remenxiaoshuo《xiuxianguilai，congwangyuechesijikaishi》shizuozhexuezhonghongqingxinchuangzuodeshideyibuhenhaokandexiaoshuo，zheibenxiaoshuodezhujiaoshiluyunbaichenyuer，qingjieyinrenrusheng，feichangtuijian。zhuyaojiangdeshi“kuaiqiao，shichendaxiaojielaile。”tayikuarumenkou，shunjianchengweiwanzhongzhumudejiaodian，shangyimiaoyouyuandebiaoqing，xiayi……
第5章
sanlianghaocheyicitingzaidamenkou。
lianggeshencaikuiwudeheiyibaobiaolakaichemen，luotianhaoyishenkaqisexizhuang，shoupengyishumeiguihua，congrongyouyaxialeche，jiezhe，yigeshuzhedayoutou，sanshisuizuoyoudeyouniqingnianyegenzhezoulexialai。
“雨儿，晚上好。”
luotianhaoweiweiyixiao，binbinyoulisongshangmeigui。
chenyuerjilejizuijiao,butaiqingyuanjieguomeigui，shengyinsisilengyi：“benlaixinqingtinghao，nilaijiuyoubuhaole。”
luotianhaobuyiweiran，rengshiweixiao，“yuer,woshigennidaoqiande，nihuiguocaibannian，guoneihenduorenqingshiguhaibulejie，yongfumuzhimingqiangponijiehun，shiwotaipianjile，zanmenyihouderizihaihenzhang，keyimanmanshiying。”
shuozhe，tazhilezhishenhoudechaojipaoche,“zheiliangpaocheshiwozhuanmencongchekulitiaoxuanchulaisongjinidedaoqianliwu，xiwangninenggouxihuan。”
chenyuerzhijuedeyizhenexin，xiangfanwei，luotianhaoshishenmeren，taxinlizaiqingchubuguole,tagangxiangkaikoujujue。
“堂妹呀！”
youniqingniankaikoudaduanletadehua，“nijintiandangzhejianghaishisuoyoudarenwudemiantaohun，bujinrangluojiananlekan，yerangzanchenjiadiulemianer，duokuiluoshaotadarendaliang，nijijiaohaisongpaochegennidaoqian，kebunengzairenxingjujuele。”
ershuchenbodezhangzi，chenyuerdeqintangge，chendebiao。
chenyueryanzhongshanguoyisiyane，zicongtayeyesileguohou，zheixieqinqiquandoudaoxiangleluojia，yaobushizheixieshiliyan，tayejueduibuhuibeibijiehun。
“tangmei，zheishiniqingdebaobiaoa？”chendebiaozhizheluyunbaiwen。
chenyuerlenglenghuileyiju，“shiyouzenmeyang？”
“nideyanguangyetaichaleba？niqiaota，yishenditanhuo，yifuqiongsuanyang，buzhidaodehaiyiweishinagexiangxialaidetubaozini！”
chendebiaochaofengzhe，zhixiangshenhoulianggexizhuanggelvdezhuanghan，xuanyaodao：“qiao，zheigecaijiaozuozhuanyebaobiao。yiwokana，nihaishibazheitubaozicituile，huitougejiniqinglianggegenghaode。”
“qie，jiuzheiliangshadageme？haibugouluyunbailiangquantouni！”
chenyuerduilianggebaobiaobuxieyigu，piantouxiangluyunbaixunzhaogongming，“nishuoshibushi？”
zheilianggezhuanghanmingxianbushixianqianluxingneibanghuosenengbide，danluyunbaideyanzhong，wuwaihushidayidiandechouyulanxiabale。
“zheilianggeren，dequebutairuliu。”
“笑话！”
shengaojiejinyimijiudezhuanghanbaobiao，dabuzoudaoluyunbaigenqian，yishengaoyoushiwangxiakan，daizhetiaoxindekouwenwendao：
“xiaozi，nishicongnalituixialaide？budui？tegong？baobiaoxueyuan？haishi......mengnanyezonghuia？”
“nidezuibayoudianchou，liwoyuanyidian。”
luyunbailengzheyanshen，enzhuzhuangbiaodexiongtangqingqingyitui，kansiqingying，shizeanjingbaofa。
zhuangbiaoyingshengshenghoutuilesiwubu。
“jirantadekouqizheimeda，neijiurangtamenbishibishibei？’
chendebiaotiyidetongshi，heluotianhaoduilegeyanshen，zheiyeshitamenjinwanzhaolaidemude。
“buguowochouhuashuozaiqiantou，longtaoyuzhangmeng，doushidingjibaobiaoxueyuan‘landunanbaoxueyuan’chulaidejingying，yiquantounengdasiyitouniu......suhuashuo，quanjiaowuyan，wanyibuxiaoxindasilenizheiweibaobiao，womenkeshiburenzede。”
“这......”
