zaihebusuifengqidexiaoshuo《nitulaizifenmu》zhong，liumanglingqingzhushiyiweitiancaikexuejia。tadeyanjiuyinfaleyichangchaonenglibaofaxianxiang，renleishehuixianruhunluanzhizhong。liumanglingqingzhumianlinzhedaodeyulunlidekunjing，tongshiyeyaodiyulaizizhengfuheeshilidezhuibu。zheibudoushishenghuoxiaoshuochongmankejiyuansuhedaodekaoyan，yijiduirenxingdesikao，dierzhangbanyerangworengkouhongtingdaozheijuhua，womaikaidejiaobudoushiyidun。shenmeshihouyoubierenjinlaile？wosichuzhangwang，kuanchangdedixiashi，kongkongdangdang，genbenmeikan....jiangyinfaduzheduiweilaideshensi。
dierzhangbanyerangworengkouhong
tingdaozheijuhua，womaikaidejiaobudoushiyidun。
shenmeshihouyoubierenjinlaile？
wosichuzhangwang，kuanchangdedixiashi，kongkongdangdang，genbenmeikandaoyigeshenying。
wotoupiyoudianfama，daheleyisheng：“daodishishei？biezangzhe！ganjinchulai！”
“woshisheiyongdezhegaosunima？nibawodedongxishuaihuailehaiganzheimexiaozhang？”
gangcaishuohuadenvshengjiechale。
摔坏了她的东西？
kanlaigangcaineigeciwawashitadele。
可她在哪里？
为什么没看到她？
guanjianshi，woliantadeshengyincongnagefangxiangchuanlaidedouquedingbule。
zheigengrangwolianxiangdaonaoguideshiqing。
woganshuo，zheihuiwodexintiao，shicongwochushengyilaitiaodezuikuaideshihou。
woqiangxingwenzhuqingxu：“suiranwobushiguyishuaihuaide，danshuaihuainidedongxi，dequeshiwodecuo。”
“buguo，nizongdexianchulairangwodangmianhenishangliangpeichangdeshiqingba？”
shuozhe，woyousichuzhangwang，qituxunzhaodaota。
rangwowuyudeshi，tameihaoqidelaileyiju：“nishibushiyoumaobing，shuohuadeshihounaodaihuanglaihuangquzuoshenme？”
我的天！
wozheinalishimaobing，fenmingshitaixiangzhaodaotale。
tazaibuchulaidehua，wozhenyaoyiweitashiguile。
“womeimaobing，wozhishizaizhaoni。”
“找我？”
tahengleyisheng：“neinibaifenbaiyoumaobing，yinweinishibukenengzhaodaowode。”
妈呀！
zheihuazhijiejiwohedetuiruanle，youzhongxiangyaoniaokuzideqiangliechongdong。
woshenshoufuzhepangbiandeyitailaojiushebei，qiaoqiaotunleyikoukoushui，qieshengshengdewendao：“dajie......nigaibuhuishiguiba？”
“nijianguowozheimekeaideguima？”
呼！
bushiguijiuhao，wozhangzhangdesongleyikouqi。
kanlaiyinggaishimougediaopinvshengzaiezuojugaowo。
wofadoudeshuangtui，shunjianhuifulezhengchang，zhongxinzhanzhiwendao：“neinishishei？nagexide？”
“wobushigui，woshiyao。”
tajilezheimeyigehuida。
噗通！
wogangganghuifudeshuangtui，mengdiyizhan，zhijieguizaidishangle。
“nishuaihuailewodedongxi，bieyiweikegetoujiumeishile！”
taneilengbingbingdeshengyin，zaicixiangcheqilai，haoxianglaizidiyushenchuyiyang，buduanchongjizhewodeshenjing。
wohoubeisousoumaozhelengfeng，jipigedayediaoleyidi，jihukuaikuchulaideshuodao：“yaonv......bushi，yaojie，wozhendecuole，nijiufangguowoba，womashangqujinimaiyidaduiwanjuhuilaihaobuhao？”
“wodeciwawashineixiepowanjunengxiangtibinglundema？nimaizaiduodoubukenengbideguo，dankanzainixiaguidaoqiandefenshang，zheibizhangkeyihoumianzaihenisuan。”
tashuohuadeyuqi，bigangcaihaoyixiele，meiyouneimelengbingbingle。
wolengleyixia：“nibujijiaole？”
suirantayuanwangwoxiaguidaoqian，danwoyijingwusuoweile。
zhiyaonengrangwoanquanlikaizheili，bieshuoyuanwangwoxiaguidaoqianle，jiusuanshuowoshitadezougouyemeiwentia！
tingdaowozheimewen，tadeyuqiyoulengbingbingle：“kanlainixiwangwojijiao，neiwobanichilezenmeyang？”
“biebiebie，woderouhenchou，yaojienibuhuixihuande，wozheijiugundan，xiacizailaijiniqingan！”
worumengdashe，meixiangdaotazhendasuanfangwoyima。
yaozhidao，dianyinglimiandeyaomoguiguai，doushifeichangxiongcandeneizhong，bopichoujin，shengtunhuobo，shizaitaichangjianle。
wosatuipaodebituzihaikuai，yiliuyandechongchudixiashi，youmabutingtidechongchushiyandalou。
zheihuitianyijingchediheile，yueliangyechulaile。
wotaitoukanleyiyanyueliang，xinqingzheicaishaoweiandinglexialai。
xiangdaogangcaideshi，woyouzhongzuoleyigeemengdeganjue。
dangangcaiqueshijiwohehuaile，niaojibiedebuxing，woganjinchaofujindecesuopaoqu。
jieguogangpaoliangbu，neinvshengyouzaiwoerduolixiangqi：“niyaoqunali？”
wojiaobuyoushiyidun，shentibushoukongzhidedaleyigelengzhan，zhanzhanweiweidewendao：“yaojie，bushishuohaoxianfangwoyimama？nizenmehaigenzhewo......”
