xiaoshuozhurengongshiwangdadongqinxuedexiaoshuojiao《nvzongcaidezhuanzhibaobiao》，shizuozhejuntianzuizuixinxiedeyibendoushishenghuoleixingdexiaoshuo，qingjieyinrenrusheng，feichangtuijian。zhuyaojiangdeshi：zheishiyigecongdiyuguilaidenanren，kuaiyidoushi，quzuimeilinvren，caizuikuangdirendegushi。......
“wocao，yaoming。”yueneijiyawangguodeyijianxiaobinguannei。
yigeliuzheyitouzhangfadenanrennaqiluozaidishangdekuzibianshiwangwuwaipao。
“silaogui，jiwonongyijiazhandouji，yaoxunhangnenglizuiqiangde。”
“buye，wodagaiyigebangexiaoshihoudaohuaxiabianjing，nikaifeijisongwoqujiangdoushi。”
“xiaofei，yigebanxiaoshihoudaiwoqujianlaoda！”
yilianbodalesangedianhua，juntianzuizheicaicalecaetoudehanshui。
juntianzui，diyusidatianwangzhiyi，daihaobuzuitianwang。
zheizhudingbushiyigepingfandeyewan，yinweimingzhenshijiedeyongbingzuzhidiyuzhongdesidatianwangyiqichudongle。
yishijian，shijiegedideyongbingzuzhi，shashoujituanquandoujinrulezuigaojiebeizhuangtai，yifurulindadideyangzi。
zheijiuliantiantangshenpanhemingheyebuliwai。
yaozhidao，diyuzhongderenheyiweitianwang，neidoushikeyiduziyirenhuimiediaoyigexiaozhendecunzai，erjinyiqichudong，tianzhidaoyoushenmedashifasheng。
难道要攻打一座城？
sidatianwangdexingzongbingbunanzhangwo，danneishizaisidatianwangxianxialaideshihou。yidansidatianwangjinrurenwuzhuangtai，jiuzaiyebiexiangzhidaotamenzaiganshenmele。
yinci，chuleneixiepangrandawuzhiwai，wushudeyongbingzuzhi，shashoujituan，cikelianmengdengshili，zaizheiyiwanjuntingzhilesuoyourenwu，bingjinkenengdejiangchengyuandiaohuizongbu，yiciyufangweizhideweiji。
likailedongjunbieshu，wangdadongzhaoleyigejiuba，duizhefuwuyuanhoudao：“bolanjingliufutejia。”
“haodexiansheng，ninshaodeng。”
fuwushengshiyigenvde，zhangdehaitingpiaoliang，buguocishidewangdadongzhixianghejiu，yinciliankanyemeikanfuwushengyiyan。
yifenzhonghou，banbeibolanjingliufutejiafangzailewangdadongmianqian。
wangdadongduanqijiubei，zhijieyiyinerjin。
“xiansheng，nin，ninbunengzheiyanghe！”wangdadongdejudongdunshirangfuwushengheleyitiao。
bolanjingliufutejia，shishijieshizuiliedejiu，jiujinghanlianggaodabaifenzhijiushiliu。hezheizhongjiu，jianzhigenhejiujingmeishenmequbie。
chuanshuozheizhongjiuzhiyaoqingqingminshangyikou，zuichunjiuhuishunjiantuoshuifama，heyikouduzijiuxiangaileyiquansidi。
jiubalidianzheizhongjiuderenbushao，dandaduoshudoushichongzheshijiezuiliezheigemingtouqude，yibanrenjibenshangzhishiminshangyixiaokoubianshifangqile。
xianran，fuwushengdehuayijingwanle，yinweiwangdadongyijingjiangbanbeibolanjingliufutejiajiganle。
zheixiawandanle，yanglanqingchudejide，shangcizheiyanghederenjiuzhijieyinweiweichuxuejinleyiyuan。
“爽！”
yanglanzhengzhunbeijiaorenguolaisongwangdadongquyiyuan，wangdadongquepengdeyishengfangxiabeizi，zuilifachuzheiyangdeshengyin，lianshanghaidaizhexiangshoudebiaoqing。
huiweiledayueshimiaozhong，wangdadongkanxiangfuwushengshuodao：“zailaiyibei。”
“您，您说什么？”
“woshuozailaiyibeinimeitingdaoma？”wangdadongmeitouyizhou。
cishiwangdadongbenlaijiuxinqingjidubushuang，daobushiyinweibeilinshiyanshanleyierguang，zhiyinneigezhihuiduitayigerenxiaodenvren。
zheishenshangbuyouzizhusanfachuyiguporendebinglengqixi。
