《juexingjiushijiyi》shixuanzhizhuzuodedoushishenghuoleixingdexiaoshuo，zuozhewenbijijia，ticaixinying，tuijianyuedu。《juexingjiushijiyi》jingcaizhangjiejiexuan：“ding！”“gongxisuzhukaiqishishishanrenxitong！”luopodewangzheyinyifenxieyiguiyinqinian，queyiwaidedao“shishishanren”xitong，tadetineijingranfengzhejiushijiyi，“gongxisuzhujuexingdisanshihediliushijiyi！”wangzheguilai，xueranjiangshan！...
xiuxilesangexiaoshizhihou，yuelaodaizhexieshangxuanzaiyiyuanpangbianchiledunfan，ranhoutajiuzuoshangyuelaodeche，qianwangneizhoulaodejiale!
kanzhezhouweideshanhaimeijing，xieshangxuanyeshixinzhongzantan，budebushuo，hangshidemeijingqueshihenmei!
yuelaozaixieshangxuanshenpangxiaozheshuodao：“zheilibianshihangshideqingyuewan，zhenggeqingyuewanzhiyouqizuoshanzhuang，meiyizuodoujiazhisanyiyishang!”
“sanyi!”xieshangxuanxinzhonganandao：“zijijianlileshisuoxiwangxiaoxue，caihualesanqianwan，zheisanyi，douzugouzijiwanchengdierrenwule!”
“zhoulaotouni，yeshigekelianren，duziheerxifuyuanbendoushikaogujiaoshou，kezaiyicikaoguhuodongzhizhong，zaiyigemuxuelimian，jiushiqulexiaoxi!”
“duliuxialaiyigesunnvgentaxiangyiweiming，zuijinzheilianggeyue，zhoulaotouyinweishengbing，yiqieshiqingdouyazaileneixiaoyatoudeshenshang，yeshikeliana!”
sijikaichejinruleyizuozhuangyuanzhizhong，menkoudeguanjiazaojiuyijingzaidenghou，xianranshizaojiujiedaoletongzhi!
yigezhongniannanziyingleshanglai：“qilao，ninlaile，laoyezaishufangdengnin，zhishilaoyedejingshenzhuangtai!”
qishanyuebailebaishou：“xiaozhonga，wozheicilaijiushiweilezhoulaotoudebinglaide，niguanzijiba，wozijiquzhaota!”
“neiqilaonisuiyi!”zhongguanjiabingmeiyouzaiyixieshangxuan，zhidangshiqishanyuedailaidexuetule!
“zheizuozhuangyuan!”xieshangxuanganjuehunshendoubushufu，tachaosizhoukanlekan，yiyanwangqu，jinshishexiangtou!
“laozhoushigaogudongshouzangde，duiyujialidefangdaoshebeidoushiyongdequanguozuidingjiande，tazheizuozhuangyuanyigongyousanbailiushiwugeshexiangtou!”
qishanyuedehuarangxieshangxuanananzashe，zheiyeweimiantaikuazhangle，danzaijinruwuzizhihou，xieshangxuanzhongyumingbaile，zheishiyidiandoubukuazhang!
zhenggefangzidejiaju，huaping，pingfengdenggezhongbaishe，jihudoushigudong，xieshangxuanxinzhongyeshizhenhan!
qishanyueduizheilihenshishuxi，daizhexieshangxuanzhijiejiushishanglesanlou，yebuqiaomen，dakaishufangdemen，zhijiezoulejinqu!
“laozhou，laozhou，wozheicikejinidailaigeshenyijinikankanle!”qishanyuegaoxingdahanleqilai!
“zhei，jiushineizhoulao?”xieshangxuangenzaishenhouzoulejinqu，jiukandaoleyigebaifacangcangdelaozhe，shuangyanaoxian，yanpifuzhong，liansecangbai，kushouruchai!
“shiqilaotoua!”zhoulaotaitoukanleqishanyueyiyan，shengyinganse，siya，meiyoubandianjingshen，zhei，wanquanjiushiyifudengsidemoyang!
xieshangxuanshenquyizhen，qishanyuebaxieshangxuanlaleguolai：“laozhou，lai，jizheishenyikankannidebing，tayoukenengyihaonideshimianzheng!”
zhoulaozheicaizhuyidaoxieshangxuan，suihouyaoleyaotou，tanxidao：“xianzaiwozheimaobingshiyuelaiyueyanzhongle，jingrandouchuxianhuanjuele!”
xieshangxuandeliansequeshimanmandebiandeningzhongleqilai，takandaole，zhoulaolianshangyouheiqihuanrao，zheigenbenjiubushishengbing!
