第1章 你睡了我三百次?我怎么不知道?

“gege,nishuonishuilewosanbaici,wozenmebuzhidao?”nanchenglingdianjiubakazuoli,yigechuanzhehongseduanqundemeinvjiaoxiaodekanzheduimiandechenfan,yanshenzhongshanguowanweidexiaorong,“shuaige,nizheiliaomeidefangshiyoudiantebiea!”

chenfanzuijiaoyichou,houbeichaohoumiandeshafayikao,zhangtanyikouqidao,“wozhongfushenghuozaijintianyijingyiqiannianle,woshizaiguoqudejintianshuideni,shuiguonizhihou,jintianbianhuizhongzhiguiling,zhongxinhuiguidaozaoshangqidian,nidejiyiyehuiqingchu……suoyi,nidangranbuzhidao!”

chenfanshuodeyouxiexuanhu,meinvdebiaoqinghenxianranbutaixiangxin。

danshijishang,chenfanyidiandoumeisahuang。

congyiqiannianzhiqiande8yue8haokaishi,chenfanbianfaxian,shijiansihuxianrule8yue8haozheiyitiandexunhuanzhong。wulunchenfanzuoshenme,doubuhuiyou8yue9haodaolai,chenfanbeikunzaile8yue8haozheiyitian。

wulunchenfanruhezuosi,tiaolou,tiaohe,zhuangche……douwufabaituozheiyitian……zheiyikun,jiushiyiqiannian!

“puchi!shuaige,nidegushiyidiandoubuhaoxiao!jirannishuonishuiguowo,neinizhidaowoshisheime?”meinvwaizhenaodaikanlechenfanyiyan,meiyujianshanshuozheyimoaichou。

chenfanzuijiaoyiqiao,“tangyuxin,nanchengtangshiguojizhixingzongcai,hafushangxueyuanshuoshi,haochengnanchengdiyimeinv,sanwei86,63,34……duile,nizuoxiongxiamianyousankexiaohongzhi,kanqilaifeichangmeihuoe……”

chenfanhuayuhaimeishuowan,tangyuxinchengdeyishengcongduimianshafashangzhanqilai,jingkongdeshenqingzhongjiazazhefennu,“nidiaochawo?nishishei?”

chenfanduanqijiubeiqingqingminleyikou,duitangyuxinhuihuishoudao,“diaochani?tangxiaojie,wobenlaijiuzhidaonisuoyoudeyiqie,haixuyaodiaochanime?niwusuizaiwaipojianiaochuang,shisansuidiaodaohelichadianyansi,shibasuizaidaxuedeshihou,heyigejiaoyuhedenvhaizizhijian,fashengleyixiehenyouqudeshiqingba……”

tingzhechenfandehua,yuewanghoumian,tangyuxinyuezhenjing,chenfanjuranzhidaodezheimeqingchu?lianzijiwusuiniaochuangdeshiqingdouzhidao?zheigechenfanjiujingshishenmelaitou?

“goule!nidaodixiangganshenme?”tangyuxinxinqingbenlaijiubuhao,shenshoufuzhuzhuozi,jugaolinxiadedingzhechenfan,yanshenzhongjinshiweixiedeshense。

duiyutangyuxinguzuozhangkuangdeyangzi,chenfangenbenbuxieyigu,ershixiemeidekanketangyuxinyiyan,“henjiandan,woxiangzaishuiniyici!”

tangyuxinqidexiongkouyizhanyizhande,lenghengyishengdao,“zuomeng!xiangshuiwo?nipingshenme?”

“pingshenme?pingwozhidao,nijintiandaozheililai,yuanbenjiushilaizhaonanrende!jiranrenheyigenanrendoukeyi,wozhangdegaiyoudianshuai,weishenmebuni?”

tangyuxinyanshenzhongshanguoyimozhenjing,zheigechenfanzhendeshenmedouzhidao?chenfanshuodemeicuo,tangyuxinjintiandaojiubalai,dequejiushilaifangsia!

“wohaizhidao,nizhisuoyiyaofangsi,zaojianziji,wanquanshiyinweinibuxiangjiajiwangyu!keshinidegongsiyudaolecaiwuweiji,mashangjiuyaopochan,jixuyaowuqianwan,erzhiyouwangshijituannengtouzi,daijiajiushinijiajita!nimeiyouxuanze……buguo,nibuganxinbeiwangyuzaota,suoyixiangzaijiehunqiansongtayidingmaozi!”

tangyuxinyanjingzhengdedada,danhenkuaibianhuifuyilianzhenjing,zhongxinzaishafashangzuoxia,shuangshoubaozaixiongqian,“dui,wochengrennishuodedui,woshidasuanzhaonanren,danwopianpianjiubuzhaoni,nandaonihainengqiangpowobucheng?”

chenfanxinzhongdandanyixiao,xiaoniu,wokeshizaitongyitianhuoleqianniana!zhixiaonisuoyoudeyiqie,baokuotangyuxindeqingxu,xinlidebianhua,chenfanzhidaozaishenmeshijishizuijiachushoudeshihou。

chenfanyaoyaotou,“wozhongfuzheiyitianyiqiannian,yejiushisanshijiwantian!duinanchengsuoyoudeyiqiewodouleruzhizhang,wozhishaoshuiguonancheng8fenyanzhiyishangdemeinvyiwange,danwoyouyigeyuanze,woconglaibuyongqiang,suoyinibuyongdanxinzheiyidian!”