tahensuiyidehuidao：“shixianfangniyimaa，kezheishinibawoconglimiandaichulaide。”
woyilianmeng：“wozenmebanidaichulaile？”
tashuo：“yinweiwojiuzainishenshangde。”
靠！
wotuiyoushiyiruan，yi**zuozaidishang。
zheixiazaiyebiebuzhule，zhijieniaolekuzi。
“nidanzizenmezheimexiao？juranhaiheniaokuzile！”
woquedingtabushizhihuiyonglengbingbingdeyuqishuohuale，haihuiyongchaofengdeyuqi！
作孽啊！
congxiaodaoda，woliumangheshizheimediurenguo？
danheniaozhihou，woyehuiguoshenlaile。
zheigeshijieshang，naliyoushenmeyaomoguiguai？
genghekuang，wohaishiyigedaxuesheng，shouguogaodengjiaoyu，qinengxiangxinzheixiebukexuededongxi？
woxiang，kendingshisheizaiwoshenshangzangleyigeduijiangji，ranhouzaiyongbianshenqilaixinongwo。
xiangdaozheili，wokaishizaishenshangdongmoxizhaoqilai。
“你找什么？”
“he，zhaoshenme？dangranshizhaoduijiangji，woxianshenming，dengwozhaochulai，buguannihewoyouduohaodeguanxi，doubieguaiwofanlian！”
“duijiangji？nijuranbuxiangxinwozainishenshang？”
“nijuedewoshishazima？”
我语气非常坚定。
“xing，neiworangnijianshiyixia。”
她这么说了一句。
ranhou，wojiuganjue**houmian，haoxiangyourudongdejixiang。
woganjinhuitoukanleyiyan，dunshikandaoyitiaobaisedeyingzi，maorongrongde，haoxiangmaomideweiba，zaiwo**houpiaolaipiaoqu。
jibianzheimaoweibayoudiantouming，rutonghuanxiangneiban，kewozhenzhenqieqiedeganshoudaotaqueshicunzai。
erqie，haishicongwo**shangzhangchulaide！
woganjuenaodaitianxuandizhuan，putongyishengzaidaozaidi。
wentishi，wozheimeshuaidao，juranhaimeiyun，tounaohaiqingxingdehen。
救命！
我想晕啊！
“这下相信了？”
neixuhuandemaomiweibayijingshouhuiqule，tafachuyizhengagadexiaosheng，sihuyouzaixiaowodanxiao。
zheidouqinyanmudule，wohainengbuxinma？
wozheihuinaohailizhiyouyigeniantou——xianghuijia！
woyaohuiqugaosuwoma，wobuxiangzhangda，buxiangshangxue，gengbuxiangbangxiaohuaqunahengfu！
“wei！danzizheimexiao，wozhenhuaiyinishibushigenanren？”
“nanrenyeyoucuiruodeyimian......”
wokusangzhelian：“wodanxiao，wopasi，woxinzangbuhao，ninengbunengbiezaiwoshenshanga？”
“当然，不能。”
她很干脆的拒绝了。
wozhenkuaikule：“weishenme？”
tahuidao：“yinweinishuaihuailewodeciwawaa！”
“woshuolepeini，shinizijibuyaoa......”
“nipeidedaitibule，zaishuole，neishiwozhudedifang，xianzaibeinishuaihuaile，womeidifangzhu，kendingyaozhunishenshang。”
好家伙......
zheibushimingmuzhangdanpengcima？
womanliantongku：“yaojie，neinidasuanzhuduojiu？”
tagagayixiao：“neidekanwoxinqing，xinqinghaole，wojiubuzhule。”
干！
neiniyongyuanxinqingbuhao，qibushiyaoyizhidaiwoshenshang？
dangran，zheizhonghuawokendingbukenengzhiyanbuhuideduitashuochulai。
woweiwandewendao：“neiniyaozenyangcaihuixinqinghao？”
tashuolesangezi：“buzhidao。”
妈的！
完全不讲道理啊！
“neinizongyinggaiyougedagaide......”
