lingyixiaoshuo《doushihuhuabaobiao》，caiyongjincoudexushifengge，jiangshulezhujiaojinruilanjingyijinglideyixilieliqishijian。zuozhejinyuanbaobenzunyunyongkongbuhexuanyiyuansu，jiangduzhedairuleyigeguiyierlingrenmaogusongrandeshijie。zheibenshujueduishixiyinlingyixiaoshuoaihaozhedejiazuo。jinruiyeshiyukuwulei，yaoyaotoushuodao：“niwenwo，wowenshei，zhenshi…，xiaoyatouhuipaonaerqule？”wangjiahuahuobaopiqi……
0019wojixunianshujiushi
gangcailanlisuiranbizheyanmeikandaohunhunmendecanxiang，danneixiecanjiaoaihaoqingchuchuanruernei，youderenzaijiaozijideyanjingxiale，youdezaihanzijidejiaoduanle。
“meishi，biedanxin，gejifenzhongjiuhuilai。”
lanlizheicaisongkaijinruideshou：“ge，nikuaidian，wopadehen！”
jinruihuidaotanbian，shangdeqingdelianggehunhunzhengzaishoushicanju。
yanzhuzimeiledehunhunxueliumanlian，yigejingdekuhao，tongdezaihetanshangdagun。
jianlejinruiguolai，huangmaozhangkaixuelinlindezuiba，yachidiaoleyiban，shuohuajiuxiangpoqiqiu：“data！dasita！”
jigehunhungengshinuhuochongtian，jianqishitouchongzhejinruichongguolai。
jinruiyiyanbufa，fanshenyigehuixuanti，dunshijiujiangzuiqianmianneirenchuaifeijimiyuan。
genzheyouzhanghengqie，zhengzhongqizhongyigebojing，hengdoumeihengyisheng，bianzidaodiyunsiguoqu。
qitajigemianluhairan，suiranshihunhun，danmeiyoubupaside。
danjianjinruizheibanxiongcanbaonve，qishizaojiuaileyitou，xianghuchouchou，youyubujue。
jinruikemeijizheibangrenjihui，yijiaoyigefangfanzaidi，quandouyunsi，meiyigexingde，zuihouliuxiahuangmao。
jigeshouxiabeijinruiqingsongshoushi，zaihuangmaoyanli，yanqianzheigeheiheidenanjiuxiangshiniutoumamianbankongbu。
raoshiduladetaiyanggaozhao，zijiqueshihedeyaguandazhan，zhanlibuzhi。
“ge，ge，dage，biedawo，biedawo，wocuole，wocuole！”
jinruilenglengshuodao：“gangbushishuozheilihuangshanyeling，shalewodoumeirenzhidaoma？”
“shalenimenjizhimayi，yemeirenzhidaoba！”
啪的下。
huangmaozhitingtingdeguizaihetanluanshishang，xiangzhixiaogousidejijinruizuoyigaorao：“bieshawo，bieshawo，qiuni，dage，qiuni…wojiniketou，jiniketou…”
bianketou，biankuzhehuihenaiqiu：“ge，wolaopogangshenglehaizi，womayegangshenglexiaodi，nishalewo，jialijiumeirenzhaogule！”
“dagenijiubawodanggepijifangle，qiuniledage！”
jinruiyibazhangshanguoqu，youdadiaohuangmaoliangkeyachi：“jitiaolanming，shanimenzanggedeshou，qu，baqitajigeyifudoutuole！”
huangmaorumengdashe，renzhejutong，anzhaojinruifenfu，bajixiongdiyifutuodejingguang。
“nijiyelaozituole。”
meijixia，yihuorenquandouguangchajingguang，shangshiqingdebuhaoyisiwuzhuziji，sihuhaiyoudianhaixiu。
jinruidianlebahuojiangyifushaolegeganjing，suoyoushoujiquandourengheli，zijinazhegeposhoujibayiqunchoutaibaichudehunhunluxialai。
huangmaoniuniunieniehaibukenpeihe，beijinruiyigexiaoshitoudashouli，shunjianjiuruanlexiaqu，zaitaibuqilai。
zhizhehuangmaoshuodao：“jintiangexinqinghao，raonimenjigebusi，bierangwozaikanjiannimen，jianyicidayici！”
