第1章

chenyuanjuedezijitaineixiangle。

napahequanxiaogongrenzuipiaoliangdezhaojianjiatongzhuoleliangnianban,tadoubuganzhijieqinshangqu。

“renzhendekeyizhongshengme?”

dakejian,zhaojianjiakanzhechuangwaidechaoyang,momingqimiaodiwenleyiju。

“啊?”

“jiushizufubeiluna,ruguoshijiankeni,nihuidaoleguoqu,zaizijifuqinchushengqianbazufumushasi,meiyoulezufumu,jiubuhuiyounifuqin,ziranyejiubuhuiyouni;kemeiyounidehua,zufumujiubuhuisileya……”

zhaojianjiachengzhejianqiaodexiaba,chaoxiangchenyuan,“nikan,zheibushimaodunlema?”

gangshangwanyijieshuxueke,chenyuantouhunnaozhang,“nabenxiaoshuozheimebiantai?”

zhaojianjiajingjingdiyaoyaotou,shuchengqianbixindezhangfayesuizhihuangdong。

chenxixia,taroumeideedanliandushangyicenghongyun,yanzhongfangfoliutangzhexuanlandecaihong,mingliyaoren。

hongbaixiangjiandexiaofuchuanzaitashenshang,xiangshiouxiangdagefu。

renmenchangshuo,julichanshengmei。

danzheizaizhaojianjiashenshangsihubingbushengxiao。

haowuyiwen,tadecaihuahemeimaoyiyangguangcaiduomu。

jingaozhongdiyitiandeziwojieshao。

tachuanzheningmenghuangdemaoyihemisemianbuqun,pifubaixidexiangxixueyiyang,shengyinqueweiweidongting,congdulasitandaokaerweinuo,jiquanbantongxuetuijianlenabokefude《luolita》——yibenjiangshuzhongniannanzijiyuweichengnianshaonvdejinjigushi,dangshibanzhurendeliandouheile。

chucijianmiandailaidejingyan,duixiaonanshengshashanglijianzhibaobiao。

jingchangyoubiedebandetongxuekejianmumingerlai。

yebuganbiede,jiuzaizoulangshanghuangyoumoceng。

bugandahua,shenzhidoubuganxiangxiangtashenshangdaodiyouduoxiang。

doushisonghuo,chenyuanandao,wojiuganxiang。

……

xiawudezuihouyitangkeshiyuwenke。

zheishichenyuanzuixihuandeyimenke。

yinweiyuwenkebuxiangshuxuekeneimeshaonao。

erqie……haibijiaoqingsong。

“哒、哒、哒。”

bansuizhezoulangshangqingcuidegaogenxiekouxiangsheng。

yidaogaotiaoshenyingleilifengxingditarujiaoshi。

yansudeshengyinzaijiangtaiqianxiangqi。

“doutingbudaoshangkelingma?shangkelehaichao,zhengdongjiaoxueloujiushuzanmenbanshengyinzuida!”

shengyinbuda,danshidaoweiyanburongtiaoxin。

gangganghaicaishichangyibancaozadejiaoshi,shunjianjingmixialai。

suoyoutongxuejinruohanchan,zhiyouchenyuanmeitoushuzhan……haoshuang。

hanyilucongshifanbiyemeijinianjiudangbanzhurendaitamenban,nengliwuyongzhiyi。

yikaishitadexinggekeyishuowenrourushui,shuohuaxishengxiqi,lianshangzongshiguazhewenhedexiaorong。

raner,buzhiheshibiandefenwailengmole。

hanyilupingshiqingyibudongnu,yishengqimeirenganwangqiangkoushangzhuang。

buguojibianshibanzhelian,qiaolianshenghan,neimanmiaoshenziyujingzhidanzhuangxiadeyouyahexianjing,rengjiushidebinglengdeshengxianruqingquanbandongting。

“陈!垣!”

hanyilushaqisensendipaidejiangtai“peng、peng”dizhenxiang,hentiebuchenggangdishuodao:

“kan***ma?wolianshangyouzima?kanjuanzia!”

