zhurengongjiaoyetiansumiaoyandexiaoshuojiaozuo《xianxuqingliubu》，zheibenxiaoshuodezuozheshixiashangzhouchuangzuodedoushishenghuoleixingdexiaoshuo，qingjieyinrenrusheng，feichangtuijian。zhuyaojiangdeshi：“yetian，nizheigefeiwu，bupeidangsujianvxu，likegunchusujia！”“xianxuqingliubu，qingyuanliangwomenyouyanwuzhu，qiuqiunibuyaolikaisujia……”wudixianzunzhongshengdoushi，yingdejiaoqifangxin，mibuqianshiyihan，hengsaoqianshichoudi，yilishijiezhidian！...
haobanshang，xujiayishitingzhong。
xujuntaixiongdiliangbingbuqingchu，zijiliangdetanhua，yijingbeirenqietinglequ。
“dage，neigairuhechuzhineixiaochusheng……”
xiayike，xujunshanmuguangyinlengdexunwendao。
小畜生？！叶天！
xujuntaitingzhebuzijuezuanjintieshou，muguanghaobuyanshidebaoluchushayi。weiyideerzi，beirendaduanleshuangtui，zhihaoyehuiliuxiabinggen。jishizuoweixiaoxiongbanderenwu，xujuntaiqinengbujieyi。
zhongyu，xujuntaimuguangjueduan。
“抓！”
“…mimidezhuabuyetian，shale，chenshidahai！！danshijizhu，zheijianshijuebunengrangniwoyiwaiderenzhidao。”
leimingbuxiangzheipihuochuxianchachi，xujuntaiyouhechangxiwang？！wulunruhe，xianzaidonghaidemuguangbunengzhuanxiangtamenxujia。
“是。”
徐君山点头。
嘭！！！
huran，ketingdamenbeirentuikaile。budengxujuntaihechi，yidaoyanlideshengyinxiangqi。
“xujuntai，xujunshan，yourenjubaonimensizangdupin……”
jingcha，dapidejingchazhanzaimenwai，shanshuodejingdeng，touyicikandexujuntaiyouxiexinhuang。zhengdangtamianqiangzhendingxinshenzhiwenshi，dianhuaxiangle。xujuntaiyuganbuhaodenaguojietong。
啪！
henkuai，dianhuahualuo。weiduneitoudeshengyinyijiuxiangzhe。
“xuzong，youjingchajinrucangku，souchu……”
啪嗒。
xujuntaiwulidezuozaiyizishang。
lianshangmianqiangbaochizhending，danshiyanzhongdebukezhixin、huianbaoluwuyi。
yishunjianhuangruolaoleshiduosui！
xujuntaiqingchu，donghaibutingbuhuiqingyidongtaxujia，dongdehua，yidingzhangwolezhengju。erqiebingfenlianglu，yilulaixujia，yiluquyuanfangjituan，xianranzuohaolewanquandezhunbei。
erbian，didi、guanjiayijixujiarenjiaojidehuhan，huangruoyuanqule……
cikedexujuntai，haosizhishengxiayijufuxiudekongqiao。
dierri，sujiayishiting。
xujiabeichadexiaoxi，haiweigongbuchulai。cikedesujiaren，queshixianrushenshendezhenjingzhong，yinweifeiwunvxuyetian，anranwuyangdehuilaile。xianzaitabushiyinggaizaijianyulima？dabufenren，xinzhongrushixiangdao。
“yetian，nizenmechulaide？”
zheijuhua，beishouweishangdesutiewenchulai，canglaodeyanmouzhong，daidainongnongdebukezhixin！xujuntaidexingge，taqingchu，yaoshidingshangyigeren，feidebadiaocengpibuke！youqiyetianzhongshangxufei，xujuntaibukenengbubaofu。
shenzhisutiezuowanhaizaicaice，zheiciyetiannengbunengbaozhuxiaoming？！
buchengxiangyetianxianzaihaohaodezhanzaizijimianqian。
