“jiyan，xiaobojintianyaoshiyoushenmeshi，jiusuannishiwodidi，woyegennimeiwan！”
“nihaitangzaidishangzhuangsizuoshenme！ganjingunguolaijixiaobodaoqian！”
…………
耳边传来谩骂声。
hunshenshangxiachuanlaiyizhenjutong，jiyanziyaliezuidezhengkaishuangyan。
faxianzijitangzaibingliangdedibanshang，mianqianhaizhanzheliangdaorenying。
“这是哪儿啊？”
jiyanzhouzhemeitouqiangchengzhezhanqishenlai，naozihaiyizhenmihu。
啪！
ranerxiayimiao，yigebazhangcubujifangzhixiadazaitalianshang，rangtachediqingxingguolai。
“nimeitingjianwoshuohuama？worangni！like！mashang！jixiaobodaoqian！”
**！
jiyanbeidamengle，wuzhezhangtongdelianjia，kanzhemianqianzheigeqihuhu，zhangxiangqingmeidenvren。
suirannizhangdehenpiaoliang，danyebunengsuibiandarenba？xianzaikeshifazhishehui。
jiuzaizheishi，jiyanzhiganjuenaoziyizhencitong，yidagujiyiyongrunaohai。
他穿越了！
chuanyuedaoyigenvpinxiaoshuoshijie。
zaizheigeshijie，tashiliuluozaiwaiduoniandehaomenshaoye，guozhedianpeiliulideshenghuo，sinianqianbeijiarenzhaohui。
bieyiweicongcizhihoujiuguoshangleyouqianrenderizi。
shenweinvpinnanzhu，tahuibeijialilingyangdejiashaoyewushucizaizang，xianhai。
baosongmingebeiqiang，beiwumietoujiejiedetieshenyiwuzuohuaishi，xianhaitakaoshizuobidengdeng。
beijialidefumuhejigejiejieyane，tuoqi。
buguanzenmejieshi，tamendoubuxiangxinzhujiao，duizhujiaofeidajima。
haiguananwutianridexiaoheiwu。
bujinruci，tadeweihunqihetajiehunhou，haizaiwaichuguibaiyueguang。
huanzuorenherenyudaozheizhongshi，pashizaodouheihuale。
dan，zheishinvpinshijiea。
buguanzhujiaoruhebeiwumie，wuhui，shenzhibeidailvmao，beida，daozuihouzhujiaodouzhishishuangyantonghong，wuwuyizhenhou，badasuideyawangduziliyan。
tayizhirenweishitadeyuanyin，buguaifumuhejiejie，xiangyaoyong“ai”rongrujiating。
houmian，zhujiaoshinianruyiridetianqilesuoyouren，zhuxiaoheiwu，zuopucong，yuanliangchuguihoubeibaiyueguangpaoqideqizi，jiepantayijinghuaishangdeyezhong，haibashenhuanjizhuangniaoduzhengdejiashaoye，
zhongyu，jiejushi，suoyourendoubeizhujiaodejingshensuogandong。
jiashaoyerangtadehaizirenzhujiaozuogandie。
fumurangzhujiaokeyishangzhuochifan。
jiejiemenjizhujiaohuanshangledachuangfang。
chuguideqizirangbaiyueguangdeyezhongjiaozhujiaobaba。
zhujiaoganjitiling，zhongyuguoshangle”xingfu“deshenghuo。
别急。
还有番外。
zhujiaozhongyuguoshangle“santian”dexingfushenghuo，ranhoujiuyinshaoyigeshenzhangqilaozuodeyuanyin，gale。
jiarentongkuliuti，zhongyumingbaileduizhujiaodeganqing，keshiyijingwanle。
qiziyeyishidaolezijidecuo，youbunengranghaizimeiyoubaba，daizheyezhongquzhaobaiyueguangfuhele。
zhujiaodelinghunpiaozaibankong，kandaojiarenrenkeleta，qiziguoshanglexingfudeshenghuo，luchuxiaorong，anxindexiaosanle。
至此，大圆满。
“kao！kao！kao！shenmewanyi！”
jiyanzaiyerenbuzhule，henhendichoulezijijigedaerguazi。
biewuhui，tabushichouziji，ershichouyuanzhu。
这是什么脑残玩意？
zheishirennengxiechulaidejuqingma？
youzheizhongchaojiwudiwonang，lvmaoguizhujiaoma？
taiexinle，jiyancikeshizhenxiangyitouzhuangsisuanle。zheizhongzhujiaohaihuozhezuoshenme，qisiduzhema？
buguoxianzaichuanyuele，zhuangsineizijiyesile。
jiyanhenkuailengjingxialai，xinxiangjilaizhizeanzhi：
“jiurangwolaigaibianzheigoubajuqingba！”
naozifeisuyunzhuan，huiyiqiganggangfashengdeshi。
yuanlaishibailianhuajiashaoyemeijibo，ganggangbayuanzhucongloutishangtuixiaqu，yinqidongjinghoukuaisupaoxialouti。