beiwangdadongdemuguangkanzhe，yanglanxinzhongjingranyongqiyiguliangyi，fangfozijijiukuaiyaosidiaoleyiban。
zhidaowangdadongyikaimuguang，yanglanquanshenxiangxutuoleyiyang，jingzhideetoujingranzhangmanlehanshui，ganjinqunajiule。
youshiyibeibolanjingliufutejiaxiadu，wangdadongzhongyuganjuedaohaoshouleyixie。
jiuguoranshigehaodongxi，daobushishuotazhendenengxiaochurendefannao，ershizaijiujingdezuoyongxia，renjiuhuikankaixuduo。
yanglanzhenjingdeyanzhuzidoukuaiyaodiaozaibataishangle，kanwangdadongdeyanshengenkanguaiwusidi。
liangbeibolanjingliufutejiajiuxiangdangyubanjinjiujing，wangdadonghexiaqu，jingranhaimeidaoxia，zheirennandaotianshengduijiujiujingmianyima。
wangdadongdangranbunengduijiujingmianyi，fouzetayebuhuilaihejiule，zhibuguotaduijiujingdechengshouliyuanchaochangrenbale。
dangwangdadongyaodisanbeijiudeshihou，yanglanyijingbiandemamule。
zheiyiciwangdadongbingmeiyouxiangqianliangcineiyangyiyinerjin，ershidianleyizhiyan，manmandepinleqilai。
suizheyanwudeliaorao，wangdadongsihuxianrulehuiyidangzhong。
“meinvjiejie，nizuowoshifuhaoma？”
“woweishenmeyaozuonishifu？”
“yinweinizhangdepiaolianga。”
“xiangzuowotudihenjiandan，zhiyaoninengrangwoxiao。”
“meinvjiejie，nixiaole，nidayingguowo，yaozuowoshifude。”
……
“qin，nizenmezheimesha，wobuhuizaiyinianjide，jiusuannibiwodaershisui，sanshisui，wushisui，wodouhuiyiyangainide。”
“dadong，niyidingyaoxingfue，ruguoniganbuxingfu，wosileyebuhuichengrennishiwodetudi，niyaodaizheshifudeneiyifen，haohaodehuoxiaqu……”
“wobuyaozuonidetudi，qin！”
……
“yixiaoshiwushijiufen，madezongsuanmeiyouchidao！”yigezhangfashuzainaohoudenanzituranchuxianzailejiubali。
nanzilaidaowangdadongpangbianzuoxia。
“xianshengqingwennihedianshenme？”nvfuwushenglimaodewendao。
“他喝的什么？”
“bolanjingliufutejia。”
“那好，来两瓶。”
yanglandoukuaiyaobengkuile，jinwanzenmezheimeduofeirenlei。
zhiqiankanwangdadongyikouqiheleliangbeibolanjingliufutejia，tadoujuedeyaofengle，xianzailaigegengmengde，zhijieyaoliangping。
nima，niyiweineishishuia？
buguobengkuiguibengkui，yanglanhaishiguaiguaidenaleliangpingbolanjingliufutejialai，haizhuanmennalaileyigebeizi。
nanzigenbenmeiyongbeizi，zhijienaqijiuping，gudonggudongdeheleqilai。
zhijiehediaolebanping，nanzizheicaiduizhewangdadongdao：“laoda，nizheimezhejijiaowolaiyoushenmeshi？shiyaogongdatiantangshenpanhaishimingheme？wotemezaokantamenbushuangle。”
“喝酒。”
“shenme？laodanishuoshenmewomeitingqingchu。”juntianzuiyiweizijitingcuole。
“woshuowojiaonilaipeiwohejiu，shunbianfuyixiajiuqian。”wangdadongdandandao。
tingwanwangdadongdehua，juntianzuizhijiedaozailebataishang，bushi96dudeliejiurangtazuile，ershiwangdadongdehuarangtazuile。
nima，takeshikaizhezhandoujifeilebangeyazhou，jieguojingranzhishilaipeijiude。
“woshuolaoda，budaizheiyangwanerrende，wozhengduanlianshentini？”juntianzuikusangzheliandao。
wangdadongzuijiaoyangqiyimoxiexiao，“meiguanxi，daihuierrangniduanliangegou，jiupanitilibugoua。”
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
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栏目：都市
我只会说实话，老婆求我快闭嘴
作者：方方爱吃番茄
栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
栏目：都市
我给死人化妆的亲身经历
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栏目：都市
江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
栏目：都市
