wanjiexiaoshuo《dinghunyishi，weihunxianyun》youfangcunshanqingxinchuangzuodeyibendoushishenghuoleixingdexiaoshuo，benxiaoshuodezhujiaoxiaozhansumuqiu，qingjieyinrenrusheng，feichangtuijian。zhuyaojiangdeshi：wunianqianhanyuanruyu，wunianhouzhanshenguilai，quechengleshangmennvxu，chaojinaiba！xiangyaoshenme？jinguanshuo！qizihenverduishiyiyan：“laogong，woxiangyaogeerzi。”“baba，woxiangyaogedidi。”xiaozhan：“wo……nuli！”...
di5zhangshanliangdengchang，langcainvmao
酒店大堂。
sumuqiuyijiasankoufuyichuxian，likejiuchenglesuoyourenguanzhudejiaodian，yidaodaomuguangtousheerlai，youtongqing，youwanxi，gengduodezeshixingzailehuo。
guanyuxiaozhandegerenxinxi，suwenchaoyijingqiaoqiaosanbochuqu。
suoyi，laidezheixiebinke，xinlidouhenqingchu，jijianghesumuqiudingqinde，jiujingshiyigeshenmeyangdenanren。
kejishizheiyang，tamenhaishifenfenshangqianzhuhe。
“gongxiasulaoyezi。”
“suxiaojietianziguose，xiaoxianshengshaonianyingcai，tamenlianggenengzoudaoyiqi，jianzhishitianzuozhihe。”
睁着眼睛说瞎话！
sujiadelaoyezisubingtianzuozaizhuzhuoshouwei，chuanzheyishenjingzhidetangzhuang，shoulizhuzheyigelongtouguaizhang，dimeiqianxiao，bunuziwei。
“爸，人到了。”
sujianguolaidaosubingtianshenhou，wanyaofuer，xiaoshengshuodao：“keyikaishile。”
“嗯。”
subingtianzhanqishen，taishouyiyang，yuanbenrenaodedatangdunshianjingxialai，tadashengxiaodao：“jintianshiwosunnvsumuqiudedinghunyishi，zhuweinengshanglianqianlai，shiwoderongxing。”
“zhuweiyedouzhidao，wozheigesunnvbujinzhangxiangmaositianxian，erqieyewunenglihenqiang，shigebukeduodedeshangyerencai，suoyi，jitatiaoxuanfuxudeshihou，wotebieshenzhong……”
“zuizhong，congjishiweihouxuanrenzhizhong，yigemingjiaoxiaozhandexiaohuozituoyingerchu，xiwangcongjinwanghou，tanengshandaimuqiu，xiaoliangkouhehemeimei，zaoshengguizi。”
piaolianghua，shuodeyitaoyitaode，buzhiqingderenhaiyiwei，subingtianzhendetisumuqiuzhexiang，jitazhaoleyigejiyuanliangpei，mofanzhangfu。
台下掌声一片。
erzheixiezhangshengluozaisumuqiudeerduoli，querugengzaihou，rumangzaibei，fangfodazaitalianshangdebazhangyiyang，xinlishuobuchudebiequ、nanshou。
taiqitou，kanxiangchunfengmanmiandesubingtian，sumuqiubeichiyaozhezhuchun，xianxieyaochuxuelai。
真是个好爷爷啊！
congxiaodaoda，subingtianduisuwenchaobaibanchongai，duitaquebuxieyigu，zhiyintashigenvershen，chizaoyaojiazuorenfu，bunengtisujiachuandixianghuo。
youqishiwunianqian，taweihunchannv，lianleisujiachengweilezhenggequanchengdexiaobing，ruobushikansujianchengyijiakelian，subingtianzaojiubatamensaodichumenle。
“老不死的！”
liuhongxiunubukee，anmayisheng，xiangzhanchulaitisumuqiushuojuhua，quebeisujianchenglanxia，chaotayaoleyaotou，jinhuaiqiudemuguang，shiyitabuyaohulai。
“窝囊废！”
liuhongxiuyaoyaoya，haishirenzhule。
“zhuwei，qingwangzheibiankan。”
jiuzaizheishi，zhanzaisubingtianshenhoudesujianguopobujidaideshenshouzhixiangjiudianhoumen，dashengdao：“jiexialai，youqingneigexingyundexiaohuozi，shanliangdengchang！”
zheiyike，zhongyuyaolaile！
anzhongmouhualejiangjinlianggeyue，sujianguoweiyidemude，jiushiyaorangsumuqiuhouyuanqihuo，zuzhitazaisushijituandefazhan。
jiajiyigeqiangjianfan，baolikuang，wanghouhainengyoushenmehaoriziguo？
hainengyoushenmexinsishangban？
yixiangdaosumuqiudebeicanxiachang，sujianguojiugaoxingdehebulongzui。
咔！
zaisuoyourenqidaidemuguangzhong，jiudianhoumenhuanhuandakai，xiaozhanhuailibaozhesuxiaomeng，dabuzoulejinlai。
yishunjian，neixiebinkemudengkoudai。
下巴掉了一地。
怎么回事？
juranbaozhegexiaohaizijinlaile？
youxierenyiyanrenchulesuxiaomengdeshenfen，likeqieqiesiyuqilai，kanxiangxiaozhandemuguangzhizhong，duochuyisijingpei，xinshuonixiaozixinga，xidangdieyejiusuanle，jingganzhudongbazheigexiaoyezhongbaojinlai，haixiandiurendiudebugoudama？
