wanzhengbanxiaoshuo《wodeshijieshilingpaijiang》youyangmingtianxiaqingxinchuangzuodeyibendoushishenghuofenggedexiaoshuo，gushizhongdezhujiaoshichentianshengbailuoxuan，neirongzhuyaojiangshu：zaitaiguo，youzhongyonglaibikaixieshen，zhurenjiayundefopai，zheizhongfopaizhimingdushengao。danxuduorenbuzhidao，guoneiyeyouleisiyufopaidedongxi，buguoyemeiyoushenmetongyidechenghu，jiuguqiechengzhiweilingpaiba。buguolingpaibutongdeshi，zunxunyinyangjiehe，wanwuxiangshengxiangkezhiyuan。erwoyeyejiushiyiminglingpaijiang。yeyezongshuo，shengsiyouming，fuguizaitian，yinguolunhuishimingmingzhizhongjiuzhudinghaode。erzheiyixing，jiushizai......
buguohaozaishizheicidefuzuoyongmeiyoudiyicineimeqianglie，wozhengzhadecongdishangpaleqilai，shouzhongzaoyizhunbeihaodezhenhunpaizhaozhexiaohunlingdenaomenhuleguoqu。
“啪！”
zhenhunpaitiezaixiaohunlingdenaomenshang，guangmangdasheng，conglimianchuanchulaiyiguwoganshoubudaodeqiangjingxili，neixiaohunlingdeshentikaishiniuqu，beixiruzhenhunpaizhinei。
“呜呜呜呜！”
xiaohunlingbutingdeguaijiaozhe，shitutuolizhenhunpaidelache，butingdezhengzhazhe。
buguorenpingtaruhezhengzhayewujiyushi，zheizhenhunpaideweili，genbenbushiyizhiyouhunnengdidangdelele。
zhengzhalemeiyihui，xiaohunlingdeshentichedixiaoshizaileshufangzhizhong，beifengyinjinzhenhunpaile。
wosonglekouqi，shentiyixiazixieleli，tandaozailedibanshang。
shufangmenzhongxinbeidakai，bailuoxuanxiaoxixidezoulejinlai，pailepaiwodejianbang，dao：“henbucuoma，wohaiyiweizuihouhaidexuyaowochushouni。”
woshanglebailuoxuanyigedadadebaiyan，dao：“youyini？xinrenni？nizhenshikengshididehaonengshoua！”
“aiya，zheibushitiqianpeiyangnidudangyimiandebenlingnime，rihouyaoshishijiewobuzainishenbian，daoshihounizaiyujianhunlingzenmeban？”
woxinzhongziranmingbaizheigedaoli，yezhishigenbailuoxuankaigewanxiaoeryi。
“zouba，wofunixialou。”
bailuoxuanlazhuwodegebo，jiangwodegebohuanzaitabaijingdebojingshang，yibuyibudechanfuzhewo。
ganshoudaogeboshangneiweiliangdeganjue，wobujinlaolianyihong。
shuochulaikenengyourenbuxin，zheihaishiwodiyicigennvshengyouzhitijiechu。
shijiejianwoneibiaoqing，renbuchuxiaochulesheng。
“woshuoshidi，nibuhuidaoxianzaihaishigedanshengouba？”
zheihuaxiangshiyigenciyiyangzhajinlewodexinli，wolenghengyishengdao：“wobuxiangeryi。”
“德行。”
“qie，niyuanxinbuxin。”
banzuizhijian，shijieyijingfuzhewohuidaolelouxiadeshafashang。
wocongkoudailitaochuzhenhunpai，dijileshijie，dao：“zheigejini，neixiaohunlingjiuzailimianni。”
“xiaohunling？zenme，shigexiaohaizia。”
“嗯。”
wodiantoudao：“xiaonanhai，kanyangzijiushisuideyangzi。”
bailuoxuannazhezhenhunpai，sihushizaisikaozheshenme。
“shijie，xiangshenmeni？”
bailuoxuandianliangzhezhenhunpai，dao：“xiangbuxiangyongyoushuyuzijidehunling？”
“像是庞重那样？”
shijiediantou，dao：“yongyouzijidehunling，rihouhuifangbianhenduo，jiubiruzuijibende，nengranghunlingbangzhuzijizhandou。”
wokanzheshijieshoulidezhenhunpai，dao：“shijie，nideyisishi”
“dui，yaobujiurangzheigexiaohunlingdangnidebanshenghunlingba。”
banshenghunling，zhidejiushijiangshoufuguolaidehunlinghuaweijiyong，jianlijingshenlianxi，zheiyangdehuahunlingjiushishuyuzhurendele。
erzheizhonglianxichengzhiweibanshengqiyue。
jianlilianxizhihou，zhurendeshilihuisuizhebanshenghunlingjibietishengertisheng，erzhurenshoushangbanshenghunlingyehuishoudaoyingxiang，fanzhizebuhui。
