《dingjidaihuozhaofeng》shisuancainiuroudanchaofanchuangzuodeyibudoushishenghuoxiaoshuo。gushiweiraozhezhaofengwuhaizhankai，jieshiletamenzhijiancuozongfuzadeguanxihebukesiyidemaoxianjingli。zheibuxiaoshuojikourenxinxianyouchongmanjingxi，lingduzhenanyiwanghuai。zuotianjiedaoshiliuzilaobandedianhua，yaojitazhangqian，tingshuozheijianshihou，dangwantajiuqujiubadianlegeshenlongtao。……。
zhaofengdebiaoqingshunjianbianle。
heisuanrukoudeshunjian，bansuizheruannuoxiangtiankougandetongshi，yigujiqinongyudasuanweishunjianzhanfang，zhichongtadetianlinggai，qizhonghaiyoufajiaoguohoudeechou。
gezhongfuzadeweidaocengcengjiaozhi，xianghudiejiazhixia，zhaofengdebiaoqingguanlishunjianshikong，weiyezhibuzhushangyong。
“呕~~~”
“zheizhongkouganxiangliziyiyang，tebietian，ou~~”
“真的！呕~~”
“womeipiandajia，ou~~~”
“xiangtianruannuo......”
guanjianshike，zhaofengkemeiyouwangji，huyouzheibangyuanzhongfensicaishizijibenzhigongzuo。
taqiangrenzheexin，yibianjixujieshaozheheisuandekougan。
guanzhongjianci，jieshiyizhenwuyu。
zheizhubopabushizaibatamendangshaziba，doutamenwan？
“zhubolizhiyidian，zhuanqianmeinizheimezhuande，zheiwanyimingxiannanchideyaosi，zhenjiuyingpian？”zhongyuyouyiweiwangyoukanbuguoqule，renbuzhufachuleyitiaodanmu。
naihezhaofengyagenjiudangmeikanjianyiyang，haizaijixujieshao。
“zhende，dajia，qingnimenxiangxinwo！”
“这玩意真好吃！”
“zhiqianneixiedongxidoushicipin，wochengren，danshizheicibuyiyang，zheiwanyikeshibaojianpin，duixinnaoxueguan，haiyouaizheng，juyouzhejiqiqiangdadegongxiao。”
“zhibojianneidoushiwodejiaren，woshibuhuikenghaijiarende......”
kanzhezhaofenghaizaizhibojianneixuxutaotaogebuting，guanzhongmenlianpangshangjiroukongzhibuzhuchoudongleqilai。
俏丽哇！
meiyongdeshihoujiaoyuanzhong，youyongdeshihoujiaojiaren，zhenjiuyidianlianbuyaobei？
zhendangtamenguanzhongmeipiqi？
cishibupen，gengdaiheshi？
键来！！！
......
jihushizaizhaofenghuayingangluo。
zhibojiandegongpingshunjianfeitengle。
“qiaoliwa，zhubo，nishizhentemebuyaodalian，yongjinlamanzhiliangbuguan，zheishinishuodehuaba，nizenmehaiyoulianjiaolaozijiaren？”
“mafannishuohaochideshihou，xianbazuilideheisuanwangxiayanyiyan，ganjiaobuyana！”
“haojiahuo，wozhihuhaojiahuo！”
“yaowokan，zhuboyejiuzheidianshuipingle，kuilaozihaiduiniyoudianqidai，bijingmeirenganxiangnizheimeshuozhenhuadezhubo，xianzaikanlai，nitemeyeshiyipaogoushi！”
“chelechele，bukanle，shenmelaji，jiuzheihaixiangdaihuo，liuzhejinimachiba！”
弹幕一条接着一条。
zhaofengjiangguanzhongmenxinzhongsuoxiangjinshouyandi，yanjiaorenbuzhuchouchulejixia，anzhaozheizhongxingshixiaqu，zijidezhiboshengyapashiyaolianga。
这怎么能行？
绝对不行！
tahaizhiwangzhezheiwanyizhuanqianni。
dangji，zhaofengjuedingyaofangdazhaole。
xiangzuojiuzuo，dangzhezhibojianneiyiqianduorendemianshang，tabiaoqingyinu，zhuaqimianqiandeheisuan，mengdeshuaizailezhuozishang。
砰......
