zhujiaoshixiaotianceqinyaxuandeshumingjiao《longwanghuxu》，zheibenxiaoshuodezuozheshisanmianbafangsuobianxiededoushishenghuoxiaoshuo，neirongzhuyaojiangshu：jiangbei！yigemingjiaojiangnantingfangdezhongdangxiaoqumenkou，zhanzheyigeshencaikuiwu，hunshensanfazhetiexueshafaqixideqingniannanzi，cirenmingjiaoxiaotiance！xiaoshisannian，xiaotiancecongdangchurenrenhandadeguojielaoshu，chengzhangweidangshidiyizhanshen，quanshitaotian，fukediguo，fenghaolongwang！...
“你给我闭嘴！”
haibudengxiaotiancebahuashuowan，yuemulinmanjiuzhijiejiangqidaduan。“niyigeganggangchuyudelaji，yepeiyilunjiangbeihaomen？xiaotiance，nilianjijiangbeihaomendekuoshaoyetixiedoubupei，zhidaoma？”
duiyulinmandeshengyin，xiaotiancechongerbuwen。
“yaxuan，zhiyaonixiangxinwo，wokeyibaozheng，zheiyisheng，nibiyouwanzhangrongguangjiashen！”
duiyuxiaotiancesuoshuodewanzhangrongguang，qinyaxuangenbenbuxiangxin。
噗通。
qinyaxuanturanguizailelinmangenqinhaimianqian，chuchukeliandeaiqiudao：“ba，ma，yaxuanzheiyibeizi，yebuxiwangdafudagui，zhixiangyouyigetengwochongwodelaogong！woyuanyijixiaotianceyigejihui，qiuqiunimen，jieshouxiaotiancezheigenvxuba！”
“ruguowobudayingni？”linmanzhigaoqiang，yiliandejiansuankebo！
啪嗒！
qinyaxuanyankuanglimiandeleishui，diaoluozailecaidaozhishang！qinyaxuangengweiyonglidewojincaidao，shengyinshayadechuoqidao：“ruguonimenbudaying，rangxiaotiancezuonimendenvxu，woxianzaijiusizainimendemianqian！”
qinyaxuanyanjinglimianmanshihongxuesi，taitougenlinmansimuxiangdui！
linmanshenshendinglexiaotianceyiyan，shenqingmanshiyane。
接着……
feichangbunaifandehuishou。“suanlesuanle，quandangshijialiduoyangleyitiaogou！”
linmanmamalieliedejinwule。
“zhendeshizaoniea，jingrantanshangyigefeiwunvxu，laoniangzenmejiuzheimemingkua！yihouzouzailushangbeirenzhizhidiandian，laoniangdelaolian，kedewangnagea？”
“哎呦……”
linmanbeijiaoxiadetuobabandedaleyigelieju，chadianshuaidaozaidi，dangxia，youshizhisangmahuaidenuhouleqilai。“neigefeiwujiushisaobaxinga！tengsilaoniangle。”
duiyuxiaotianceeryan，zhiyaonengpeizaizijiqiziqinyaxuandeshenbian，jiusuanshibeilinmangenqinhaimajijuyouruhe？
当然。
ruguoshiqitaren，ganduilongwangxiaotianceyousihaobujing，zhijieyiquandasi！
“yaxuan，bacaidaojiwo！”
xiaotiancesuiranhaochengshidangshidiyizhanshen，cengjingpingjieyijizhili，tulushuwandijun！kezaizijiqiziqinyaxuanmianqian，queshiwubidewenrou！congqinyaxuanshouzhongzhuaiguocaidaozhihou，jiuganjinmangqianmanghoudejiqinyaxuandebozibaozhashangkou！
jianxiaotianceduizijirucidezhilengzhire，qinyaxuanjiyazaixindishenchudeweiqu，yidiandiankaishirongjie！
“xiaotiance，nigenwojinlai！”
qinyaxuanlazhexiaotiancedeshoubei，laidaoletadewoshi，guanshangmenzhihou，qinyaxuanzhengzhongqishidewendao：“xiaotiance，wojiranxuanzeyuanliangni，neiwomenjiushifuqi，fuqizhijianjiuyinggaitanchengxiangdai，duima？”
萧天策重重点头。
“nigaosuwo，zheicinihuilai，youshenmedasuan？”qinyaxuanxinli，yijingzhongxinranqileduimeihaoshenghuodexiangwang！
