zheishiyibuxiandaiyanqingxiaoshuo，jiangshulewuligutingyushenrouzaixiaosidebixiajinglileyixiliejingxiancijidegushi。wuligutingyushenroutianshengjubeilechaohuxunchangdetianfu，tamianlinzhelaizigefangshilidezhuishahekaoyan。zaizheigecankuershenmideshijieli，tabixubuduanchengzhangbingxunzhaozhenxiang。haohao，shimamaduibuqini，mamabuyinggaijiniyigezheiyangdebaba......wojianqilihunxieyi，diujinbingfangzhong，touyebuhuidi……lingrenpingxiyidaidejiejujiangzhenhannidexinling。
第一章
woerzisile，sizaibizedecesuogejian，beirenzapoletou。
xiaozhangzhangfugandaoxianchangshi，quejiangshibaozhebaiyueguangdeerzibaoshangjiuhuche，congcongliqu。
儿子临死前安慰我：
“mamabieku，bababuxiangxinwo，woyidianyebushangxin。”
“zhiyaomamaxinwo，jiugoule......”
haizizanglishang，wojigutingyudadianhua。
他气急败坏地怒吼，
“xiaoxinshoubeifengleliangzhen，doushibeinierzihuashangde！nizaigenwomeiwanmeile，wohuiqujiuchousita！”
你儿子？
wokanzhehaizineibuzailiuxuedeetoushangwankoudaxiaodepodong，bishangleyanjing。
shia，tashiwoerzi......
suoyigutingyu，woerzisile，nihewojiuzaiwuqianban。
......
“haohaobiepa，mamayijingjiaolejiuhuche，henkuaijiuhuiyourenlaijiunide，zaijianchiyixiahaobuhao！”
dimianshangtuozhuaichuyitiaowanyanxuehen，yizhiyanshendaocesuogejian，ranhonglewodeyan。
neishihaohaotaojincesuoshidiluodexueji。
tadangshigaiyouduopa、duotenga......
wozhandouzhewuzhutaetoudeshangkou，xuequeshunzhezhifengbutingyongchu。
根本止不住。
chuangwai，jiuhuchedishengxiangqi。
“haohao！jiuhuchelaile！youjiule！”
gutingyubaozheyigenanhaicongchuangqianfeikuaipaoguo，zhibenjiuhuche。
“xiaoxin，biepa，gubabayidingbuhuirangnichushi！”
jiuhuchecongcongerlai，youcongcongliqu，wojihubuganxiangxinzijideyanjing。
我拼了命叫喊：
“biezou！neishiwojiaodejiuhuche！”
“gutingyu！haohaokuaibuxingle，nihuilai！”
“gutingyu，qiuqiunile......”
meirenliuyidaozhenzhengdeshouhaizheyijingqixiyanyan。
wojimangbotonggutingyudedianhua，yici、liangci，shizhongwurenjieting。
zaiwodisancibohaomadeshihou，haohaozhanmanxianxuedeshouzuanzhuwodeshouwan。
“mama，biedale......babata，buhuihuilaide。”
wodeyanleiyishunjiandiaolexialai。
“mamabujitada，mamazaidayicijijiudianhua，henkuaijiuhuiyoujiuhuchelaile。”
“mama，wochuanbuguoqile......”
haohaodeshouxinbingliang，bishenxiadedizhuandouyaobingleng。
“mama，duibuqi，woyihoubunengbaohunile......
“xiabeizi，nihaidangwomamahaobuhao？”
“danshi，wobuyaobabale......”
