youzuozhe“qixiaoyu”bianxiewanchengde《gaishiyanjun》，shiyibuguanyuzhujiaoningyiyeqingyaozhijiangushidedoushishenghuowen，xiaoshuojianjie：yeqingyaomengranyixiahuishenguolai，manshibukesiyibiaoqing：“tajuranshuozoujiuzou，laoniangzaitayanli，zhenzheimemeixiyinli……
“ni……nirenshichuye？”
sangbiaoganjuezhenggerendoubuhaole，mianlukongjuzhise。
chuyenaidaoshangheheyoumingdedalao，genrongchengyejiagengshilaiwangmiqie，jiaoqingfeiqian。
yaoshiyanqianzheinvrenzhenrenshichuye，neitahaizhenrebuqi！
sangbiaoyouxieweijuhuyidekanxiangyeqingyao，xiangyaonongqingchuzheinvrenshifouzhenrenshichuye。
正当其实。
zhouzaoturanxianqiyizhengangfeng。
zhongrenxintoujieshimomingzhanlilexia。
jiujianyixufajiebaidelaozhechuxianzaiyeqingyaoshenpang。
xianchangchuleningyi，qitarengenbenjiumeikandaozheilaozheshiruhechuxiande。
“yeyatou，nagebukaiyanderedaonile？”
laozheyuqidaizhelinranshayi，ruiliyanshenhuanshizhongren，hunshensanfazheyiguqiangjingqishi，rangrenbuganyutaduishi。
napazhishiqingmiaodanxiedeyijuhua，yezugourangsangbiaodengrensangdanpohan。
“zheijiahuoyaofeilewopengyou，zuishanghaiduiwobuganbujing。”
yeqingyaotaishouyizhisangbiao：“chuye，nikanzhebanba！”
chuyelingruimuguangdunshiluodaolesangbiaoshenshang。
“噗通！”
sangbiaoshuangjiaoyiruan，zhitingtingguidaozaidi。
jiezhezuoyoukaigong，chaozigelianshangshijingshuaizhedabidouzi。
zhizaikandaochuyeneiyishun，tajiuhedehunshenzhanli，tebieshitingdaochuyehanchuneijuyeyatou，gengbeijingdehunfeitianwai。
zairongcheng，nengbeichuyehanzuoyeyatouderen，chuleyeshineiweishangyenvwang，hainengyoushei？
xiangdaotaganggangjingranhaidasuanwanyiwanyeqingyao，sangbiaohunshenhanmaodoubuzijueshuzhiqilai。
“yexiaojiexinu，woxialegouyanbushitaishan，wozhidaocuole，yihouzaiyebuganle。”
sangbiaobiandazigeerguangbianhaosangzhe。
suijizhuantouchaochuyeyigenaodaikedishang：“chuye，ninkaien，jiuraolewozheiciba，woyihoujinindangniuzuoma……”
chuyemuguangsenleng，maibuzoudaosangbiaogenqian。
“ganruyeyatou，sibuzuxi！”
tashengxianlenghan，taishouanshangsangbiaonaodai，jiuyaofalijisha。
sangbiaohedehunfeiposan，dazhengzheshuangyan，manlianjuewang。
“chuye，jiaoxunyixiajiusuanle。”yeqingyaoshishikaikou。
“好。”
chuyeyingheyisheng，ditoukanxiangsangbiao，muguangmanshimoran：“yeyatouxinshan，neijinribianfeinishuangshou，rangnizhanggejiaoxun！”
hualuo，zhiting“kaca”liangsheng，sangbiaoliangtiaoshoubeidunshibeishengshengbaiduan。
tasuduxunjie，xianchangchuleningyi，meirenkanqingchutashiruhedongshoude。
sangbiaocanhaoyisheng，dalazheshuangshoudaozaidishang，tengdehunshenzhichouchou。
chuyelengyansaoshisangbiaoneixieshouxia，hedetamenfenfendiudiaoshouzhongdaogun，hulalaguidaoyidapian，lianshengqiurao。
“滚！”
chuyeyanechenhe，xiaohunzimendunshiruhuodashe，jiaqisangbiaolangbeiluopao。
yeqingyaodiyishijianzoudaoningyimianqian，guanqiedao：“nizenmeyang，tamenmeishangzheniba？”
ningyixintouyinuan：“wohenhao。”
yeqingyaozheicaifangxiaxinlai：“neijiuhao！”
bianshangdechuyeheningmeiyunyanjianzheiyimu，jieshimomingjingcha。
chuyeweiweimiyanzhushizheningyi，tahaishitouhuijiandaoyeqingyaorucijinzhangyigenanzi，erqietazongjuedezheigenandenalibudaduijing？
ningmeiyunzeshijingchayu，zijidebiaodijinggenyeqingyaorenshi。
tabuyouxiangqixianqianzaijiudianliduiningyidelengchaorefeng，xinxiamomingdanxin。
danpashenmelaishenme，zhijianyeqingyaolengmuluodaotashenshang：“congjikekaishi，nibeijiegule！”