“shuiguoyiwangemeinv?haiduisuoyourenleruzhizhang,chuiniuba?neibian,neigechuanduanqundefuwuyuan,yinggaiyou8fenyanzhiba?nishuitame?nizhidaotadelaili?”tangyuxinsuibianzhilezhijiubayigemeinvfuwuyuan。

chenfanweiweiyixiao,“shuiguo!liuyun,23sui,dazhuanbiye,fumuyijingbuzai,yougeqishisuidenainai,cunkuan7wanbaqianlingsankuai!”

tangyuxinmeitouyizhou,shunshouzhizhelingwaiyigechuanzhepijiakedezhongniannanzi,“tale?”

“zhangguang,42sui,zuoshengyishibai,hairanshangledubo,qianrenjia62wan……shimiaozhihou,tahuijiedaoyigedianhua,ranhoukuzhelikai!”

tangyuxinganggangqiangzhuangpingjingdeshensezaicibupingjingqilai,xinlizeshimomodaoshuzheshu!

5,4,3,2……1……

dangtangyuxinzuihouyigeshuzishuwanzhihou,zhangguangjuranzhendejietongleyigedianhua,ranhouhaotaodaku,kuaibulikailejiuba!

“ni……nidaodishirenshigui……”tangyuxinxianzaikanchenfandeyanshenyouxiejidan,zaichenfanmianqian,meiyourenhemimikeyan,tangyuxinganjuezijixiangshimeichuanyifuyiyang。

chenfanmeiyouzhijiehuidatangyuxindehua,ershinachushouji,kuaisuzaishoujishangbianxieleyitiaoduanxin,anxialefasongjian,“tangxiaojie,wojinifaleyitiaoduanxin,nijiangzheitiaoduanxinzhuanfajitianhongdianzijituandezhenglaoban,sanfenzhongzhinei,taqiannideliuqianwan,limajiuhuizhuanzhangjini!”

tangyuxinyilianzhenjing,chenfanzhidaozhengbapiqianzijideqian?

叮咚!

tangyuxindedianhuaxiangqileduanxintishiyin,tangyuxinjiangshoujinachulai,xiangjianguiyiyangkanzhechenfan,“nilianwoshoujihaodouzhidao,ni……”

zheigechenfan,dangzhenshiwusuobuzhime?

buguolianxiangdaochenfangangcaideshouduan,tangyuxinyeyejiushiranle。

duanxinshangshiyigebaiduwangpandelianjie,xiamianhaiyouyigetiquma。

“jiupingzheige?nixiangzhengbapihaiqian?yixiangtiankaiba!”tangyuxinbingmeizenmezhongshizheitiaoduanxin,shuohuadetongshi,bianzhunbeijiangshoujishouqilai。

chenfanlianmangshenshouzhuazhutangyuxindeshouwan,weixiaodao,“tangxiaojie,buruwomendageduruhe?ruoshiwufenzhongzhinei,zhenglaobanhaiqianle,womenjiubielangfeizheimeihaodeyewan?”

shoubeibeichenfanwozhu,jifushangchuanlaidewendu,rangtangyuxinyileng。tianhongdianzijituanqiantangshiguojideqiankuandoukuaiwunianle,tangyuxinyongjinlegezhongfangfa,weibiliyousuoyounengxiangdaodeshouduandouyongle,zhengbapijiushibuhaiqian,nandaopingzheigewangpanlidedongxijiunengrangzhengbapihaiqian?

“hao!wogennidu……ruoshizhengbapihaiqianle,woxinganqingyuangenniqukaifang,suiyizheteng,woyidingquanlipeihe!”tangyuxinlianshangshanguoyimoxiuhong,“danruoshinishule,nigaiyoushenmechengfa?”

chenfanwusuoweidesongsongjianbang,“shu?wobukenengshu!”

tangyuxinshenshenkanleyiyanchenfan,zaishoujilizhaodaozhenglaobandehaoma,jiangchenfandeduanxinzhuanfaleguoqu。

ranhoujiushidengdai……jiubalisuiranyipianxuannao,danzheigekazuolisihuqueshidulichengyigeshijie。tangyuxinyibiankanzheshouji,yibiankanzhechenfan,“shuaige,nitaizixinle!ruoshishule,nijiucongzheilixuegoujiaopachuqu……”

tangyuxinyijuhuahaimeishuowan,shoujibianjicudexiangleqilai,tangyuxinnaqishoujiyikan,zhengshizhenglaobandalaide。

zhenglaobanzaidianhualideshengyinyouxiejicu,“tangxiaojie,daendade,zhengmoushenmedoubushuole……tangxiaojiefangxin,womenqianguigongsideqiankuan,womashangrangcaiwuzhuanzhangguoqu……woyoushixianmang,guojirizhengmouzaizhuanmensheyanganxie……”

zheiyangjiuhaiqianle?zhenglaobanzaineibianyijingguaduanledianhua,tangyuxinnazheshoujihaizaifaleng!zheigezhengbapi,guyishuazijiba?

对,肯定是耍自己!

tangyuxinhaimeihuiguoshenlai,gongsimishusongqiandedianhuayoudalejinlai,“tangzong,taiyangdaxibianchulailea……tiandadexishi……”