shuobaile，jiushizhupuqiyue。
“zheixiaohunlingcaibuguoshiyouhunjibie，shibushiyoudiantairuole？”
shijieqiaoleqiaowodenaoqiao，dao：“xiangshenmenini，hunlingyueqiang，jianlilianxidechenggonglvjiuyuexiao，wogenpangzhongjianlilianxideshihou，tayebuguocaishikuaiyaojinjiechengelingjibieeryi。”
“nizheihunlingshiyigexiaonanhaisuohua，lingzhiweikai，haiyouhendadechengzhangkongjianni。”
“neigennidepangzhongbiqilaini？”
“neihaishiyoudianchabiede，wodepangzhongshicongyichugumupangbianshoufuerlaide，pangzhongshiyiminggudaishibing，sihouzhijiehuazuoleelingjibiedehunling，shihenqiangde。”
“好吧。”
wosonglesongjian，guoranhaishishijieniupi。
“neiwojiumianweiqinandegenzheixiaojiahuojianlilianxiba。”
shijiediandiantou，dao：“banideshouzhishenguolai。”
wojiangshouzhishenjishijie，zhijianshijiezhuazhulewodeshouzhi，zhijiefangjinlezuili！
wogangyaowen，jiuganjueshouzhimengditengleyixia。
“嘶哈！”
yuanlaishishijiejiangwodeshouzhijianjiyaopole。
“jiangnidexuedizaizhenhunpaishang，genwonianjue，ruoshixueshenrujinqule，jiushuomingnichenggongle，fanzhizeshishibai。”
wotingmingbaileshijiedeyisi，jiangshouzhifangzaizhenhunpaishang，jichuyidixianxuediluozaishangmian，ranhoujiukaishinianjue。
“guishenzhufu，shoulingtianjiang，shanglinbeidou，xialinjiuxing，eshafengwu，zhuguibaifu！”
nianwanjue，wojiukaishisisidedingzheshouzhongdezhenhunpai。
diyicigenhunlingjianlilianxi，wohaishihenxingfende。
“嗡！”
zhenhunpaimomingqimiaodezhandongleyixia，suihoukaishibuduandeshanshuoyouguang。
woyihuodekanxiangbailuoxuan，faxianshijiedeyanzhongyeshitongyangchongmanlebujie。
这是什么情况？
“难道血挤少了？”
wohuayingangluo，jiutingzhenhunpaishangmianchuanlaikacayishengcuixiang。
zaikanneizhenhunpai，jurancongzhongjianliekaileyitiaoxiweideliefeng！
erwodexianxuezeshishunzheliefengdiluozailedibanshang。
“shenmeqingkuang？nandaoshibaile？”
bailuoxuanyibajiangzhenhunpaicongzhuoshangzhualeqilai，zixiguanchaleyifan，dao：“nibishangyanjingganshouyixia，kankannengbunengganjuedaomouzhongyinyuezhijiandelianxi。”
wozhaozuole，jieguomaodoumeiganshoudao。
“meiyou，shayemeiganjuechulai。”
shijieliumeiweicu，wozhezhenhunpai，baisibudeqijie。
“bunenga，yinidetianfu
奇怪。”
woshitanzhewendao：“shibushishibaile？”
“ng，buguoniyebiehuixin，kenengshinalichucuole。”
shijieanweizhewo，woxiaolexiao，dao：“meishi，kenengwoliangxinggehebulaiba。”
suiranwozuishangzheimeshuozhe，danxinzhongweimianhaishiyouxieshiluode。
“zhenhunpailiele，xiaoguojiuhuisanshihenduo，zheiliangtianniganjinzhaolaolitouzijizheixiaohunlingsongruliudaolunhuizhizhongba。”
“找他干什么？”
“jiangbeizhineiwozhirenshitayigehuinianwangshengjuede。”
“好吧。”
yinweilaolitouzichushoumielezhanglinlin，woyouxiebuyuanyijianta。
buguotazhongjiuhaishiweilejiuwodeming，zheiyidianwohaishikeyilijiede。
“shijianbuzaole，nixiantangzheshuiyihuierba，mingzaowojiaoni。”
“neishijienini，nibushuima？”
bailuoxuankanlewoyiyan，xiaodao：“zenme，nihaixiangrangshijiepeinia？”
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
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我只会说实话，老婆求我快闭嘴
作者：方方爱吃番茄
栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
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我给死人化妆的亲身经历
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栏目：都市
江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
栏目：都市
