guanchangzhichangxiaoshuo《datang：libailaodi，gezhenbuhuixiuxian！》，daibiaorenwulibailixuan，yanyiguanyuchouhenheaiqingdejingcaigushi，zuozheshaonianpaidaxingxingjinqiwanchengbianzhu，zhuyaojiangshudeshihejiuqianwoshidatangde，helejiuyihoudatangdoushiwode！chuiniubiyebudacaogaole，xiangdaoshachuisha，huamiantaimei，lixuandouyouxieburenzhishi！……
shilizaicijinbuhou，lixuanyijingyoulewushilengbingqidenengli。
qihuashixingtaidezhuanbian，jiuxiangshibingheshui，benzhishangtahaishita，bingbuhuiyinweixingtaidebianhuaersunhaonengliang。
suoyi，cikedelixuanyiranyoulewudidejichu！
jiuxiangzhiqianshuode，napashidatangzuijingruideshibing，zaitademianqianyejueduibuhuiyousihaofankangnengli。
kenenglixuanmeiyounenglikeyishasiqianjunwanmadejundui，danjunduinazhelixuanyejueduimeiyourenhebanfa，napashihuanggong，tayenenglaiquziru！
doushuoqianshinanrendan，shiligengshishenerweirenwushangdediqi，meiyouleweixie，zuoshiziranbuyongzaiguqianguhou。
lvxingerwei，jiusuanfengshengchuandaoledaguanxianguishenzhihuangdideerduozhongyounengzenyang？
dangtamenfaxiannalixuanmeiyourenhebanfa，qiezijidexiaomingshengsidouzailixuanyinianzhijiandeshihou，renleideliegenxingjiuhuizhanlu。
duiyulixuan，napashihuangdi，jidanhaipadetongshi，zhihuijingtarushenming，zaiyebuganyouqitaxiaoxinsi。
或者说……
jiusuanyouxinsi，yezhinengyongtaohaoshouduan，yongtangyipaodanlaifushilixuandexinzhicongerdachengmude。
jiruci，lixuanhaiyoushenmehaoyinzangde？zhijielvxingsuixinerweijiushi。
kanneiqunshuifeibushunyan，guangmingzhengdajiuchushoule，kanshangleshuifeilaochaodecaiwu，neijiufeishenerqu，manzaiergui！
yiqiejiushiruciguangmingzhengda，yousheibufu？keyiwenwentashouzhongzhenwujianshifoufengli！
“baidi！zhenren！zanmen……jiucibieguo！”
jirideshijianzhuanshunjishi，yuzhoumatou，pangzimanlianzhengzhongdebaibiexiongdiliang。
dangranle，zheifenzunjingjihushizhenduilixuande，zaishizhexian，rensheilailedoubuganshuozijinengbaochidanranba？
buguopangzidexinsizaojiugaibian，ruguoliangrenzhishiputongshijiazidi，tahaiyoupantanyierdexinsi，danlixuanyijingdaoletabunenglijiedejingjie！
doushuobanjunrubanhu，zheikeshi……xianren！
shuojudabujingdehua，zheibubihuangdilaoerlaidegaogui？
zaofanyebuyidingsiluyitiao，suishuojiusiyisheng，danzhishaonengyouyixianshengji，danyaoshidezuilixuan……
xiangqineixieshuifeixiachang，liangequanshidoumeiyou！shizaishikepa！
kanzhelikaidexiongdiliangren，pangzixinzhongsuiyouyihanbugan，dangengduodequeshifazineixindefangsong，zhongyushizoule！
buyongmeitiantixindiaodan，shengpayigebuzhuyidezuilelixuan，zheiyangderenwu，pangzikeburenweidatangdefalvnengshufuzhu。
naodaibiezaikuyaodaishangde**，nianqingshihouyouzheiyangdechongjingshihaoshi，danxianzairendaozhongnian……wanshiqiugeanwenjiuxing！
zuorenbunengtaitanxin，dangxinzhulandashuiyichangkonga！
yaoyaotou，xinzhonganweizijiliangju，pangzishoushihaoxintai，duizheshoudixiarenzhaohuyisheng：
“kanshenmekan？haibuganjinmaliudexiehuo？yigegedejialimiandoufacaileshiba，buxiangyaogongqianle？”
“haiyou！jideguanhaozijidezuiba，youxiehuakeyishuo，danshenmehuabugaishuo，nimenxinliyeyaoyoushu！”