huaweishuowan，neizhihaiweichengniandeshouchuilexiaqu。
wodexintiaoturantingzhileyishun，gelejimiao，caiganshoudaoputiangaididetongchu。
wogubudetaguguyongchudexianxue，beiqitayanzheneitiaowanyanxuehendiediezhuangzhuangdilikai。
tadexueyanzhewodeboziliuxialai，guntang，youwushengwuxi。
“haohaobiepa，jiuhuchebudengni，mamabeiniquyiyuan。”
xinghaolushangyudaoyiweihaoxinren，bawomensongdaoleyiyuan。
woguizaiyishengmianqiankukuaiqiu，yishengquezhishiyaotoutanqi。
“haiziyijingzouhenjiule......qingjieai。”
“hushuo！tazenmehuisi？tagangganghaizaihewoshuohua！”
“qiuqiunileyisheng！jiujiutaba！”
woshuangyanmohu，xinzangtongdexiangyaozhalie。
chuangwaiyangguangmingmei，wodeyanqianqueturanyipianqihei。
......
haohaodezanglishang，wojigutingyudaleyitongdianhua。
lianzhesantian，zheicizhongyudatongle。
“gutingyu，haohaota......”
“biegenwotizheigemingzi！zheigehunzhangdongxi，haidexiaoxinshoubeichadianduanle！tayihouhaizenmedangangqin？shenrouweizheishikudejicihundao！doushinijiaoziwufang......”
houmiandemashengwozaiyetingbudaole。
我挂断了电话。
sharenchangming，qianzhaihaiqian。
tamenshijiazaihaohaoshenshangdetongku，woyaorangtamenshibeibaibeidihaihuilai！
haiyougutingyu，womenzheiduanhuangmiukexiaodehunyin，yeshishihoujieshule！
banwanhaohaodezangli，wozhijiequleyiyuan。
gaojibingfangzhong，shenroudeerzishoubeichanzhebengdai，zhengshouwuzudaodijitamenjiangzheshenme。
kandaowodechuxian，gutingyuliansedengshibianle，jicongcongdizoulechulai。
“sheirangnilaiyiyuande？xiaoxindezhuangkuangganggangwendingleyixie，nibielaitianluan！”
“gutingyu，nierzidousile，nihaizaihubierendeerzi！”
woxiesidilidihouleyisheng，bingfangzhongdemuzixiangwotoulaichayimuguang。
gutingyudeliansegengnankanle，bawotuidegengyuanxie，jinggaowo，
“wuli，nijiwoshikeerzhi！wulaoshitayigerendaizhehaiziburongyi，wozuoweixiaozhang，bangbangtazenmele？”
“zaishuo，zheixienianyizhidoushihaohaoqifuxiaoxin，zheicidoubatagebohuashangle，nihaiyoushenmelianlaiyiyuannao！”
zheixiehunzhanghua，wozaojiudaobeiruliule。
shenroudezhangfuhetalihunle，kegutingyuquechangnianzhaoguzheta。
wodezhangfumeihewolihun，queyinqindisihouzhebierendelaopo。
xiaoxindebabapaoqileta，taquededaolegubabadetengai；
woerzidebabahaihuozhe，quehesilemeishenmeliangyang......
jialichuanghuhuaile，handonglayue，lengfengsousoudiwangwuziliguan，gutingyuquezaijishenroumuzizuoxinxuehuidecaishi。tagaosuwoquzhaoxiuligong，tayoubushixiuchuanghude，buyaodashixiaoshidouyilaita。
wodaibingjianchishangke，tadaizheshenrouqushenglikaihui，shunbiangongfeilvyou，rangwobuyaoluanchicu。
jiulianpingzhicheng，wodouyaopaizaishenroudehoumian，gutingyuqueshuo，tashixiaozhang，gongshigongban，bunengduiwoyousixin。
tachuchahuilaijingchangjixiaoxinwanjuhelipin，neihaizizaihaohaomianqiangezhongxuanyao，qidehaohaozahuailegutingyusongjitadeweiyiyigeshengriliwu，fanbeitazouleyidun。
shenroudeerzijiushigexiaomianhu，biaomianyitaobeidiyitao，haohaoduoshaocibeixiaoyuanbaling，douyoutazaibeihoucanyu。
kegutingyubutingbuxin，fanerbeitamenmuziguanshusixiang，renweishihaohaoqifuletamen。
tamenmeimeigaozhuang，haohaozonghuibeigutingyuyongbianzichoudehunshenshishang......
zheizhongshiduoruniumao，genbenshubuqing......