woyijuhuahaimeishuowan，xiongkoushangjiuchuanchuyizhencacashengyin。
ranhou，woganjuexiongkou**ladeteng。
wobugandanwu，ganjinlakaichenyi。
dunshijiukandaoxiongkouchuxianlejitiaoxuehen，rutongbeifenglidezhuazinaole。
“zenmehuishi？sheizhuadewo？”
“dangranshiwozhuade，zheizhishijiniyigexiaojiaoxun，zailuolibasuo，wojiurangnitiyanyixiawanziqianhong。”
“万紫千红？”
“jiushirangnimanlianxuehua！”
敢不敢再毒一点？
我真服了啊。
jiusuanwolianpihenhou，danyebukenenghoudaodangzhutaneifenglidezhuazi。
de，zheixiazhinengxiancongle。
buguo，wokendingyoubanfarangtazijuelikai。
biruwocongjintiankaishijiubuxizaole。
wojiubuxiangxintanengrenshouyouzangyouchoudezhuchu！
我要活活恶心死她！
zheimeyixiang，woxinqingyemeineimebeiguanle。
wozhanqishenwanghuizou，bianzoubianshuo：“xianjinishuoyisheng，wodeshiyouxihuanshenmedou**deshuijue，nibuhuijieyideba？”
“无所谓。”
tahenmeiganqingdehuidalesangezi。
“那就好。”
我低着头往宿舍冲。
bijingkuziyijingniaoshile，qimayaoxianhuanyitiao。
lushangwohetayizhizaixiaoshengjiaoliu。
hetashuxizhihou，wohaoxiangduitayemeiyouneimehaipale。
“duile，nishishenmeyao？”
“zhenchun，nimeikandaogangcaidemaoweibama？”
“haoba，yuanlaishimaoyao。”
“cuo，bushimaoyao，shijiumingmaoyao！”
tajiazhongleyuqi，haoxiangtebiezihao，tebielebuqi。
wokantazheihuiqingxuhaibijiaowending，lianmangwentajiumingmaoyaoshibushiyoujiutiaomingdeyisi？
tahenzhijiedehuilewo：“bushijiutiaoming，weishenmeyaojiaojiumingmaoyao？nizenmezheimechuna？”
woyouwendao：“duile，niyoumingzima？wozongbunengyizhihanniyaojieba？”
tashuodao：“wojiaoxiaochan，haotingba？”
wodiandiantou：“haoting。”
xinlixiangdequeshi，zaihaotingyemeiyoulingqingzhuhaoting。
huidaosushe，wohuanlekuzi，gubushangxi，zhijiequyangguangshebangongshizhaolingqingzhu。
jieguo，tabuzai，hailiuleyizhangzhi，shangmianxiezheyoushixianzoule，hengfunahuilaifangpangbianjiuhao。
wobahengfufangzaizhuozishang，kandaopangbianyouyizhikouhong。
“应该是她的吧？”
woyanzhuyizhuan，xinxiangzheishiyigefeichanghaodedashanjihui。
womashangbianjiyitiaoduanxinjilingqingzhufaguoqu，wenzheizhikouhongshibushitaluoxiade，xuyaowozheihuisongguoquma？
pianketajiuhuiduanxinle，shuoshitade，wangjidaizoule。
rangwoxianbangtashouhao，shengdebangongshimeisuomenbeibierennazou。
woyouwentamingtianshenmeshihoujita，tashuotushuguanzaoshangjiudian。
woxinliledebuxing，nvshenrangwobangmangshouhaodongxi，haibajiaojiedidianyuezaitushuguan。
neiwojiukeyiguangmingzhengdapeinvshenkanshulea！
shouhaokouhong，wojuedezijidetaohuayunyaolaile，yigaoxing，lianshenshangyouyizhijiumingmaoyaodouwangjile。
xiaochanyeyizhimeishuohua，zhidaowoshuijueqian，tahaishimeidongjing。
wojuedetakenengshibuyuanyihesigenanrendaizaiyigefangjian，gujiyijingtoumomozoule。
meixiangdao，banyedeshihou，tajiubawonongxingle。
yuanlaimeizou......
我太失望了。
tadeshengyinyouzaiwoerduolixiangqi，chongmanleyansuherenzhen。
“wozhiqianshuizhele，haimeizhuyinicongshenmedifangnalaiyizhikouhong，woyaojinishuoqingchu......”
woshuidezhengshufu，xinxiangtashibushiwuhuizheizhikouhongshinalaisongjitade，lianmangdaduan：“shuoqingchushenme？nibuyaoduoxiang，zheizhikouhongyoubushijinide，niyebuxiangxiang，nishiyao，woshiren，renyaoshutu，womenshibukenengzoudaoyiqide！”
“nizaihulielieshenme？”
xiaochanyaoyaqiechideshuozhe，ranhouhenhenjiuleyixiawodeerduo，tengdebuxing。
jiuwanzhihou，tayouhenrenzhendedao：“zheizhikouhongyouwenti，niganjinbatarengle，rengdeyueyuanyuehao，zuihaofangmatonglichongzou！”
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
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栏目：都市
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作者：方方爱吃番茄
栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
栏目：都市
我给死人化妆的亲身经历
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栏目：都市
江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
栏目：都市
