《zhonghuishaoniandengdingshijiediyi》miaohuilechenyousuxiaoluodeyiduanyishijiemaoxianzhilv。tashenshishenmi，beirenweishimingyundeshouhuzhe。laolaowuleqiaomiaodikehualemeigejiaosedexinggehedongji，xiaoshuozhongchongmanlejinzhang、xuanyiheqihuanyuansu。jingcaideqingjiejiangdailingduzhechuanyueshikong，tansuoneixieyinzangzaiheianbeihoudemimi，jiangjinzhudepengyouquanjietu，yigunaodefajichenyou，“rngyaoqingdeyinggaishini，rangzheibijidezuile。”“……。
lixinzuijindoubiehuaile，qianduanshijian，dangchenyougaozhitabuzaijiedailiandanzideshihoutacaizhidao。
“haodaer，yihoujiubiejiwojiedanzile。”
lixindangshidoumengle，zijizuidadejingjilaiyuanjiushizaiwangshangbangchenyoujiedanzi，jieguochenyoubujiedanzile，zijideshaoduoshaoqiana？
bixudedatingdeqingqingchuchu。
chenyoudao，“gemenerzhunbeiwanyixiazijidezhanghaole，tigaoshenjia，gaokaojieshuhaoxuanjulebua。”
lixinyemingbai，chenyoushibixuyaoqudazhiyede。
“hanfume？idshenme？”
jiexialaidemeitian，lixindouhuiquchaxunchenyouzhanji。
suiranzhanghaoshichenyoudade，danshitameitiandounengkandaochenyoufeisushengji，zhiyouzijizhidaodemimi，xinlihaishianshuangdeba。
benxiangzhezaodianergaosutongxuepengyoushade，danmeirenwen，lixinyizhidouxuezhechenyouyiyang，chenzhuqi，biezhe。
zhongyu，zheiqun**faxianle。
哈哈哈！
好爽！！！
“hanfuwangzhe？**！zhendeshinia！”
同学们彻底震惊。
“chenyou，guazainaermaide？wenme？”
“hanfuwangzhe！wodiguigui！”
“shijiediyi！nirenzhendea？”
“wojideniyiqianguofudezhanghao，buwanle？”
“wonima！guaibudebugenwomenwan，jiugenwobuyuanyigengaoyangwanyiyang，taicaile！”
“gaoyang？qingtongzhazha，shushilaji。”
xueshengjiushizheiyang，shenmeshierchaozhe，liaozhe，doubianchenglekaiwanxiao。
banzhurenlaosulaideshihou，jiaoshilicaizhongyuanjingxialai。
“咳！”
“jintianzhuyaoshuoyijianshier，congjintianquxiaozhengchangshangkehuanjie，meijiekedougaiweidayijiehuo，huiyourenkelaoshilaifudaonimenxuexi，dajiabawozuihoudechongcijihui。”
“ranhouyouxiangzaijialixuexide，huozheganjuefudaobandelaoshibixuexiaolaoshijiaodehaode，yekeyixuanzebuzaixuexiaoxuexi。”
“buxiangzaixuexiaoxuedekeyilaiwobangongshiqingjia，xuyaohejiazhonggoutongquerenyixia。”
“hao，dajiahaohaoxiangxiang，huijiahejialishangliangyixia，shangzixi。”
zhongmukuikuizhixia，chenyoushoushihaoshubao，zhijielinbaozouren。
“**，zheimeshuaideme？”
“tahuijiaganma？buhuishidayouxiba？”
“haotemexiaosaa，**。”
“hanfuwangzheguoranbuyiyang，tagangcaicongwoshenbianzouguoqudeshihou，youfeng！”
“nitemenaocanfenshiba，jiushiyoutiaogoucongnishenbianzouguoqudouyoufeng。”
“你说陈有是狗？”
“woshuowoshinidie！**！”
“QNMD！”
cishidechenyou，yijingchuxianzailelaosudebangongshi。
“laosu，qingjia，huijia！”
bangongshizhiyoulaosuyigeren，chenyouyebukeqi，zhijiezaishafashangzuolexiaqu。
laosunachuyizhangqingjiabiao，“bazheigetianle，genjialishuoguoleme？”
chenyouheiheiyixiao，“zheidianerxiaoshier，haiyongtamendiantoume？”
yangyangsasaqianxialezijidemingzi，“shengxiadelaosunibangwotianyixiaba。”
laosuyikan，haojiahuo，jiuzaiyouxiajiaoqianleming，haitemeshiyishuti。
“xing，huiquba！choukongyefuxiyixia，duokaoyifen，jiunengjibaichengqianshangwanren！”
laosuhechenyouguanxibucuo，laosumeishierhaihuizaitiyukehechenyoutamentiqiu，nenghetongxuedachengyipiandeneizhong。
