zhujiaojiaoqinweiqianfengjiucidexiaoshuoshi《emozongcaitianchongqi》，shizuozheshuiqingqingxiedeyibenhaomenzongcaileixingdexiaoshuo，shuzhongzhuyaojiangshule：dangqinweiqianbeisaodichumenhou，emozongcaishouchizuanjiedanxiguidi，heshangqianyicaichan，bingchengnuoyaojiangtamenmuzihenhenchongzaixinjianshang！sheiganshuotamenyijubuhao，tajiuqiaoduantamendeya！...
ruodadediyejituan，guangshimishubumenjiuyouhaojishiren，fenfenkanzheneikuchengleirendeqinwaner，xinsigeyi。
jiuzheigeqingkuang，fengjiucikanqilaixiangjileshiluanzhongqideren。
fengjiucilengyankanzhedishangqibuchengshengdeqinwaner，dichendemingling：“xialou，wosongniquyiyuan。”
yijuhuarangweiguanderenyanjingdouliangle！
qinwaneryemeixiangdaofengjiucijuranhuiqinzisongziji，shouxinzaitengyebibuguoneixindequeyue，tachadianmeirenzhujiuyaoxiaochushenglai，dizhetoukelianxixidegenshangqu。
shenhoushimishubudejingtan：“tianna，zongcaijuranqinzisongqinwanerquyiyuan，tashenmeshihouzheimetiexinle！”
“kanlaizongcaishiyuanliangqinwanerle，yihouwomenduizheiweiweilaidezongcaifurenyaokeqidian……”
yilundeshengyinhenxiao，qinwanerquetingdeqingqingchuchu，tazhidaozijizheiyijuduyingle，zhishaofengjiucimeiyouliyoushuaikaita！
diyicizuoshangfengjiucidechebingqiezuodehaishifujia，qinwanerjidongdexinjianxiaoluluanzhuang，xiaoxinyiyidetoukanlefengjiuciyiyan，tazhangdezhendehenhaokan，guangshiyigecelianjiurangqinwanerlunxianle。
congjinyiyuandaochulishangkoudelushang，luguoderendourenbuzhukanfengjiucijiyan，qinwanerxurongdeneixindedaolemanzu，henzirandezouzaifengjiucishenbian，fangfonvzhurenyibanduineixiejiyufengjiuciderenxuanbuzhuquan。
chuliwanshangkouhouqinwanerxiangqulafengjiucideshou：“ninengbunengsongwohuigongsi？”
nanrenyijihairendemuguangsaoguoqu，hedeqinwanershunjiantuiletui。
封九辞没有说话。
qinwaneryizhishuogebuting：“yinweiquxiaodinghundeyuangu，haojigehezuoshangdoubugenwolianxile，woxiangzhoumoshegeyan，batamendouqingguolai，nikeyilaima？”
manhuaiqidaidewangzhefengjiuci，denglexujiuyemeijiantahuida，qinwanerxuanranyuqi：“nibulaidehuatamenhuixiaohuawode。”
“zaishuoba。”chetingzaidiyejituandamenwai，fengjiucishuo：“nidechezizaineibian，zijikaichehuigongsi。”
qinwanerjianhaojiushou，hentinghuadexialeche，“nilushangxiaoxine！”
nanrenlengmodeyaoshangchechuang，jiashizhechezilikai。
“tianna，qinwanerjuranshicongzongcaifujiashangxialaide，wocaiduile！”
“tamenkendingshihehaole！”
“zongcaixihuandeguoranhaishiqinwaner，kanlaiwoshimeiyoujihuile，xinhaotong。”
datanglineixiekandaoqinwanerdecongfujiaxialaidenvhaizimenjidudexindouyaosuile，haiyoujigebuxiangxin，paochulaizhuikanfengjiucidechepai。
qinwanerjiuzheimedayaodabaidezhanzaidiyejituandamenqian，henbuderangsuoyourendouweiguanta，bujinrucihaijinhaoyouqunlifaleyitiaoyuyin：“zheizhoumoyoukongma，laiwojiawan。”
yijuhuabaqianshuiderendoujizhachulai：“qinzongdoubeituihuolehaiyouxianqingyizhijuhui，xinzhenda。”
lingyiren：“gujishixiangjiejiuxiaochou。”
qinwanerkandaozheixiehuifu，lengxiao：“woyijinghefengjiucihehaole，hefengjiadedashaonainaishuohua，nimenkeyaozhuyidian！”
“shenme，nimenhehaole？”qinwanerdeyijuhuarangqunlizhakaileguo，tahenxiangshoubierenneibukezhixinhejidudeyangzi，meizizideheshangshouji，kaichelikai。
beiqinwanerzheimeyinao，zhenggegongsiderendouzhidaole。
zhuguanyizhizaiguanzhuqinweiqiandeyijuyidong，jiantaxianggemeishirenyiyangrenbuzhuwen：“nizhidaozongcaiheqinwanerhehaodeshilema？”
“hehaolea？”qinweiqianchayi。
zhuguananweidepailepaitadejianbang：“niyebietainanguo，liuniandeganqingbijingfangzaineili，tamenhuihehaoyeshibirande。”
