《wobudangtiangoudangtashenshenhou,tafengle》shiyibuyinrenrushengdexiandaiyanqingxiaoshuo,jiangshulemulanshengmujinzaixuxudebixiajinglidejingxianzhilv。mulanshengmujinshigeputongren,dantabeijuanruleyigeshenmizuzhideyinmouzhong。tabixuliyongzijidezhihuiheyongqi,jiekaimituanbingzhengjiushijie。
1
woshimujindebaiyueguang,weilejitazhitui,toutouchuguo。
bazijidetuibushenjingjileta,zijichenglequezi。
tahendulewo,baitianrangwodangyongren,wanshanghaiyaozaichuangshangzhemowo。
jilieguohouwocongbeihoubaozhewenta,shenmeshihoucainengrangwojianguangdangshangmutaitaini。
tatuikaiwo,manlianxianqidao:
“mufurenbukenengshigequezi。”
mujinbuzhidao,dangnianchuguoshiwoweilejuanzijideshenjingjita。
yushiwojuejuezhuanshen,hao,budangmufuren,neiwojiudangnishenshenba。
houlai,zhidaozhenxianghoumujinguizaiwotuibianwanruodiankuangdao,
“我们私奔吧!”
yourenquedangzailewomianqian,miansebuyuedichize:
“xiaojin,buxuduinixiaoshenshenwuli!”
1.
夜是欲望的温床。
mujinjinyeyoulaizhaowole,meicihezuojiuyanzhihoutadouxuyaofaxie。
talianyindefurentiruoduobing,yushishentixiangxingqihedewojiuchengletazuihaodefaxieduixiang。
shuohaotingdianshiyewandeqingren。
jilieguohouwocongbeihouyongzhumujin,panshangletadejiantou:
“ajin,nihaixihuanwoma?”
mujinzhuanshen,gulonglihunzheliejiuxiang,taniezhewodeshouwannong,suiyidixiaoqilai:
“nishiwodechulianaruo,dangniannipaoxiawochuguo,wobuyeyizhidengnidaojintian,rangnishanglewodechuang。”
tashuowanzheihuajuedexinzhongyanzu,niezhewodexiabaqinlekou。
worudongzuichun,xiangyaobuzhizudizaiwenyiju——
“neinizhunbeishenmeshihourangwodangshangmingzhengyanshundemutaitaini?”
mujinquexiankaoguolailouzhuwo,shuolejushuiba。
zheishizaiduwodehua,huoxutazaojiuzhidaowozaixiangshenme。
diertianwoxianqilai,mujiahaiyouhaoduodehuoerdengzhewoqugan。
gangzouchufangjian,bianbeirenmengdishanleyibazhang。
“humeizihaodadelanjing,shuidaorishangsangancaiqia!”
mutaitaisongjiayiguozherongmaopijian,yishiyanserangrenbawoanzailedishang。
woguizhegandaotouyunyanhua。
mujin**yixianghenjing,wohaimeihuanguolaijiubeirendama,cikeerduowengwengdixiang。
“yiweizijizuogebiaojiutiandadidale,meiguiju。”
songjiayizuiaijiangguiju,yinweitajiajinlaisannianmujinpengtadecishuquzhikeshu,tacongxiaojiaoshengguanyangshentiruo,zijiyeshoubulemujinchuangshangdehen,yinciyezuipabiedenvrenchenjizuanlekongzi。
erwojiushineige“zuanlekongzi”denvren。
tayishenkaozaierloudemudiaolanganshang,rangrenjiwodianguiju。
yushiwobeirentizhelingzishanleershigebazhang。
wanletayoufuxiashenwenwo,xianzaixiangqilaiguijulema?
wopazaidishangganou,wuzhehongzhongdelianguizuoqilai,yinglesheng。
suihouzaizhouweinvpumendeweiguanxia,woxiangsongjiayizhongzhongkelegetou:
“duoxiemutaitaikuanrongrenhou,nengrangwozheigexiao**shanglemuxianshengdechuang。”
2.
songjiayiyizhixiangbawodacheng“**”。
meicimujinzhaowozhihoudediertiandouyaorangwoketourencuo,baizhengzijidediwei,bieyiweisihounanrenjiuhuntoule,jiyushangbugaijiyudedongxi。
tafangdedui,woqueshishizaijiyu。
ruguosannianqianmeiyouneichangchehuo,xianzaidemutaitaiyidinghuishiwo!
keneishiweilepochandemojia,wozhinengchuguojiangzijidetuibushenjingjuanjimujinhounaqianxiaoshi。
zhidaomujinkangfuhoudayinglianyinquqizhihoucainenghuilai。
mujinaiwo,yeshizaihenwodangnianqita!
