zuozhe“qingmiao”jinqishangxiandedoushishenghuoxiaoshuo，shi《yiwanfuwenghuicunhoubeidangchengzhapianfan》，zheibenxiaoshuozhongdeguanjianjiaoseshilichengyuzhangkun，jingcaineirongjieshao：“daoshihoudajiaqiandoumeile，nirenyezhaobudaole，jiaotiantianbuying，jiaodidibuling。”zhangkundezheixiehua，shashanglijida。wohuashuochulaideshihoujiu……
第1章
boshibiyehoudapinsannianchuangxiayifanshiye，bendasuanyijinhaixiang。
quemeixiangdaofulaoxiangqinbawodangchengzhapianfan。
shuowosannianbuhuijia，shiyinweizaijianyulicaifengrenjichubulai。
erchuanchuyaoyandezhengshiwoyizhibangzhudefaxiaozhangkun。
takaizhemaibahezairenqunzhongyaowuyangwei：“lichengyulantoule，liancunlirendoupian。”
wokanzhelangxingoufeidezhangkun，fenfuzhulizantinghezhangkundeyiqiehezuo。
wodaoyaokankan，meilewo，nidemaibahezenmehaideshangyuegong。
......
sannianmeiyouhuicunle，jinniandasuanhuiqukankan。
fenfuzhulizhunbeilesanchedenianhuoliwu，haijimeihucunlirenzhunbeile1wankuaidehongbao。
zhengsuoweifuguibuhaixiang，rutongjinyiyexing。
laosilaisitingzaicunkou，xiachejiukandaocunguangchangzhongyangzhangkunzuozaimaibahechetou。
zhengzaijieshoucunlimianrendechuipeng。
wokanzhexiaomaleyishengzheixiaozizhenhuizhuang，rangsijibachekaiyuanyidian，bieqiangletadefengtou。
zhangkunjiushiwodaizhetafacaide，jinnianhuilaihaiyouyigemude。
jiushirangxiaoshihouyiqizhangdadexiaohuobanmendouhezhangkunyiyangzhuandaoqian。
rangtamenbuyongzaiweileshengjiquwaididagongbenbo。
zhuligaosuwonianhuoliwuhaiyoubangexiaoshicainengdao。
wodianlediantou，daizhetawangcunlizouqu。
luguocunguangchangquetingdaozhangkunzairenqunzhongxuanyang：
“woshilaolaoshishizuoshengyicaizhuandaodeqian，buxiangzancunlidemouxierenzhihuikengmengguaipian。”
“fanlezhapianzui，xianzaihaizaijianyuliguanzheni。”
zheihuayichucunlirennikankanwo，wokankanni。
douwenzhangkunzheirenshishei，shuoyaoshijicunlimoheijiubataganchucunzi。
zhangkunxiaozhewendajia：“zancunlichulewozhiwai，haiyousheisannianmeihuiguojiade。”
“lichengyu！”yourenhanchulewomingzi。
danmashangyourenzhiyi，“keshichengyutabushiyijingkaoshangboshilema？”
“tashizanmencunlimianzuiyouchuxideyigea。”
“zenmekenengzuozhapianfanni。”
zhangkunbailebaishou，yiliantanxidao：
“zhengsuoweirenbukemaoxiang，woyiqianyeconglaimeixiangdaoguozheibeizinengkaishangmaibahe。”
“lichengyushicongming，danshitadecongmingyongcuoledifang。”
“tazhiqianhaizhaowojieqianlaizhe，wodangshiyiweitayoushenmejishijiubaqianjiejitale。”
“houlaijiuzaiyemeiyoulianxishangta。”
“xianzaixianglaitaneigeshihoujiushiweilepianwoqiande。”
zhangkunyilianbeitong：“wodaobushixintengqian，jiushixiangbutongcongxiaoyiqizhangdadepengyou，zabianchengzheiyangle。”
zhangkundehua，rangcunguangchangdunshirenaoqilai。
“胡说八道！”
