《di1zhangshexiemunv》shiyibudadongrenxindezuopin，jiangshulelinyangqinyanranzaimianduishenghuokaoyanshidechengzhangyujianren。linyangqinyanranjinglilexuduojiannandejuezehekunjing，dantongguojianchiheyongqi，zuizhongzhaodaozijizhenzhengdejiazhiherenshengyiyi。zheibuxiaoshuochongmanwenqingyuzhihui，“shide！”linyanghuaixiaodao。“heng！”qinmononglenghengyisheng，niuguotouqu，budalilinyang。buguoqinmononghaishihenqingxing，linyanggangcaibingmeiyouchusheng……jiangyinfaduzheduirenshengdesikaoheganwu。
linyanghunmilehenjiu，zuoleyigeguangguailulidemeng，tamengranzhengkaiyanjing，yishidiertianzaoshang。
takandaomianqianzuozheyigebaifalaotou，heleyitiao。
“haizi，bubijinghuang，woyijingzhihaolenideyanjinghesuoyoudeshang。”
laotouyiliancixiangheaideshuodao。
linyangqiaoqiaoqialezijiyixia，henteng，taquedingzheidequebushizaizuomeng，danyishijiannaozilihaishiluanzaozaode。
“womingbujiuyi，zhishengxiazheizuihouyikouqile，linsiqiannengyounizheimeyigechuanren，yesuanxinwei。”
laotouduilinyangzhaolezhaoshoudao：“niguixiaketoubaishiweishizaiyunixishuo。
linyangmeiyouchiyi，ganjinketoubaishi，jiaoleyishengshifu。
laotoutaishoumolemolinyangdenaodai，yilianxinweidao：“haohaizi！niqiezuohao，jiexialaiweishisuoshuodeshi，niyaorenzhenting，jizaixinli，qiewugaosutaren。”
linyangshuqierduo，zuozailaotoushenbian，renzhenlingting，
laotoushuo，tashiganniannanyudezhongtongzhe，zhiyinbeigeleyanjiaomo，daozhiwufajuexingzhongtongyineng。
linyangzhidaozijishenglaiyanjingbianyubierenbuyiyang，zhengchangrenyizhiyanjingzhiyouyigetongkong，ertaquetianshengshuangtong。
congxiaodaoda，tadoubeizhouweiderenshiweibuxiang，shangxueshibeitongxuemenchengzuoyaoguai，zhiyoufumucongweixianqiguota。
jiezhelaotoubazijideshenfen，lailidougaosulelinyangjiaodaiwanhoushi，turanshouzhichuozhonglinyangdemeixin，chaneijianyouwushuxinxiyongrunaohaizhong。
laotouzijiangbishengsuoxue，jinshuchuanshoujilinyang，zuihounaodaiyidala，keranzhangshi，shentihuazuofeihui。
“shifu，nindesuyuandizihuitininwancheng，nindedachou，diziyehuibuxiyiqietininbao。”
zheigejinyouyimianzhiyuandeshifu，jilelinyangyicixinsheng，ruzaishengfumu，enzhongrushan，linyangduitawanbanganjihejingzhong。
linyangdakaishifulinzhongqianjiaojitadebaibaonang，quchuyikezhenguidexiantianhunyuandanfuxia，shentidunshichuxianbianhua。
tashenshangdeshangbakaishituoluo，maokongzhongpaichuheisedezazhi，congneierwaijinglizheyichangxili，rutongtuotaihuangu。
zheikexiantianhunyuandannengxisuifamao，rangtakuaguohoutianjingjie，zhiruxiantian。
zuizhongyaodeshi，tajuexinglezhongtongyineng，erqiesuizhexiuweitisheng，zhongtongyinengdeqianlihuibuduanjifa，danshengzhongzhongxuanmiaoshentong，lihaiwubi。
“qinmonong，qinran，nimenzheiduiwangenfuyideshexiemunv。nimenzuomengdouxiangbudaowoyinhuodefu，dananbusiba！”
“woyaorangnimenweizijidesuozuosuowei，fuchudaijia！”
linyangwanchengxisuifamao，zhangwolezhongtongdechubuyinengnenggenjuxinyiyinzangzijidezhongtong，fouzewanyibeishihuoderenfaxian，pashiyaozhijiewatadeyanjing。
taanzhaoshifudeyiyuan，baguhuisaruhezhong，ranhouzhibenqinjiaerqu。
tayijingpobujidaiyaoquzhaoqinjiamunvbaochouxuechile！
linyangzongshenyiyue，fanjinqinjiabieshudedahuayuan，yikaimen，biankandaolebukesiyideyimu。
qinmonongbantangzaishafashang，shoulinazheyibenshuzaifankanzhe。
zuiranglinyangyixiangbudaodeshi，qinmonongshenwucunlv，wanmeihuobaodeshenti，yilanwuyudezhanxianzaitademianqian。
napatashenwucunlv，yebingbuxiandeyansu，fanerrutongjingxindiaokedeyijianyishupin，quxianrouheeryouya，sanfazhedutedemeili，lingrenrenbuzhuhuichenlun。
qinmonongsuiranshengguohaizi，danshencaiyijiubaochidejihao，zaijiashanggezhongbaoyang，kanshangqugenershiduosuiyiyang。qinmonongcengjingdezaoyuyehencan，shiwusuideshihou，beiyigedarenwuqiangxingbazhan，shengxialeqinyanran。
houlaitadaizhenvertaochuledarenwudezhangkong，cailaidaoluocheng。