“bierangwozhidaoyinweinimensheidezuibaguanbuyantuoleilelaozi，buranjiusuanlaozirentouluodi，sizhiqianyeyidingdainimenquanjiayiqishanglu！”
youxiehuatahaizhenmeichuiniu，congzhiqianzaoyushuifeishihouneixianshudeduobijiunengkanchulai，zheijiahuosuiranxianzaisongledianer。
danzhishaomeishaojinglileisideshiqing，nenggouyizhihuoyuezhijinzanxiarujinshenjia，yebushigejiandanrenwu！
……
“baididuiyuzhoukeyoulejie？”
zaiqiannianhoudeshijie，yuzhouzheidifangjiuyouguoneisidahuoluzhiyidechenghao，zaigudaizheilideqihouyebuduorang！
caizouchumeiduoyuan，rouyankejianlibaidehoubeijiuduolekuaishenseyinji，shijintouyifudehanshui！
“xiaodiyemeilaiguozheibian，buguodaoshitinglebushaochuanwen，jushuozheibianyougehongbinlou，shidangdiguirenmenzuirezhongdedifang。”
shouzhongnazhezheshanshanzhefeng，libaideyuqiduoshaoyouxiejiaozao，tongshiyanshenzhongmanshixianmu。
zijidoukuairechenggoule，pangbiandexiongzhangyijiuhaishifengqingyundandemoyang，hanrebuqin！zheidengjingjiezheshishirangrenxianmua！
kanzhexiaolaodiyanshenzhongzidaidejifenyeyu，lixuanyeshimiaodong，zheihongbinlou……buchuyiwaiyinggaishigeqinglou。
cicichuxing，daoshirangzheixiaolaodizhuazhuleweixiongdejifenruanleia！
meiyoujujuedeyisi，lixuanyangleyangxiaba，shiyixiaolaodidailu。
zhiqianzaixiaodifangshiluoergui，rujinlaidaoyuzhoucheng，yesuanshidachengshizhiyi，qiechuanyuziguduomeiren，xianglaizheihongbinlouyingdangbuhuirangrenshiwangba？
lixuanbiaoshizijihenshiqidai。
“baidibuyaojiaozao，zhiqianjiuyijingshuoguole，xianchengdebucheng，zanmenjiucongqianliguxiashou。”
“doushuoshizifengliu，zheihongbinloudingdingdaming，xianglailimianyeyoubushaoqingniancaijun，chenzhejihuijiejiaoyifanyebushibuxing。”
sihushibeiyuzhouyanredeqiwenyingxianglexintai，yueshikaojinhongbinlou，lixuanjiuyuenengganjuedaoxiaolaodixinzhongjiaozao。
suiranmianshangbuxian，danlixuanjiushinengganjuechulai。
sihuxiaolaodihaishibusixin，xiangbiyusuoweiqianligu，tagengxiangyibudaowei，shituzhijiezhaoxunzijidebole！
nianqingrenhaishitaixinjia！
momogantanyijuhou，lixuanyoubuchongyiju：
“baidibufanghuangesilu，jiusuanxinji，danxiangyaoxunzhaojieshiboleyedeyougetujingcaixingba？”
“daguanxiangui，sheijiamenqianbushicheshuimalong，bajiezhirenluoyibujue？”
“renshengdibushude，baidinidichuqudebaitienengfousongdaobolemianqianshangweikezhi，mangmuzhuixunzhihuilangfeishijian。”
“zaizheihongbinlouzhong，xianglaibufashijiadazuzhihou，naizhiyu……qizhonggebierenwukenengjiushibaidixinyibolezhizi！”
“yuqisichupengbi，buruxiancongcixiashou，zhishaonengrangbaidiyougehebolejiaoliudejihui，nijuedeni？”
xiaolaoditainianqing，lixuancikehaizhenyoujifenlaofuqindexintai，yilushangrenbuzhuquanjie。
zailixuankanlai，laodibushimeiyounengli，bukefouren，libaijueduishishijiandingjiandecongmingren，**zhengyifang，xianglaixinzhongyingdangyouxuduobaofuguihua。
danweizhengyifang，kandekebujinjinshinengli，haiyaoyoushouwan，huiyongren，zhishaoyaonengnaniezhushoudixiaderen。
zailixuankanlai，xiaolaodidexingzijiushitaizhi，shuohaotingdianjiaotanlv，shuobuhaotingdian……jiushitaiyiziwoweizhongxin。
zhenyaozhuomoyixiechuipenggongweizhiju，nanbuchenglibaihaixuebuhui？lixuanbuxin，shuodaodibuguoshineixinjiaoaozuosui。
