao。
“haiyou，niwaigongyeshuole，ruguonibuqu，neijiubangzheniqu，zheimenhunshiyijingdingtieban，tazaiguoliangtianjiuguolai，qinzijiejuenidehunshi，nizhidao，niwaigongxianglaishuoyibuer，zhiyaotarendingdeshi，sheidoumeizhe，nihaishizuohaozhunbeiba，niyidinghun，zaijiashangnigugubujiujiujiehun，neikeshishuangxilinmen……”
zaitingdaozuihouliangjuhua，shenshaotingyanmouzhonganchaofanyong，fanbaidegujiebaoluletadeqingxu……
＊
hexiaozhangshuoguoyihou，yeziqingzhongyusongleyikouqi，tahaiyouxiepaxiaozhanghuibudaying，danxingkuishihao！
suiranxiaozhangyouxiequyanfushi，queyetongqingdali，zheifangmianhaishitingbucuode……
lazhexinglixiang，tajijimangmangdejiuxiangzhexuexiaowaizouqu，kemeizouliangbu，quebeililaoshijilanzhulequlu。
“yelaoshizheimejijimangmangdeshiquna？”
“huilaojia。”yeziqingsuibianchelegehuang，xiangqianzouleliangbu，youbeililaoshijilazhulegebo：“yelaoshi，wojinijieshaolegeduixiang，zheihuierzhenghaoqujianyimianba。”
“lijie，wodehuochepiaodoumaihaole，zheihuierzhengganshijianni，burandengwoconglaojiahuilaizaishuo。”tatuici，huojihuoliaodexianglikai。
妻子酒后越界，下场比鬼还惨
作者：天天走上
栏目：都市
zuozhe：wowudilehaizinuligen
栏目：都市
zuozhe：xiangzuobaifumeidexiaoniu
栏目：都市
假装穷小子体验生活，校花女友当众羞辱我，我摊牌了。
zuozhe：choumingzhaozhudemingzhengnvdi
栏目：都市
作者：木千
栏目：都市
一屋子亲戚逼我交出抚恤金，说我是个废物不配用
作者：加勒比海怪
栏目：都市
