remenxiaoshuo《chuanshuozhongdekulouzhuzaijuranfuhuole》shitiaowangyibaqingxinchuangzuodeyibendoushishenghuofenggedexiaoshuo，zheibenxiaoshuodezhujiaoshisuranlinyujing，wenzhongdeaiqinggushiqimeierchunjie，wenbijijia，shilituijian。xiaoshuojingcaiduanluoshidu：shubuzhidangyongwanzheixiejinenghou，diyuquanhebainianyouhunquandoujinrulexuruozhuangtai，wanquanbufuzhiqiandequanshengzhuangtai，weimizhiji。youhunyanzhengzhengdikanzhejiguangshedaozijishenshang，wanquanmeiyoufankangzhili，guangrongdewanchenglezijideshiming，guale。...
henkuai，fangxueshijiandaole。
“wei，mingtiandeqimoceyan……”linyujingqingqingdepenglexiasurandegebo，“youxinxinmei？”
“你说呢？”
suranzhanmeiyixiao，henyangguang。
“故弄玄虚！”
linyujingguzuoshengqi，duqizuibagangyaojixushuoxiaqu，zhijianhoumiandeyizhishoushenleguolai，zhuailezhuaisurandexiaofu。
houmianzuozhedeshilianggenvsheng，xinggedadalieliedeliuyinahexiaohuahansiying。liuyinadehuopoxinggeshiquanxiaoyoumingde，jianzheyitoushishangdewenlitang，didideliuhai，liangcedexiufaduandaozhedangbuzhutaneiduixiaoqiaodeerchui，jiaohaoderongyanbushifendai，yishenxiaofuzhezhuangdetasanfachunianqing、jiankang、bujuxiaojiezhimei。
zaiguanyouce，rangrenweizhiyiliangdeshineipiaoyideluoxuantangfa，wufengzidongsideyuefazhangxianfazhiderourenyudanxing，juanjuandefasirangxiaohuahansiyinggaoyadeqizhichentuodelinlijinzhi，xixideliumeixiayishuangdanfengqingcherutanshui，qiongbiyingchundedianzhuigengshirutongjinshangtianhuaside，jiangxiaohuahansiyingdemeizhanxiandaolejizhi。
cishidesurannaohaizhongturanxiangqileyishoushi：jiangnaneryuechun，dongfengzhuanlvping。buzhisheijiazi，kanhuataolijin。baixueningqiongmao，mingzhudianjiangchun。xingrenxianxijia，zhengniluochuanshen。
zheishiyigeduomemeiderener！
jiulianshenshangdexiaofudoudidangbuzhutaneishendudeyouyaheneihuaguideqizhi！suranantanyisheng，xunsuhuifuzhuangtai：“liangwei，youshima？”
“hei，sushuaige，”liuyinawangqianyishenzi，duizhesuranshuodao：“mingtiankaoshiduozhaoguzhaogu！gaitianwoqingnichifan！”
“得了吧！”
suranjiazhuangyizhoumeitou，“nacidoushigaitianqingke，naciyemei。”
“zhei……zheibushiyusuanhuachaoleme？”liuyinabuyiburaodeshuodao：“xiaciwoyidingqingni！e，dabulewozaijinjinkuyaodai，lianlinpangeryiqiqingle！”
linyujingyitinglinpanger，dunshibuganle：“haonigenvhanzi！haijiaorenjiawaihao！daoshihouwoguyidangzhusudashuidejuanzi，kannizenmechao！”
“别别别！”
liuyinadunshiqiurao：“nvshen，nishinvshen！jiunineishenkuantipangdeshencaiyidangkejiushadoukanbudaole，worenshurenshu！”
linyujingdunshisaodelianhongle，lianlianyaotou：“caibushini！renjiahansiyingcaishinvshenni！nvhanziniyouzhaoshile！”
zheishizuozaiyipangyizhibuzuoshengdehansiyingyefahuale：“surantongxue，jinwanwogonghuiyourenwu，shunbianbangwobazuoyezuole，zheigexingqitianwoqingnimen。”
nvshenhansiyingdeshengyingenqingchedequanshuiside，juanjuanxiliuqueyetouzhedianburongkangju。
“ye！”liuyinayitingzheihua，yanjingdunshishanliang：“youcengshangnvshendekele！wahaha，woyaodachiyidunzaijianfeiyigexingqi！”
“nimenliao。”hansiyingwuyudeyifuetou，qishenlikai。
“aiaiai，dakuannvshen，meinvdengdengwo！”
liuyinayikanhansiyingzhenyaozou，jile，huluanshoushileyixiakebenzuoye，saijinshubaojiuzhuileguoqu：“cengcengche，shengshengtui，heihei！”
这俩人……
suranhaoxiaodeyaoleyaotou，mobuzuosheng，naguohansiyingdezuoyezhuangdaoleshubaoli。buguoyoudianyiwenmeiyouwenchulai：gonghuishishenme？gongsi？
“biewanglequlaodifang，”linyujingnandedeyansuqilai：“woyouyaoshigaosuni，guanyunidebing。”
我的病？
“neijiubuyongqule。”suranshuanglangyixiao，yipailiangjiedeyachizhanluchulai：“yujing，buyongzheimeshangxin，wozijidebingzijiyoushu，meiyouyongle。guohaodangxiawojiuzhizule，ganxieyounimenzheixiepengyoubuxianqiwo。”
