remenxiaoshuo《humeigaoshou》shihuakaideshitouqingxinchuangzuodeyibendoushishenghuofenggedexiaoshuo，zheibenxiaoshuodezhujiaoshiqinfengouyangqian，wenzhongdeaiqinggushiqimeierchunjie，wenbijijia，shilituijian。xiaoshuojingcaiduanluoshidu：tashiguojishashoubangdiyigaoshou，xieshenqinxiansheng。tashi‘siwangzhishou’yongbingtuandetuanzhang。tashiqinfeng，guomubuwanggaozhishangdejueshitiancai。taweibaoxuehaishenchoucongdiyuzhongguilai，zhongmeihuanrao，bantazhitayunxiao。...
摩豪家西餐厅。
zuoluodeweizhisuiranbusuanhaohuadiduan，danyesuanshishanghenhaole，zhandiweizhijiguang，zuzuliangceng，dianqiantingcheweibushao，zuzuyouliangbaiduoge。
yaoshijindianxiaofei，nazhexiaopiao，tingcheshimianfeide，burandehua，zeshiyaoshoufei！
suoyi，tingzaixicantingqiandechezi，jihudoushidaibiaozhemohaojiaxicantingdekeren。
jintianhaibushixingqitian，tingchechangdoujihutingledaban。
mohaojiaxicanting，renjunxiaofeiqibabai，haijingchangbaoman，yuanyinwuta，wuyousuozhi，erqie，tianhaishibuchaqianderenduole，xiangchixican，shouxuanziranshimohaojiaxicanting。
chulejidongchetingchequ，haiyoufeijidongchedezhuanmentingchequ。
qinfengqizhediandongchedaizhemoyuxuanjingzhidelaidaolefeijidongchetingchequ，sansimiwaixianggededifangtingzheyiliangyuemoershiwanzuoyoudebiekeche。
cheshangzuozhelianggesanshilaisuidenanzi。
qinfengliangrendidadeshihou，tamengangbachetinghao，zhunbeixiachechifan。
“tianjingli，nikanneigenvzizhangdezhenmeia！”zuozaifujiashizuoshangdenanzi，yilianjidongdezhizhecheqianfangbuyuanchudenvzi。
“youduomei？”tianjinglixiaozhetaitoukanqu，yikanzhixia，dairumuji，xinxunanping：“jingranshita，santianqian，tadelianshangbushiyoutangbama？zenmemeiyoule？mofeizhiqianjianmiandeshihou，taguyizailianshanghuadetangshangzhuang？huozhezhileidedongxi？”
tabuxiangxinshizuodezhipizhileideshoushu，yinweishijianshangmeiyouneimekuai，erqiezuoleshoushu，jitianbunengjianfeng。
bingqie，guoneidezhengrongshuiping，genbenbukenengdadaozheigeshuiping，zhengrongshuipingzuifadadebangziguoyedabudaozheigeshuiping。
zheixiejibenyuanlitadoushizhidaode。
“tianjingli，nizenmebushuohuale？shibushibeimeidaile。nibushiyizhidouxiangzhaogexiangmaobucuodenvpengyouma？zheigenvrenjianzhishiweiniliangshendazaoa，niyaoshinenggouzhuishang，neidaidaonalidouzhangmianzia！”fujiashizuoshangdenanzixiaozhediaokandao：“shuoshihua，yaobushiwojieguohunle，wodouxiangzhuiqiule！”
“taojingli。zheigenvzi，worenshi，tajiaomoyuxuan！”tianjinglishenxiyikouqi，yaxiaxinzhongdejidong。
“nirenshi？neibugenghaoma？nikeshiyigejingli，yuexinliangsanwan，kaidechekeshiershiwan，bingqiehaiyoufang。jinshuiloutaixiandeyue，nikeshidadadeyoujihuia！denghuiqingtachigefan，ranhousongtahuijia，yilaierqu，zeze，buchengdounan。”taojinglizandao。
“nipeihewoyixia，ruoshichengle，woqingnichihewanyitiaolong。”tianjinglikanxiangtaojinglirenzhendeshuodao。
“weileyitiaolong，wobaozhunpeihenichenggongbaodemeirengui！”taojinglipaixiongfuxiaozheshuodao。
两人说完就下车了。
kanzheqinfengtinghaodiandongche，moyuxuanqinnidelouzheqinfengdegebojiuzhunbeijindian。
tianjingligangxiache，kandaozheiyimu，tademeitouweiweiyizhou，tayijingbamoyuxuanshiweilejinluan，kandaomoyuxuanbaozhebiedenanrendegebo，xinzhonghaishimomingdebushufu。