dangranxianzaiyaoshuweiyetiangaoxingdezhiyousuqingshi，huoxuhaiyougenzaihoumian，meimoushangxiadaliangtadesumiaoyanle。cike，suqingshiyibafuzhuyetianshoubei。
“nizheixiaozi，zenmechulaide？”
“没事吧？”
funvliangjielianxunwendao，poweiguanxin，dangranshengyinzhongdezhenjing，tongyangyangaibuzhu。
ziranyetiantingzhemuguangshanshuo，sisuozheshibushi，yinggaibiangehuangzanshimanguodeshihou，dianshizhongdeyizexinwen，xiyinlesuoyourendezhuyi，youxierenshenzhicalecayanjing，xianranbuxiangxindianshizhongkandaode。
daoshiyetianshuleyikouqi，tongyangkanzhedianshi，zuijiaobujinluchulengxiao。
yinweixinwendebofangde，zhengshixujiabeichadexiaoxi！
“…16ridian，zuoyelingchen3dianban，donghaijingfangtuxiyuanfangcangku，chachudaliangde……”
“…tongshijingfangbingfenlianglu，qianwangxujiabieshu，kongzhilezhuyaorenyuan……”
“…zhidezhuyideshi，zheipixinxingdupinzangnizaiyusushijituanjijianghezuoyunshudeyushihuojuzhong，juxi……”
dianshizhong，buduanchuanchuxianchangbaodao。jizhebeihoudeyuanfangdasha，yiranlaqiminghuangsedejingjiexian。
…呼……
liangjiu，mougesujiazurenzhangchuyikouqi，kanzhedianshizhongdexinwen，chuqide，sheidoumeiyoulvxianshuohua！zheilizuodemeiyoushazi，sheidoumingbaiyigedaoli。
suoxingzaihezuozhiqianchalechulai，fouzedupinyaoshizaisujiahuochuanshangbaoluchulai，kongpadaoshihoujiushihuangnibadiaokudang，bushishiyeshishile。daoshihou，tamenyigedoutaobule。
zheiyangxiangzhe，bushaojilizanchengliangjiahezuodezurenmianseqingbaibianhuan，youxierenhenbudeniutoujiuzou。youqishouzuoshangdesutie，laoliangengshijingcaiyichang，youhouhui，youqingxing，gengduodeshiganga。
weidusuqingyunsongleyikouqi。
“keke，jiranxujiadouzheiyangle，neihezuoyejiuwucongtanqi！suoyimiaoyanyuyetiandehunshi，wojuedehaishi……”
xiayike，suqingyunsaoguozhongren，kesouzheshuodao。shunjiansuoyourenmuguangzhuanxiang，kanxiang。
好运的小子！！
dabufenrenxinzhongrushixiangzhe。zaitamenkanlai，xujiadouyijingfashengrucibiangu，yejiugubushangzhuijiuyetian。congweijiangyetianyuxujiabeichalianxizaiyiqi，bijingneitaifengkuangle。
kexisuqingyunhuaweishuowan，sutiemiansezhuanleng，zhijiezhonghengdao。
“miaoyandehunshi，bixuquxiao！wosujia，rongbuxiayigereshishengfeidedongxi！”
renyuelao，yueyaolian。sutiezheizhong，chufeiyixiazizhenzhu，fouzeshigubuhua。ziranyetiantingzhe，buzijuezuanjinquantou。taaimiaoyan，budaibiaoxihuansujia。
qianshizheixierendeguzhijijian，bujinhuilezishen，gengshizangsongzijishenaidenvren……
啪！
zhishiweidengyetianshuohua，shenpang，sumiaoyanlazhutadeshoubei，yaoleyaotou。
“爸？！”
xiayike，suqingyunshengyinjiaoji。
kexisutieyiranbishangyanjing，buting。huoxuyinweixujiadaotai，lingtayanmianjinshi，danshiquzhuyetiandexiangfa，weicenggaibian。cike，ketingzhongdezurenhaosizhaodaoxuanxiekou，yigunaodeyilunqihunyuelai。
buchuyiwai，bajiuchengdezurenquandoubutongyi。
shengxiadezhijieyancijilie。