“zhangkunnideliangxinshiranggouchilema，ruguobushilaoban，nibieshuomaibahele，liangediandongchenidoumaibuqi。”
shenpangdezhulizuanzhequantou，yaoyaqiechitiwochutou。
renqunzhongkongchuyipiandifanglai。
kandaowohou，gezhongmuguangdaizhehaoqi，jingti，haiyouzhiwen。
douzaiwenwozhendezhapianzuibeiguanjinqusannianma？
woyazhehuo，wenzhangkun：“woshenmeshihouchenglezhapianfanle。”
“haiyouwowennijieguoqianzheijianshiqing，wozijizenmebuzhidao？”
womeizhaotajieguoqian，tazhaowodaoshizhende。
nianchudeshihou，jiwofaxinxishuozaiwaimianqianleshijiwanwaizhai，wenwojieqian。
wonianzaicongxiaozhangdadeqingganshang，meixuanzezhijiejieqian，ershirangtayongyouzhuanqiandenengli。
dangshiwoyijingzhenghewanquanbugongyinglian，rangshoudixiashichangzongjianzhaodaota，songtayigeyijijingxiaoshangdequanxian。
bangtakaibangongsi，rangtaxianzainenggouyijinhaixiang。
huilaiwoyebututaduoganen，danyejueduixiangbudao，tahuidangzhequancunrendemianyaowoyikou。
zhangkundemianseyouyixiebuziran。
yanzhuzizhuandongzhe，mashangtajiuxiaohehedezouguolaipaizhewodejianbangshuo：
“huilailejiuhao，yiqiandeshijiubuyaotile。”
lazhewolaidaotademaibahemianqian，“chengyu，nixiaodeshihoubushishuozuixihuanmaibahelema。”
“yizhimengxiangzhezuoyixiamaibahe，nimaibuqi，xianzaiwomaihuilaile。”
“kanzaiyiqizhangdadeqingfenshang，keyirangnizuoshangqutiyanyixia。”
tachezhewowangcheshangche，danshiwobantianmeidong。
shenpangzhulilenghengyisheng，“womenlaobanxianzaidezuojiashilaosilaisi，maibahezaozaiyinianqianjiubuzuole。”
zhangkunmianseyihong，tayinhendekanleyanzhuli，jiezheguyidashengdeshuo：
“lichengyu，nishenmeyisi。”
“gangchuyujiudaizhenidezhapiantuanhuolaizanmencunziliyaowuyangwei。”
“shizaichenglipianbudaoqianle，yaolaizancunzilimianshashuma？”
zheihuayichu，xianchangdelaolaoshaoshaoquandoubianlelianse。
yixiexiaoshihouqinjindezhangbei，gengshizhijietuihou10duomiyuan。
xiaozhulimianhongerchi，“nihushuobadaoshenme？womenlaobanshichengyujituandechuangshiren，shenjiashijigeyi，zenmehuizuozhapian。”
“hahahahahaha。”zhangkunturanzhangkuangdedaxiaoqilai。
duizhezaichangzhongrenlangshengshuodao：“gewei，zhiqianwohaimeibawo，xianzaiwokeyiwanquanquerentamenjiushigaozhapiande。”
“nilichengyujiusuanshuoyigeshenmeqitademingziyehao，danshinipianpianshuochengyujituan。”
“gaosunimen，wojinniannenggouzhuandaozheiliangmaibahedeqian，quandoushiyinweihechengyujituanjianlilehezuoguanxi，woshitamendeyijijingxiaoshang。”
“kaozhechengyujituanzheikedashu，cainenggouzhuandepenmanboman。”
“chengyujituandelaobangenbenjiubuxingli。”
“laobanxingwang，jiaowanghu。”
“chunhuo，neishiyingyezhizhaoshangdemingzi。”zhulichouma。
wanghushiwomengongsidefuzong，gongsideyingyezhizhaoshangxiedejiushitademingzi，dantaquebushigongsideshijikongzhiren。
