老物件成精后我社死了椰汁小剑-著

小说简介

《laowujianchengjinghouwoshesile》shiyibukuayueshikongdeduanpianyanqingxiaoshuo，jiangshulelinxiaomandejingxianmaoxianzhilv。linxiaomanshigeputongren，danzaiyicitufashijianhou，tafaxianzijinenggouchuanyuebutongdeshidai。zaiyezhixiaojiandebixia，linxiaomanlijingzhongzhongmonan，mianduizhexieeshilideweixie，tongshiyefaxianlezijineixindeyongqiheliliang。gongzihaidi，shangcituanjianqujiaoqupashan，lizongjuranrangtamenzijidaiganliang，meiqimingyue「tiyanshenghuo」。lizongzhanzaitouyingmubuqian，tuomohengfeidijiangzhe「yonghuzeng……jiangdailingduzhechuanyueshikong，chenjinzaizheigelingrenshenwangdeshijiezhong。

精彩章节

1xuanguanguizhonglinxiaomanfaxianjialibuduijingneitian，beijinggangxiaguoyichangqiuyu，

kongqilipiaozhehutongshenchuliangyishengshangdefeizaowei。tadiaozhebanpiantusiwangmenkouchong，jiaohougenkazaituoxieli，

zhenggerenliangqiangzhezhuangzaixuanguanjushang——judingneipenshangzhoubeitawangjiaoshuikuchengganchaidelvluo，yezijuranzhanlezhan，

xiangshizaibiexiao。dantameixinsiguanlvluo。ditieqidianershifache，xianzaiqidianlingwu，

chidaoyaokouwushikuaiquanqinjiang，neikeshitaliangtiandefanqian。「dong——dong——」liangshengmenxiangturanzazaiermoshang，

bushipingshinaozhongdedianziyin，shidaizhemutougongmingdehouzhongsheng，xiangcongqiangfenglizuanchulaiside，haiguailegewaner。

linxiaomanjiangzaiyuandi，tusicongzuilidiaoxialai，huangyoucengzaimiseditanshang，yunkaiyixiaopianhuang。tahuanhuanzhuantou，

dingzhelizaixuanguanjiaoluodelaozuozhong。neishiyeyeliuxiadehongmuzuozhong，zhongmianbolizhaofanhuang，

bianyuanhailiuzhetaxiaoshihouyongqianbihuadewaiwainiuniude「man」zi，pingshiliudianzhenghui「dangdang」liangxiabaoshi，

jingzhundexiangxiaoqumenkoudechenlianguangbo。kexianzai，zhizhenwenwentingzai7:05，miaozhen「kadakada」zouzhe，

fangfogangcaineishengdaizhehutongdayeqiangdiaodemaiyuan，zhishitaaoyegaipptchuxiandehuanting。

「kendingshitaileile。」linxiaomanwanyaojianqitusi，pailepaishangmiandehuiyousaihuizuili，hanhubuqingdidunang，

「zaiaoliangzhou，dengfalegongzijiuqu**。」tazhuazhebaochongchumen，

loudaolideshengkongdengsuizhejiaobushengliangleyoumie，quemeitingjianshenhouzuozhonglichuanlaideyishengqingchi：「zheixiaozi，

haishizheimemaozao。」wanshangshiyidian，linxiaomandingzheheiyanquanhuidaojia，

ditieshangbeirenjidechenshanlingkouzhouchenglexiancai，

shoulizuanzhedewaimaihedoubianlexing——shilouxiakuaicandiandeyuxiangrousigaifan，mifanyingdexiangshizi，

rousishaodenengshuqing。tabawaimaihe「pa」dishuaizaicanzhuoshang，gangyaosikaiyicixingkuaizi，

toudingturanyouchuanlaineishuxide、manbanpaide「dong——dong——」。zheicideshengyingengqingchule，

haidaizhedianwunai：「xiaohuozi，waimaiyoutaida，zaoshangwojiniwenlezhou，tangcigangzizhuangde，jidexi。」