wowangzhegutingyumanliannuyideyangzi，huranjuedeyouxiekexiao。
“burangwolaiyiyuanyekeyi，balihunxieyiqianle。”
wobalihunxieyidijita，zailaizhiqianwojiuyijingqianhaolezi。
gutingyumeijie，taishoubaxieyipaifei，numuershi，
“wuli！niyouwanmeiwan？bienalihunweixiewo！”
tayiweiwozaibitahuiqu，kewoxianzaigenbenbuxiangzaikandaotayifenyimiao。
“nibuqian，wojiuquzhaolvshiqisulihun......”
bingfangzhonghuranchuanlaixiaoxindehutongsheng，
“gubaba！wogebohaotong......”
gutingyuxianghuoshaoweibayiyangchengdiyixiafanhuibingfang，limianchuanlaitachongmanfuaidewenroushengyin，
“xiaoxinguai，gubabazaini，bupa！”
wokanzhebingfangzhonggengxiangyijiasankoudetamen，huranhenxiangfangshengdaxiao。
gutingyuruguoyongzheiyangdeshengyinheyuqiduihaohaojianghua，haohaojuebuhuizaisiqianneimeshiwangwuzhu。
zheijiushiwotiaoxuandezhangfu，zheijiushihaizidebaba！
haohao，shimamaduibuqini，mamabuyinggaijiniyigezheiyangdebaba......
wojianqilihunxieyi，diujinbingfangzhong，touyebuhuidilikaileyiyuan。
wolaidaoyijiafeichangyoumingdelvshishiwusuo，zhaolvshizixunxiaoyuanbalingdeshi。
haohaobunengbaisi，neixiezhaziyebunengxiaoyaofawai，zaiquhuohaiqitarenjiadehaizi。
wolikaiqianhurantingdaoyourenhanwodemingzi。
“吴莉？”
weilinfengyanjiaomeishaodoushikaixinxiaoyi。
tahejiyizhongyiyang，yangguangkailang，yingjunshuaiqi。
wominchunxiaoxiao，mianduizheigeshangdaxueshicengzhuiqiuguowodenianqingren，cishijingyouxiejiongpo。
“maomeiwenyixia，nilailvsuozuoshenme？youshenmexuyaowobangmangdema？”
weilinfengdijiwoyibeiningmengshui。
sihushikanchuwodechiyi，taxiaozheyoushuo：
“woshizheijialvsuodehehuoren，ruguoyoushenmekunnankeyihewojiang。”
wojingyataitou，taquekanzhewoxiaodewenheshanyi，yiruwangxi。
womenyiliaojiushilianggexiaoshi，tajihulejielequanbudeqingkuang，quemeiyouduiwobiaoshirenhetongqinglianmindetaidu。
zheirangwodexinlishaoshaofangsongleyixie，jiuxiangheyiweizhuanyeyoujingyedelvshijiaotanyiyangfangxin。
zheishi，wodeshoujixiangle。
顾霆煜发来微信。
“jidianlehaibuhuijia？！”
wokanleliangmiao，diyicimeiyouhuitadeweixin，zhijieguanji。
weilinfengzhishikanlekan，bingmeiduowenshenme。
womenliangrenlikaikafeitingdeshihou，waimianxiaqileyu。
weilinfengchengqisan，yaosongwohuijia。
wogangwanyanjujue，yidaorenyingjiujicongcongdichongleguolai。
“wuli！wojinidaleshijitongdianhua，nijuranguanjihewowanshizong！”
gutingyuqideliansefabai，mengdikandaoyibiaorencaideweilinfeng，lengxiaoyisheng。
“yuanlaizaihexiaobailianyuehuia！guaibudelianhaizidoubuguan！”
“haizi？nihaiyouliantihaizi？”
zheilianggezizhijiechuozhongwodetongkukaiguan，haohaolinsiqianjuewangyouwuzhudebiaoqingzaiyicifuxianzaiwomianqian。
gutingyuqijibaihuaidizhizewo：“nizheigedangmadebanyebuhuijia，nierziyegenniyiyangzhengtianchuquluanpao！nikankanrenjiawulaoshishizenmejiaoyuhaizide！”
