《zhongshengwoduohuibaifumeichenghao》shiyibukuayueshikongyumingyunjiaozhideduanpianyanqingxiaoshuo，jiangshuleguananlinchezaimeiridebixiajinglidezhuanglimaoxian。guananlincheshenfuzhongren，bixuchuanyuebutongdeshidai，xunzhaoshenmidebaowubingzuzhixieeshilidefuhuo。zheibuxiaoshuochongmanlelishi、mituanheganrendegushi，benlaiwoxiangbatadadetamadourenbuchulaidechengdu，quemeixiangdaobuqiao，zhenghaoyoulaoshiluguo，bawolakaile。……jiangyinlingduzhezoujinyigelingrentaozuideshijie。
第一章
biaomeidaoyongwoyinxingkayuedejietufapengyouquan，chengweixuexiaolirenrenzhuipengdedingjibaifumei。
tahenhuizhaolanrenxin，suoyikaoyanshi，tajubaowojichutilaoshixinghui，anxiangcaozuoshanganshi，suoyourendouxinletadehua。
suoweizaoyaoyizhangzui，piyaopaoduantui。
womaqifenwobeiyuanwang，tiwoshenyuanchengqing，taquedaitouwangbaoshuoxinghuideqianjiushiwomajichutilaoshide。
houlaihaigenwomadejingzhengduishoulianhe，jubaowomadezhubaoshejigongsichaoxi。
wonazhezhengjuqujingjudelushang，beitazhaolaidejigegongdigongrenlunfanqinfanwanmaidaolemianbeigayaozi。
erta，kaozhedayimieqindejubaoshiyichengweiwangluoyingxiong，beiwangminmenshengzan，houlaihaiqianyuelegongsichudao，chengweiledamingxing。
zaicizhengyan，wohuidaolekaoyanqianxi。
tingzhebiaomeikuoqidebiaoshi：“denghuierfudaokejieshu，woqingdajiaquxiangnainaimaibao！”
tingdaozheihua，wolikejiwomafaxiaoxirangtabawodekatingyong！
zheibeizi，taxiuxiangzaitongguojiantawohewomadeshigu，xiangshoudianfengrensheng！
“neikeshixiangnainai，suibianyigebaojiudejiwankuaini！”
“wohaimeiquguoshechipindian，zheihuigenzhesuxiannvjianshimianla！”
“suxiannv，nishiwodejie，woweiyidejie！”
erbianchuanlaiyizhencaozasheng，womengdizhengkaiyan，faxianzijizhengzaikaoyanfudaobanshang。
suruonanbeiyizhongtongxuezhongxingpengyuebandeweizaizhongjian，yiliandeyi。
woyanjiaoyipianxuehong，shuangshouzaishencezuanjinchengquan，qiangrenzhuxiangnadaoqubatayidaoyidaotongchengshaizideshihou，taturanzhuanguoshenkanxiangwo。
“biaojie，dengxiawomenyaoquxiangnainaisaohuo，nipinweineimecha，yebudongdexinshang，jiubiegenzhequle。”
“jiushi！qiaonichuandegengetubaoziside！”
“jiunizheiyang，quleyederangrendangyaofandeganchulai！kebielianleiwomenyiqigenzhediulian！”
chaofengdeshengyinxiangshiliciyiyangxiangwozhalai，woquegubushanglihui。
yinweiwofajue，zijijuranzhongshengle！
qianshiyinweiwobazaozaolishi，wohewomaxiangyiweiming，congxiaowojiubeijiaozuomeibadeyehaizi，chuchubeiqifuguli，zhiyoubiaomeisuruonanyuanyihewowan。
woyiweitashigunianqinqing，shiwodehaomeimei。
zhidaolinsishicaizhidao，tayizhijiduwoyougechaojiyoujingshangtounaodemuqin，jiduwomabawochongaichengbuanshishidexiaogongzhu。
tajiejinwo，shixianglaizaiwoshenshangzuoxixuechong。
kanzhetajugaolinxia，manyaneyidekanzhewo，wangpanxinlixiaolexiao。
“haode，biaomei，zhunimenwandekaixin！wojiubuqujinidiurenle”
shuowanwoxiaolizangdaodekanletayiyan，maibulikai。
qianshitajiushidashoubidaizhetongxuemenqugouwu，nushuale200duowan。
xiangdaozheili，woganjintaochushoujidajiwoma，rangtalimatingdiaowodeka。
zhonghuoyici，zheiyuandatousheiaidangsheidang，zheibeizimeilewojiadebangzhu，wokantahaizenmezhuangbaifumei！
wobaqushihou，womaweilegenghaodefuyangwo，huabeifenweidongli，nuligaoshiye，buchusannianjiuchengleyuanjinwenmingdenvqiyejia。