shenmerenganshenmeshier，laosumenqing。
chenyouzheizhongren，shibuxieyuweilechuquwanjiupianrende。
tashuohuijia，jiuyidinghuijia。
chenyoucongpangbiandejuzilinaleyibaoyan，“youhuome？shengyikuaiqian。”
laosufanlefanchouti，zhaoleyigefangfengdahuoji，rengjichenyou，“chulexuexiaozaichou！”
chenyoujinglegeli，“gaokaojian！”
chenyoudejueqi，ranglaosuganjueyehenyiwai。
hechenyoudanduzaiyiqideshihou，wanquanmeiyoumianduiqitatongxuexiangkanxiaohaieryiyangdeganjue。
nanrendechengshu，zhentemekuai。
zheishilaosuzaimianduizheigexueshengzuizhiguandeganshou。
likailaosubangongshideshihou，luguoyiban，zhenghaobeizuoshouzhuzhexiabasisuowentidesongchenjieyukandao。
zheijiahuo，youyaolikaixuexiaole，heng。
zheiyangyilai，wanshanghuijiadejibaimi，youyaozijizoule。
yaobuyao，woyehuijiaxueni。
keshi，chenyouhaihuixiangyiqianyiyangbanyedadianhuawenzijiwentime？
songchenjieyufaxian，zijijingranyoudianerhuainianchenyoudangchukekudeshihoule。
真是的。
meitaijiu，chenyoujiutongguolezouguowushucidehuijialu。
zheitiaolu，yihouhuiyuelaiyueshao。
“jintianmeishangkeme？”，damenkoudebaoankandaochenyou，xiaozhewendao。
laoxiaoqule，baoanyeshixiaoqudeyezhu，wuliushisuidedaye，duixiaoquderenhenshuxi。
chenyoudianlediantou，“keyibuyongxuexile。”
jiangconglaosuneiernadeyibaozhichouleyigendeyanrengjilebaoan。
“zhei...zhei...”
chenyouyijingzoulejimiyuan，“wozaijiabuchouyan。”
chenyouzaijialiconglaibuchouyan，yigeshimeiyouyanyin，ranhou，jiushibuxiangtingguannvshilaotao。
ananjingjingdayouxibuxiangme？
huanshangtuoxie，xiajibanxiuxiaofurengjinxiyiji，dakaishufangkongdiao，dakaidiannao，congyijiashangchexialaishatanku，huanshang，kaijiasuqi，dengluzhanghao，bakuziyediujinxiyijili。
ranhoujilaosufaletiaodaojiadexiaoxi，baogepingan。
chenyouzuozaidianjingyishang，tianjiahaoyoudeyilanyouyijingmanle。
dabufendoushixxjulebuqingxun，xxxjulebudemingxingxuanshou，haiyouyixieshilurenjuyudaodewanjia。
嗯？
RNG丶UZI？
chenyoutinglixinshuoguo，zijicengjingdeyigejinzhu，jujueleuzi。
haishuoleyiju，“rng？goudoubuqu！”
tamenhaibuzhidao，zheilianggezhanghaodoushizijidashanglaideba。
UZI！！！
chenyouhenqingchu，zheigeid，houqishiyaofengshende。
jiushi18/19nian，zheigeiddachuletaiduodejingcaicaozuo，yeshichangzhangmeiluozhihou，lplzaochulaideliangdaxinshenzhiyi！
theshy&uzi！
rujindechangzhang，jueduishilpldechaojidingliu，wurennengchuqiyou。
clearlovezheigeid，yehuirangtaiduoguanzhongshiwang。
lpl，yaokaishizaoshendongzuo。
zijiqianshiyejingliguozaoshenyundong，“youshen”，jiushiziji。
danyijiumeiyouchangzhang，uzi，theshyzheizhongkeyiyikaohuiyijiafende‘shen’dediwei。
neishihoulianmengmeiyourujinderenqi。
zijijirandouyijingzhongshengle，weishenme，bunengrangchangzhangzhihoudeshen，shizijini？
daleliangbeizideyingxionglailianmeng，ruoshidoubunengnadaoyigeshijieguanjun，neiyetaidiurenleba！
zheiyishi，rongyu，diwei，woquandouyao！
chenyoujieshouleuzidehaoyoushenqing。
陈春凉茶
作者：逍遥老剑客
栏目：都市
zuozhe：zuozhej7femj
栏目：都市
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栏目：都市
作者：孤雁不自智
栏目：都市
夺命露营：我与同事娇妻被困帐篷，妻子却神秘失踪
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栏目：都市
打包剩菜，送给“股东”夫人
zuozhe：zhenwuqishideshetianlei
栏目：都市