敬你是条汉子！
sujianchengheliuhongxiubalianniuxiangyibian，qiaoqiaodemoyanlei，burenqukan，sumuqiuquemeiyoutaobi，juewangdemuguangzhijietouxiangjiudianhoumen。
taxiangkankan，zijidezhangfujiujingshigeshenmeyangdenanren！
“萌萌？！”
zhikanyiyan，sumuqiudunshiliansejubian，tuokoujinghuyisheng，ranhoubuguanbugu，xiayishichaoxiaozhanchongleguoqu。
“妈妈！”
suxiaomengdaxi，zhangkaihuaibaoyingxiangsumuqiu。
sumuqiubasuxiaomengcongxiaozhanhuailijieguoqu，jinjinlouzhe，piankehoucaikanxiangxiaozhan，wendao：“ni……nijiushixiaozhan？mengmengzenmehuigennizaiyiqi？”
“zailouxiaganghaopengjian。”
xiaozhandiantouyixiao，dingzhesumuqiuxikanjiyan，suihoushenchushou：“suxiaojienihao，shiwo，wanghouhaiqingduoduoguanzhao。”
shuoshihua，xiaozhanyouxiejinzhang。
yiqianzaibudui，jishimianduidirendeqianjunwanma，qianglindanyu，xiaozhandouconglaimeiyoujinzhangguo，erxianzai，mianduiyigeshouwufujizhilidenvren，tajuranjinzhangle。
说不出的那种紧张。
ruguobeibuduilineixielangzaizimenzhidaole，kongpahuijingdiaoxiaba。
“你好。”
sumuqiulimaoxingdeyingleyisheng，quewanquanmeiyouyaohexiaozhanwoshoudeyisi，fanerhoutuijibu，duixiaozhanshifenjingti。
萧战很尴尬。
suxiaomengturanzhizhexiaozhanshuodao：“mama，zheigeshushukelihaile，tashuo，tarenshiwodebaba，gangcaitiwojiaoxunleneixieqifuwodexiaohuaidan，haishuoyaotiwojiaoxunneigexiangdangwobabadedahuaidan。”
“咦？大坏蛋呢？”
suxiaomengpushanzheyanjingchaozhouweixunshiyiquan。
sumuqiubuyouyizheng，kanxiangxiaozhandemuguangzhongduochuyisijingyi：nishuo，nirenshimengmengdebaba？pianguini？woshimengmengdemama，lianwodoubuzhidaotadebabashisheihaoma？
“……”
zheixia，xiaozhangengjiagangale，jiakeyisheng，bikaisumuqiudemuguang，xiaodao：“xiaomeng，woshishoulenibabadezhutuo，zhuanmenguolaibaohunihemamade，congjinwanghou，shushujiushinideaoteman。”
“啊？”
suxiaomenglengdao：“xiangdangwobabadeneigedahuaidan，jiushini？”
“叔叔坏吗？”
“坏倒是不坏……”
suxiaomengxianglexiang，yaotoudao：“keshi，wodebabashigechaojiwudidayingxiong，nima，dingduosuangechaojiwudixiaoyingxiong，zhiyaonibudangwodebaba，wojiubujiaonidahuaidan。”
萧战醉了。
zaizijideqinshengnvermianqian，juranbeilingyigezijijidabaile。
zhouweideneixiebinke，bixiaozhangengzui。
rucixijuxingdeyimu，chuhulesuoyourendeyuliao，kao，jubenhaoxiangbushizheimexiedea，shuohaodexianhuachazainiufenshangni？shuohaodejianbanuzhangni？
xiaozhanhesumuqiumunvzhanzaiyiqi，kanqilailangcainvmao，jingranyouxiebanpei，haowuweihegan。
拜托！
womenshilaicourenao、kanxiaohuade，bushilaikannimenyijiasankouxiuenai、sagouliangde，mafannimendidiaoyidian、qicanyidian，jiwomenyigelengchaorefengdejihuihaoma？
做人，不能太自私！
“怎么回事？”
subingtianjianmeidaoshu，tongyangyouxieyiwai。
“这……”
sujianguoxiaorongjiangzailianshang，mangdao：“zheixiaozishigecongmingren，hushuobadao，mingxianshitoushujiqi，xiangjiezhexiaomengtaohaomuqiu，ba，nifangxin，womashangrangwenchaochuochuantadeguiji！”
shuozhe，chaoduimiandesuwenchaodilegeyanse。
啪！啪啪！
suwenchaodunshixinlingshenhui，turanpaishouguzhang，zhanqishenchaoxiaozhanzouleguoqu，lengxiaodao：“bukuishiyeyekanzhongdesunnvxu，meifuguorandadu，mingzhidaotangmeiyiqianbeibiedenanrenzaojianguo，yougesishengnv，bujinbujiqianxian，erqieshirujichu，yaobaohutamenmunv，wozheigezuotanggede，zikuiburu……”
shengyinhenda，chuanbianlezhenggejiudiandatang。
作者：池鱼小月
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我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
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江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
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