dengwomabaofudexiaoxichuandaoxiangxia，suruonantamajiudaizhetapaolaiwojia，kutianqiangdidekongsuwojiujiushiduxujiuhaijiabao，rangtamenmunvmeifahuo。
tamenguixiaketouqiuwomamabangzhuta
dangshiwomayifangmianshigunianzheqinqing，yifangmianyeshijuedesuruonanhewonianjixiangfang，liuxiata，wohainengduogewanban，buzhiyutaigudanjimo。
weicihaibeijiujiulesuoleyibaiwan，zhihousuruonanjiuzaiwojiazhuxiale。
gangkaishiyoulesuruonanzheigebiaomeipeiban，womeitiandouhenkaixin。
kejianjianwoquefaxian，buguanshibanshangdetongxuehaishiwozhouweilinjudehaizi，doukaishijiaowoyoumashengmeibayangdeyehaizi，tamenguliwo，qifuwo，dadongtiandewangwoshenshangposhui。
wodongdesesefadou，gensuruonanqiuanwei。
taduiwoshuo：“yinweinibitamendabandeganjingpiaoliang，bunengrongrutamen，tamencaibuxihuanni。”
wo**yiyangjuranxinletadeguihua！
shubuzhijiushitaanzhongdaitourangneixiehaiziqifuwode。
congneiyihou，wokaishichuandeyouzangyoupo，keqingkuangyemeiyoubianhao。
youqidaoledaxue，zhouweirenduiwodebalinggengshibianbenjiali，woqiuzhusuruonan，tayouduiwoshuo：“doushuochirenzuiruan，narenshouduan。buruninachudianqianqingdajiachidongxi，gouwushenmede。zheiyangtamenmanmanjiuhuibeinigandongde。”
mole，suruonanyouwenwo：“niqianyinggaigouganzheixieshiba？”
tianzhendewolimabawodeyinxingkayuejietujitakan。
takanjianneiyizhangchuanshuzi，jidudebizidouwaile。
“zheiyang，nibakajiwo，woxianbangniqutantantamendekoufeng。”
zhihousuruonannazhewodeka，fengkuangmaishechipinbaozhuangziji，haidaochuqingkechifanchangk，jileirenyuan，henkuaijiuchengweilexuexiaoliyoumingdedingjibaifumei。
tahaifaleyizhangyinxingkayuedezhaopiandaopengyouquanxuanfu，wokandaohouzhaotawenzenmehuishi，tabunaifandejiekoushuofacuole，mashangshandiao，danqishitashandiaohouyoufaleyici，zhibuguozheicipingbilewo。
buguowoyemeiyouhenduoxinsiguanta，wozhengmangzhekaoyanni。
jingguoriyijiyedenuli，kaoyanchengjifabuhou，woyichaogaofenshushunlishangan。
zaidaxuedesinian，woguodejiqibukaixin，buguanzenmejiaojinnaozhiqutaohaotongxue，tamenduiwodeelie，doumeiyouyisiyihaodegaibian。
xinghao，kaoyanwobaokaodeshiquanguomingxiao，yuanzailingwaiyigechengshi。
wozhongyunenglikaizheili，buyongzaikandaotamendechouezuilian。
wogaoxingdeyiwanshangmeishuizhe，sheizhidaolejishengbei，diertian，wojiedaodianhua，shuoshiwodekaoyanchengjibeizuofeile。
suruonanzaiwangshangfabuleyigeshipin，shipinli，tameiyouchuanzijineixieshechipinyifu，ershichuanzhejiandandebaitxu，suyan，shoulinazheshenfenzheng，shimingjubaowojichutilaoshixinghuitouti。
shipinyifachu，tongxuemenjiukaishifengkuangdechuanbozhuanzaipinglun，shipinzhijieshangleduanshipinremenheweibodeshishiresoudiyiming。
woruzaoleipi，dangchangjiuyunleguoqu。
womafennuyuwobeiyuanwang，daochubangwoshenyuanchengqing，suruonanquedaitouwangbaowoma，shuoshiwomanengzheimekuaichenggong，beihoukendingshaobulequansejiaoyi。
我妈也被气到住院。
zheishisuruonanyoulianheleyizhixianggaokuawomagongsidejingzhengduishou，jubaowomadezhubaogongsishejichaoxi。
wopinmingdeshoujizhengju，jiuzaiwonazhezhengjuquwangjingjudelushang，beisuruonanzhaolaidejigeqigailunfanqinfanwanmaidaolemianbei。
wobuganxinbeikunzaimianbei，wushucichutao，wushucibeizhuahuilai。
meicibeizhuahuilai，wodouhuibeikanguanderenqiling，ranhouzaibeidudayidun。