ningmeiyunhunshenyizhan，dunshirusangkaobi。
tabennengkanxiangningyi，xiangzheqiutabangmangshuoshuoqing，danzuibazhanglezhang，shizhonghaishimeiyouyongqikaikou。
ningyijianzhuang，weiweitanlekouqi，shuodao：“tahaodaiyeshiwobiaojie，yaobujiusuanleba。”
tagenbenbuxuyaoyongzheizhongfangshilaizhengmingzijilihai，napatabuxihuanzheigebiaojie，danyemeibiyaoluojingxiashi。
yeqingyaoxiaorongtianmeidekanxiangningyi：“hao，jirannishuole，neijiuyini。”
tabenjiumeizhenxiangkaichuningmeiyun，zhibuguoshixiangjiecirangningmeiyunqianningyiyigerenqingbale。
ningmeiyuntingdaoyeqingyaozheihua，dunshizhongzhongsonglekouqi。
yeshifulihao，shangbanshijianshao，erqiehaishirongchengdiyidajituan，tanengzaiyeshishangban，xianshaleduoshaorendoubuzhidao。
yaozhenbeiyeshikaichu，tashangnazaiquzhaozheimehaodegongzuo？
chuyeshishikaikoudao：“yeyatou，meishidehuawomenjiugaizoule。”
yeqingyaotingyan，zhihaochaoningyishuodao：“neiwoxianzoule，dianhualianxi！”
tashuowanbiangenzhechuyeshangcheliqu。
cheshang，yeqingyaosixupiaohu，taturanhenhaoqi，yaoshiganggangtameichumian，ningyihuizenmejiejuezheijianshi？
turan，yidaochenlengshengyinchuanlai。
“yeyatou，neigerenpeibushangni。”
chuyemiansemoran：“nihaishigentaduanlelianxiba！”
yeqingyaomeitouweizhou：“chuye，tajiulewodeming，nibukeyizheimeshuota。”
“yatou，woyeshiweinihao，laoyezineibian……”
“yeyeneibianwoziyoushuofa，ningyiwoyaodingle！”
yeqingyaomouguangshanshuo：“tabujinyishujingzhan，gengqingyiwushuang，woyijingdayingta，zaiyigeyuenei，rangtamingdongrongcheng！”
chuyemeitouyizhou，chenmobuyan。
yigeyueneimingdongrongcheng，chufeijiangyeshide“zhibao”jitacaixing。
buguoxianzai，daohaiyoulingyigejihui。
zaiguojitian，yanjun，dawulongjuntongshuai，bianyaolilinrongcheng，dawugaocengyizheshoujubanyanjunchushandadian。
yejiazairongchengcaixiongshida，liyaqunxiong，huodelebencichushandadiandechengbanquan，tongshihuodeyigexiangyanjunzhimianyinjianrencaidejihui。
qiemingezhiyouyige，jiweizhengui！
“yatou，nigaibuhuixiangbajiancaimingejitaba？”
chuyexintoudouranyitiao，nanyixiangxiangyeqingyaojinghuiduiyigecairenshimeijitiandenanren，jiyirucigaodeqiwang！
yeqingyaoxiaozheyaotou：“yiwoduitadelejie，takebushiganjurenxiazhibei，napashizaiyanjunhuixia。”
“nideyisishi，nengweiyanjunxiaoli，tahaibuleyi？”
chuyemanlianjinge，shenmerena，youzheimedadepaitou？
lianjiyanjunxiaolidoubuxieyigu？
“weiyanjunxiaolishiwushurenmengmeiyiqiudeshi，danzheixierenjueduibubaokuoningyi！”
yeqingyaomanlianduding，ningyizailongjunfuyiduonian，yitadebenshi，ruozhizaigongming，kongpazaojiumingmantianxiale。
chuyemeitouzhouqi：“neinidasuanruhebangta？”
ruguobushijiancaiminge，yaoxiangyigeyueneirangningyimingdongrongcheng，jiuzhiyouyigebanfale！
danzheigebanfataiguodanda，yidanfuzhushishi，neijiushiqianyifaerdongquanshendedashi，rongbudebandianmahu！
“chuye，zheigenijiubieguanle，woziyoubanfa。”yeqingyaoshenmiyixiao。
“yatou，niyaozenmezuowobuguan，danniyidingyaoshenzhiyoushen，qianwanbukehulai！”
chuyemanlianyoulv，tayijingcaidaoyeqingyaoxiangzenmezuole。
zheigexingningdexiaozidaodishenmelaitou？
buxing，bixudehuihuizheixiaozi，bunengyouzheyeyatouhulai！
妻子酒后越界，下场比鬼还惨
作者：天天走上
栏目：都市
zuozhe：wowudilehaizinuligen
栏目：都市
zuozhe：xiangzuobaifumeidexiaoniu
栏目：都市
假装穷小子体验生活，校花女友当众羞辱我，我摊牌了。
zuozhe：choumingzhaozhudemingzhengnvdi
栏目：都市
作者：木千
栏目：都市
一屋子亲戚逼我交出抚恤金，说我是个废物不配用
作者：加勒比海怪
栏目：都市