“yejiaxiaozi，woquannishixiang，zaodianlikai。nigenbenpeibushangmiaoyanbiaojie……”
yetianzhoumei，kanxiangchangzhonglengchaorefengdejiahuo。jianerhousai，mianmaochoulou，yiyanlingrenxinshengyane！
suzijie，sumiaoyandabo，suqingshideerzi。yiqianyuxufeizoudejijin，changchangduiyetianyusumiaoyandehunshishuosandaosi。jinnianlaisuizhesuqingshidiweishuizhangchuangao，zaijiazuneihengxingwuji。
“neiruhecainengpeideshang？”
yetianpaizhesumiaoyanshoubei，jilegeanxindeyanshen。
qishen，lenglengdexunwendao。
suzijieyileng，zheifeiwuheshibianderuciqiangying？buguokanzhezhichizijidezurenduo，tagengjiadezhigaoqiang，shuoleyiju。
“…zuiqimadeshixu…keke，duiwosujiayougongde，neiyangderenwocaihuixinganqingyuanjiaoyishengjiefu。”
yuanbensuzijiexiangshuoxufei，keshimaosixujiazhongyaorenwu…doubeikongzhile，shuobudedouyaoxiadayu！
“那叫姐夫吧。”
xiayike，yetianhaobukeqideshuodao。suzijielenglepianke，fanyingguolaichadiancuiyikou。
“wopei！nishuoniduisujiayougong，haha…kexiao，niyaoshiyougong，wowo，wobadianshijichile……”
yishimeileshuoci，suzijiesaoguodianshi，duizheyetianehenhendeshuodao。
话音落，满座皆静！
daoshisumiaoyanlachezhezhanqideyetian。ziransuqingyunweinanqilai，xiangyaozhiyuannvxu。danshiyaotaxiangxinyetianyougongyusujia，haishibutaikeneng。shouweishang，sutiezhengkaiyanjing，kanzheyanqiandenaoju，zhengyaoshuohua，queshikandaoguanjiacongcongzoulai。
“laoye，yourenbaifang，shuoshishi……”
“什么？”
苏铁皱眉。
“…shilaiganxieyetianguyede……”
gu…gugu……hahaha…
xiayike，datingzhongguaixiaoshengsiqi，zhuanerdaxiao，zhongrenfenfenchaonongdekanzheyetian。jiuzheifeiwu，nengbangzhushenme？fulaonainaiguomalu，haishishuojiuleluoshuidehonglingjinxiaoguniang。
“haha，yefeiwu，nidaodiganleshenme？rangrenjiadalaoyuanpaoyitang，kongpadoubuzhicheqianba！hahaha……”
guobuqiran，suzijiechaofeng。zheicisuoxingchenghushanglefeiwu！
啪。
zheiciweidengyetianfanu，sumiaoyanyipaizhuozi，zhanqishen。
“suzijie，zhuyinideyanci，wosumiaoyanhaiweitongyijiechuhunyue！”
柳眉高竖。
poyoulengduiqianfuzhidezitai。
diyici，sumiaoyanshuochuzijilichang。wodehunshi，wozuozhu！shouweishang，sutieweibukechadesaoguosunnv，zheishiguyishuojizijitingma？！
tingchusumiaoyanzhengfengxiangduisutiedebuzhiyiren，buyuanchu，suqingyunjiaojidekanzhenver，daoshizuozhedesuqingshilenglengyixiao，qishen，huanguyizhou。
“miaoyanzhinv，ciyanchayi。”
学神的心动通告
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室友嫌我送外卖，他哥护我在身后
作者：会元的艾吉
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学渣摆烂，反卷成神豪
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下乡后，我成了国宴大厨
作者：倒立的可乐
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老婆深夜点了次外卖后，我直接离婚
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未婚妻动了签筒，上上签要留给弟弟
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