zuihouyici，kanguanderenxiashoumeikongzhihaolidao，yigunzidazaiwodehounaoshaoshang，wonaojiangzidoubeidachulaile，dangchangsiwang。
wosihou，tamenzhaidiaolewoshenshangsuoyounengyongdeqiguan，ranhoubawodeshitirengjiyegoukenshi。
linsiqian，wotingdaoyidaoehenhendesangyin：“**，zheimesizhenbianyinile！”
zheidaoshengyin，jiushisuruonan！
jiwomadawandianhua，quedingwosuoyoudekadoubunengshuale，wowushengxiaolechulai。
woxinqingdahao，dadianhuajisijirangtalaijiewo。
jiuzaiwowangxiaomenkouzoudeshihou，turanyigerenpaoguolailanzhuwo。
suruonanyilianzhuaibiyang，yizhiqishideduiwoshuo：“nimashangdadianhuajisiji，rangtakaineilianglaosilaisilaixuexiaojiewo。”
“pingshenme？ninaoziranglvtile？rangmenjiale？nisuangeshenmedongxi，yebudianliangdianliangzijijijinjiliang。wojiadechepingshenmerennidiaoqian？”
wohualuo，suruonandengdayanjing，yizhanglianyihuierhongyihuierqing，gendiaosepanside。
taqijilexiangdawo，huranpieleyanwoshenhou，youbashoufanglexiaqu。
erwozaojiuxiangdatale，qiangxianyibushanletayierguang。
“guananniganshenme！”
yidaonuhoushengchuanlai，linchekuaibubenguolaijiangsuruonanlanjinhuaili，muguangxionghenwubidedengzhewo：“nishipofuma！zenmekeyidangjiedongshoudaren！youmeiyoujiaoyang！”
suruonanjinyaozhexiachun，xuanranleiqideshuodao：“ache，nibuyaozheimeshuoanan，shiworeananbugaoxingle。”
linchetinglezheihua，gengjianubukee：“niyigelandujiuguidenver，nongcunlaidetuniu，zhangzheheruonanzhanqindaigujiupazaitashenshangxixue，ruonanxinshancaibuhenijijiao，nihaidengbizishanglianle！mashangjiruonandaoqian！”
我活生生给听笑了。
yuanlaizaisuruonandezuili，wocaishixixuechong？
zheizhongmitiandahuang，tazenmegansa？
guaibudezaixuexiaoli，neixietongxuemenmeicikanwodeyanshendoudaizhexianqiheyane，haoxiangwoshishenmezangdongxi。
youqishilinche，tashiyishuxueyuandeyuancao，xueyishufeiqian，tazixufuerdai，chushoukuochuo。
jidewogangshangdayideshihou，tazuoweixuezhangyingxinsheng，dangshijiushitabangwonadexingli。tabujinzhudongyaolewodedianhua，haizaidiertianwanshangbawoyuedaoxuexiaocaochangbiaobai。
zhishineishiwobuxiangtanlianai，jiujujueleta。
sheizhidaojitianhou，taturanzhaodaowo，zhizhewodebijianzhoumawo，shuowoxurong，baijin，qiongrenmeisuzhi。
wofanbotashuowojialibuqiong，meibiyaobaijin。
taqueshuowojiaobian，haishuorangwobuxuzaichuxianzaitamianqian，shuowozang，jiushilubiandeyegouyebi**jing。
woqijile，taijiaojiuchuaishangletashentizuicuiruodedifang，yixiazijiufeiletadezhandouli。zhihouwoqizaitashenshang，duizhetadelianyoushanyouzhuayounao。
tabeiwodadeaoaozhijiao。
houlaitapaoquxuexiaogaowo，yaoqiuxuexiaokaichuwo。
zhikexixiaolingdaodelaoposhiwomaguimi，dezhishitaxianduiwojinxingrengeruma，wobeibijilecaihaishouzhihou，bujinmeiyoujiwodeguo，haibataxunleyidun，shuotayigedananrenzhizheyigexiaoguniangbizima，meishenshifengdu。
zheizhihou，suruonankaishilibaifumeirenshe，linchezhuantouyouquzhuitale，henkuaitamenjiuzaiyiqi，chenglexuexiaolidejintongyunv。
ermeicitiqitamen，jiuhuiyourentiaochulaishuowooudalincheneijianshi，zhibuguozaitamendezuili，shiqingbianchengwoduilinchegaobaibeiju，aierbudejiuduilinchedongshou。
wojieshizhenxiangbushizheiyang，zhishigenbenmeirenting。
zaizhongrenyanli，woshilaihamaxiangchitianerou，suruonanhelincheshizhenaiwudi。
“kuaigensuxiannvdaoqiana！”
“guangtianhuaridedaren，buguixiadaoqianjiuqugaotaguyishangren！rangjingchashushulaizhuatadunjuliu！”