zaizijiqizimianqian，xiaotiancexinzhongruhexiang，kouzhongbianruheshuo。
“yaxuan，woyijingxianghaole，woyaorangnimenqinjia，chengweijiangbeidiyihaomen！”
tingdaoxiaotiancezheihua，qinyaxuanshenxiyikouqi，hentiebuchenggangdedao：“xiaotiance，nichengxinqiwoshibushi？niyiwusuoyoubuyaojin，ganggangchuyuyebuyaojin，woxiangxin，pingnidecaineng，zongyouyitianhuichurentoudide，danshi，nidaodishenmeshihoucainenggaigai，nishuodahuadechoumaobingni？zuoren，haishiyaojiaotashidiyidian，nihaiyiwei，xianzaishisannianqianma？xingxingba！”
xiaotiancekuxiaobudedetanletanshou。
“yaxuan，qishiwo……”
“woshenmewo，buyaozaishuonineiyitaohaoyanzhuangyule，wozhendebuxiangting！xianzai，wozhixiwangninengjiaotashididezuoren，zhaoyifenxiangyangdegongzuo，haohaonuli，ganchuyifanchengjirangwobamakan，qianwanbuyaozaizhengtianxiangneixiebuqieshijideshiqingle，keyima？”
xiaotiancezhenbuzhidao，zijigairuhegaosuqinyaxuan，zijixianzaiyijingyongyoutaotianquanshi，fukediguodecaifu！longwanglingyichu，shijiegefangdalaodouyaofushou！
看来。
zhinengdengyihouzhaodaoheshidejihui，zaigenqinyaxuantanpai！
“yaxuan，wotingnide，wokendinghuizuochuyifanchengji，rangbamaduiwoguamuxiangkande。”xiaotiancexinshidandandedao。
“hao，woxiangxinni！”qinyaxuanxinzhongweiweiyinuan！
xiaotianceqingqinglanzhuqinyaxuandejianbang，qinyaxuanmeiyoujujue。
zheigehuaibao，tayijingdenglesannianzhijiule。
但。
就在这时候……
砰砰！
linmanyongquantouzamen。“xiaotiance，jiranniyijingshiwomenqinjiadeshangmennvxule，yihoujialidejiawuhuo，jiuquandoujiaojinile，youwentima？”
咯吱！
qinyaxuandakaimen，zhudonglanhuo。“ma，xiaotiancegangganghuilai，nirangtahaohaoxiuxixiuxi！”
“xiuxishenmeaxiuxi，yigefeiwuyouzigexiuxima？ganjinqubalaoniangdeliyixile！”
“妈！”
qinyaxuanhaixiangzaijianchi，xiaotianceqingqinglanzheqinyaxuanjianbangshuodao：“meishideyaxuan，mashuodedui，woshiqinjiadeshangmennvxu，jiuyinggaizhudongbaolanjiawu！”
wanshangliudianban，linmandabandenongzhuangyanmo，chuanzheyishenhuaguidejiuhongselifu，shouzhongkuabao，zouluyaoyeshengzi，laidaoqinyaxuanfangjianmenkouhandao：“yaxuan，yanhuijiuyaokaishile，womenchufaba！”
fangjianlimian，qinyaxuanjixiaotiancezhaoleyishenxizhuangchuanshang，zhenggerenkanshangqugaodayingjun。
“ma，woxiangdaizhexiaotiance，genwomenyiqicanjiayanhui！”
“不行！”
xiaotiancechuanzhezheishenxizhuang，mingmingfeichangdeshuaiqibiren，linmanqueshishenqingbuxiedejifengdao：“renmogouyang，bulunbulei，xiaotiancezuoweishangmennvxu，youshiganggangchuyu。tajiushiwomenqinjiadechiru，yanhuidaishangta，nandao，nixiangrangdajia，xiaohuasiwomenqinjiama？”
xiaotiancetaqianyibu，lizhiqizhuangdedao：“ma，woxiaotiancehuilaile，yihou，zaijiangbeizheipiantudi，meiyourenheyigeren，danganxiaohuazanmenqinjia！”
zuozhe：wowudilehaizinuligen
栏目：都市
zuozhe：xiangzuobaifumeidexiaoniu
栏目：都市
假装穷小子体验生活，校花女友当众羞辱我，我摊牌了。
zuozhe：choumingzhaozhudemingzhengnvdi
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栏目：都市
一屋子亲戚逼我交出抚恤金，说我是个废物不配用
作者：加勒比海怪
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作者：小可乐多
栏目：都市
