第一章
妈妈是笨蛋美人。
shengkaodangtian，shenweijiankaoyuandemamagongranzaijuanmianshangjiwozhidaan。
zhujiankaolikebodabaojingdianhua，shijigechuanzhejingfuderenfengyongerzhi，jiangwodaizou。
woxiangzhengmingwoshibeiwuxiande，kehuadaozuibian，woqueyigezidoushuobuchulai。
bishiwocaixiangqijinzaodeniunaibeimamaxialeyashengyao。
jiankaoyuanmamazaiyipangleiruyuxia：“woshibeibide，woruguobubangwonverzuobi，tashuodengwosihouburangwohewolaogongmaizaiyiqi，haiyaosuibianzhaogelaotoujiwopeiyinhun......”
houlaiwobeizhongshenjinzhicanjiakaoshi，renrenduiwobizhibuji。
shangxinyujuezhixiawopaodaokuajiangdaqiaoyiyueerxia。
zaizhengyan，wohuidaomamazhudongbangwozuobibeizhuabaozheitian。
zheici，bunengchushengdeyiranshiwo。
ketaquepinmingshanzijierguang：“hewonvermeiguanxi，shiwoguyijitazhidaande！meiyourenherenweixiewo！”
……
“shiwodecuo，shiwodecuo，jianghantongxuemeiyouzuobi，shiwoyinmanlejianghantongxuejiazhangdeshenfen，guyifendaotasuozaidekaochang。”
“yiqiedoushiwodezhuyi，xiaozhang，wozhidaocuole，danjianghantongxuezhendemeiyouzuobi！”
womachenfanghuaguizaidishangtongkuliuti，chengrenzijidecuowu。
benlaiyijingxianghaoyingduizhicedewocishiyouxiefameng，buzhidaotayouzaiyannamenzixi。
qianshi，tazaishoujuanqianshiwufenzhongdangzhongzaiwodeshijuanshangzhidaan。
jiusuanzhujiankaoyuanquan，tayewudongyuzhong，shenzhishuodaandeshengyinyuelaiyueda。
zhujiankaoyuanheqitakaoshengrenwukeren，fenfenyaoqiubodabaojingdianhua。
xiaozhangbangongshinei，chileyayaodewobaikoumobian。
zhinengyanzhengzhengdekanzhetabasuoyoudezangshuidouwangwoshenshangpo。
houlaiwobeishehuigongkaitongbao，suoyourendouzhidaowozaikaochangyaoqiumuqinweiwozuobi，renrouhewangbaowoderenshubushengshu。
beitongyujuexia，wozaikuajiangdaqiaojieshulezijideshengming。
zhiqiulaishengbuyaoyudaozheiyangdemama。
zaizhengyan，bianshiyanqianzheifanjingxiang。
chenfanghuakudeshengyinjida，danyijiubuwangdaoqian：“xiaozhang，woyishihutu，meixiangdaohuijixuexiaohejianghantongxuedailaizheimedadekunrao，haixiwangninbuyaoqiannuqitatongxue。”
hualuo，jifuhejiejiecongmenkouchongjinlai，buyoufenshuodejilemamayierguang。
“chenfanghua！nibiefansha！jianghanjiushizuobile，renzhengwuzhengjuzai，wozhidaoniweijianghanhao，keniyebunengbasuoyouzuizedouwangzijishenshanglan，zheiyangduiqitakaoshenggongpingma？”
yanqiandeliangrenwozaishuxibuguo。
shuoba，jifujiangzhengjudijixiaozhang。
mohudeshipinzhong，woyizhigenchenfanghuajimeinongyan，chenfanghuakandaohouxiajiangtai，zaiwodejuanmianshangzhizhengquedaan。
视频是伪造的。
woxiangkaikoujieshi，huadaozuibian，quezhinengfachuwuyanwuyandeshengyin。
jifuhejiejieyiliandeyidechongwotiaomei。
zheiciwanlitiaoyideminge，tamenshizaibide。
jianzhuang，chenfanghuaqishendao：“duibuqixiaozhang，shipinshiwoaihechengde，wohejianghantongxuemunvmaodunjiyuanyishen，shiwoguyixianhaita。”
继父和姐姐懵了。
“chenfanghua，nizaishuoshenme？womenshixianshanglianghaodeshuyunidouwanglema？yaowuxianjianghanzuobi！bamingejiwonver，ninaozibeilvtile？！”jifuyadiyinliangweixiedao。
mamajiazhuangtingbudao，mobuzuoshengdeshuaikaitadeshou。
xiaozhanghejingchahaizaiyuandidenghou。
rangrencongjiankongshidiaolaixindeshipinhou，xiaozhangzhongyuhaijiwoyigegongdao。
“shishizhengmingjianghantongxueshibeiyuanwangde，tameiyouzuobi，zheiyiqiedoushijiankaoyuanchenfanghuadezidaoziyan。”
“chenlaoshi，nizuochuzheizhongshi，xuexiaoshiduanduanrongbuxianide，nibeikaichule，sannianyouxiujiaoshichenghaoquanbuzuofei，zhongshenjinzhinijiankaoyuandeshenfen，haoziweizhiba。”