“xuanxiaozi，nizenmekan?”qishanyuekanzhexuanmubai，xuanmubaihulekouqi：“yaoxianjizhoulaobabamai，ranhoucainengqueding!”
“yi?bushihuanjue，zhendeshigexiaojiahuo?”zhoulaojingyidekanzhexieshangxuan，erhoukanzheqishanyuexiaodao：“qilaotou，nishidaitudilailianshouma?”
“laozhou!”qishanyuenushengdao：“laotouzishineizhongrenma?lianshouyebuhuizhaoni，nixianzaizijishishenmeqingkuang，nibuzhidaoma?”
kandaoqishanyueshengqile，zhoulaocaibaibaishoudao：“haolehaole，wozheibingkanguoduoshaozhuanjiale，zhongyixiyidoukanlegebian，kanbuhaole!”
tatanxidao：“laotouzishihuobuleduojiule，niyebuyaoxiazhetengle，zheixiaojiahuohainengbineixiezhuanjialihaima?”
qishanyuewunai，kanxiangxieshangxuan，ruguobushiqinyankandaoxieshangxuanshizhanqixingxumingzhendehua，tayebuhuixiangxinxieshangxuanhuiyishu!
“zhoulaoxiansheng，ninjinlaishibushijingchangyeliduohan，shimianduomeng，erqiekouganshezao，meitianbixuhehenduoshuijieke?”
“zheixiezhengzhuang，qilaotouzaojiudouzhidaole!”
“neiqilaokendingbuzhidao，niyaohedeshibingshui，erqieshiyuebingjiuyueshufu，woshuodeduima?”
zhoulaozheicaitaitoukanxiangxieshangxuan，yanzhongyouzhejingyi，xieshangxuanhuanhuandao：“erqieqilaohaibuzhidao，nijinlaidezheixiezhengzhuangbuzhijiazhongle!”
“haichuxianleyixiexindezhengzhuang，birushuo，huijingchangkandaoyixiebuganjingdedongxi，jingshenhuanghudeshihou，haihuikandaozhanchangdesisha!”
“zuizhuyaodeshi，ninxianzaiyinggaiyijingdaxiaobianshijinle，duima?”xieshangxuandezheixiehuarangzhoulaozhijieqishen，zhenhanwubidekanzheta!
qishanyuekandaozheigeqingkuang，ruhehaibuzhidaoxieshangxuanshuodequanzhongle，tachaozhoulaotanxidao：“laozhou，nijuedewohuihainima?”
zhoulaoyaoleyaotou，qishanyuewunaidao：“zheibujiudele，wojiranshuoxuanxiaozishigeshenyi，neiziranshiqinyanjianshiguotabenshide!”
“wozheibing，youdezhima?”zhoulaokanxianglexieshangxuan，zheishihoutayoudianxiangxinxieshangxuanshizhendeyoubenshidele!
“woyaoxianbamaikankan，ninzheibinghewosuoxiangdeshibushiyiyangde!”xieshangxuanbingmeiyoudabaopiao!
“qingshenyibamai!”zhoulaoyilianzhengse，erhoushenchuleyoushou，xieshangxuanzouleguoqu，biyanhaomai!
guoleliangsanfenzhong，tacaizhengkaiyanjing，erhoukanzhezhoulao：“zhoulaopingshiyinggaihuiyouchenlian，erqiehaihenzhuzhongyangsheng，shentisuzhibiyibannianqingrendouyaohao!”
“ninhaihuidingqiquyiyuanjiancha，yizhiyilaidouyouyongbaojianpin，bushuozhangmingbaisui，zaihuogeyiershiniandoumeiyouwenti!”
“ninyinggaiyequyiyuanjianchaguo，nindeshentigegezhibiaodoushizhengchangde，yejiushishuo，zhoulaoqishibingmeiyoubing!”
“genneixierenshuodeyiyanga!”zhoulaodishengyitan，yilianshiwang：“tamenyeshuowodeshentibiputongrendouyaojiankang!”
qishanyuerenbuzhukaikoudao：“kelaozhoudeqingkuangniyekandaole，ruguozheibushishengbingdehua，tazenmehuituranbianchengzheigeyangzide?”
xieshangxuanlveweichenyin：“yixiaozikanlai，zhoulaoyinggaibushituranbianchengzheiyang，ershizaimouyitianmanmanbianchengzheiyang，ranhouyuelaiyueyanzhong!”
“nizenmezhidao?”zhoulaozhenjing，zheixietakemeiyougaosuneixieyishengde!
“zhoulaozheibushibing，ershisha!”xieshangxuanchenshengdao：“zhoulao，shibeishaqichanshenle!”
救命！我的老婆和小姨子她俩今天又换号了
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