linxiaomandeshoudunzaibankong，kuaizibaozhuangzhisidaoyiban，luchudemukuaijianxuanzaibankong。tamanmantaitou，

muguangsaoguoketing，zuihoudinggezaichufangmenkou——zaotaishang，zhenjiubaizhegeyinzhe「weirenminfuwu」

dejiutangcigang，gangkouhaimaozhebaiqi，mixianghunzhedandandejiangweipiaoguolai，zuanjinbiqiangli，

goudetaweiliyizhenfanteng。neishinainaidetangcigang。gangkouyougexiaoquekou，shitashisuineinianshuaide，

dangshinainaimeimata，zhishiyongmianbucalecaquekou，shuo「yihouyongzhexiaoxindian，zheigangzibinisuishudouda」。

linxiaomanyibubunuodaochufang，shenshoupenglepengtangcigang——wende，butangzui，ganghaonenghe。taduanqigangzi，

heleyikouzhou，miliruannuo，xiandanganghao，jiangweiyadehenqing，zhenghaozhonghelewaimaideyouni。zheiweidao，

hexiaoshihouyeyelingchenwudianqilaiaodezhouyimoyiyang。yanleituranjiuyongleshanglai，bushigandong，shiede，

yeshixiangjiade。tamolebalian，zhuantoukanxiangxuanguandezuozhong：「nin……shiyeye？」「kada。」

zuozhongdezhizhenqingqingtiaoleyixia，xiangshitanlekouqi，shengyincongzhongbaidefangxiangchuanchulai：「buranni？

niyiweishilouxiamaibaozidewangdaye？ganjinhezhou，liangleyoudemawo。」

linxiaomandangchangbiaoyanleyigeyuandishihua+linghunchuqiaoerheyi。tajinnianershiwu，zaihulianwanggongsizuoyunying，

tiantianjiabandaolingchen，dujuzaiyeyeliuxiadelaofangzili，wulianai，wushejiao，

weiyidehuowushineipenkuaikusidelvluo。kexianzai，yigehuishuofangyan、huiaozhou、haihuitucaodezuozhong，

gaosuta——tashitaqushiwuniandeyeye？zheiqingjie，

bitashangzhoukande《chuanyuechengtaijianhouwodengjile》hailipu。tagangxiangzaiwendianshenme，ketingdechoutituran「peng」

didankai，yifulaohuajingfeilechulai，jingpianduizhetadeetouzhaolezhao，chuanlaiyigecanglaodenvsheng，

daizhedianchenguai：「waziyouluanreng！chuangdixianeizhibiezhiwangwojinijian，zijiqu！」linxiaoman：「……nainai？

」laohuajinghuanglehuang，piaohuichoutili，liuxiayiju：「feihuashaoshuo，chiwanbagangxiganjing！

buranxiacibujinirezhoule。」2laowuxianlingneiyiye，linxiaomantangzaichuangshang，zhengyandaolingchensandian。

tadingzhetianhuabanshangdediaodeng，xiangqixiaoshihouyeyezuozaitengyishang，daizhezheifulaohuajingkanbaozhi，

nainaizaichufangaozhou，tangcigang「gudugudu」maoreqidechangjing。yuanlaineixietayiweiyijingxiaoshiderizi，

douzangzaizheixielaowujianli，dengzhezhaogejihui，zaihuidaotashenbian。diertianzaoshangliudianban，linxiaomanhaimeixing，

jiubeiyizhen「dongdongdong」deqiaozhongshengchaoxing。tafanlegeshen，babeizimengzhutou，dunangzhe「zaishuiwufenzhong」，

jieguoxiayimiao，yigeyingwu「dong」dizazaitazhenbian，jianletayilianshui。「qilaichizaofan！

jidanlianglemeirenjinizhongzhu！」shinainaideshengyin。linxiaomanmengdizuoqilai，

faxianchuangtoujushangbaizheneigetangcigang，limianpaozhegouqishui，pangbianhaiyougebohaodechayedan，

danbaishanghailiuzhezhijiayin——shinainaibodandexiguan，zongxihuanyongzhijiaqiagexiaokou，zaiyidiandiansixialai。

