我这人，吃的是死人饭啊annio-著

小说简介

《wozheiren，chideshisirenfana》zhujiaoweilaochenliuxiaocui，zuozheanniorumuchunfengdenaodonggenxiangxiangli，qingjiehuanhuanxiangkou，xiamianjiujigeweijieshaoyixia。lineibeihaiyoubanchiyuan，tongchishangdeliujinjingrankaishiweiweifaan，chishenfachujiqiqingweide、jihutingbujiandewengming。“zheibei……”womeitouningjin，“shenmeshihou……

精彩章节

diyizhang：guishouyinwozheiren，chideshisirenfan。biewuhui，bushidaomubaofenneizhongsunyindedegoudang。

zushangchuanxialaigemingtou，jiao“minsushiwuguwen”，tingzhetinghuren，

qishijiushigeca**de——zhuanjineixiezhanlexiehushier、polelaoguijuderenhuodifangpingshi。ganwomenzheixing，

xindebushimantianshenfo，ershi“yinguo”he“guiju”。wanwuyouling，

gengbieshuoneixieniantoujiuledelaowujian、laodifang，litouzangzheduoshaobugan、zhinian，shenzhigengxiemendedongxi。

poleguiju，jingraoletamen，jiudefuchudaijia。erwo，jiushineigezaidaijiabiandetaidazhiqian，

qugentamen“jiangdaoli”deren。dangran，zheidaoli，youshihoudeyongshangdianfeichangshouduan。wojiaoluyuan，ludidelu，

bianyuandeyuan。renruqiming，yibeizidouzaineixiezhengchangshijiedebianyuandidaidagun，jiandexiehushibichidefandouduo。

rangwojiexiafushuicunzheitanghuoerde，shiyizhangzhaopianheyifengxin。zhaopianpaideshibanjieshibei，maizainili，

luchudebufenkezhexieniuquguguaidefuwen，woyiyanjiurenchuneishimouzhongjishengpidezhenshuirangzaidezhoujue，

niantoujueduigoulao。shibeiduanliechu，zhanzhexieheihuhudedongxi，xiangshiganhedexuejia，

youxiangshibeishenmejifushile。xinshicunzhishuxiede，zijiliaocao，touzheyiguzijiaozhuohekongju。

shuocunliguaishipinfa，xianshishengchumomingbaobi，shenshangzhaobudaoshangkou，jiushiganbiele，

xiangshibeishenmedongxichouganlejingqi。jiezheshiwanshangzongnengtingjiannvrendekusheng，youyouyuanyuan，shunzheshuipiaoguolai，

quzhaoyoushenmedoumeiyou。zuixiemendeshi，youjigewanguidecunmin，diertianbeirenfaxianhundaozaihebian，

jiaohuaishangheranyinzhewuheideshouyin，xiangshibeishuicaochanguo，youxiangshi……beishenmedongxicongshuilishenchulaizhuazhuguo。

cunlilaorenshuo，shidonglebugaidongdedongxi，renaole“heshen”。

tamenzhidejiushizheijieturancongganhehechuangliluchulaidecanbei。xindezuihou，cunzhishujihushizaiaiqiu，

shuogongchengduidoubugankaigongle，renxinhuanghuang，zaimeirenguan，zheicunzijiuyaosanle。wodianliangzhezhaopian，

zhijianhuaguoneifuwen，yiguziyinlengcinaodeganjueshunzhezhijiafengwanglizuan。zheibei，xiexing。zhenshuidebei，

zijiquedaile“shang”，zheizhendeshinamenzishui？bieshizhenbuzhu，fanerbagenghendedongxizhaochulaileba？

fushuicun……zheimingziyeyoudianyisi。woshoushijiahuoshener，

yibayongleduoniandeliujintongchi（liangyinzhai、ceshaqiyong），yibaotezhidezhushayuxian，

jimeiyatangkoudegutongqian，haiyouyibadaorenkelefudeduanbishou——bushiyonglaigenrendongshoude，

shifangneixiebujianglide“dongxi”。linzou，wokanleyantangkougongzhedeneizunheichenchendebukaikoudezushiyexiang，