buguo，rujindeshehui，jiusuanjiehunlehaikeyilihunni，gengbuyaoshuoduifanghaimeiyoujiehun，taxiangxinpingjiezijidenengli，kendingnenggoujiangmoyuxuanduoguolai。
“moyuxuan。”tianjinglixiaozhejiaodao。
moyuxuanniuguotou，kandaoleyingrutayanlianderen。
“tianjinshan？”moyuxuanchayileyixia。
qinfengyeshihuiguotoukanleyiyan，yingruyanliandenanzi，shencaiweipang，chuanzhexizhuang，kanqilaiyexiangshigechenggongrenshi，zhiyuchenggongdaonayibu，dazhikanleyiyantamendechejiuzhidao，ershiwanzuoyou，xiaokangshuiping，duiyulaizhedeyitu，tayongjiaodounengzhidao，duifangshikanshangleyuxuanjie。
“meiyouxiangdaonihaijidewo！”tianjinshanxiaodao：“shangcishiyinweiyoujishi，suoyilikaile，jintianjiandaole，woqingnimenchifandangchengpeizuiba！duile，nishenbianzheiweishininanpengyou？”
“nanpengyou？”moyuxuanyouxiehaoxiao，taziranshimingbaitianjinshandeyitu。
yushi，tajileqinfengyigeyanshen，yisishipeihewoyanxi。
qinfengzeshijitahuileyigeyanshen。
suiranqinianmeijian，zaicijianmianhaibumanyitiandeshijian，danshiduiyuqinfengdeyanshen，tazheigedangjiedekeshimiaodong，zhidaoqinfengqilewanxin，duici，taziranshipeihe。
“zheikebushiwonanpengyou，shiwodidi。”moyuxuandandandeshuodao。
“didi？”tianjinshanxinzhonganandesongleyikouqi，yuanlaishididi，neizhuiqiushangmoyuxuandenandukejiuyoujiangdile，yinweitazuoweinanren，yebudebuchengren，qinfengshuaidediaozha。
taduicisihaomeiyouhuaiyi，jiejiejuemeiruoxian，didiyingjunfeifan，zheiyijiazidejiyinhaoa！
“guaibudezheimeshuaiqi！”tianjinshanqianyideshuodao：“xiaoxiongdi，buzhidaowoyoumeiyourongxingqingnimenchifan？”
qinfengxiaozhekaikoudao：“niqingwomentaipofeileba？”
“tianjingliweirenhaoshuang，keshibuchaqiandezhu，kandaochemeiyou？ershiwandeche，haijiuchengxinni，jiuzhunbeihuanle。qingnimenchifanziranbuzaihuaxia。”jiuzaizheigeshihou，taojinglitaobixiaozhekaikoule，nenggouzuodaojinglizheiyibu，ruhepeihe，ruhejianrenshuorenhua，jianguishuoguihua，neikeshiliudehen。
“shima？”qinfengxiaodao：“neiwomenjiubukeqile！”
“zhishizhunbeihuan，buguozhunbeidengzaiguoyilianggeyue，daoshihouhuangesiwushiwandesuvchexingde，neizhongchexinggengshufu。zouba，qingnimenchifan，wanquanmeiyouwentide。”tianjinshanxinzhongduitaobidepeihexinzhonganzan，lianshangzeshipingdandexiaodao。
sihuzaishuoyijianweibuzudaodeshiqing。
zhiyuhuanche？zenmekeneng！
nanrenma？zaixinyidenvrenmianqian，ziranshiyaochuideshaodayixie，daoshihouchengle，duomaixiehuazhuangpinshenmede，sheihaihuiwenzheixie？
tazaishuohuadetongshi，kanleyiyanmoyuxuan，sihumeiyoushenmeyiyangdeshenqing，xinzhongduoshaoyouxieshiluo，buguotasihaomeiyouhuixin，zheigenvzibushibaijinnv，zheiyangyebuhuichuxian，zijizhuishangle，beigengyouqiandenanrenjiqiaozoudeqingkuangchuxian。
yixingsirenshuozheihua，jinrulemohaojiaxicanting。
moyuxuanyizhidouzaichenmo。
yinweibushizhoumo，erqiemohaojiaxicantingzhizhongkongjianjida，suoyi，haiyoubushaokongwei，tianjinshanzuozhuxuanleyigesirenzuo。
“jie，gangcainibushishuoxiangquweishengjianma？”qinfengkanxiangmoyuxuan，shuodao。
moyuxuanxindao，woshenmeshihoushuoquweishengjianle，danshishunjianleran，ranhouqianyideduiliangrenshuoxia：“en，shipeiyixia。”
“nimenquweishengjianma？”qinfengkanxiangliangren，xiaozhewendao。
“womenjiubuqule！dengnimenhuilai，womenzaidianfan。”tianjinshanxiaodao。
“neiwomenququjiulai！”qinfengbaibaishoushuodao。
前往卫生间的路上。
“yuxuanjie，nizenmerenshineitianjinshande？”qinfenghaoqidewendao。
