第3章
wohunshenqixuefantengquewulizhengtuo，zuizhong，xianruyipianheian。
zaixinglai，gujushenzuozaichuangbian。
“xiangxiang，hainanshoume。”
wodagaichuxiancuojue，jingranzaigujushendeyanzhongkandaolexinteng。
“mingyueshuotadanxinni，suoyizhuizhenichuqu，jieguoniyikanjiantajiushou**......mingyuegenbenmeiyoucuo，haijuedebaoqianrangniganjuenanshoule，xiangxiang，wozhidaonixinlinanshou，danhaizimeilenigaifansiziji，zheijianshigenmingyuewuguan，niyoushenmehaofazuode？”
gujushenmanyanburenkedikanzhewo。
guoran，woganggangkanjiandexintengshicuojue。
wojingjingyugujushenduishi，xinlisiliedeshangkouchedibeihanbingfugai。
“ngzhidaole，wobuhuizaifapiqile。”
gujushenlianshangyishuncuoe，sihumeixiangdaowohuirucidanding。
takanzhewoyouxiedanmodeshenqing，yinyingandaoguaiyihebuan。
dantakanzheliangqideshoujipingmu，zuizhonghaishirengxiayiju“haohaoxiuxi，woxianqumang”jiucongconglikai。
gujushenlikaihoubujiu，wodeshoujijiudanchuyitiaotiaomoshengduanxin。
“zigongzhujianmilandeganjueshufuma？jushenshuonidehuiqichongzhuanglewo，daiwolaichixiaodangaofangsongxinqingni。”
“woshuoyaobuyaojinidaidianchidehuiqu，jushenshuonibupeini，woxiangxiangyeshi，nidecancipinzhipeiweigou，niyinggaiyejiupeichigoushiba，yaobuyaowojinimaijidaigouliangahaha......”
peitushiyizhangzhanggujushenlinzhedaxiaobao，shenqingchongniwangzhejingtoudezhaopian。
womianbugaisediguanbiyemian，zhiyouzhijianweiweizhandouzhe。
shoujidanchuliangtianhoudehangbantishi，woqishen，kaishishoushixingli。
wodexinglibuduo，jialidaduoshudoushigujushendewujian。
dangchuwoyiwusuoyoubeigujushendaihuijia，xianzai，woyejiangyishenqingdilikaile。
turan，gujushenlailedianhua，rangwoqushufangzhaoyifenwenjian，haishuodenghuiermishuhuishangmenlaiqu。
我感到有些诧异。
gujushenxinggejinshen，pingchangjihuburangwojintadeshufang，xianzaizenme......
“jushen，nihairangwodenga......”
gujushencongmangyanshi，guaduandianhua，danwoyijingqingchutingdaoleduimianchuanlaideyinyue**。
wokuxiaoyisheng，mamudizouxiangshufang。
fanzhengwodouyaozoule，yebuzaihuzuihouzheimeyihuierba。
wofanzhaozhewenjian，quekanjiangujushencongconglikai、haishangweiguanjixipingdediannao。
diannaozhuomianjingjianzhiji，quandoushizhengqipailiedegongzuowenjian。
zhiyouyigewenjian，biaozheteshufuhao，xiandegewaituwu。
woguishishenchadidiankaineigewenjian——
“2yue24rijintianmingyuekunaoditandaoyigeshouduanwochuodezhongyiyaodian，qiangmingyuejiadeshengyijiusuanle，jinghaimaijiayaohairen。wokanzhetalianshangnandeluchudefenmen，xinxiangwoxihuandenvhaiguoranshanliangdeyitahutu，zijiashengyibeiqianghaiwusuowei，dankanjianduimianhairenjiuzuobuzhule。buxing，wodaoyaokankanshisheizheimechangkuang，wogujushenhuzhederendouganqifu！”
“2yue26riyuanlaishigelaotouheyigediaomanyatou。tingshuoneilaotoupiqida，xihuanmaren，wodemingyuehaiqifukule？qiyoucili！jiranzheiyang，neijiuyongyuanbieshuohuale。”
“3yue8rimingyuejuedeneigenvshengshiwugude，haiquguanqietadeshenghuo，keneinvdejingganqirumingyue，jianzhibuzhisihuo！”
“3yue12riwojiandaoleneigenvsheng，dantakanqilaisihubuxiangmingyuesuomiaoshudeneiyang......mingyuekule，biekuwodexiaoyueliang，haoa，neigenvhaiqueshigaisi。wolianxiletaozhairenbenxiangqujiaoxunjiaoxunta，kewotingdaomingyuefachouzijideshiyanyanjiu，turanxiangdao，yigegenghaode、rangtafuchudaijiadefangfa......”
“4yue1rineitaozhairenshigehaoyanyuan，peihewochenggongyanleyichuhaoxi。congjintianqi，wojiushixusixiangdeyingxiongairen，ertayongyuanyebuhuizhidaozhenxiang。”
“5yue10riwozhishixiangjitazhusheyaowu！zenmehui，gaisi，douguaineiyiwanhetaizui！wozangle，wozenmepeideshangmingyue......woyaojinjisuonengjimingyuebuchang，zhenghao，mingyuedexinxiangmuyanjiuxuyaoyigeyuntizuoceshi。”
“8yue27ritahuaiyunsangeduoyuele，wo......weishenmewokanzhetashushuideceyan，xinliganjueguaiguaide？taliuchanle，tayizhizaiaonaozijizenmezheimebuxiaxin，shagua，neishiyinweishiyanyaowuzuoyonga。takudehaoshangxin，wobaozhetaanweiquegenbenbuganmianduitabeiqiedeyanshen。kemingyueyoulaizhaowole，zheishimingyuediyicixiaodezheimekaixin，haizhudongkaojinwo，mingyuedeyanjiushujuhaibugou......wobunengxinruan。”
......
wojianglizaiyuandi，quanshenxueyefaleng。
yeyexingyiyangshanyibeizi，yongbanshengjixukaileyijiazhongyiyaoguan，queyintongqingputongrenzhibingkunnan、erpingjiazhenliaokaiyaozaotongxingjihen，zuihouhanhenerzhong。
jiushizheiyangbugan，yeyelinsiqianhaigaojiewobuyaoquzhuixunzhenxiang、taodeyueyuanyuehao，yinweitacaicebeihoushiliqiangda，pawoxunchoushoushang。
可我在做什么？
wojingranaishanglewodechouren，haiweitaliuleyitaiyouyitai。
我彻底崩溃。