「sheifangde？！」tajingjiao。「wo！」tangcigangzijibengleyixia，gangdikezaichuangtoujushang，fachuqingcuidexiang，

「ninainaijiaowode，zaocanyaoyingyangjunheng！kafeijiele！heideshangwei！」

linxiaomankanzheganglipiaozhedesankegouqi，yukuwulei。tazuotiangangmaileyizhengheguaerkafei，haimeichaifengni。

tachongjinchufangxiang「zijiu」，gangcongjuzilinachukafeidou，shoulidemakebeituran「kuangdang」

yishengbeizhuangfan——zhengshineigetangcigang，buzhidaoshenmeshihoupiaoleguolai，jingzhundixianfanlemakebei，

hesedekafeifensaleyidi。「hezheigemeiyong！wojinipaolegouqi，fangchajishangle，hongde，buqixue。」

nainaideshengyinconggangdichuanlai，lizhiqizhuang，yidianmeijuedezijizuocuole。linxiaomankanzhemandidekafeifen，

youkankanchajishangneibeimaozhereqidegouqishui，turanjuedezijibushiduju，shiqinglelianggezuzonghuijia。

tadunzaidishangjiankafeifen，zuilidigu：「zaozhidaozheiyang，dangchujiubugaibanimenliuxia。」「nigan！」

zuozhongdeshengyincongxuanguanchuanlai，daizhediannuqi，「zheifangzishiwogaide，nixiaozixiangganwozou？」

linxiaoman：「……bugan。」gengjuedehaizaihoumian。tahuanxiedeshihou，zenmedouzhaobudaoyoujiaoneizhiwazi，

fanbianleyijuchouti，lianxiyijilidoukanle，haishimeizhaodao。yankanjiuyaochidao，tajidezhiduojiao，

chadianbadibancaichukeng。turan，neifulaohuajingcongshuzhuochoutilifeilechulai，jingpianduizhechuangdisaoleliangquan，

fachuyizhendeyide「kada」sheng：「zaizheierni！zuotiannitichuangdixiale，haishuowazizhangtuile。」

linxiaomanganjindunxiaqu，shenshouwangchuangdimo，guoranmodaoleyizhiwazi，

wajianhaizhanzhegenqianzongsedemaomao——ketajiagenbenmeimao。「nalaidemao？」tanazhewazi，yiliankunhuo。

「gebiyangtaicengguolaide。」laohuajingpiaodaotamianqian，jingpianliyingchutazhejidelian，

「xiaciliangyifujideguanchuang，buranhaidediuwazi。」linxiaoman：「……nimenhai**xiaoqujiankong？」

laohuajing：「niyeyeshuo，zuorenyaoyanguanliulu，ertingbafang，buranrongyichikui。」tabaozhebaochongchumen，

xinlifashi：jinwanyidingyaogenzheixie「laoqianbei」yuefasanzhang。bunengganshetadeyinshi！bunengguantadezuoxi！

gengbunengzaitabuzhidaodeshihou「jianshi」ta！fouzetachizaoyaobeidangchengjingshenbing，beitongshijiaquandingyiyuan。

3mishishenzhuketawanwanmeixiangdao，zheixielaowujian，genbenbuzaihutazenmexiang。tamenzhizaihu：linxiaoman，

bixuhaohaohuozhe。napayongjinshouduan，yeyaobatacong「aoyecusiyubeiyi」lahui「jiankangzhongguohaoqingnian」

deguidaoshang。erzhei，jinjinshigekaishi。bumenlihuidingzaimeizhousanxiawuliangdian，leidabudong。

linxiaomanzuozaihuiyishidisanpai，zuobianshizongaimoyudexiaowang，youbianshijuanwanglili，bijibendiannaodakaizhe，

