xiaoshuozhurengongshichutianshuqiaoshiyuandeshumingjiao《shangmenweixu》，zheibenxiaoshuodezuozheshiyonghengchuangzuodedoushishenghuoleixiaoshuo，neirongzhuyaojiangshu：chutianshuweiairuzhui，qulechongdikuangmo，zaoshoubaibandiaonanqianbanxiuru。qiekan，dedaodaoyimenshengzunchuanchengdeta，ruhenixidalian，yangmeituqi！...
kandaochutianshumouziqingliang，meiyouyidianzuiyi，jiangshouguanghuangrandawu，“nigangcaishiguyizhuangzuijijiayonghuaxiatao？”
“zhuangzuishizhende。”chutianshudandandedao：“danxiataodehaoxiangshinimenba？”
“haizhenshirangrenjingya。”
jiangshouguangmeixiangdao，yiduanshijianmeijian，chutianshudejiuliang，jingranbiyuanlaiqianglehaojibei。
tanaerzhidao，chutianshuxianzaihuifulejiyi，youdeshibanfarangzijiqianbeibuzui，suibian**lianggekuaisujiejiudexuedao，jiunenghedetamenhuaiyirensheng。
qiaoshiyuanyeyouxiejingya，chutianshuzheiliangtianhaizhenshiyicicishuaxinzijideduitaderenshi。
tabuxiangrangchutianshugenzheixietongxueqichongtu，shangqiandao：“xingle，chutianshu，zanmenzouba。”
chutianshuquemeiyouqishen，“jiuhaimeihewan，zenmenengzouni。”
jianchutianshubutingquan，qiaoshiyuanxinlidehuotengdejiumaoleqilai，lengrandao：“neinizijimanmanhe，wozoule。”
shuowan，tajiuzhuanshenlikai，lianggenvtongxuemangzhuilechuqu。
“laozijiushiwanni，ninengbawozenmeyang？”
jiayonghuazuiyishangtou，zhizhechutianshudebizijiaodao：“zaiwomenyanlinizheigefeiwushangmennvxujiushigepi，qiaoshiyuanzoule，nidoumeizigegenwomenzuozaiyiqi，ganjingundanba。”
“你嘴太臭了！”
chutianshuhuoranqishen，taishouchaojiayonghuashanleguoqu。
jiayonghuahaimeifanyingguolai，chutianshudebazhangjiuluozaitadelianshang。
啪！
jiayonghuazhijiebeichoudeyitouzaixiangchaji。
“huala”yisheng，bolichajibeizhuangsui，jiushuiyinliaosanluoyidi。
jiayonghuataiqitou，xianxueshunzheeshangdeshangkouzhiwangwaiyong，ranmanxianxuedemiankongkanshangquzhengningkebu。
changzhongdanxiaodenvhaizi，hededashengjianjiaoqilai。
jiangshouguangdengrendoulengzhule，fanyingguolai，tamendunshiqunqingjifen。
jiangshouguangdashengjiaodao：“nigewonangfei，haigandongshou？”
“yaobushiweilepeishiyuan，zheidifangwoyifenzhongdoubuxiangdai，keshiwozheirenyougexiguan，buxihuanbierenqianwodedongxi。”
chutianshukanxiangjiayonghua，yourandao：“baqianwodejiuhewan，womashangjiuzou。”
“喝你大爷！”
jiayonghuachaoqiyipinghongjiu，jiuchaochutianshutoushangzaqu。
chutianshulengxiaoyisheng，huiquanyingleguoqu。
呯！
houzhongdehongjiuping，beitayiquanzasui。
neiyiquanqushibujie，youhenhenluozaijiayonghuadelianshang。
jiayonghuapudaozaidi，hunleguoqu。
suoyourendoulengzhule，chutianshujintiandebiaoxian，wanquanchaochuletamenyiwangderenzhi。
fanyingguolaihou，tamenfenfenshangqian，bachutianshuweileqilai。
“打他！”
“jilianbuyaoliandedongxi，jiushiqianzou……”
zheishi，ganggangchuquzhuiqiaoshiyuandenvzijicongcongchonglejinlai，dashengjiaodao：“chushile，shiyuanbeirenzhuazoule。”
chutianshutaibushangqian，hewendao：“tazainaer？”
nvziqichuanyuyudedao：“beiladaoyihaobaoxiangle……”
huayinmeiluo，chutianshuyijingfengyibanchonglechuqu。
“zanmenxianqujiushiyuan，denghuierzaishoushineigewonangfei。”
jiangshouguangdaoleju，daizheneixienantongxuegenlechuqu。
loudaoli，chutianshudeshoujixiangleqilai。
suishoujietong，duimianchuanlaiyigejiaojideshengyin，“woshiwuruifeng，chuxianshengjiuminga！”
chutianshumeihaoqidedao：“meikong。”
“ninxianbiegua。”wuruifengmangdao：“ninzainaer？wokeyidengninmangwan。”
“jinyewumianktv。”
chutianshudaoleju，jiuguaduandianhua。
talaidaoyihaobaoxiangmenqian，zhijietaijiaobamenchuaikai。