shanglezhuxiang。xinlimonian：zushiyebaoyou，zheitanghuoer，danyuanzhishixujingyichang。yiludianbo，

yuekaojinfushuicun，kongqiyuefashizhong，haidaizheyiguziruoyouruowudexingqi，bushiyuxing，

gengxiangshishuicaofulanjiuledeneizhongweidao。tianseyinchendelihai，qianhuisedeyuncengyadejidi，

fangfoyishenshoujiunengzuanchushuilai。cunzibiwoxiangxiangdehaiyaopobai。laojiudemuwuyizhehunzhuodeheshuierjian，

henduodouwaixiele，qiangpiboluo，luchulimianheiququdemutougujia。hemiankuankuo，shuiliukansipinghuan，

quetouzheyiguzichendiandiandesiqi，dazhexuaner，yanseshineizhongbuxiangdehuanghese。

cunzhishushigewushiduosuidehanzi，jiaolaochen，jiandaowoxiangshijiandaolejiumingdaocao，yishuangshouwodewoshengteng，

zhangxinquanshilenghan。“luxiansheng，ninkesuanlaile！zaiwanjitian，zheicunzi……zheicunzijiuzhendaibuzhurenle！

”tayanwoshenxian，manlianpibei，shengyindoudaizhezhan。womeiduohanxuan，zhijierangtadaiwoqukanneicanbei。

beijiuzaicunweiyiduanganhedehechuangshang，xiangshiheshuiweixiajianghoucailuchulaide。banjiecharuyuni，

luchudebufenbudaoyimigao，qingheiseshizhi，neixuejiasidewuzizaihunanguangxianxiagengxianzhengning。

fuwenkedejishen，bihuaguaijiaochuqueyouyizhongguiyideliuchanggan，buxiangzaozizaode，

daoxiangshiyongshenmefushixingdeyetihuoshengsheng“xie”shangqude。wodunxiashen，meiyongshoupeng，nachutongchixiaoxinkaojin。

lineibeihaiyoubanchiyuan，tongchishangdeliujinjingrankaishiweiweifaan，

chishenfachujiqiqingweide、jihutingbujiandewengming。“zheibei……”womeitouningjin，“shenmeshihouluchulaide？

”“jiu……jiushanggexunqiguohou，shuiweituixiaqu，jiukanjianle。”laochenyanlekoutuomo，

“gangkaishimeirenzaiyi，houlai……houlaijiuchuneixieguaishile。”“dongguotameiyou？”wodingzheneiwuzi。

“nagana！”laochenjiaoqilai，“wanglaojue——jiucunliyilaoguanggun，buxinxie，shuozheiposhitouaishi，

xiangbataqiaochulairengle，jieguoyichutouxiaqu，meiqiaodongshitou，zijifandaoyitouzaijinnili，koutubaimo，

xianzaihaizaikangshangtangzheshuohuhuani！”wodiandiantou，zheifanying，yiliaozhizhong。zheibeiyijingchengle“dingzi”，

dingzhulemouzhongdongxi，huozhe……dingzhulemouge“kouzi”。wangdong，jiushizhaosi。

woyourangtadaiwoqukanleneijigejiaohuaiyoushouyindecunmin。shouyinwuheifaqing，shenxianrurou，

wugezhitouyinqingxikejian，bianyuanquemeiyouzhongzhang，zhishineilidepifuyichangbingleng，xiangshidongshang。

qizhongyigexiaohuozideyinzizuishen，tayanshenfazhi，

zuilifanfuniantao：“lengde……huade……zhuazhewojiaowangxiazhuai……”shishuigui？

haishibiedeshenmehelideyinsha？tianheidehenkuai，cunlideyewanlaidegewaizao，yegewaihei。

xixilaladedenghuogenbenqubusannongdehuabukaideheianheshuiqi。neizhongnvrendekushengguoranlaile，duanduanxuxu，

ruoyouruowu，xiangshiconghemianpiaolai，youxiangshijiuzainijiachuanggendixiaku，tingderenxinlifamao，

jiliangguyizhenzhenmaoliangqi。laochenhedeliandoubaile，sisigenzhewo。womeilihuineikusheng，zheizhongdongxi，