pingmushangshilizongfadeq2zengzhangcelveppt，

shizehoutaitoutoukailegezhaopinwangzhan——tayijingtoulesanjiaxingongsi，jianligaidetianhualuanzhui，

jiudengofferyidao，limatitongpaolu。bijingzheipoban，sheiaishangsheishang。tiantianjiabanbushuo，

gongzihaidi，shangcituanjianqujiaoqupashan，lizongjuranrangtamenzijidaiganliang，meiqimingyue「tiyanshenghuo」。

lizongzhanzaitouyingmubuqian，tuomohengfeidijiangzhe「yonghuzengzhangbihuan」，pptfandaodishiqiye，

linxiaomandeyanpiyijingkaishidajia。tazuowangaifangandaolingchensidian，xianzainaozihunchenchende，

mannaozidoushi「zaijianchibanxiaoshi，jiunengquchashuijianmoyu」。jiuzaizheishi——「weng。」

shoujituranzhenleyixia，fangzaizhuoxiadetuidounengganjuedaozhendongdepinlv。linxiaomanxinliyijin，

yiweishihrhuifuxiaoxile，ganjinditou，yongbijibendangzhu，toutoudiankaiweixin。

fajianren：weizhihaoma（******）neirong：【xiaohuozi，kaihuikuaiyixiaoshile，gaiqucesuomoyule，

nilaobankanniyanshendouzhile，bieyingcheng。】linxiaoman：「？？？」tadeshouzhidunzaipingmushang，tongkongdizhen。

zheihaomashiluanma，jibushitacundelianxiren，yebushizhaopinwangzhandehr，

gengbushizhapianduanxinchangyongde「106」kaitouhaoma。keneiyuqi，nei「xiaohuozi」sangezideqinqiegan，

haiyouzheijingzhunde「moyutixing」，zenmekandouxiang……tamengditaitou，zhenghaozhuangshanglizongdemuguang。

lizongqueshizhengdingzheta，shoulizuanzheneizhiyinzhegongsilogodegangbi，meitouweiweizhouzhe，

yanshenlidaizhedian「nishibushimeirenzhenting」dezhiyi。「linxiaoman，nitingdongwoshuodema？」lizongturankaikou，

shengyinbuda，querangzhenggehuiyishishunjiananjingxialai。suoyoutongshideshixian「shua」dijujiaodaolinxiaomanshenshang，

xiaowanghaitoutouyonggebozhoupenglepengta，zuixingbilege「jiayou」。linxiaomandelenghanyixiazijiuxialaile，

houbeidechenshandoushileyipian，taqiangzuozhending，qingleqingsangzi：「ting……tingdongle，

ninshuodeshiyonghuzengzhangbihuan，yaodatongsiyuliuliangchi，ranhoutongguoshequnyunyingtishengfugoulv……」tayibianshuo，

yibianzainaozilifengkuangsouguazuowankandepptneirong，xinghaopingshijiabanmeibaijia，hainengmengduijiju。

lizongdiandiantou，meizaizhuiwen，jixujianghoumiandeneirong。linxiaomansonglekouqi，xinzangquehaizai「pengpeng」kuangtiao。

tazhandouzheshoudiankaifajianrenxinxi，xiangkankannengbunengzhaodaodianxiansuo，jieguoyemianxianshi「haomayichang，

wufachakangengduoxinxi」。tayaozheya，taochuerji，jiazhuangtinghuiyiluyin，bashengyindiaodaozuixiao，

duizheerjidishengnuhou：「yeye！wobushishuohaolebiegenzhewoqugongsima？！nizaizheiyang，

wozhendeyaobeidangchengshenjingbingle！」huayingangluo，shoujiyouzhenleyixia。zheicishitiaocaixin，fudaiyizhangzhaopian。

zhaopianpaideshilizongdebangongzhuo，toumingshounahelifangzheyibaocaihongruantang，jiaoduxiangshicongchuanghuwaimianpaide。