没字,但美如画。

chenyuanbugandingzui,ganjindixiatou,congluanzaozaodekezhuolifanchuyuekaodeshijuan。

“噗嗤……”

zhouzaodunshixiangqiyizhendixiaosheng。

buzhidaonimenbanyoumeiyouzheizhongren,zidaigengwangtizhi。

jibianmeishenmexiaodian,zhiyaolaoshitidaota,likehuiyinlaiquanbandehongxiao。

hanyilujiangdaogushiwenmoxieti。

“yanlonghanshuiyuelongsha,yeboqinhuaijinjiujia。”

“shangnvbuzhiwangguohen……”

“baogaolaoshi,chenyuanxihuan***hua!”zuixihuannachenyuankaishuandezhangyuhanhudidahanleyisangzi。

yindedahuodouhongxiaoqilai:jiaoshineiyouchongmanlekuaihuodekongqi。

玛德,这小子!

chenyuangadekouchusanshiyiting。

dajiadoubuxiaole,yigenvshengdeqingcheershuanglangxiaoshengqueyanmianbujue——

“hahahahahahage!”

zaianjingxialaidejiaoshilixiandegewaikongling。

hanyilusaoleyiyanjiaoshihoupaineigenvhai,“guyan,xihuanxiao?”

neigebeijiaozuoguyandenvhaixiaoshengjiaranerzhi。

xiaorongmeiyouxiaoshi,ershizhuanyidaoquanbanrendelianshang。

ng,zheijiushiyuwenkeqingsongdeyuanyin。

“zenmebuxiaole,lailailai,jixuxiao,rangquanbandouxinshangyixiawomenguda**deshengshimeiyan。”hanyilubaozheshuangbei。

于是……

zaiquanbantongxuedepingxizhong。

guyanqingqingyixiao,meihuozhongsheng。guangluozaitadeyanmou,yinyoumantianhongxiadaoying。

“瞧把你能的!”

hanyilulengzhelian,“houbianzhanzhequ。”

“e。”guyanguaiguaidinaqishijuan,zouxiubandiqujiaoshihoumianfazhan。

xiangbiyubenshenjiushiyigelezidechenyuan。

顾烟是另一个极端。

tazainvshengnanshengquntiderenyuandouhenhao,erqie……taderongmaoyeshiyaoniejide,haihenhuidaban,congtoufasidaojiaozhijiandoumeidaolejidian。conglaidoushirenqunzhongdejiaodian。

zaidajiadouxunguidaojudichuanzhexiaofudeshihou,tabaogaikugirl,ranleyitoupannidehongfa,xiangbuqiyandounan。

huoxushiliankaogangjieshu,tajintiantebiehuoyue。

xiaoqilaiyanjingwanchengyueya,fangfoyaohuarurendexindi。

zaiyizhongzheisanniandefengyunbianhuanzhong,youlianggerenhuoxushierbansuoyourendegongtongjiyi,duonianyihouxiangqi,rengjiuhuinanyiwanghuai。yigeshikaixueshifengrujianjiaqiusedongdejingcaijueyan,yigeshibiyeqiankenaiqianjinqingyixiaodexiaohunshigu。

liuchengyizhongzuichumingdeliangdaxiaohua,quanzaierban。

jingyanleshiguangdezhaojianjia,xiaohunleliuniandeguyan。

chenyuantoumiaozheyiliansarandenvhai。

youpieleyanshenbiandewenyishaonv,xinzhongyitan。

ai,douzhongshengleshashenmezufu,baiyueguangbuxiangma?

