zhujiaoshishengmianmianhuoyuhandexiaoshuoshi《huoshaodexunqizhilu》，benxiaoshuodezuozheshilizhihuanxiedeyibenhaomenzongcaileixiaoshuo，shuzhongzhuyaojiangshule：weijiumama，shibasuidetadaitijiejie，shengxiayigehaizi，quechadianesizaiguowai。sannianhou，taqiangshiergui，quebuxiangjuranreshangleyigekeaidexiaobaozi，zongshichanzhehantamami。“mami，nijuedeyanyanshuaima？”xiaobaozilazhetadeshou，butingdichaotapaozhemeiyaner。“shuai，tebieshuai，yanyanshitiandixiazuishuaide。”tamozhexiaobaozidelian，xindiyoushengxiai。“zuishuaide？neiwoni！”mounanyiting，budandingle，likejiangtadizaiwoshiqiangshang，hairangrendaizoulexiaobaozi。“huoyuhan，niganshenme？nifangkaiwo，wohenishenmeguanxidoumeiyou！”“shenmeguanxidoumeiyou？”mounanchunjiaogouqi，xiaodao：“neiwodainihuiyihuiyi。”diertian，shengmianmianfuqiangerchu，xiaobaozilikebaozhutadetui：“mami，meimeishenmeshihoucongniduzilichulai？”...
huoshijituan，zongcaibangongshi。
“zheixiejiushitazaixuexiaodeziliao？”huoyuhankanzhelimiandeneirong，meitoujincu。
“shi，shide……”jinghaozaiyipangdianlediantou，shuodao：“shiandilixunwenledangshidelaoshihexiaozhang，haiyoushengxiaojiedangniandetongxue。”
“hao，nixiaquba！”huoyuhanbailebaishou，jinghaobianzhuanshenlikailebangongshi。
dunshi，shineianjingyipian。
huoyuhanmeitoujinzhouzhe，kanzheyanqiandeziliao，hennanjiangzheixieheshengmianmianbenrendexingxianglianzaiyiqi。
zhishi，zhirenzhimianbuzhixin。
zaixiangdaoshengqingroujinrineipoladeyangzi，herenqiangaoyadeyangzi，huoyuhanlengxiaoleyisheng。
shengjiajiemeikanlaidouhenhuiweizhuangziji。
yuanbenduishengmianmiandeyidingdianhaogan，dunshidouhuaweilewuyou。jiangziliaorengjinlelajitong，huoyuhanjixugongzuo。
……
shengmianmianhewangandihaiyousuxiaoyuezaicantingqingzhu。
chenzhefuwuyuanhaimeishangcai，suxiaoyuejiangshengmianmianlajinlenvcesuodegejian，baguadiwendao：“mianmian，xiawudedianhualiwodouwanglewenni，nizuowanhehuoyuhanzenmeyangla？nichenggongshangweimei？”
“xiaoyue，wohehuoyuhanmeiguanxi！”shengmianmianlikefouren。
“nihaipianwo？zuowanwoshangwancesuohuilai，keshiqinyankandaonibeihuoyuhanbaozoude！”suxiaoyueyiliandebuxiangxin，zhuiwendao：“yaobushipadaraolenimen，wokendingduominglianhuancalldicuiwenni。”
“shuo！nihehuoyuhandaodifashengleshenme？”
“e……”shengmianmiannaolenaonaodai，zhihaocongshizhaolai：“jiushiwohezuile，diertiancaixingguolai，tarangwozhaoguxiaobaobao，worangtabangwochawomademudi……”
shengmianmianbaqingkuangdoujisuxiaoyueshuoleyibian。
“meixiangdaohuoyuhanjuranduinizheimewenrou？nikulehaijinizhijin？”suxiaoyuefangfotingdaoleyijianbudelededashier，zhihudao：“chudashierle！budelele！huoyuhanyidingshixihuanshangnile！”
“……”shengmianmianwuyanyidui，ganjinyongshouwuzhulesuxiaoyuedezui。
“wuwuwu……zhende！nixianfangkaiwo，wojinijiang。”suxiaoyuezhengtuokaishengmianmiandeshufu，diediebuxiudishuodao：“wojiujidewotongshishuo，youyicihuoyuhanzaishangchangxunluo，yigenvshengzaitamianqianhuadao，neinvshengbenlaikanzheta，neiyanshenerjiuqipantafuyixia，jieguonicaifashengleshenme？”
shengmianmianyaoleyaotou，manliandemangran。
zhuyaoshi，taduizheigeyebuganxingqua！
“jieguo，tazhijiecongneinvshengdeshenshangkualeguoqu……”suxiaoyueyiliandebagua，shuowanjiuhahadaxiaoqilai。
“……”shengmianmianzaiciwuyanyidui。
“mianmian，nishuoshuokan，huoyuhanduinineimetitie，shibushixihuanshangleni？”suxiaoyueliangyanfangguangdikanzheshengmianmian。