chenyuerpiexiangluyunbai，yanshenzhongyouxinren，yeyoujifendanyou。
luyunbaiyebuhanhu，wangkongchunuolejibu，chonglongtaohezhangmenggoulegouleshouzhang：
“neijiulianggeyiqishangba。”
“chi......shajiyanyongniudao，dani，woyigejiugoule！”
zhuangbiaolongtaoniejinquantou，rumenghupushi，chongxiangluyunbai。
bukuishizhuanyebaobiao，sudufeichangzhikuai。
danzailuyunbaiyanzhong，haishishaoweiyoudianmanle，tadejingonglushu，xiaquandeweizhi，baoludepozhan，jianzhiyiqingerchu。
luyunbaidengquantoukaojin，ceshenxianshanguochongquan，zhuanshouezhulongtaoshouwan，qingqingyinie，“kaca”guliesheng，gabengcui！
“a！”longtaocanjiao，juliedetengtong，rangtashunjianshiqudikangli。
luyunbaitaituiyijiaochuaizailongtaoyexia，yimijiujidezhuanghanfeichuqibamiyuan，daozaidishangkoutuxianxue。
“你找死！”
zhangmengdengdimianerqi，feitichuaixiangluyunbai。
ruguosudubugoukuai，bugouzhun，bugouhen，shibujianyiliantuifade，yinweipozhanshizaitaiduo，tebieshikuaxia。
luyunbaifanshenxiayao，duoguofeilaidetiji，suihouyijishanggouquan，zazaizhangmengbaoluwuyidekuaxia。
fangfoshitingdaolekepadeshengyin。
“a！”zhangmengwuzhedangbu，shuangtuizhandouleliangxia，puzaidishangtengdekudiehanniang！
jinjinsanzhaoliangshi，jingdechendebiaomudengkoudai，“zhei......zheizenmekeneng......tamenkeshijingyingbaobiao，zenmekenengbeinigetubaozijidabai！”
luyunbailenglengyixiao，zoudaochendebiaogenqian，enzhetadejianbanghenhenyinie。
“a，tengtengteng！nisongshou，nisongshou......”chendebiaoziyaliezui。
“nishibushigouyankanrendi？”luyunbailengshengwendao。
“nitamacaishigouni！nizhidaolaozishisheime？”chendebiaotengdepokoudama。
luyunbaizaiyongyifenli，jiudechendebiaojianbanggazhigazhixiang，yonggenglengdeyuqiwenleju：
“ni，shibushigouyankanrendi？”
“aiyo......wo，woshi......woshi......”
“neixueliangshenggoujiaolaitingting？”
“ni......nitamabietaiguofenle！”
“嘎吱！”
luyunbaizaiduyongli，chendebiaozhenggerendouailebanjie，tengdeliansefaqing。
“wangwangwang，wangwangwang......”
一边嚎，一边叫。
还别说，真挺像。
luyunbaisashoutuikaichendebiao，jiezheyibuyibuzouxiangluotianhao。
“nixiangganshenme？”luotianhaobubuhoutui。
“buxiangganshenme，wojiushijuedenideyanjingyoudianjingzhi。”
luyunbaizoudaoluotianhaogenqian，shouyishen，zhaixialuotianhaobiliangshangdejinsiyanjing，zuanzaizhangxindangzhetademianqingqingyinie！
zaitankaishoushi，jingpianyichengsuizhazi。
luyunbaiduizheshouzhangqingqingyichui，canzhapenleluotianhaoyilian，zheizhishiyigejinggao。
mianduizheiwushengdeweixie，luotianhaolianpibutingchouchu，yijuhuayebuganduoshuo，benyiweidailianggezhuanyedashoujiuzugouduifuzheijiahuole，meixiangdaotajingranzheimelihai，jinwanyaoshizaihetayingpengyingdehua，yidingbuhuiyouhaoguozichi。
luotianhaoqiangyanhuanxiao，nulirangzijidandingyixie，tamuguangraoguoluyunbai，wangxiangchenyuershuodao：
“mingwanwodasuanzaidihaojiudianbanyichang‘cishanwanhui’shimibujintianhunliduigeweibinkedezhaodaibuzhou，yuer，weilewomenliangjiadeyouyi，niyidingyaochuandepiaoliangdian，biediulewodemianzi。”
shuowan，yebuguanchenyuerbiaotaiyufou，jiudasuanhuidaocheshang。
“等一下。”
luyunbaituranhanzhuluotianhao，zhilezhidaozaidishangdelianggebaobiao，“zheiliangzhichouyulanxia，qingdabaodaizou。”
luotianhaoyaoleyaoya，“hao，henhao......”ranhouzhaohusijiyiqibabaobiaofushangche。
“tangmeia，neige......houtianzanjiayaozhaokaidongshihuile，niyidingyaozhunshicanjiae。”
chendebiaodingzhulesheng，jimanggenzhezuoshangche，taoyibanwangzhuangyuanwaixingshi。
dengchekaichudagai20laimi，chendebiaoxiaoxinyiyitanchutoulai，chongluyunbaipokoudama：
“nitamagechoukaiwangyuechede，xianzailaiyaolaozia！wogaosuni，jintiandezhanglaozijixiale，yihouniderizibiexianghaoguo！”
zeze，zhenshijiandimeibianerle！
luyunbaidandingcongdishangshiqiyikuaishitou，guanyudagoudezheijianshiqing，baimikaiwaibuzaihuaxia。
miaozhunchechuangneike“goutou”，shoubeixuliyireng——
“咻！”
“哧！”
“咚！”
“啊！”
一声惨叫。
有个人喜提脑震荡。
妻子酒后越界，下场比鬼还惨
作者：天天走上
栏目：都市
zuozhe：wowudilehaizinuligen
栏目：都市
zuozhe：xiangzuobaifumeidexiaoniu
栏目：都市
假装穷小子体验生活，校花女友当众羞辱我，我摊牌了。
zuozhe：choumingzhaozhudemingzhengnvdi
栏目：都市
作者：木千
栏目：都市
一屋子亲戚逼我交出抚恤金，说我是个废物不配用
作者：加勒比海怪
栏目：都市