……

“dinglinglinglingling——!”

xiakelingxiangqi,xiyangdeyuhuizhaojinjiaoshi,huanghunzaixiaoyuantouxiamirendeguangying。

jieshuyitianmanzhangdexuexi。

yaohaodetongxuexixihahadijiebanqushitang;

xuebahaimaizaikezhuoshangshuati;

zhaojianjialonglelongxiufa,daishangsennheiserdeerji,tianjingdikanqile《aomanyupianjian》yingwenyuanban。

chenyuanguiguisuisuidinachuleshoujiwan。

womendouyouguangmingdeweilai。

yizhongjiaowuchuzhuadeteyan,zaolianheshoujishiyanlingjinzhide,xinghaotazuozaihoupaikaochuang,wangdeguxiang,haiyouzhaojianjiadangzhe,hennanbeifaxian。

但他不是玩原神。

也不是玩农药。

而是——

番茄,启动!

ng~~wangwen,zenmebusuanxiaoshuoni?

chenyuandakaishujiadiyibenshu,queshidianjinleshupingqu。

rumubianshiqingyisedecuigeng。

【zhengzhengshitianmeigengxinle,zaimeiyougengxinwojiuyaosile】

【zheishishenmejueshihaowen!jiushiduanxiaowuli,danshimeiguanxi,xiaoxiaodeyehenkeai】

【ge,zaijiwogengyizhangba,qiunile,zaijiwozuihouyiciba!】

【shuilongdadanidaiwozouba,shuilongdada,wuwuwu】

【haokandaoduojiaojiao,taitianle~shenmeshihoucainenghenvzhugongkaia,dengbulela~】

【congzhougengbianchengyuegeng,ganjueyaotaijiandequshia,zuozhenijiazaina,kuaiguonianle,wojinijidiantutechan/huaji/huaji】

“e,baobeibuyaojidong。”

“kuaiqimoleshiqingbijiaoduo。”

“neibushimeibanfama……denghanjia!hanjiawoyitianyigeng!”

chenyuanshuliandihuazhedabing。

没错!

tajiushizheibenshudezuozhe。

shuilongyin,jiushitadebiming。

暑假的时候。

chenyuanzaifanqieshangshizhexiexiexiaoshuo。

taxiedeshiyibentianchongwen,bazijideqingganjituoyuwenzi。

一开始根本没人看。

huoxushixinzhongzangzheyiweiwufachujidebaiyueguangba,chenyuanhaishijixuxiexiaqule……

meixiangdaoluluxuxuyourenshouzang。

duzhedoushuochaotiande,haijitadashangzhichi。

还真能赚到钱。

genjubianjideyijian,gaileshuminghejianjiezhihou,juranxiaohuoleyiba。

yibuxiaoxinzhuandebibamadouduo。

erqieyouyuelaiyueduodeduzhepinglun、cuigeng。

yushihu,kaixuezhihoutagancuijiubashoujidaidaolexuexiao。

duzhemenhaidoushuotayuexieyuehaole。

ng,chenyuanhenganxiezijidetongzhuo。

zaitadexuntaoxia,zijioueryehuizhuaijijusuanliuliudewenbile。

chenyuanzhenghuanlegenkeaideduzhemenhudong。

huran,yitiaoyuedu0fenzhong,yikexingdepinglunyingruyanlian。

“嘶?!”

chenyuannuji,nalaidexiaoheizi?

kandoumeikanjiwodachaping?

daduoshuduzhedoushihenyoulimao,buxihuankantuichujiuhaole,bijingmeigerenxihaobutong,eryigechaping,kenengjiuhuiganzouzheibenshuqianzaideduzhe。

yixingpingjia?dadadihuai!

然而。

chenyuankanwanzheitiaopinglundeneirong,queshimantouwenhao。

yinweizheitiaopinglunyushuhaowuguanlian——

【jintianyaoshiyourenhenibiaobai,jueduibukeyijieshou!】

【qieji,wulunshisheidebiaobaidouqianwanqianwanbuyaojieshou!!!】

【dayingdehua,nihuiside!!!】

【buyaodaying!buyaodaying!buyaodaying!】