niyuezaiyitajiuyuelaijing。wozaicunlidishizuigaodedifangzoulezou，

yongluopan（xiandaikejihelaoshouyijiehedechanwu，zhizhengengmingan）cezheqichang。luopanzhizhenhuangdelihai，

youqishichaoxiangheshuihecanbeifangxiangshi，gengshifengleyiyangluanzhuan。shaqichongtian。zheidifangdeqichangyijingquanluanle，

yinxiezhiqizhengzaibuduanjiju。“cunlizuijinsiguorenmeiyou？tebieshinvren，hengside。”woturanwenlaochen。

laochenyigejiling，yanshenduoshanleyixia，zhizhiwuwu。woxinligedengyixia，kanlaihaizhenyouyinqing。

“buxiangquancungenzhepeizang，jiushuoshihua！”wolishengdao。laochenbeiwohoudeyiduosuo，chadiantandishang，

daizhekuqiangshuo：“you……youyige……shiwaixianglaideguniang，jigeyueqian，wanshangshizudiaohelile，

mei……meilaoshanglai……”“shizu？”wodingzheta。laochenlenghanzhiliu，zuichunduosuozhe，

……yinwei……yinweitaduziliyoule……buzhidaoshisheidezhong……cunlixianhuaduo……”woxinlimalejuniang。

yuanside，haishidaizheshenyunde，zheiyuanqinengxiaodele？

zaijiashangzheixiemendecanbeihehunluandeshuimai……jiuzaizheishi，yuanchuturanchuanlaiyizhenjingkongdegoufei，

jinjiezheshirendejianjiao！“youlaile！yousishengkoule！”wohelaochenbatuijiuwangshengyinfangxiangpao。

shicunbiandeyihurenjia，zhuquanli，yitoubaishilaijindeheizhuzhitingtingdidaozaidishang，yanjingdengdeliuyuan，

hunshenganbie，zhishengyicengpibaozhegutou，fangfobeishenmedongxishunjianchouganlesuoyouxuerou。

kongqizhongmimanzheyigunanyixingrongdexingchou。gengrangrentoupifamadeshi，zaizhuquanchaoshidenidishang，

heranyinzhejigeqingxide、shiluludejiaoyin！neijiaoyinhenxiao，xiangshinvrendejiao，jiaojianchaozhezhuquanneibu，

hougenchaowai，danzhiyoujinlaidejiaoyin，meiyouchuqude……xiangshiyoushenmedongxi，conghelipashanglai，

zoudaozhuquanli，nongsilezhu，ranhou……jiupingkongxiaoshile。wodunxiashen，yongshouzhicengleyixianeijiaoyin，nianni，

bingliang，daizheyigunongyudehenixingqi。zhouweidecunminjuzheshoudiantong，dengguangyaoye，

meigerenlianshangdouxiemanlewufayanshidekongju。kusheng，sihugengjinlexie。wozhanqishen，

wangxiangqiheirumodehemian。kanlai，zheidongxi，yijingbumanzuyuzhuajiaohuaihekusule。takaishishanganle。

dierzhang：shuixiaosineiniannibingliangdejiaoyin，xiangshiyibazhangshanzaisuoyourenlianshang，

bazuihouneidianjiaoxingxinlidadefensui。renqunzhaleguo，kuhansheng、zhoumasheng、haizidejingjiaoshenghunchengyipian。

konghuangxiangwenyiyiyangmanyan，yourendangshijiutuiruanzuodaozaidi，yourenfafengsidewangjiapao，xiangyaosuojinmenchuang，

fangfoneibobodemubannengdangzhuwaimianneiweizhidexiesui。laochenlianwurense，zuichunduosuodeshuobuchuhua，

zhihuisisizhuazhewodegebo，xiangshipawoyepaole。“anjing！”womengdihouleyisangzi，shengyinbuda，

quedaizheyizhongchangniangenyinshadajiaodaomolichudelengying，shunjianyazhulexianchangdehunluan。

shijishuangjingkongdeyanjingqishuashuakanxiangwo。“huangshenme？taxianzaihaideshishengkou，nimenyuehuang，renqiyuesan，

tayuedeyi！”wolengshengdao，“douhuijia，jinbimenhu，wanshangtingdaorenhedongjingdoubiechulai！

