《xiuzhenguilaidangnaiba》jiangshulewutianzhoumeinazhijiandeaiqinggushi，xiaoshuorenwuzhenshishengdong，qingjiemiaoxiexini，kuailaiyueduba。yidaixianzunzhongshengguilai，jingchenglenaiba！...
第一章归来
“我还没死？”
wutianhuanhuandezhengkaileyanjing，kandaozhouweideyiqiemoshengyoushuxi，lansedechuanglian，baisedeqiangbi，cibidexiaodushuiweidao。
“zheilishiyiyuan？wohuidaodiqiule？”
“qitasandadijunchenwodujiezhijitouxiyuwo，shizunshemingxiangjiu。”
“dingshishizunyonglebishengxiuwei，baolewohunpobusan，jieshihaihun，zhongguidiqiu！”
wutianbenshihuaxiadeyigeputongdaxuesheng，pinxuejianyou，yiyouyidechengjikaodaolehuaxiayiliuyiyuanchengweiyisheng。
meixiangdaobeitongxiaofuerdaidingtilegongzuo，wutianbufuxiangquzhaofuerdaililun，zailushangquebeifuerdaipailaidesijizhuangsi。
duokuiwutiandeshizunluguo，jianwutianhuigenyiyuchangren，jiuhuowutianlaidaolexiuzhenjie，congcikaishixiuzhenzheitiaonitianzhilu。
rujinyihuangyishiwannian——
“baba，baba......”zheigeshihou，yigeshifenkeaidexiaonvhai，zhengzheshuiwangwangdeyanjing，shoulimiannazheyigepingguozouleguolai。
nvhaideliansecanbai，peishangkeaideliandan，rangrenkanzhejiuxinteng。
wutianturanganjuetineidexuemaiyizhenfanteng，zijihexiaonvhaiwuxingzhizhonghaoxiangyouzhezhongzhongdeqianlian。
“ni......nizaijiaowo？”wutianzaichuangshanghuanhuanqilai，kanzhexiaonvhaiyouxiejinge。
xiaonvhaizhijiezuozaidishang，wawadaku，yanleishunzhejingzhidexiaolianbutingdeliulexialaia。
“baba，nishibushiyoubuxiangyaomeimeile。”
“meimeiganggangmeiyoutaoqi，meimeiqujilijiejieniantonghuagushiqule。”
“lijiejie，haisonglewopingguo。”
“woteyinahuilai，jibabachide。”
meimeimeikuyisheng，jiuyouruyourennazhedao，zaiwutiandexinshangchashangyidaoyiban。
zheiganjue，dangzhenshixinrudaoge——
wutiancengjingdanzhizhijian，tianhuofencheng，santiansanye，shaolemanshierendezuiezhicheng，chengzhongzhirenwuyirentaotuo。
youcengjingyirenxuexisandaxieemenpai，sanqiansanbaisanshisangeeguanmanyingdexieexiushiquanbujisha。
shitiduijirushan，xueshuiliutangchenghe，canjiaozhishengbujueyuer，kongqizhongdouchongmanlexuexingzhiwei。
changmianchengdeshangshi，renjiandiyu——
yisharudaodewutiandijun，shuangshoushiqudeshenglingbujiqishu，hecengyouguozheizhongxintongzhigan。
wutiansihaobuhuaiyi，zheixiaonvhaimeimei，zhengshizijixianzaishentidenver。
wutianganjinbaoqimeimei，batafangzailebingchuangshang，meimeizheicaitingzhilekuqi，caganyanleiyanjingyizhayizhadekanzhewutian。
zhinendexiaoshou，diguolaiyigehonghongdepingguo，xiaoxinyiyideshuozhe。
“baba，niburengxiameimeihaoma？”
“woyihouzaitongyebukule，womenzheijiuhuijiaba。”
“wobuhuizailangfeibabamaijiudeqianlaimaiyaole。”
tingjianmeimeidehua，dijunxiuweidewutian，yanleixianxieliulechulai，zijizheishentiyiqianshiyouduome**a。
ruoshizaixiuzhenjierangzijiyudaozheidengbailei，dingranbatadehunpobianxiajiuyou，shengshengshishishoukuxingzhiku——
wutianbuzhidaoruhehongmeimei，xiayishidejieguolepingguo，wangzuibianjiuyaofangqu。
zheigeshihouyishengbaonudejiaoheshengyinxiangqi：“wutiannihaishibushiren。”
“meinachuquzhuanqian，rangnilaizaokanmeimeiyitian，nihelepingbaijiuzhihou，tangzaimeimeidechuanshangjiushui。”
“meimeirujinyijingyitianweichifan，niquelianwojitadepingguodouyaoqiangzou！”
wutianwenshengwangqu，zhangxiangjingzhi，shencaigaotiaodemeinvzhengnushizheziji，kuandadebinghaofusihaodangbuzhutalinglongdeshencai。
“dadan，benjunruhehuielezijidenver。”
“ruhehuiqiangzijinverdeshiwu。”
wutianyidengyan，yishengdahe。
dunshijianwuneidekongqidouhaoxiangjianglejiduyiban，zhouweidebingrenhejiashugegezhidalengzhan。
meinvgengshizhijiezuozailezijidechuangshang，liansecanbaibuzhisuocuo。