“你必须要去！”
linyujingtouyicizheigebiaoqing，rouruodeshengyinlitouzheyansueryouzhengzhong：“duinizhenyouhaochu！bale，xianzaijiugenwozouba！”
linyujingyijizhixiashenshouyulasuran，beisuranbuzhehenjideshankaile，suranzhidao，zheigeshihoudetananengjilinyujingnaoshangfeiwen。
“啊！”
linyujingshunjianfanyingleguolai，naoleyigedahonglian：“woxianqudengni，buzhunbulai，xianzou、zoule！”
shuowan，linyujingdizhetouzhuazheshubaojijizouchulejiaoshi。
suranbuyouyaotouyixiao，zheiyatou。tashenchuyoushoujiangzhuodonglideyangshentangjixiaoxindenalechulai，dakaifanghumohoufangdaozuibianyiyinerjin。surunqingliangdeyetizhitongfeifu，shushuangdeganjueshunjiandidadanao，shenjingchuanlaizhenzhenxingfenhexinkuaigan，rangtabujinzhangshuyikouqi，haotang！
suranyoutiaobuwendeshoushiwankezhuo，gangyaoqishen，zhijianqianzhuowangdazhuangchoushidemuguangyizhisaoshizhesuran，edudehuayugangyaoshuochukou。
“mingtiandekaoshijinichao。”surandandandeduiwangdazhuangshuolexia，jiuzhanqileshenzi。
“sushuaigemanzou！waimianfengda，zhuyishenti！”wangdazhuanglimaxixiaoyankai，beigongquqideshanshenzoudaosuranmianqian，xunsubangsuranlakaishenhoudedengzi，haibuwangshenxiyikouqi：“wa，sushuaigeshenshangdexiangweiyourujiutianzhishangdexianqi，taotaobujue！ke、shubaotaizhong，wolaina！”
suranhaoxiaodekanzhewangmazibeizijishenshangdeshiqidingdekelexia，haiyiliandeyinqinzhuang，xiaodao：“buyong，shubaoeryi，youshouhainadedong，zoule，mingtianwohuibangnide。”
“lushangtaihua，sudashenyiluzouhao！”wangdazhuangxingfendezhicuoshouzhang，heheshaxiao。
haoduotongxuedoukanzhesuranyibubuzouchujiaoshi，xianmueryoujidu，xuexishangdesurangaogaozaishang，cicidejibudiyi，wuyiliwai！
julixuexiaobuyuande‘yuanlairucikafeidian’hewangchangyiyangdehuobao，zheilidegejuhebiededianmiandoubutong，meiyougonggongdating，limianquanshierrendanjian，yimianmiandegeduanzudangzhulemoshengrenzhijiandegangayubushi，qinglvjiandeaimeifenweibeinongyudekafeixiangnonggenghaodehongtuolechulai。
“zheilizhenbushiwogailaidedifang。”surangangadedizhetou，yonglimaijinle‘yuanlairucikafeidian’。
yuanlairuci？yuan？zheigeziwoderenshengzidianliyouma？
呵。
suranyaoyaotou，buzaiduoxiang，nuobujinle‘520’haodanjian。
“sudashui，nilaile！”
linyujingxinxidezhanqileshenzi，kuaibuzoudaolesuranneili：“wojiuzhidaonibuhuifangwogezide。lai，zuozheili。”
linyujingrouroudejiangsuranfudaozhangdengdezuilimian，yebuhuidaosurandeduimian，jiuzheimeluoluodafangdezuozailesurandepangbian，yanjingmichengleyueyazhuang：“ha，zheiyangwomenyouchengtongzhuole！”
suranxinzanghenhentiaodongleliangxia，tayanshidelvedixiatoukanzhezhuomian，duilinyujingqingqingdeshuo：“yujing，nibuyinggaizheiyangde，wodeqingkuangnidouzhi……”
“dedede，sudaluosuo！”linyujingyongliyaoyaopangpangdenaodai，saibugudeyuanyuande：“woxihuanzenyangjiuzenyang，nisudacaiziguanbuzhe！heng！”
“nishigehaonvhai……”
“haorenka？buxihan！”linyujingguqiyongqi，zhanghongzheliandandashengshuo：“woshigeputongzhijidepangnvhai，woyeyouxuanzexihuandequanli，nibunengyemeiyouquanlijiuzheimemoshalewoduinidehaogan！”
linyujingmengdiyihuitou，jiangsurandenaodainiudaoletaduimian，liangrenmianduizhemian。
“看着我。”
“bienao。”suranyanshenduoshanzhe。
“huidawogewenti，”linyujingxiaole，zheiyichanei，tajiuxiangdianranleqingchun，bujieryouhuore：“womenliangdeyanjingsheidehaokan？”
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
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作者：安诺汉森
栏目：都市
我只会说实话，老婆求我快闭嘴
作者：方方爱吃番茄
栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
栏目：都市
我给死人化妆的亲身经历
作者：八旬老贼
栏目：都市
江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
栏目：都市