zaotaishangjiwoliuyiwanqingshui，sangenkuaizi！”zheishizuijiandandepixieanzhaidexiaofamen，qingshuiyingsha，

kuaizilixin，nengzanshiwenzhuxunchangjiazhaibubeididengyinlingqinrao。duifuyanqianzheiwanyigujigouqiang，

danzhishaonenganyianrenxin。cunminmenxiangshizhaodaolezhuxingu，mangbudiedidiantou，diediezhuangzhuangdisanle。

woranglaochendaiwoquneigeshizuluoshuiguniangzuihouzhudedifang。neishigehebianlinshidadewopeng，

yuanbenshijikanyurenzhude，houlaihuangfeile，guniangmeidifangqu，jiuzanshiqishenzaizheili。wopengyouaiyouchao，

yigumeiweihunhezheshuixingqi。limianzhiyouyizhangpomubanchuang，yikoudiaoleqidemuxiangzi，jianloudekelian。

wozaichuangbanfengxili，zhaodaojigenzhangzhangde、weijuandetoufa。youdakaixiangzi，

limianshijijianxidefabaidejiuyifu，zuidixia，yazheyikuaixiuleyibandeyuanyangshoupa，zhenjiaoximi，

nengkanchuguniangshigeshouqiaoderen。wonianqineijigentoufa，zhijianchuanlaijixiweide、yinlengdechugan。bishangyan，

jizhongjingshen，shituganzhicanliudeqixi——juewang、bugan、haiyouyisi……weiruode、xinshengmingdejidong？

danhenkuaibeigengpangdadeyuandusuoyanmei。“tajiaoshenmemingzi？”wowengenzaihoumian、daqibuganchudelaochen。

“hao……haoxiangjiaoxiaocui……xingliu，liuxiaocui。”laochenda。“bitaderen，shishei？”wozhengkaiyan，

muguangrudao。laochenlenghanyouxialaile，

yanshenduoshan：“zhei……zheimeipingmeijude……buhaoluanshuoa……”“dengtazhaoshangmen，jiuyoupingjule。

”wolenghengyisheng，meizaibiwen。yuanyoutouzhaiyouzhu，neixiewuruoshiliuxiaocuisuohua，tachizaohuiquzhaozhengzhu，

woxianzaigengzhongyaodeshinongqingtadedixihezheicanbeideguanlian。wozoudaowopengmenkou，

kanxiangbuyuanchuneijiezaiyesezhonggengxianguiyidecanbei，youkanxiangheichenchendehemian。luopanzaizheilizhizhenhuangdegengxiong，

biaomingzheilide“qi”hunluandaolejidian。neidongxinengshanganliuxiajiaoyin，shuomingqi“xing”yijianningshi，

buzaishijiandandeyouhunyuannian。shishuixiao？haishixingchengleshadehepiaozi？

huozheshibeineicanbeiyiwai“yang”chulaidegengxiemendedongxi？guangkaojigentoufaganyingtaimohu，

woxuyaogengzhijiede“meijie”。“quzhaoyijiantashengqiantieshende、changyongdedongxi，zuihaoshizhanguotaxuede！

”woduilaochenshuo。laochenhedeyiduosuo：“xue？zhei……zheishangnazhaoqu？”“yuejingdai，

huozheshenghaiziyongdejiandao、bupianshenmede，zongyouyiyang！”womeihaoqidao。chulizheizhongshi，

gujibuleneimeduo。laochenlianbiedetonghong，banshangcainierudao：“haoxiang……tingshuodangshitaluoshui，

zhengzhashizhijiafenglidaizheheni，

deshouxin……caxuedebutiaomaybe……maybetashenzijishouqilaile……danrendoumeile，

zheidongxibujili，buzhidaohailiuzhemei……”“daiwoquzhao！”wohaobukeqi。shengengbanye，

qiaokaileyihurenjiademen。kaimendeshigemiansehuangkongdezhongnianfunv，tingminglaiyihou，liansegengshicanbai，

youyulebantian，caicongkangjuzuidicengmochugexiaobubao，doudousuosuodidijiwo，xiangshipazhanshanghuiqi。