wohuiguobeitazhuozhudeneitian,baoyulitaqiazhewodebozizhiwenwodangnianweishenmeqitabugu,napaxiangyaosibentayenengweiwopinyiba,kewoyaowuyinxindichuzou,huiletashaonianshisuoyoudeai。
womeifahuidata,zhinengweitamoquheyuyitongliuxiadelei。
diertiandemujinhuifulejinguiyouya,qiaotuizuozaitaishiyishang,jugaolinxiadipieleyanwodebotui。
raoleraoyuzhuchuan,shuoliuwozaijializuogedazadeba。
songjiayijiushineishijiandaowo,nvrendediliuganyishunjianjiuchajuelewodebutong。
zhidaomujindiyiciyesuzaiwodeyongrenfangjian,songjiayideduxingbaofahoubianyifabukeshoushi。
tatingwoshuozijishi“xiao**”caikaixin,youshilegeyanse,bianyourenlaibawodeyifu。
“quanjiwobale,rangtazhidaozijidaodishigeshenmegongrenfaxiedewanyier。”
sansigenvyongweishanglaihenmingdisiyifu,luchudeaimeihonghenrangtamenyexianqidizhoumei。
“zhenshigeyaoyan**!”songjiayigengshiqinzizoushanglaiyoushanlewoyibazhang。
xianhongdezhijiazaiwolianshangguachuyidaoxuehen。
wopinmingzhengtuo,dahandajiao,fangmenbianzaicishipadadakai。
mujinbeimenwaidedongjingchaoxingle。
tahaimeichuanshangyi,jingzhuangdehoubeibumanwozuoyezhuanaoliuxiadehuanaihenji。
yipangdenvpumenkandaodouxiuhonglelian。
yourendishangbaichenyijita,mujinchuanshanghoupieleguizaidishangdewoyiyan。
suihouzouguoquyongzhulesongjiayi,tengaidiguaguatadebijian:
“zenmele,shisheiyourewoqinaidefurenshengqile。”
songjiayijiaoqididuolexiajiao,shenshoujiuzhixianglewo:“zheigeshoujiaobuganjingderentoulewodexianglian!”
她居然栽赃我!
woyangqitoujuejiangdidahan:“womeiyou!mingmingwozuowanyizhidouzaimuxianshengdechuang......”
padeyibazhang,dalidejiangwodenaodaidoushanpianle。
wobukezhixinditaitou,mujinshenhuishou,danmodikaikou:
“zhenshibudongguijudexiaren。”
tapawoshuochurenjinjiezhideshishi,pawohuiletamingtoushangdejinguiyouya。
zheiyibazhangbawodapazaidi,yehongdesongjiayikaixin。
tazhangzhechongaidecunjinchi:“neijiugantazouma!”
mujinchongnidixiaozhekanta,meihuida,zhishiyiditouwenzhulesongjiayi。
jiewendetiannishuishengxiangqilai,zhouweidepurenzijuezhuanletou。
erwopazaidishangtaiqitou,zinvebandikanzhetamenfuqimingzhengyanshundixiuenai。
yewanhewojiaoxinhuanaidenanren,youtazijixuyaochongaidefuren。
erwozuiduobuguoneimoguoqidebaiyueguang,yingshengshengchengletayifushangzhandeyiliwanrenxianqidefannianzi。
3.
ganleyitiandezanghuo,wotuozhebojiaomanmanzouhuiyongrenfang。
gangtangxiajiushoudaolemujindexiaoxi。
“过来陪我。”
fenxiangdedizhishimoujiagaojihuisuodebaojian。
wogandaodeshihou,zhengyourenwenmujin,zenmebawoliuzaishenbianle。
“muzongbuhuihaixihuantaba,bijingshichulianma!”