“kantalianpiduohoua！yiweiyingtingzhebudaoqianjiuxingle？renjiashuoxinsieduderenzhangdeyechou，nikantabujiushichoubaguaiyige！exin！”
jijizhazhadeyilunshengchongchiermo，jiuzaiwoxianghoutamen，rangtamentongtongbizuishi，lengbufangyougerencongwoshenhou，yibahaozhuwodetoufa。
wogentatuisangjian，beitayituizichandaozaidi。
“rangnidaoqian，nierlongle？zhenyiweizhujitiandafangzijiuchengqianjinda**le？xiaoxinsuxiannvjialirenzhidaole，banisonghuixiangxia，rangnihedajiudelaodiewangsilezouni！ranhoubanimaijilaoguanggundangxifuerhuanwuwancailiqian！”
wokanzhepenzhetuomoxingzishuohuaderen，tashichenzhaodi，shisuruonanzuizhongchengdegoutuizizhiyi。
suruonanpingshixihuanbazijibuaibeidebaobao，buaichuandeyifushishejita，tameicidouganendaidedejieshou。
wozhanqishenpaipaishenshangdetu，raoyouxingweidekanleyansuruonan，ranhouduichenzhaodishuodao：“sheigennishuode，woyougeaihejiudeba，jialirenhaiyaobawomaijilaoguanggunhuanwuwankuaiqian？suruonanshuode？”
wogangwenwan，suruonanliansejiubianle。
chenzhaodizhengyaoshuohua，tajiujimangguolaidangzaiwohechenzhaodimianqian。
“biaojie，zheiyangdeshi，haishibuyaozaiwaimianshuole，shuolerangrenxiaohua。”
wokanzheta，liansechaofengdelengxiao。
zheishilinchezaicichongguolai，basuruonandangzaishenhou，nushiwo：“nixiaoshenme！yaobushiruonan，nijiudejilaoguanggunshengxiaoguanggun，yijiaziqiongguikoukousousouguoqiongbirizile！nibuganenruonanjiubale，haidongshoudaren！zhenshiyouqifubiyouqinv，nidieshigelaochusheng，caishenglenizheimeyigexiaochusheng！”
benlaitamen，wodoudasuandengwokaowanyanzaihaohaoshoushi，keshilinche，tachufandaolewodedixian！
woyingnianzaoshidefuqin，burongxutazheizhangchouzuiwuru！
xiaoshihouwoxihuantaiquandao，xuelehaojinian，bieshuolinchele，jiushibitagenggaogengzhuangde，yebushiwoduishou。
wozhendongqishou，linchezhiyoukudiehanniangdefen。
wobalincheanzaidishangzou，zheihuikebubishangci，woshixialehenshoude。
benlaiwoxiangbatadadetamadourenbuchulaidechengdu，quemeixiangdaobuqiao，zhenghaoyoulaoshiluguo，bawolakaile。
laoshitingshuozheihuiyoushilinchexianchukoushangren，jiusuanzheicitabeiwodadehencan，laoshiduiwoyeshijiubutongbuyangdexunchileliangjuwanshi。
suruonanzhidaozailachexiaquyezhanbudaobianyi，bianwanzhelinchedegebo，duiwoshuo：“biaojie，achetazhishitaizaihuwole。buguoniyeshi，yigenvhaizidongshoudaren，yidiandoubushunv，xianggepofukebuhao，yihoubuyaozaizheiyangle。”
shuowan，talazhelinchelikai。
linzouqian，lincheehenhendedengzhewo，xiangshiyaochiren。
zhihuixuzhangshengshidefeiwu，woqingchiyisheng，genbenbubatafangzaiyanli。
benlaiyiweizheishinenggaoyiduanluo，quemeixiangdaodengwolaidaoxiaomenkou，wojiacheshangyijingzuomanleren。
“biaojie，jintianbusongnile，niquzuoditieba。”
wochongtafanlegebaiyan“xiache”！
suruonanweilengleyixia，yufuzhurengongdeyuqi，buzantongkanzhewo“biaomei，nibuxianggendajiagaohaoguanxilema？zaishuozheichewojintianzhenyouyong，niquzuoyiciditiezenmele?"
woyelandefeihua，zhijieyibalakaichemenganren：“doujiwogunxiaqu！”
zheibenlaijiushiwomazhuanmenjiesongwojiwomaideche，qingdesiji，xiang**，zhaozijidiemaqua！
作者：捏糖大作
栏目：言情
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栏目：言情
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zuozhe：wangshibukanhuishoumianmian
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