“wozhiqianbushigaosuni，woqianjitianwobabadeganma，yesuanshi**nainaiqushi，huileyitanglaojiama？”moyuxuanjieshidao：“tahaoxiangshilinjunainaijiadeqinqi，zhidaowohaidanshenzhihou，jiuxiangzhuiqiuwo！”
“ranhouni？”qinfengxiaowendao：“nibuhuiyongleshashoujianba？”
“meicuo，wodabufenshijiandoushiyongtoufazhezhuwolianshangdetangba，wodangchuzijitangdeshihoujiuxiangguozenmechulizheigewentile，dabufenshijian，wodoushiluchuyibandelian，keruoshiyudaozhuiqiuzhedehua，wojiuhuilongkaitoufa。takandaolewolianshangdetangba，ranhoujiuzhaojiekoulikaile，jintianpashikandaowolianshangmeiyoutangbale！”moyuxuanwunaideshuodao。
“yuanlairuci！”qinfengdiantou。
“nibuhuiyoushenmehuaizhuyiba？”moyuxuanrenbuzhushuodao：“suiranwoduitameiyouganjue，yebuxianggentayoushenmeqianche，dantabijingshi**nainaijiaqinqi，zuodetaiguofenyebuhao。”
“womingbai，wozhishirangtazhinanertuieryi。bijingzhiqianjiusuanwomenshuoshinannvpengyouguanxi，wanyihoumiantazhidaole，tabushihaiyaojiuchannima？suoyiwojiuxiangleyigeyilaoyongyidebanfa。”qinfengxiaodao。
“shenmebanfa？nenggenwoshuoyixiama？”moyuxuanhaoqi。
“nidenghuijiuzhidaole。”qinfengliezuiyixiao：“haole，nishiqucesuo，haishihuidaozuowei？”
“wohaishiqushanggecesuoba，nini？”moyuxuanwendao。
“niquba，denghuiquzaigaosuni。”qinfengshenmiyixiao。
“nizheijiahuo。”moyuxuanhenshiwunaidekanleqinfengyiyan，ranhoujinrulecesuo。
qinfengzeshichaozheyigedifangzouleguoqu，neibianyigeouzhoufusedezhongniannanzimiandaixiaorongshenshouyingleshanglai，yongliulidehanyushuodao：“qinxiansheng。”
“jinqutanba！”qinfengshenshougentawoleyixia，xiaodao。
“qinxiansheng，qingjin。”zhongniannanzijiangqinfengyingjinwuzi。
zheigewuzilimianshiouzhoubangongshifenggedezhuangban。
“qinxiansheng，zaicijiannin，haishiheyiqianyiyang，shikedouyoujuemeinvzixiangban。”zhongniannanziqianbeidegongweidao。
qinfengzhishixiaoxiao：“tingmoxixianshengyan，douzhunbeihaole？”
“shide，qinxiansheng，zheiyifenwenjian，nizhixuyaoqianshangjigeming，anshangjigeshouzhiyinjiukeyile。”zhongniannanzishuozhecongyigewenjianbaoliquchuleyifenwenjian。
qinfengjieguowenjian，yonglejifenzhongdeshijiansaowanle，lianshangluchulemanyidexiaorong，zheimoxibanshiguoranrangrenfangxin，ranhouzaixuyaodedifangqianshanglezijidemingzi，anshangleshouzhiyin。
“zheizhangheijinkaninnazhe，renheyinxingdoukeyiyong，zheilimianshidianpuguoqusangeyuedejinglirun，yigongyiqiansanbaiduowan。meigeyuedejinglirun，daoshihoudouhuizhunshidadaoninzheizhangheikadezhanghuli。”zhongniannanzishuangshoudishanglaileyizhangheijinka，xiaozheshuodao。
“en。”qinfengmiansepingjingdejieguoheijinkashouleqilai，jiuhaoxiangzheizhishiyizhangxunchangdeka，ranhouwendao：“jiexialaidianpu，haishiyoutamunilaiguanli？”
“zanshiyouwoguanli，dangran，qinxianshengruoshiduiwobumanyidehua，keyizijianpairen。”zhongniannanzitamuxiaozheshuodao。
“haishiyouniguanliba，zheiyixingwoyebutaidong。”qinfengxiaodao。
“neijiuduoxieqinxianshengle。”tamuxiaodao。
“haole，nimangba！”qinfengbaishou：“neihetong，denghuiwolikaideshihouzaina！haiyou，wodeshenfen，nizhidaojiuxingle，xianbuyonggaosuqitayuangong。”
“yiqietingcongqinxianshengde。”tamumiandaixiaorong，gongjingdao。
jiezhe，qinfenglikailezheijianwuzi。
救命！我的老婆和小姨子她俩今天又换号了
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