kanjianzhouweirendeyangzi，wutianganjinshouleweiya，xinlimiananzizize。
zheinvrenzeguaideshishentideyuanbenzhuren，hezijibingwuguanxi。
xinghaoqiannianxiuxingyichaojinsang，yaoburanganggangzheiququyishengbaohe，zheifangjianneidefanren，wuyirenkeshenghai——
suiranxiuweijinsang，danshidijunzhiwei，zhiliuxiaqianwanfenzhiyi，yebushizheixiefanrenchengshoudelede。
wutianshouleweiya，nvrencaihuanguolai，jingedekanzhewutian，ganggangneiyikezijihaoxiangyujianleyaochirendelaohuyiban。
zhenggerennaodaiyipiankongbai，liankongjuzheizhongbennengdouwangjile——
rujinhuanguoshenlai，zhizhidaoshiwutiandashengdehouleziji，zhen**zijizaojiukantabushunyan。
rujinjingranhouziji，dingranyaojiaoxunta——
zheigeshihoumeimei，kuzhedangzhulemeinv：“lijiejiebiemababa，tatiantianhejiuhaojitianmeichifanle。”
“mamashuobabazaibuchifanjiuhuisidiaode。”
“meimeibuxiangmeiyoubaba，zheipingguoshimeimeijibabachide。”
meimeizuilimiandelijiejie，mingjiaolilu，shimeimeibingfangdeyigebingyou，yinweimeimeidenianjixiaozhangdekeai，youshifendedongshi。
bingfanglimianderendoufeichangxihuanta——
kanjianmeimeikeliandeyangzi，linashoulepiqiehenhendewanlewutianyiyan：“suannizouyun，zaiyouxiaci，benguniangyidinghaohaojiaoxunni。”
zheigeshihouwutian，yongxiaodaokuaisudebapingguopixuediao，zhongjianyidianweiduan，wutiandedashouyifanpingguopibianchenglehongsedexiaohua。
meimeikanledengdaleyanjing，liangzhi**dexiaoshoupinlemingdepaizaileyiqi：“wa，babahaolihaia。”
yipangdeliluyehenchijing，danshikanlewutianneizhanglian，youpielepiezui：“youzheishouyiqudangmoshushia，yebuyongmeinazijizhuanqianyangjiale。”
wutiandeerliguoren，zirantingjianlelinadehua，danshibuxianglihuizheiququfanrennvzi，zhishihaoqitazuilidemeinadaodishishei。
wutianyongshouqingqingdefangzailemeimeidetoushang，zuilimiannannanziyu。
“tianshengyinyangbudiao，qixuebusheng，minggesunshang，bingrugusui，yaoshiwuyong，dingranhuobuguowusui。”
zheigeshihouyipangdelinabaonu，bugushentibushufuzhijietiaoleqilai。
“xingwude，meinashuonixianqimeimeileizhui，nazhemeinajimeimeikanbingdeqianqudubo，wojuedenizheirenyouruqinshou。”
“xianzainimingmingzhidao，haiyoujigeyuebianshimeimeiwusuideshengri，jingranhaizuzhoutahuobuguowusui。”
“hudushangbushizi，wokanniqinshouburu！”
“delexueaideweishenmeshimeimei，yinggaishinizheigechusheng！”
zheigeshihoubingfanglimiandeqitabingren，meigerendounushizhewutian。
jiulianmeimeiyedixialenaodai，toutoudekuleqilai，xianrannengtingdongwutianshuodezheiyiqie。
wutianmeiyoulihuizheixiefanrendeyanshen，yibabaoqilemeimei，zaimeimeideetoushangqinleyikou。
xianranyijingjinrulefuqindejiaose，daxinlimianrenxialezheigenver——
“meimeifangxin，nizheibingdoushixiaobing，babakendingnengjinizhihao。”
zheifanrenyanlidejuezheng，zaiwutiandeyanlimiandequezhishixiaobingeryi。
meimeizheigeshihou，zaiwutiandehuailimianxiaolechulai：“gegege，babaqinyixiahaoshufude，meimeiyidianyebunanshoule，wokeyichuyuanle。”
zhouweidehuanzhehejiashuwunaideyaoleyaotou，duomechunzhenshanliangdexiaonvhai，zheigejiuguidutujijuhuanghua，jiurangtarucikaixin。
yexushitazheigejiuguifuqin，diyiciqinwentaba。
wutianzhidaozheixierendexiangfa，zhishidandandeyaoleyaotou。
ganggangwutianbazijijinshengxiadeyisibaomingzhenqi，shurudaolemeimeidetinei，zheizhenqikeyiweichimeimeideshengming。
congjinyihou，meimeibianhewutianyirongjurong，yisunjusun——
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
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作者：安诺汉森
栏目：都市
我只会说实话，老婆求我快闭嘴
作者：方方爱吃番茄
栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
栏目：都市
我给死人化妆的亲身经历
作者：八旬老贼
栏目：都市
江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
栏目：都市