wenzi：【wocongchuanghukanjiande，nilaobanzhuoshangyoubaotang，denghuiersanhuijideyaoyike，tiande，titishen。

nizuotianmeishuihao，chidiantiandenenghuanguolai。】linxiaoman：「……」tataitoukanxianghuiyishijiaoluodechuanghu，

chuanghushiguanzhede，hailazhebaiyechuang，genbenkanbudaowaimian。zaikanxianglizongdebangongzhuo——guoran，

toumingshounahelifangzheyibaocaihongruantang，haishitaxiaoshihouzuiaichidepaizi。takuaifengle。

zheizuozhongdaodishizenmekandaode？nandaohainengchuanqiangbucheng？huiyijieshude**zhongyuxiangle，lizongheshangbijiben，

shuo：「dajiahuiqubajintiandeneirongzhengliyixia，mingtianshangbanqianfawoyouxiang。」tongshimenluxuqishen，

xiaowangpailepailinxiaomandejian：「zoua，quchashuijianchongkafei。」linxiaomanyouyuleyixia，

haishiyingzhetoupizouxianglizongdebangongzhuo。lizongzhengshoushiwenjian，kandaotaguolai，lengleyixia：「linxiaoman，

youshi？」「lizong，」linxiaomandeshouzaishenhoumianzuanchenglequan，shengyinyoudianfazhan，「neng……nengjiwoketangma？

zuijinyoudianlei，xiangtitishen。」lizongxianshijingya，suijixiaole，congshounahelinachuneibaoruantang，

daoleliangkezaitashouli，yikecaomeiwei，yikejuziwei：「yo，taiyangdaxibianchulaile？

nipingshibushizuitaoyantianshima？shangcituanjianwofentang，nihaishuo『chitianderongyipang』。」

「ke……zuijinkouweibianle。」linxiaomangangadixiaolexiao，jieguotang，zhuanshenjiuwanghuiyishiwaimianpao，

shengpalizongzaiwendianshenme。gangpaochuhuiyishi，tajiubatangsaijinzuili，caomeiweidetianweizaizuilisankai，

queshibikafeiguanyong。tataochushouji，duizhepingmudihou：「yeye！nixiacinengbunengbieguanwodeshile？！

lizongdouhuaiyiwole！」shoujipingmuliangleyixia，haishineigeweizhihaoma：【wozheishiweilenihao。

nishangcizaigongsiyundao，haishiworangxiaowangsongniquyiyuande，wangle？】linxiaomanlengzhule。quniandongtian，

talianxujiabanyizhou，zaihuiyishiyundao，shixiaowangsongtaqudeyiyuan。dangshitahaiyiweishixiaowangpengqiaokandaole，

yuanlai……「nacishini？」tadishengwen。【buranniyiweixiaowangneimehaoxin？

tadangshizhengduozailoutijianmoyuni，shiwoqiaoleqiaoloutijiandechuanghu，tacaifaxiannide。

】linxiaomandexinlituranyoudiannuan。tayizhiyiweizijishiyigerenzaikang，quemeixiangdao，

yeyeyizhizaitoutouzhaoguta。tazoudaochashuijian，meichongkafei，ershijielebeiwenshui，

balingyikejuziweideruantangfangjinzuili。xiaowangcouguolai：「nijintianzenmehuishi？jurangenlizongyaotangchi，

haibuhekafeile？」「meishenme，」linxiaomanxiaolexiao，「jiushijuede，tiandebikudehao。」zhouwuxiawu，

gongsizuzhituanjian，quwanmishitaotuo。linxiaomanbenlaibuxiangqu，kelizongshuo「quanyuanbixucanjia，

bucanjiakoujixiao」，tazhihaogenzhequle。mishitaotuodianzaishangchangdefuyilou，zhuangxiudeyinsensende，

menkouhaibaizhelianggekuloutoumoxing，hedelilijianjiaozheduozaixiaowangshenhou。tongshimenfenchengleliangzu，

yizuquwan「yiyuanjinghun」，lingyizuquwan「guzhaiguishi」。linxiaomanbeifendaole「guzhaiguishi」zu，

gangzoujinmishi，jiubeiyigumeiweiqiangdekesou——mishilibuzhichenglelaozhaizideyangzi，

qiangshangguazhetunsedezihua，jiaoluolibaizhepojiudejiaju，denghuminghuan，haishibushichuanlaiyizhennvrendekusheng。