bubaolishijikuaixiguodanyijiucanliuanhesewuzidebutiao，sanfazheyigudandandexuexinghecaoyaohunhedeweidao。

jiushitale！wonazhebutiao，youranglaochenzhaolaiyizhanlaoshidemeiyoudeng（diandengbuxing，huoguangbuwen，

rongyishoucichangganrao），zaiyaoleyiwangangdashanglaideheshui。huidaowopeng，guanshangmen。

hunandeyoudengguangmangtiaoyuebuding，jiangwomendeyingziladehuzhanghuduan，niuquditouzaiqiangbishang，

xiangshihuowuzaiwudong。wobabutiaojinruwanzhongheshuili，butiaoshangdewuziyushuiweiweihuakai，

qingshuifanqiyisijidandefenhong。ranhou，woquchusangenxindefengyizhen，pingzhuhuxi，

jiangzhenjianxiaoxinyiyidizaibutiaoxuejizuinongchuzhanlezhan。“zushiyezaishang，diziluyuan，jinjiexueweiyin，

tanyousuowei，wangqimingshi……”wodishengniansongzhetanlingkoujue，shouwanyidou，sangenzhenshandianbanciruwanzhong！

zhenjianrushui，jingmeiyouchendi，ershimengdishuleqilai，zhenjianchaoxia，weiweizhandouzhe，

zaishuimianpaichengyigejixiaode、buduanxuanzhuandesanjiao！laochenzaiyipangkandeyandouzhile，daqibuganchu。

shuimiankaishiwufengqizhou，yisangenzhenweizhongxin，dangkaiyiquanquanximidelianyi。youdengdehuomiaomengdicuangao，

youzhouranyadi，mingmiebuding。wodejingshengaodujizhong，quanbuyiniandouguanzhuzaineisangenzhenshang，

shitutongguozheixueshuimeijie，“kan”daoyuzhiguanliandejingxiang。

juewangdezhengzha……haiyou……yigenbinglengjianyingdedongxi……xiangshishitou……shangmiankezhedongxi……shineicanbei！

taluoshuishizhuangshanglecanbei？huozhe……shibeishenmedongxianzailebeishang？huamianzhiliposui，

chongchizheqiangliedetongkuheyuanhen。danjinjiezhe，wo“kan”daoleyixiebiededongxi——bushilaiziliuxiaocui，

ershilaizineicanbeibenshen！neiwuhuide、xuejiasidehenjixiamian，fuwenfangfohuoleguolai，niuqurudongzhe，

sanfachugenggulao、gengyinchendeeyi……neisihubujinjinshizhenshuifuwen，zaigengdiceng，

haiyangaizhebiedeshenme……xiangshiyige……yigezhaohuanhuozheqiujindeyinji？

erliuxiaocuideyuanhunheweichushitaierdexiantianyinqi，yinchayangcuozhixia，

sihuchenglejihuohuozheweiyangzheiyinjide“jipin”！woxintoujuzhen，zhengxiangkandegengzixixie，

neisangenshulidefengyizhenturanjuliedizhandouqilai，fachu“wengweng”defengmingsheng！

wanzhongdeshuixiangshibeizhukaileyiyangfangunmaopao，yanseshunjianbiandeqiheirumo！“peng！”deyishengqingxiang，

sangenzhentongshizhalie，suichenglejifen！yiguwuxingdeyinlengliliangshunzheshuiwanfanshierlai，womenhengyisheng，

mengdihoutuiyibu，xiongkouxiangshibeizhongchuizaleyixia，qixuefanyong。youdengdehuomiao“pu”diyishengximiele。

wopenglixianruchedideheiansiji。zhiyouwanlineiqiheirumo、haizaiweiweidangyangdeshui，

sanfazhelingrenzuooudexingchou。“lu……luxiansheng……”laochendaizhekuqiangdeshengyinzaiheianzhongxiangqi，

“gang……gangcaineishishenme……”womeishuohua，moquzuijiaoyichudeyisixingtian，xinzanghaizaikuangtiao。made，

zheicanbeidixiazhendedongxi，biwoxiangxiangdehaiyaoxiongdeduo！liuxiaocuideyuanhunkongpazhishibeiliyongledepaitoubing！