linyangsuiranershiduosuile，danhaishigehuozhenjiashidetongziji，nalijianguorucixiangyandechangmian，yishuangyanzhuzidoukuaitulechulai。
咕隆！
linyangqingbuzijindeyanleyikoukoushui！
sheinengxiangdao，yixianggaoguiyouyadeqinmonong，juranruci**，zaijialilianyifudou**，nandaoshijuedeyiwuhuishufulezijizheiwanmeideshencai？
linyangbingbuzhidao，taxiayanzheiliangnian，qinmonongmunvdouyouzheiteshupihao，zaijialibuxihuanchuanyifu。
fanzhengjialichuleyigebaomu，bianzhiyouyigexiazi，munverrenziranwusuoguji。
qinmonongkandaolinyanghuilai，jingyadao：“nijuranmeisi？”
“womeisi，niyidinghenshiwangba？”
linyangyaoyaqiechi，chaozheqinheinongzouqu，danyanjingqueshizhongshebudecongqinmonongdeshenshangnuokaibanfen，tineixueyefeiteng。
qinmonongwanquanmeiyoufaxianlinyangshuangmuyijingfuming，mianlumiese。
“woruoxiangshani，nihuobuchengjintian。
“neiwoshibushiyaoganxienidebushazhien？”
linyangyeledejixuzhuangxiazi，rucimeijing，zuyirangzhenggeluochengdenanrenfafeng。
ertaquenengsiwujidandexinshang，heleerbuweini？
qinmonongkanzheshu，genbenbuxieyutaiyankanyiyanlinyanglenglengdao：“gunhuinidegouwoqudaizhe，biezaiwomianqianzhanzhe。”
linyangzuitaoyanqinmonongzheizhongtaidu，mingmingshitaenjiangchoubao，tunlelinjiacaichan，haiyifuqiaobuqita，batadanggoukandaideyangzi。
啪！
linyangyibajiangqinmonongshoulideshudafei。
“wobushiniyangdegou！qinmononghuoranqishen，xuebaideshuangfengqingzhan。"nifengle？！”
qinmonongzhizhedixiashilenghedao：“gun！likecongwoyanqianxiaoshi！”
linyangqiazhuqinmonongdebozi，jiangtaanzaishafashang。
“qinmonong，wogaosuni，congjintianqi，wobuzaishirennimenqirudefeiwu！”
“zheiliangnian，nimenduiwosuoyoudeqiru，wodouhuiyiyibaofu！”
qinmonongshijianguoshimian，jingliguodafengdalangdenvqiangren，suiyouxiecuobujifangdehuangluan，danbingmeiyoubaxiayandelinyangfangzaiyanli。
“nixiangzenmebaofu？shalewoma？wodunimeiyouzheigedanliang！”
qinmonongshengqilingren，fandaoshaqitengtengdeweixielinyang。
“banidezangshounakai，ranhouguixiaketou，banicaizangdedibanjiwoyicuncundetianganjing，fouzewoshaleni！”
qinmonongzhizhangxingyaojituan，zaigongsishuoyibuer，yangchuleyishenfengmangbiludeqichang，yibanrenzaitamianqian，toudoubugantai。
qinyanrandiaomanbahu，tianbupadibupa，duiqinmonongyeshifenweiju。
linjiahaimeibailuoqian，linyangduiqinmonong，tongyangxinhuaiweiju，zaitamianqianbuganfangsi。
buguorujindelinyang，yijingshixiantianjingdewudaozongshiqinmonongqishizaiqiang，yeyabuzhutale！
“shaleni，taibianyinile。kuangqie，nishiwozhiqianjingweideren，wozenmehuishani？”
linyangcishitineixiehuoluancuan，turanjianyougedadanqiefengkuangdeniantouyongxian。
qinmonongbuxiedao：“buganshawo，nandaonixiang**wo？kexiao！linhaoxuanzenmeyoulenizheimegefeiwuerzi！”
“niyiweiwobuganma？！”linyangsiyazhesangzishuodao。
qinmonongqueshichixiaoyisheng，chaofengdao：“jiusuanniganniyouzheigenenglima？yanranzaojiubanidafeile！”
“nixianzaibujinshigexiazi，haishigetaijian，nizheibeizidoupengbulenvren，zhinengdanggewonangfei！”
“wozuihoushuoyici，mashangjiwogun，fouzeniyebuyongjixudanggouyiyanghuozhele，wohuirangnisidehennankan。”
qinmonongzheihuajuebushikoutouweixie，shuoshuoeryi。
tanengyibubuzoudaojintian，chengweiluochengzuiyoumingdemeinvqiyejia，kaodeshicongming，nengliyijihenla！
linyangbenjiuxieniancongsheng，qinmonongzheiyijujudefengcihexiuru，chedirangtadenuhuohexiehuoyiqibaofa，yanmeilelizhi。
“qinmonong，shinibiwode！woxianzaijiuxiangnizhengmingwodaodishibushinanren！”
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
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栏目：都市
我只会说实话，老婆求我快闭嘴
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栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
栏目：都市
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栏目：都市
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栏目：都市