buguoduicilixuanyebudasuangaibiantaiduo。
libaijiushilibai，benjiubuhuiyinweitarensanyanliangyuergaibian，burantayebuhuichengweixiukouyitubangeshengtangdeshixian。
duiyuqixinzhongxiangfahedasuan，lixuanxuanzezunzhong，zuiduokaijieliangju，quebuhuizhijietixiaolaodizuojueding。
buranyicikelixuanbenshi，zhijieshouchizhenwujianshajinhuanggong，yaogeguanzhigouhuangdihainengbuji？(shoudonggoutou)
“baidi，jintiangegeweilenilangfeiruciduokoushui，jinrihongbinlouxiaofei，jiuyoubaidinilaiqingba！”
yilushuohua，buzhibujuejianjiulaidaoledamingdingdingdehongbinlouqian。
buzhiheshi，zuihouyisixiyangyuhuiyiranluoshan，qiheiyemuzhong，denghuotongmingyipianhuihuangdehongbinloushineiyangxianyan！
kanzheyanqianguimohongdadejianzhu，touguojishanchangkaidechuanghukanzheqizhongyingyingyanyan，lixuandangjijiuzhidao，zheidifangtasuanshilaiduile！
yuzhixiangbi，zhiqianxiaozhenshangneisuangesha？zuiduosuanshihunanxiaoxiangzilimiandebuzhengguixiaofalang，shizaishishangbuledangci！
yuzhouchengdoushiruci，buzhiyuanzaiqianlizhiwaishenweishijiediyidadoushidezhangan……youhuishizenyangdejingxiang？
duile，zhanganzuizhumingdefangshishinagelaizhe？pingkangfang？meijicuodehuayinggaishizheigemingziba，jushuojiulianjiaofangsiyezaiqizhong！
xunchangqingloudedajiaguixiukenengshibaozhuang，daojiaofangsilimiande，napazhishiyigeduanchabinv，yuputongrenlaishuoyeshijueduidedajiaguixiu！
bijing……fuqinzhangbeimeidianerpinjidenvzi，kemeiyouchongrujiaofangsidezige！
“liangweigongzi，kuailimianqing！”
xiangderushen，jiulianshenmeshihoubuzhibujuelaidaohongbinloumenqiandoubuzhi。
yizhenxiangfengpubi，jiaodidideeryuxiangqi，huiguoshenkanzheyanqianbaixijiaoxiaodenvzi，lixuanbuyoudeguaner。
zheiniantoudechuanyunvzi，heqiannianhoudehaizhenshitianchadibie！
yebuzhizheijiaodididexiaonvzi，shiruhezailishizhongbuduanjinhua，zuizhongcaiyoulechuanyubaolongdemeiyu……
“buzhierweigongzicixingshichifanhejiuxiaoguniang，haishidajianzhudian？”
libailixuanliangrenmianmaochuzhongyouyizhehuagui，nvziziranbudanxinliangrenfubuqiqian。
nenggouzaihongbinloudanglankeyingbin，nvzizaojiulianjiuyishuanghuoyanjinjing！
taganbaozheng，lixuanfangcaisuishoucongmabeishangquxiadebaoguozhong，tingzheneidingdangcuixiang，limiandecaiwubuhuixiayubaiyinqianliang。
shenzhibaokuopangbiandelibai，baoguozhongyingdangyebuquecaiwu，yibandeyiwuganliang，kebuhuiyourucifenliang。
“zenme？tingguniangzheiyisi……womengaifeidexuanyige？quandouyaobuxingma？”
jinrudamen，shouxianyinruyanliandeshiyigeguimojudadetingtang，tiaokongshaoshuoershimiyouyu！
zhengzhongjianshigesimiankaitaidezhuhongseguxiangwutai，shangmianyiqunjiaorouwujizhengzaiwudao，shenzimoyangdouwuketiaoti。
zaikankanzhouwei，liushangqushui，meirenruyu，zidonghulveneixiedafubianbiandezhongnianyouninan，lixuanfangfozhishenyuwujinhuacong。
youyishuoyi，zheihongbinloubukuishiyuzhouzhizui，jianzhiwanmeidefuhelelixuanduigushihouqingloudesuoyouxiangxiang，shenzhihaiyaoyousuochaoyue！
xinqingdahao，shuohuayebuzijueduoleyifendiaokanyiwei。
……
yirenxuanleyijianfang，lixuanyijingjueding，daoyunshenmedeyoubuhuipao，zaoquwanqutamendouzaineili。