buguowoyemeiyouzhijiehezhangkunjiechu，suoyitabuzhidaoshiwozaibangtayezhengchang。
“zhangkun，nianchushihounijiwofaxinxijieqian，womeizhijiejieni，shixiangrangniyongyouzhuanqiandenengli。”
“shiworangshichangzongjianlianxini，bangnichuangbangongsi，jinitigongziyuanzhichi。”
“你才有现在的。”
benyiweizheihuashuochuqutahuimingbai。
quemeixiangdao，zhangkunxiaodegengjiasiyi。
“wopei，lichengyu，bujinidoudoulouchulaishijinimianzi。”
“jieguonihaiqizaiwodetoushanglashi。”
“jingxiaoshangshiwozaiyichangchangdejiuzhuoshanghechulaide。”
“chengyujituandeshichangzongjianzhisuoyibangwo，shiyinweiwochengnuolemeicijitahuikou。”
“wojinnianzonggongzhuanle150wan，danzuihoudaoshoujiuzhiyou100wan，nei50wanjiushijitadehuikou。”
wotingdaozheilizhouqimeitou，meixiangdaoshichangzongjianjingranyangfengyinwei。
jizhuliyigeyanse，denghuiqujiubatachediao。
zhangkunkanzhexiangqinmen，jingranjichulejidiyanlei。
“zaishehuishangdapinnayouneimerongyia，wojinnianhaojicihedaoweichuxue。erqiehaiyaoxianggouyiyangguizailingdaomianqianqiuzhetajiwodingdan。”
jiezhetakanxiangwo：“shi，wozhuandezheidianqiankendingbunenghenilizongbi。”
“nilizongzhiyongdongdongzui，ranhouhuyouhuyourenjiuyoudabadeqiandaozhang，woqueyaoleisileihuoqiuyeyegaonainaicainengyoudianfanchi。”
zhangkuntileihengliudehuashuowan，cunlirenkanwodeyanshenyijingshifenbushanle。
“lichengyu，womencongxiaokanzhenizhangda，nizenmenengdaocunzililaixingpianni。”
“langxingoufeidedongxi，nixiaodeshihouwohaijingchangrangniquwojiachifanni，xianzaijingranhewairenyiqidaocunzipianqian。”
“zangxinlanfei，nijiuyinggaizaijianyulimianguandaosi。”
cunlirenzuishiaizengfenming，zuotianhaishifenyaohaoderen。
jintianjiunengyinweiyidianliyijiufen，madediemaburen。
wobaisibudeqijie，zijimeidezuiguozhangkun。
taweishenmesiyaozhewoshizhapianfanbufang。
yizhejizhijiejiushuochulexianzaibugaishuodehua：
“wozhenbushizhapianfan，wohaijidajiazhunbeilenianhuo。”
“zheicihuilaiwozhuyaoshiweiledaizancunlidenianqingrenyiqizhuanqian。”
“wodegongsiyijingburuzhenggui，bingqiexianzaihaizaikuaisufazhandangzhong。”
“shoulimiandeziyuanyezugoudeduo，zancunliyiqizhangdaderen，wodoukeyirangnimenchengweixiangzhangkunzheiyangdebaiwanfuweng。”
benshizhenfenrenxindehua，quebeizhangkunxiaoshengdaduan。
“lichengyu，kuinihaishiboshibiyede。”
“pianrendecidoubuzhenggaojixiema，zheidoushiduoshaonianqiandezhapianshoufale。”
“zancunlilaorentingbudong，nianqingrenhaibudongma。”
“shuoyaodaidajiazhuanqian，ranhourangdajiaxiantouzi，dengdaodajiabaqiandoutoujinquhou，nizailaigerenjianxiaoshi。”
“daoshihoudajiaqiandoumeile，nirenyezhaobudaole，jiaotiantianbuying，jiaodidibuling。”
zhangkundezheixiehua，shashanglijida。
wohuashuochulaideshihoujiuyijingshifenhouhuile。
wuhuihaimeiyoujieshiqingchu，beizhangkunzheimeyishuo。