musongzhejinruikaichezouren，huangmaojigeyifahan，ganjinpaoguoqu，fengqiangzhehaimeishaowandeyifu。
yanjingxialeyizhidehunhunhaidesongyiyuan，qitajigebeidaduanshoujiaodeyedemashangsongyiyuan。
zaizheihuangshanyeling，meileshouji，meilexie，liugeguangchahunhunzenmechudequ？
dengdaojigerenfeijingqianxinwankuhuidaofangchededifang，dingyanyiqiao，sigechelundoubeijinruijichuopo。
jigerendunshiganjuetiandoutale，yukuwulei，huihennandang。
jinruikaichehuidaoshili，xiansonglanlihuijia，lanlixiaoxiaoshengshengwenjinruineixiehunhunzenmele？
jinruimanbuzaihushuo：“meisi，mingtiankanxinwen！”
diertianxinwenchulai，hongdongquanguo。
huoniaowang：“shishangzuicanbaodajie，cunlvbuliu！”
qietuisong：“liunanzhoumoyeyongzaojie，zaoshenminanzibaodabaguang！”
souhuzhongbang：“huangshanyelingjingxianliuguonan，sirensongyijijiu，shizhangyifenershimiao！”
toutiaoxinwen：“liunanyeyingbeijie，chishenguangchakuaojinbagexiaoshizhonghuojiu！yisiwaixingrensuowei。”
duanzishou：“zheishiyigebeishangdegushi，dasitamenyebushuoshisheigande！jingchashushuyebiaoshiaimonengzhu。”
duanwangye：“liugenanrenzaojiebeibaguangchongfenshuomingleyigedaoli，neijiushichumenzaiwai，yidingyaoduodaijishenyifu。”
liugehunhundasiyebuganxiangjiarenpengyouhejingchashushujiaodaizheishidezhenzhengyuanyin，shuochuqujuqinglimashenzhuanzhe，zijiyichoubainianjuebipaobule！
lanlikandaozheixinwendeshihou，zuzudaizhileshijimiao，zhangkaidexiaozuidounengsaigexiaoedan。
fanlaifuqukanlesuoyoupinglun，xiaodegezhigezhidezhibuqiyao，turanjianxiaoyatouxiedoubuhuandachedaolejinruijiali。
jiandaojinruideyike，xiaoyatouerhuabushuo，gaogaoyueqitiaojinjinruihuaili，diaozhejinruibozi，wuyanshuodao：“ge，nihaolebuqi，nizhenniu！”
dengkanwanxinwen，jinruizhishiheheyixiao，paipaixiaoyatounaodai：“zheisuanshiqingde，yaoshitiaojianyunxu，gebatamensongfeizhouyulinzuoyeren，buchuyinianjiubianxingxing！”
“哥…你…好坏！”
“怎么了！”
wangzhemanlianxiuhongxiangpingguodelanli，jinruixiaoshuo：“neijiusongnanjirangtameniqukaihuang。”“bushizheigela！”
lanliyixiazizhengtuojinrui，yubohongtou，bizheyanjing，turanjiaodao：“genitaihuai，taoyan！”
jinruimengdisilesheng，xiangdangdeganga！
太丢人了！
jiongpowubidejinruiganjinzhuanguoshen，dieshengshuozheduibuqi。
xinlianxiangxiaoyatoutainianren，wushiwukebuzaiyoudaogezouxiangfanzuideshenyuan，yihoubunengzaizheimesuiyi，buranbudingnatianjiukongzhibuzhu。
yatouhaixiao，bunengzuoshengkou，dengta…daxuebiye…ng，ershisuiba，ershisui！
lanlijiaoxiuwubi，duzhezuixiaoluluanzhuang，chougegemeicidouzheiyang。
wuziliqifenyouxieganga，guolehaoyihuicaihuifuzhengchang。
xiaoyatouduijinruishuoqileguanyunianshudeshi，qishilanliniannasuodaxuedouwusuowei，zhiyaoyoujinruizaishenbianjiuxing。
nazhepingbancengzhewang，bajisuozhongdiandaxuedeqingkuangjijinruikanlebantian，pangqiaocejibuduanshuozijiyigerenbuxiangpaoneimeyuan。
“neijixuzaichuandabujiuwanle。”
lanliyulianqingbian，dishengshuo：“tamendoushuoshiwohaisilewotongxue…wozenmehainengniandexiaqu。”