zheihongbinloukeshinandetiyan，gengbieshuohaishixiaolaodiqingke，biedebushuo，xianzaicichuxiangshoushitianbangeyuedezaishuoqita！
xiudaokuaiershinianle！nanbuchenghaibunengrangtaxiangshouxiangshoule？
ganshouzheshenhou**dexiaoshou，kanzhelouxiawutaidegewubiaoyan，shenzhihaiyouyijingbohaode，wenroudidaozuibiandeputao。
suiranlixuanxianglaibutaixihuanputao，dancikejingyejuedezheidangzhenshizhonghaoshuiguo，taiyouganjuele！
“baidibuyonggujiweixiong，mangzijidequba。”
kanzhepangbianwudongyuzhongdexiaolaodi，lixuanturanjiujuedezheirenyouxieaiyanle。
napashixiaolaodifudeqian，danzheibingbuyingxianglixuanguohechaiqiaoxiemoshalv，xiongdima……bujiushiyonglaichumaide？
……
“xiaoniangzi，wotingwenxiyudeputaozuishichuming，zheiputaokeshijinkouputao？”
meilediandengpaoyiyangdelaodi，lixuanmeiduojiujiuyoulejifenfanglangxinghaideweidao。
“公子你坏～”
diaoxiwanzheigeyoudiaoxixiayige，lixuanlecibupi，lezaiqizhong，lebusishu……
biaoshicidizhiyingtianshangyou，yijinlaijiubuxiangchuqushizenmehuishi？
buyoudexiangqishangbeizisunyoudezhilimingyan：ruguozhonglewubaiwanhuiganshenme？
zhiyou**caihuimaifangmaiche，wozhixiangnazhewubaiwandaizaizuliaodianhehuisuorijianxiaoshou，zuihaozheibeizidoubuchulai……
dangshijuedehuaji，xianzailixuanquejuede……xianshengdacaia！zheihuaketaiyoudaolile！
……
fanguanlingyibian，ququbuguobangeshichendeshijianguoqu，xiaolaodiyiranhunruledangdiquanzizhong。
zuoshoulouzhemeizi，youshougaojujiubei，gaotankuolunxiaoronghaoshuang，qifenhaoburongqia，fangfotabenlaijiuhezheiqunrenshihenhaodepengyou。
jiandaozheiyimu，lixuanyebuyiwai，xiaolaodibenlaijiuyoujifensheniuzaishenshangde，qiejijurengemeili。
buranyebunenglianzhequlelianggezaixiangsunnvba？meiyourengemeilikezuobudaozheixie。
gengbieshuocikedexiaolaodichulerengemeilihaiyoulingyigechuzhongdeshanguangdian……youqian！
zhongsuozhouzhi，chaonengliyeshichaonengli。
liangzhexiangfuxiangchengxia，nenggoukuaisurongrudangdiquanzi，lixuanyidianerdoubuyiwai。
erqielaodiyanguangbucuo，suiranzheiqunrenkanzhebushizuiyouqiande，shenzhikenengdoubushiguanhuanzhihou，gengbieshuoshijiazidi。
danzheixierenyigegetantubufan，zhishaoshiduziliyouxiemoshuide，bushijiunangfandai。
suiranjulihenyuan，danlixuanxiangyaotingqingjirenduihuaqueyirufanzhang。
“gongzi，kanshenmeni？wanyouxiyaozhuanxin，zoushenkeshibuduide！”
“nanbuchengnujiajigejiuzheimebudegongzixihuan？yaoshizheiyangrenjiakebuyini！”
buzhiheshi，pangbianyishenhongshadeshuisheyaonvziyilianxiaoyouyuandekaojinlixuanhuaili，jianlixuanmuguangluozaizijishenshang，nvrenyebuchu，jiaoxiaoyisheng：
“gongzikannujiayemeiyongni，zheiyangbuzhuanxin，bixuzifasanbeicaixing，jiemeimen，nimenshuoshibushia？”
真是个小妖精啊！
xiangruanzaihuai，jiaodididexiaoyuqi，fangfonengdichushuilaideyanmou，haiyouzheirouruowugudexianxiyaozhi……
lixuanbiaoshizijiwanquanjingbuzhuzheiyangdekaoyan，dangjijiubaxiaolaodipaozainaohou，zhuanxinwanle！
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
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作者：安诺汉森
栏目：都市
我只会说实话，老婆求我快闭嘴
作者：方方爱吃番茄
栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
栏目：都市
我给死人化妆的亲身经历
作者：八旬老贼
栏目：都市
江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
栏目：都市