“dui！shenroutahuijiaoyuhaizi，neiniqujitadanglaogong，jitaerzidangdie！e，nibenlaijiushitade‘gubaba’！”
zuihousangeziwojianzhishiyaoyaqiechishuochulaide。
gutingyulengleyishun，jiezhebianbenjialidizhizewo：“wuli，nibiezheimexiaodujichang！tameilebaba，bawodangchengzuiqindejiaren，zenmele？！”
woyangtoushenshendixileyikouqi，qiangrenxiayongdaoyandidesuanse，yijingbuxianghezheigezhazizaifeihuayiju。
“gutingyu，lihunxieyiqianlema？”
wokanxiangweilinfeng，jieshaodao：“zheiweishiweilvshi，quanquanfuzewodelihunanjian，yiji......haohaodexiaoyuanbalingan。”
gutingyuyanpitiaoletiao：“nishenmeyisi？niyaobaerzisongjinjianyu？”
weilinfengzaiyipangyijingrenwukeren：“guxiansheng，juwolejie，shoubalingdeyizhishininerzi。erta，santianqianganggangqushi。”
“nihushuoshenme！xiaoxinneimeguai，zenmekenengbalingwoerzi？”
gutingyuxiayishidifanbo。
tadeguanzhudianhaishiyouxianfangzaibaiyueguangerzishenshang，tawufajieshoucongxiaochongdaodade“guaierzi”，juranhuibalingbieren。
gutingyukanxiangwo，muguangbushan。
“shinigaosutade？nizenmekeyizheimewumiexiaoxin！”
“xiaoxinzheicidoubeidajinleyiyuan，nijuranhaixiangxinneigenizidehua？！”
“wojiushizhiqiantaiguanzhenierzile，cairangtaxiaoxiaonianjijiubuxuehao，jiuzhidaoqifuxiaoxin！”
“nibatazangdaonaerqule？tazhidaozijichuangledahuo，duoqilaileba！”
“wozheicifeichousita！”
wolengjingdikanzhetafakuang，jiuxiangzaidingzheyipimingwanbulingdeyema。
xiaoxin、nierzi，qinshuyuanjinjincongzheilianggechenghujiugaoxialipan。
zicongshenrouneigenvrenchuxianzaiwomenxuexiaoli，wojiuzhidao，gutingyuwanle。
womenzheigejiating，yewanle。
tamenmuzizongshinengqingeryijudifuhuogutingyudexin，qianchezhetadexinuaile。
erwomenmuzi，zhishiaiyandeluzhang，tazaojiuxiangyijiaotikaile。
dagaishiwobiaoxiandetaipingjingle，gutingyufaleyidunfengzhihou，xiangshicaifanyingguolaiweilinfengshuodehoubanjuhua。
“nigangcaishuoshenme？woerzisantianqianqushile？”
weilinfengwuqingdichaofeng：“zhongyudanxinqinideqinerzile？”
gutingyumanliannuyi，baozaodao：“jiusuanwoerzizaibuhao，niyebugaizuzhoutasile！nigehundan！”
gutingyuyiquanhenhendihuixiangweilinfeng，quebeiduifangzuanzhushouwan，mengdishuaikai。
gutingyuhaixiangfabiao，worenwukerenchongleguoqu，yibazhanghenhendishanzaigutingyulianshang！
“haohaoqueshisile！santianqiansizailexuexiaodecesuogejian！”
“jiushibeinide‘guaierzi’dapolenaodai！”
“nihairangtazhanlewojiaodejiuhuche！”
“taliuleneimeduoxue！daoyiyuanshixuedouliuganle！”
“nizheigerenzha！bupeizuohaohaodefuqin！”
woxiesidilidiyidunma，yikouqixianxiemeitishanglai，yankuangzhangdeshengteng。
gutingyumanlianlengzheng，bukezhixindidengdayanjing。
“nishuode......shizhende？haohaotazhende......”
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