jinruixianglexiang，yemeigezhuyi：“neizaban？woganghuiguoyemeijigepengyou，yaoshinizaiwaiguonianshu，wodaoshinengjiaorenbangzhezhaoguni。”
lanlitingle，zhenshouxiaonaodaichuidegengdile，youyoushuodao：“fanzhengchuandawoshibuqule，woyebuxiangpaoneimeyuan，dabulebunianshujingongsishangban。”
“buxing。nicaishibasuibudao，shadoubuhui，biewanglenihaigentayuedinglesannianhoujianchang，daoshihouyigechangrengjinidali，niguanbuguolaizenmeban？”
lanligengjiakunao，naikexiezaidishangcalaicaqu：“neijiubujianle，fanzhengdoumeirenguanxinwo。”
jinruidezhishangjuegao，danquedeshiqingshang，duiyuqingshangzheiwanyi，jinruihaizhendeshiqiqiaozhitongleliuqiao。
banzhelianshuodao：“buxing，bixuyaonianshu，wojinishuoalili，zhiyouhaohaonianshujianglaicaihuiyouchuxi，cainengshouzhunibabamamadegongsi。”
“wanyinatiangebuzaile，nijiudekaoziji…”
lanlidunshizhanqilaichongzhejinruijiaodao：“shenmenibuzai，ge，nibieluanshuoxingbu？nibuzailewozenmeban？woshi**mei，nibuzaile，sheizhaoguwo…”
shuozheshuozhe，lanlijingrankuchusheng，aiwanlianliankanzhejinrui：“nishiwoge，yibeizidege，wobawocongsirenshanlibeichulai，beilezhengzhengshiwuxiaoshi，wodemingdoushinide，niyaobuzaile，woshangnaerzaizhaoniqu…”
yuekuyuedasheng，yuekuyuexinsuan，jinruiyizhengandong，anweihaolanli。
lanlichouqizheshuo：“fanzhengniyaoshizaiganshuonibuzaidehua，wojiusijini，fanzhengwoyeshizaogaisile，mingyeshinide，siyejisijini！”
jinruiyoubeihezhele，gaojushuangshou：“busi，busi！”
“yaowoqunianshu，wo…qujiushi，dan…danshi…nibixuyaopeiwoqu！”
“nibupeiwo，wonaerdoubuqu。nikanzheban！”
jinruizheicaimingbaiguolai，yuanlaixiaoyatoutudeshiwoa！
yebushuohua，lazhexiaoyatoulailai**shangshangxiaxiaguanglexiaoyuanziyiquan，qingshengshuodao：“wodaxiaojiuzaiguowai，wodelaodielaomacongxiaojiubuzaile，zheiyuanzishiwoyeyeliujiwodeweiyinengkandedaodedongxi。”
“peiniqunaerdoumeiwenti，kewozhenshebudezheifangzi！yinweiwolaodielaomazaizheilizhuguo！”
“woyeshizaizheixiaoyuanlichushengde！”
yixihuaranglanlizhizhuleishui，qingqingshuoleshengduibuqi，zhudongdebaozhejinrui：“ge，zhidaogaizenmezuole！”
wanshangdeshihou，jinruishoudaolelanlideweixin，duanduandeyixingzi：“ge，wojuedingle，jixuzaichuandanianshu！”
zhouyixiawu，buermanhuilai，jinruidaizhetachilehuoguo，wanshangzaichishaokao，jiuhebulebushao，doushibaidegenpide，xiangyaohehongde，jinruikemeineiduoqian。
lanjialiangjiemeiyequanchengpeitong，jinruifaxianlanjingyikanzijideyanshenyoudianbuduijing，choukongjiuzhubuermanlenglengwendao：“nigenlanjingyishuolexieshenme？”
“什么跟什么？”
“guanyuwodeshi，nidougenlanjingyishuoleduoshao？”
“e，wodege，quandoushuole！zaizheisantiandemeimiaoshijianli，wobawozhidaodeshi，meiyouyisiyinmanquandougaosulejingyi！”
金锐气惨了。
妻子酒后越界，下场比鬼还惨
作者：天天走上
栏目：都市
zuozhe：wowudilehaizinuligen
栏目：都市
zuozhe：xiangzuobaifumeidexiaoniu
栏目：都市
假装穷小子体验生活，校花女友当众羞辱我，我摊牌了。
zuozhe：choumingzhaozhudemingzhengnvdi
栏目：都市
作者：木千
栏目：都市
一屋子亲戚逼我交出抚恤金，说我是个废物不配用
作者：加勒比海怪
栏目：都市