shengzhuangyouheisuandeguanziyingshengbaosui，heisuanfeidedaochudoushi。
“doutemejilaozibizui！”
“叫什么叫？”
“laozijiaonimenyuanzhongyoucuole？”
turuqilaidebiangu，zhibojianneiguanzhongquanbudouhedaile。
bieshuoshixinjinguanzhongshoubule，jiulianlaoguanzhongdoubeizhaofengzheiyishouheleyidatiao。
raner，zheizhibuguoshizhaofengdekaishi。
jinjiezhe，tabianjiangmaotouduizhunchangjia，xianchangkaishikuangpenleqilai。
“shuohaolebaozhangzhubodeliyi，sanshijiukuaijiusanguanheisuan，yongjincaijilaoziwukuaiqian！”
“nimentemejiushizheimejilaozibaozhengde？”
“zheimenanchidedongxi，jiujilaoziwukuaiqian，goushidoubizheihaochi！”
“不卖了！”
“老子不卖了！”
“谁爱卖谁卖！”
shuozhe，dangzhezhibojianguanzhongdemian，zhaofengjiangmianqiansuoyoudeheisuanquanbushoujiqilai，baokuodiaoluozaidishangle，quanbujianqilai，fangzaiyidui，zhuangzaiyigesuliaodailimian，niutoujiuwangweishengjianzou。
观众们全部都懵了。
ruguotamenganggangmeitingcuodehua，zhuboyinggaishibachangjiadoujipenle！？
......
zhibojianjingmolejimiaozhihou。
霎时间。
整个房间彻底炸了。
wushudanmudajunchuxian，fengkuangzhanjulezhenggegongping。
keyiqingchudekandao，shangmiandedanmudabufendoushijingtandebiaoqing，suiranjinjinzhiyoujiandandelianggezi，kequewanmeidechenshuchutamenneixindezhenjing。
“wonima，ganggangzhuboshibaheisuanchangjiajiduilema？”
“womeikancuoba，zhendejiade！”
“loushangde，wohenquedingnimeikancuo，zheigezhuboshigehenren，bijile，tazhenganduia，zhenjiuyihoubuzhunbeidaihuolebei！”
“momingyouxiegandongshizenmehuishi，zhubozhishijiaowomenyuanzhong，danshitaqueganshuoshihua，machangjiadechanpingoushiburu，xiangbiqilai，zhuboguoranduiwomenyoudaai！”
chenzhedajiafengkuangpinglundeshihou，zhaofengyoushounazheshouji，zuoshoulinzheheisuan，yijingtuikaileweishengjiandedamen。
zhongyu，dajiazhuyidaoletadexingwei，fenfenduiqijiexialaidexingdongyouxiebujie。
gaobudongzhaofengdaodixiangyaozuoshenme。
yigegezhinengdengdawugudeshuangyan，anjingkanzhe，jiuganggangzhaofengfennudechengdu，tamenxinzhongyugan，zheiyibozhubojueduiwanbodade。
zheiliyoujianshibijiaozhideyiti。
tamenzheilimianhenduoren，huolebanbeizidoumeijinguowuxingjijiudiandeweishengjian，zheixiasuanshigenzhezhaofengzhanglejianshi。
haibieshuo，wuxingjijiudiandecesuoshida，dengguangyeliang，matonghaishizhinengde，zuozaizheililashiyidinghenshufu。
等等......
智能马桶！！？
zhubo，nidakaimatongyaozuoshenme？
zhibojiandeguanzhongmenbeizhaofengzheijieerliansandesaocaozuogaodeyijingshimantouwushui。
lianxiangzhiqianzhaofengshuohuadehuayijixianzaidexingwei，tamenxinzhongmomingchanshengleyigedadandexiangfa。
zhubogaibuhuishixiang...baheisuanchongjinmatong......
“......”
尼玛！
zheitemedeshiduoxiaoxinyancainengganchulaideshier？
guanzhongmenbeizhaofengdexingweigaodaoxintaibaozha，tamenhaishitouyicitingshuo，zhubobachangjiademaipinwangmatonglidaode，zheizhongxingweiwuyiyuduanrencailua。
youjuhuashuodehao，duanrencailusharenfumu。
zhaofengzheizhongxingweiyijingbianxiangdezaihuidiaoyigechanpin，jiuhaoxiangbiaoming，zheizhongshipinzhipeidaojinmatongchongdiao，genbenbupeichijinzuili。
jiuqiyuanyin，jingranzhishiyinweihuopinmaibuchuqu，yongjinjidetaishao！
yishizhijian，zhibojianwushuguanzhongsanguanzhenjingdaowuyulunbi，dagenizheimewanquedingbuhuibeidasi？
tamenxinzhongrenbuzhuxiangyaowenzhaofengzheiyangyijuhua，tongshi，duiyuzhaofengzhiqianqianglietuijiandeheisuan，neixinmomingchanshengnongnongdehaoqizhiyi。
zheiwanyi...zhende......gulu......
这么难吃？
yixieguanzhongxiayishitunyanlekoutuomo。
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