gujicunlirendourendingwojiushilaipiantamenqiandezhapianfanle。
wohenjilezhangkun，taruguobushidaizhewoshizhapianfanbufang。
wozhengchangshuochuzheijuhua，yebuhuiyoushenme。
tongshiyeshifenhouhui，dangchuweishenmebuzhijiehetalianluo。
gaosutashizijizaibeihoumomobangta。
danwoxianzaizuihouhuide，yinggaijiushixuanzebangtazhuanqianle。
laolaoshaoshaokanwodemuguangdoudaizhekongju，tamendouxiayishidewujinkoudai。
youzhangbeizhiwenwo，“nixiaodeshihoudiaopishidiaopiledian，danshiyeshiyigehaohaiziya，zenmexianzaibianchengzheiyangle。”
tonglingrenyedoumulubishi。
xiaoshihougenwoguanxizuihaodefaxiaoliufeishoudangqichongyikoutanzhijietuguolai。
“zhentaniangdeexin，yigecunderenniyexiadequshou。”
“nizenmebuqusini。”
眼看越演越烈。
worangzhulinachushoujijitamenkanguanyuwodeshipin，jieguozhangkunyibaqiangguoqu，zhijieshuaizaidishang。
“xinga，yuanlaishizaizheidengzheni，yongai**yiduanshipinlaipianren。”
“jintianyaobushiwozaizheili，haizhenrangnihunongguoqu，badajiadoujipianle。”
zhangkunshuaishoujideshihou，coujin，yongzhiyouwohezhulinengtingdaodeshengyinshuo：
“woguanniyoumeiyouzhapian，zhiyaocunlirenjuededoujuedenishizhapianjiuxingle。”
zhangkunmiansexionghen，“nianchudeshihouwozhaonijieqian，niweishenmebuhuiwo。nizhidaoneigeshihouwoyouduonanma？”
“xianzaijiurangniyetiyantiyanzheizhongganjue。”
“congxiaonijiushicunlimianhaizidebangyang，sheijiadoushuorangwomenxiangnixuexi。”
“lichengyunixiangshoule20duoniandechuipeng，xianzaigaihuanhuanrenle。”
yuanlaitazuozheixieshiyinweijidu。
zhangkundashouyihui，shuodao：“gewei，talichengyudainimenzhuanqianshipianrende，danwozhangkunbuhui。”
“woyizhigannianzhezanmentongcundeqingyi，dajiacongxiaoyikuaizhangda，xianzaiwozhuanqianle，ziranyebunengbanimendouluoxia。”
“shuozhetacongchelimiantaochuyigewenjiandai，dakaizhihoushiyitahetong。”
“zheishiwoyuchengyujituanxinqiandingdeyibi500wandehetong，dengdaomingniandeshihouwojianghuizaikuodawogongsideguimo。”
“daoshihounimendoulaihewoyiqichuangye，zanmenyiqizuodazuoqiang。”
zhangkundehuarangcunlidenianqingrenyanjingyixiazijiuliangleqilai。
瞬间恭维声满天。
“kungeniubi，daxiaojiukannixing。”
“duizanmencunzilimiansuoyouderenjiuzhiyounizuiyouchuxide。”
“genzhekungehun，yitianchijiudun。”
liufeikanleyanzhangkun，youzaiwoshenshangdaliangjixia，yanzhuzizhuandongkaishigongwei：
“kunge，qishinizaojiuyinggaifacaile，xianzaifacaizheimewan，doushiyinweilichengyu。”
zhangkunyihuodewenta：“zenmeshuo。”
liufeiyanjiaoqingtiao，peilewoyisheng：“xiaodeshihou，lichengyujingchangdaizhewomendaochushangshanxiahe，zhuoyumoxia。”
“tazijixuexihaomeiguanxi，danzanmenxuexibuhaoa，beitazheimedaizhe，dougenzhetaxuehuaile。”
“daozuihou，zanzheixiecongxiaogenzhetade，liangegaozhongdoumeikaoshang，lichengyuzijiyilukaoshangboshi。”