baojianhenda，zhuangshideyehenshangdangci，biganggangtasuozaideneigebaojianyaohaochutaiduo。
zhiqianzaidatingyudaodeneigejiaonieweipingdenanzi，zhengjuzhongzuozaishafashang，manlianfennudeqiaoshiyuanzuozaitapangbian。
shafahoumianzhanzheyigenanzi，enzheqiaoshiyuandejianbang，burangqiaoshiyuanqishen。
nieweipingshouliduanzheyibeihongjiu，couzaiqiaoshiyuanmianqian，kanyangzishizaibiqiaoshiyuanhejiu。
lingyibiandanrenshafashangzuozhedehongjie，xiaoyinyindekanzheyanqianyiqie。
genjinlaidejiangshouguangdunshiyileng，erandao：“wei……weishao……”
qiaoshiyuankaikoujiaodao：“jiangshouguang，jiuwo。”
chutianshucanranyixiao，xinlishishenshendebeiai，andao：zainixinli，wozhongjiuhaiburuwairenkekao。
kandaochutianshudebiaoqing，qiaoshiyuandexinhuranhenhenyijiu。
qishi，tabingfeibuxiangxinchutianshu，ershixiangqileneitianzaiyeshidechangjing，haipachutianshubaoqishangren，zhaoredaodamafan。
tazhidao，chutianshuweileta，shenmeshidouzuodechulai。
jiranjiangshouguanggennieweipingrenshi，tajuedezheijianshihaishijiaojijiangshouguangjiejuebijiaohao。
hongjielianseyichen，“nimenxiangganshenme？”
jiangshouguangshanxiaolesheng，yingzhetoupishangqiandao：“weishao，tashiwotongxue，qingninjiwoyigemianzi……”
“jinimianzi？”nieweipingchixiaoyishengdaduan，“nitemeyigemaijiajude，zailaozimianqianyoushenmemianzi？”
tashouyiyang，babeizilidehongjiupodaolejiangshouguanglianshang。
jiangshouguangshuangquanjinwo，queyijuyinghuadoumeiganshuo。
qitatongxue，gengshijinruohanchan。
hongjietuchuyigeyanquan，jifengdao：“buziliangli！”
“bieshuoshinitongxue，jiushinilaopo，laozijintianyeliudingle。”nieweipingdianlegenyan，dandandedao：“nishizijigundan？haishilaozirangrendaduannidetuibanidiuchuqu？”
jiangshouguangdeyizhanglianyinqingbuding，jiujiebanshanghou，tandao：“shiyuan，nijiuliuxiapeiweishaohejiuba，nenggenweishaojiejiao，shihenduorenpandoupanbulaidejihui。”
shuowan，tajiudizhetouzhuanshenchumen，kandoumeigankanneixietongxueyiyan。
zaichangdezheixietongxue，kedouzhidaotaduiqiaoshiyuandexinsi。
zhengtianchuixuzhezijizaiyaozhouzenmezenmeniubi，quelianzijixihuandenvrendoubaohubule，tashizaishimeilianmianduizhongren。
jianjiangshouguangdoutuichuqule，qitarenyouzenmeganchanhezheishier，qianrankanlekanqiaoshiyuan，fenfenlikaibaoxiang。
kandaojiangshouguangbeinieweipingliangjuhuajiuhepaole，qiaoshiyuandexinqingbiandeyouxiechenzhongqilai。
“liuxiapeiwo。”nieweipingzhongxinbajiubeicoudaoqiaoshiyuanmianqian，“wobaozhengniyihoujinyiyushi，zaiyaozhoukeyihengzhezou。”
chutianshushangqianliangbu，yourandao：“xiangliuxiawolaopo，niwenguowolema？”
nieweipingtaiyandao：“niyoushishenmedongxi？”
“woshuole，woshitalaogong。”
chutianshulinqizhuoshangdehongjiuping，daozhuan，bapingzhonghongjiuchaonieweipingtoushangxuanxielexiaqu，lengrandao：“nitemeerduolongle？”
nieweipingmolebalianshangyinhongdejiuye，yaoyadao：“goudongxi，nisidingle。”
“ganzaizheilinaoshi，yebukankanzheishishenmedifang。”hongjielenghengdao：“feileta！”
huayinluoxia，pangbiansulidelianggenanzijiuchaochutianshupuleguolai。
qiaoshiyuanjinghuyisheng，qishendao：“fangwomenzou，buranwobaojingle。”
nieweipingjiuzhuqiaoshiyuandetoufa，baqiaoshiyuanchehuishafa，“laozijintianjiurangnikankan，zheizhongfeiwunanren，piyongmeiyou……”
shuodaozheili，tadeshengyinjiaranerzhi。
妻子酒后越界，下场比鬼还惨
作者：天天走上
栏目：都市
zuozhe：wowudilehaizinuligen
栏目：都市
zuozhe：xiangzuobaifumeidexiaoniu
栏目：都市
假装穷小子体验生活，校花女友当众羞辱我，我摊牌了。
zuozhe：choumingzhaozhudemingzhengnvdi
栏目：都市
作者：木千
栏目：都市
一屋子亲戚逼我交出抚恤金，说我是个废物不配用
作者：加勒比海怪
栏目：都市