“zhendebushi，wokeyikanchutaduiwodeyane。”shengmianmiandakaigejiandemen，shuodao：“womenkuaihuiquba，andigeyigerenzaibaoxiangni！”
“mianmian，nizenmebuxinwodehuaa！congwoyuebianyanqingxiaoshuodejingyanlaikan，huoyuhankanshangnile，nichenggongyinqiletadezhuyi！”suxiaoyuegenzaishengmianmiandeshenhou，butingdishuodao。
“haole，xiaoyue。”shengmianmianzhuanguoshen，wunaidikanzheta，shuodao：“jiusuanshikanshangwole，neiyeshixiaobaobaokanshangwole，erbushihuoyuhan。”
shuowan，tasonglesongjian，ganjinzouchulenvcesuo。
……
jiuzufanbaozhihou，sangerengezihuijia。
shengmianmianhuidaoxinghuwan，kanzheketinglideguhuihezi，zhijuedezhenggerenxinlingdouyouleguisu。
“ma，nifangxin，woyidinghuitinibaochoude。”tashuangshouheshi，momodeqidaozhe。
guolepianke，tabianquyushixizao。
“dingdong……dingdong……”
shengmianmiangangchuanhaoshuiyi，menwaijiuxiangqilelingsheng，erqieshengyinhenshijicu。
dawanshangde，wangandihesuxiaoyuedouhuijiale，ganggangyebaoguopinganle，haihuiyousheilaizhaota？
shengmianmianganjuexindoutidaolesangziyaner，tahaipashineizhonggenzongkuang，banyehuilaisaoraonvsheng，jinxingqiangjieshenzhi……qitabiantaixingwei。
tanieshouniejiaodizoudaomenkou，dianqijiaojianqingqingdidakaimaoyan，ranhouxiangmenwaikanqu。
jieguo，menwaijuranzhandeshihuoyuhanhehuojinyanyidayixiao。
shengmianmianshunjianmengbile，ganjinbamendakai，yiwendao：“nimenzenmelaile？”
huoyuhanneimelihai，suirantameishuoguozijidedizhi，danshitakendingyichajiuchadedao。
zhishishengmianmiannamendeshi，zheimewanle，tadaizhexiaobaobaodaotajialilaiganshenme？
huoyuhanyanmouweiweimiqi，zheigenvrengangxiguozao，chuandeshidiaodaidesizhishuiqun，linglongdequxianjinxianwuyi。
keyixiangdaotahunluandesishenghuo，tabianjuedeyizhenyane。
“ayanchaozheyaohenishuijue。”huoyuhanyibabaoqihuojinyan，zhijiezoujinlegongyu。
ruguobushiyinweierzinaodelihai，tayebukenengbaerzidaidaozheililai。
“mami，mamibaobao！”huojinyanxiaobaobaodengzhexiaotuier，zhangzhexiaoshoubei，xiangzheshengmianmianhuhuanzhe。
shengmianmiankanzhehuoyuhanyinchendelianse，ganjinshangqianjiangxiaobaobaojiedaozijihuaili，xiaobaobaoledexiaoleqilai。
“mami，niweishenmebulaizhaoyanyan？nipianren！”xiayimiao，xiaobaobaoduqixiaozui，yifuzhizedekouwenshuodao。
“wo……”shengmianmianyouxieganga，minleminchun，buzhidaogaizenmehuida。
“heng！jiranmamibuqudiedijia，neiwojiuzhuzaimamijiahaole。”huojinyanxiaozuipielepie，zhuantouduizhehuoyuhanshuodao：“diedi，douguaini！mamishuonizheiyanglengkumeilimaoderenbutaotadexihuan，ruguobushini，mamijiubuhuipaoqiyanyan。”
“什么？”
“言言！”
shengmianmianhehuoyuhanjihushiyikoutongsheng。
suihou，takanxiangta，takanxiangta，changmianyiduninggu。
“shengmianmian，zheishizenmehuishi？”huoyuhanlengzheliankanzhemianqiandenvren，yiliandeyinyu。
说他冷酷，没礼貌？
erqiehailijiantamenfuzideganqing？
“duibuqi，huozong，wo……”shengmianmiannaolenaotoufa，menzhetou，buganzaikanhuoyuhandeyanshen。
haodairenjiahuoyuhanbangtazhaodaolemuqindemudi，tashangwubuyinggaihexiaobaobaoshuoneixiehua。
“shengmianmian，nihaiyounaxiemianwomeikandaoni？”huoyuhanbijinta，yanshenyincheneryoushensui，yuqidaizheyisidejifeng。
“zhendeduibuqi，huozong，wobingbushiguyiyaozheimeshuode……”tadangshizhishiqingbuzijindetuokouerchu。
“diedi，nibuxuqifumami！”
妻子酒后越界，下场比鬼还惨
作者：天天走上
栏目：都市
zuozhe：wowudilehaizinuligen
栏目：都市
zuozhe：xiangzuobaifumeidexiaoniu
栏目：都市
假装穷小子体验生活，校花女友当众羞辱我，我摊牌了。
zuozhe：choumingzhaozhudemingzhengnvdi
栏目：都市
作者：木千
栏目：都市
一屋子亲戚逼我交出抚恤金，说我是个废物不配用
作者：加勒比海怪
栏目：都市