“tacongxiaojiushiyigehuaizhong，guyibazanmendaihuai，ranhoutazijizaitoutouyonggong。”
wodengyankanzheliufei，buganxiangxinzheishicongxiaohezijiguanxizuihaodepengyounengshuochulaidehua。
xiaodeshihouwoshihaiziwang，lingzheyibangcunlidehaizimendaochuwanshua。
danneidoushimeishangxuedeshihou，houlaishanglexue，wanyeshichenzhefangshujiafanghanjiadeshijian。
zhiyuhoumiantamenmeikaoshanggaozhong，wanquanshiyinweihenduorendouzaichuzhongdeshihoujiuchuoxuebushangle。
yaomequwaididagong，yaomejiushiquzuoxuetu，tamenkaobushangwanquanshizijideyuanyin。
liufeidehuarangzhangkunhenshishouyong。
erjiandaozhangkunlianshangdexiaorongzhihou，qitaneixiecongxiaodewanban。
yedoufenfenjiangzerenguijiuyuwo，shuotamenzhisuoyichuoxuezhisuoyidagongdoushiyinweiwo。
shuozheshuozhe，yebuzhidaotamenshidangzhenle，haishiyanxi，yigegedoushishuangyantonghongdekanwo。
fangfowoshitamentiandadechourenside。
ercunlidelaorenneixiezhangbeimen，tamenzaitinglezheixiehuazhihou，yedouyigunaodeguaiwojiangtamendehaizijidaihuaile。
“lichengyu，nizheigehuaizhong，conggenshangjiushihuaide。”
“woerzicongxiaojiucongming，taruguohaohaoshangxue，hezhiyuxianzaizaiwaimiangongdishangfengchuirishaidezhagangjin。”
“woerzi4suijiunengbeiwanzhengdechengfakoujue，jieguodaohoumianyuexueyuecha，wodaoshishenmeyuanyin？yuanlaishinilichengyu。”
youdehuoqidadezhijiejianqidishangshitouchaoworengguolai。
“lichengyu，nihuilewomenquancundexiwang，zhenshigaisia。”
“打死这个骗子！”
zhuliyanjishoukuaidedangzaiwodeshenqian。
“他们是疯了吗。”
youdejidongdezhijiehuijiachaoqilegannonghuoyongdechuju。
zhulihedesesefadou，“womenmeipianren，laobanzhendeshenjiashijiyi，tajinimenzhunbeileshangbaiwandenianhuoliwuhaiyouhongbao。”
“nachulaia，nachulaikankana。”zhangkunchixiao。
zhulizhejishuodao：“mashangjiudaole，tamenchufadewan。”
“haizaipianren，daduanzheiliangge**detui。”
“打倒骗子。”
liufeizairenqunzhonghanleyisheng，jiezhe，quancunrendoubeidaidong，linzhegezhongnongjubawohezhulibaoweizaizhongjian。
zhulidangzaiwoshenshang，beichutouzazhong，tuleyikouxuepenzaiwolianshang。
woxinzhonghuangluan，nandaojintianfengguanghuixiangbucheng，haiyaozangshenzaizheili。
xiangwochuangyedapinsannian，zaishangchangshangzonghengbaihe。
zuihoujingranzhezaishengwoyangwodedifang。
真的好不甘心。
bishangyanjingzhunbeijieshoumingyundeanpai。
quetingdaoyuanyuandehaoxiangyoushengyinzaihanwo。
睁眼看去。
cunkouneilitinglesanliangdakache，chexiangshangguazhechengyujituandehengfu。
congcheshangchongchuyiqunren，pinlemingdewangzheibianpaolai：“biedongwomenlaoban！！”
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
爱上双胞胎女神：我开始开赛车
作者：安诺汉森
栏目：都市
我只会说实话，老婆求我快闭嘴
作者：方方爱吃番茄
栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
栏目：都市
我给死人化妆的亲身经历
作者：八旬老贼
栏目：都市
江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
栏目：都市