「zheiyetaiherenleba！」tongzudeshixishengxiaozhangbaozhegebo，shengyindouzaidou。linxiaomanyeyoudianpa，

tacongxiaojiupahei，gengbieshuozheizhongyinsendedifangle。tazhengxiangzhaogejiekouchuqu，

erbianturanchuanlaiyeyedeshengyin：「biepa，zheizhongjiguanwodangnianxiushouyinjideshihoujianduole，doushihurende。」

linxiaoman：「？？？」tagangxianghuiying，qianfangdedibanturan「ka」dixianxiaquyikuai，

luchuyigeheiyouyoudedongkou，tongzuderenhedejianjiaozhewanghoutui，xiaozhangchadianshuaizaidishang。

linxiaomanquezhanzhemeidong。yinweitakandao，neifulaohuajingcongtadekoudailifeilechulai，xuanfuzaitayanqian，

jingpianfanzheyiquanweiguang，xiangsaomiaoyiyiyangsaoguodimian。【xianjingzaizuoqianfangsanbu，caiyoubiandeshiban，

biecaizuobiande。】nainaideshengyincongjingpianlichuanchulai，henzhending。linxiaomanyouyuleyixia，

haishianzhaonainaishuode，wangyoubianzouleyibu。guoran，jiaoxiadeshibanwenwende，meiyouxianxiaqu。

tazaiwangqianzouliangbu，yikuaianmenturandakai，luchuyigexiaohezi，

limianfangzheyibatongyaochi——shijiekaixiayigefangjiandexiansuo。「wa！linxiaomanniyetailihaileba！」

xiaozhangjidongditiaoqilai，「nizenmezhidaozheiliyoujiguande？」「zhijue。」linxiaomanmianwubiaoqingdishuo，

xinliquezaifengkuangpaoxiao：「shiwonainaidelaohuajinggaosuwode！！」jiexialaideguanka，

laohuajingjianzhichengle「tongguanshenqi」。kandaoqiangshangdexuezi，laohuajinghuitixing「neishiyongfanqiejiangxiede，

cayixiajiunengkandaohoumiandemima」；yudaoxuyaojiekaisuanpanmimadeguanka，

laohuajinghuishuo「niyeyeyiqianjiaoguonisuanpan，koujueshi『sanxiawuchuer』，suanyixiajiuzhidaole」

；shenzhizaizuihouyigefangjian，xuyaozhaodaozangzaihuapinglideyaochishi，

laohuajinghaihuijingzhundingwei：「zaizuobiandiergehuapingli，limianhaiyouzhijiazhizhu，biebeihedao。」

tamenzudiyigetongguan，npc**jiejuzhejishiqi，yilianzhenjing：「nimenyetaikuaileba！

zheishiwomendiankaiyeyilaizuikuaidejilu！」tongshimenweizhelinxiaoman，qizuibashediwentashibushijingchangwanmishi，

linxiaomanzhinenghanhudishuo「yiqianwanguojici」。xiaowangpaizhetadejian：「keyiaxiaolin，

pingshikannimenbuhangshengde，meixiangdaozheimelihai，xiacituanjianhaigenniyizu！」

linxiaomankuxiao：「xiaciwohaishiqingjiaba。」huiqudelushang，tazuozaigongjiaochehoupai，taochushouji，

jineigeweizhihaomafaletiaoxiaoxi：【xiexienainai。】meiguoduojiu，shoujihuifule：【genninainaikeqishenme。

buguoxiacibiewanzheimeherendele，niyeyegangcaidouhedebazhongbaihuangdiaole。