wowozhumenbashoudengdai,dengyigewoqidaidedaanchuxian。
napamujinnengtouluyidianmingmianshangaiwohuwodeyisi,napabuzuomutaitai,woxiangwodeaiqingyehaiyoujiu。
jinzhangdeshenhuxili,wotingdaomujinshuo:
“yangtaheyanggesaneryouqubieme,genghekuangtahaijiwojiaganbaojieni。”
一句得体的玩笑话。
zhenggebaojianneidunshihongrandaxiao,yourenchengzanbukuishimuzong,hetashuohuajiushiqingsong。
mujindeyijuhuarangqifenrongqiazhiji。
zaitamendaxiaodehouyimiao,wodakailemen。
limianderenkanxiangwo,turanquanchangchenmo。
dangnianwohemujindeshiyesuannaodemanchengfengyu,dingjihaomendemushaoyeweilexiaoqiyejiadenvershenzhibuxiyimingxiangbizhiqiuchengquan,zhikexitonghuagushizuihouyezhiluolegemandijimao。
mujinhesongjiaxiaonverlianyin,dangniandebaiyueguangqueshizaijializuolegebojiaoyongren。
“guolai。”mujinzhaohuwoguoqu。
woyuanyiweishizuozaitapangbian,zouguoququegenbenmeiyourenrangwei。
zuihou,wozhinengheneixie**yiyang,dunxiazaimujinshenbian,yangtouwentamuzongyoushenmefenfu。
mujinjiangyibeijiutuijiwo:“tijiayidangjiu。”
songjiayizheishihoucaicongwaimianchuifenghuilai,jiaoqirangrangzhezijibushengjiuli。
zhongrendoupengzhehongzheta,shuosaozishentiruotamenlijie。
yiyourenlijiqishenranglezuo,songjiayizuoxia,ruanruowugudigoushanglemujindebozi,tandaozaitahuaili。
youshiyizhenqihong,yourenbupashidicuiwoheyibei。
woniezhejiubeideshouzaizhandou,wodeweibuhao,liejiushijiqishangweide。
wokanxiangmujin,xiangxiangtaqiuzhu,taqueyijingditouzaihehuailidesongjiayijiewen。
lianggerenchanmianyongwenjian,songjiayichaowotiaoxinditiaomei。
yedui,zheishisongjiayizhengzhixiuruwodeshouduan,mujinxiangwofaxinxishuomingtashitongyilede。
tamingmingzhidaowodeweibing,dantahaishifaleneitiaoxinxi......
zhouweirendouzaiqihongmuzonghemutaitaidejiwen,erwozaiyipangdundaotuima,yishidaozijideaiqinghaoxiangsile。
yushizaimeiyourenzhuyishi,wozhijienaqijiubeiyiyinerjin。
shenzhiyibeiliangbeisanbei,zhongyuyourenkandao,guzhanggonghuo:
“muzongjiewenduojiu,nijiuheduojiu!!!”
suoyourenyiqiguzhanghuanhu,leisheguangshanshuo,zhenggebaojiandeqifenbeituixiangwuyulunbidekuanghuan。
“呕——”
shubuqingheleduoshaojiu,weilizhuoshao,wozhijietule。
erqieyiniutou,quanbutuzailemujinhuaili,linlesongjiayimantou。
4.
“aaaaa**!”
guntangdeoutuwukuaiyaobasongjiayibifeng,tapuguolaiyaodawo。
mujindaoshizhending,jieguomaojincashi,zhishiyilianyinchendidengzhewo,yigeyanshenjiurangrenbawokouleqilai。
zheidaoshiwanquanfangbianlesongjiayishanwobazhang。
wodelianshangbeitaxianhongdezhijiashanchuyidaodaoxuehen,danrengrantaitoujuejiangdikanzhemujin:
“shizaibaoqian,woyouyanzhongdeweibing,yizhidouhebulejiu......”
wodezheijuhuaxiangshicairangmujinyishidaoshenme。
tadelianseyishijianyoudiannankan,yuanlaibushitatongyisongjiayixiuruwo,zhishilianbenrendouwanglewodebing。
“xingle,chabuduodele!haibukuaidianquxidiao!”
mujinchuyanzhizhilefafengdesongjiayi。
suihoupielewoyiyan,rangrenbawotuochuqubiezaifangjinlai。
wowuzhejuliechoujindewei,wurenjiesong,zuihoutuozhefamadebojiaoyiqueyiguaidizijizouhuiqu。
chechengshiwufenzhongdelu,wozoulezhengzhenglianggexiaoshi。
lushangxiaqileyu,wowucuodizhanzaimenglongdeludengxiajintuiweinan。
zuihoushizaimeibanfa,jimujinfaletiaoxinxi:
nengbunengcharenjiwosongbasan?
xinxiyizhiweidu,bangexiaoshihoudingdongyishengyidu,dansongsanderenquechichibulai。
yuqingqingluozaishenshang,queshizuanxindetong。
wodunzailudengpang,baozhexigaizhongyurenbuzhufangshengdaku。
wodeaiqing,haoxiangzhendezaizijideyixiangqingyuanlizaojiulandiaole。
kuleshilaifenzhong,wocalecayanjing。
zaicinaqishoujikaishifaxiaoxi。
duimiandefuzerenhuifudehenkuai:ninquedingxianghaolema?
wodaxiazi:“shide,woyuanyijiajimulanshengshaoyechongxi。”