“woyoushenmehaonanguode？wobunanguoa。”qinweiqianwaizhetou，henmangran，youdiantingbudongzhuguandeyisi。
zhuguanwunaidetanleyikouqi：“womenzongcaishihenmiren，aimutadenvhaizizhenggegongsidoushubuqing，baokuowodangchugangjingongsideshihouyexihuanguota。zhishia，zheizhonggaogaozaishangdenanrenzhongjiuhewomenbushiyileiren，niyebuyaotainanguo，xiangkujiukuchulaiba。”
qinweiqianzheixiatingmingbaile，zhuguanshijuedetagenfengjiuciyouyituini！tadouyijingjieshilehenduobian，weishenmezheiqunrenjiushibuxinni？
“wohaiyougongzuoyaomang，wojintianyaozaodianxiaban！”qinweiqianshifenyansudeshuo。
“wozhidaonixinqingbuhao，jintianjiufangniyitianjiaba，huiquhaohaopingfuxinqing，mingtianzailaishangban，niyebuyaonanguotaijiu。”zhuguandiandiantou，yifuguolairendeyangzi。
tongbumenderendoujuedeqinweiqianbeishuaile，xinlineijiaoyigedeyi！
benlaihaiyiweiqinweiqiannengzhangzhezijizhangdehaokangenzongcaipanshangdianguanxini，meixiangdaoa……
tujijiushituji，zenmekenengbianchengfenghuangni？
kanbuguanqinweiqiandeyuangong，zhengananchaoxiaota，yuguangquezhuyidaomenkouzhanzheyigehenshuaiqidenanren。
tayishenmingpaibushuolianshoubiaodoushijiazhihaojibaiwandelaolishi，guangshizhanzaimenkoujiurangrenyanqianyiliang，zheijianzhijiushixingzoudeqianguanzi！
zheiyangderenshenfenyinggaibujiandanba，zenmelaitamenzheigepobumenle？
suoyourendouhenchayi，dangengrangtamenzhenjingdeshi，neigehunshenmingpaihaoqirusidedashuaigejuranchaoqinweiqianzouguoqule！
“qianqian，xiabanlema？”nanrendeshengyin，wenrunhaoting，chongmancixing！
zhiqianhaizaichaoxiaoqinweiqiandeneiqunnvhaizi，zhenjingle！tongkongzhengdelaoda！
“nizenmelaile？”qinweiqianyemeizhuyidaoqitarendemuguang，xiaoshengwenqiziheng。
qizihengshuo：“wogongsilizheilibuyuan，ganghaowoyoukong，niyinggaidaoxiabanshijianleba，woqingnichifan。”
tayingjundelianshangguazhehenyangguangdexiaorong，tongyicangkudegongzuorenyuandourenbuzhutoutoukanguolai。
“neishiqinweiqiandenanpengyouma，tianna，haonianqing，haoshuai。”
“qianqian，nishenmeshihoujiaodaozheimehaodenanpengyoua，zhiqianzenmemeitingnishuoguo？”qizhongyirenrenbuzhule，suanliuliudewen。
qinweiqianjieshi：“nimenwuhuile，tabu……。”
“meishenmewuhuide，dajiahao，wojiaoqiziheng，shiqinweiqiandenanpengyou，haiqingdajiayihouduoduozhijiao。”qizihengmeidengqinweiqianjieshiwanzhijiejiuxiangsuoyourenxuanbuleshenfen。
qinweiqianzhenjingdeshuo：“ni……？”
“haole，genwoquchifan。”qizihengduisuoyourenxiaolexiao，henqiangshidelazheqinweiqianwangwaizou。
jingguojiushudekaidao，qizihengyuefadejuedezijibunengzuoyidaibi，yaoxiangbaqinweiqianzhuihuilaijiubixuzhudongchuji，taganglaiyuncheng，yougangganggongzuo，zhengshizuiminganzuicuiruozuixuyaopeibandeshihou，qizihengjiupeizheta！
bingqieqizihenghaijueding，“congjintiankaishi，nidewucandouyouwolaichengbao。”
“wozuotiangennishuodehuanimeitingqing？”qinweiqianrenbuzhuzhongfu。
qizihengshuo：“tingqingle，buguowojiushushuo，xihuanjiuquzhui，wobukenengfangqizheiduanganqingde，qianqian，wohuirangnizhidaowobiwangzonggengshiheni！”
suiranbuzhidaoqinweiqianzenmejiukanshangwangjirenneigelaodongxi，danqizihengjianxin，tabubiwangjirencha！
gaogaozaishangdeqijiashaonainai，zenmezheyebixiaosanhaoba？
qinweiqianshitainianqing，tazhongyouyitianhuizhidao，zijicaishizuishihetaderen。
学神的心动通告
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下乡后，我成了国宴大厨
作者：倒立的可乐
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老婆深夜点了次外卖后，我直接离婚
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未婚妻动了签筒，上上签要留给弟弟
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