ranhoutangzaidishang，batuiqiahongwuwudekuleqilai。
jialirentingdaodongjinghou，huangmangganlaibameijibofudaoshafashang，jiaoyishengdejiaoyisheng，cayaodecayao。
全家乱做一团。
jiushimeiyouyigerenguantangzaidishangyijinggepidezhujiao。
houmianjiushiquerenmeijibomeishihou，lianggejiejiexunwenweishenmecongloutishangshuaixialai。
meijibocazheyanleibushuohua，zhishiyanshenyouyiwuyidekanxiangyuanzhu。
suoyourenjiumorenshiyuanzhubameijibotuixialou。
lianggejiejienubukeedeshangqiantileyuanzhujijiao，jiyanjiushizheigeshihouchuanyueguolaide。
“kao！shenmedongxia！”
jiyanyilianwuyu，zheijiushinvpinma，kongburusia。
“nizaizuoshenme！worangniguoqu，jixiaoboketoudaoqian！”
“meicuo！bieyiweichouzijierguangwomenjiuhuiyuanliangni。”
zhanzaijiyanmianqiandelianggenvrenyicikaikou。
jiyanmeitouyizhou，lianggenvrendexinxichuxianzainaohai。
jifeixue，sanshisui，jialipaixinglaoda，xianjishijituanzongcai，xinggebingleng，shuoyibuer，shijiangshigongrendeshangjiebingxuenvwang。zaijieshoujishiyilai，zuochulehendadechengji，shigeyounenglidenvren。
jixiaoran，ershiersui，paixinglaosi，gangdaxuebiye，xinggediaomanrenxing，huopopoyigexiaomonv。
chucizhiwai，haiyoulingwailianggejiejie。
fenbieshilaoerjilingyun，ershiqisui，xianyulequandanghongnvxing，fensipoyi，yingxianglijida。
laosanjiqinglan，ershiliusui，jiangshijinpailvshi，tingshuojingtashoudeguansihaimeiyoushuguo，zhaotabanshiderendoupaidaoshinianhoule。
keyishuochulelaosiyiwai，lingwaisanrenzaishehuishangdouyouzhejuzuqingzhongdediwei。
buguo，tamendoushigangchushengbeiyiqi，ranhoujianlaide，heyuanzhubingmeiyouxueyuanguanxi。
shenzhilaoerlaosanlaosi，zaiyuanzhuchushengshihaibaoguota。
真是狗血。
“你聋了吗！”
jifeixuekanzhezhengzaifadaidejiyan，qideyaoyaqiechi，yanzhongmanshiyane。
taiqiyushoujiuyaoshanguoqu。
jiyanhuiguoshenlai，zhuazhutadeshou，lianseyinchenxialai。
haizhendangwoshiyuanzhuneigewonangfei？
“你想做什么？”
“你……你放手！”
beijiyanneiyaosharendeyanshenheleyitiao，jifeixueyonglizhengtuoshou，gaogenxiecaizaidimiandengdengdengdelianmanghoutuijibu。
tarouzhebeinietongdeshouwan，nanyizhixindekanzhejiyan。
youdianbumingbaizheigeyizhiyilaidourendarenyuandejiahuozenmeganfankangziji。
“nizuoshenme！jiyannixiangfantianshiba？nizenmegandadajiede！”
jixiaorankandaozheiyimu，limatiaolechulai。tashuangyanpenhuodejuqibazhangjiuwangjiyanlianshangshanqu！
“没完了是吧？”
jiyanyenule，zheimexihuanshanlianshiba？
tataishouyizhua，jiuezhuleduifangdeshouzhang。
tongshilingwaiyizhishoumengdigaogaojuqi，zaijixiaoranjingkongdeyanshenxia，yongjinquanlijiuyaowangtalianshanghuqu。
turan，yidaoshengyinzaierbianxiangqi：
【叮！宿主住手！】
【xitongyibangdingchenggong，qingsuzhuwanchengzhuxianrenwu。】
【1,aijixiaoranyibazhang，bingduitaxiaguidaoqian！】
【2，keyiduokaitadebazhang，danyaobinganzhaotamendeyaoqiuduimeijiboxiaguidaoqian！】
【3，duitamensuoyourenxiaguidaoqian！bingqudequanjiayuanliang。】
【wanchengrenwukehuodequanjiarensandianhaogan，shibaikouchushidianhaogan。】
【haogandu，jifeixue：-50。】
【jixiaoran：-70。】
【zhu：haogandiepo100suzhujiangbeiesha！】
【xiangqinxiangaiyijiarenxitongweininfuwu，zhuninyukuai。】
“啥!”
jiyanshayanle，zheishizijidexitong？
ganggangjuexingxitongtahaixingfenwubi，xinxiangyoulexitongdebangzhu，neihaibudeqifei？
zaizheigenvpinshijiedashatesha，jiaocaisuoyouren，zoushangrenshengdianfeng。danneirenwudoushenmea，zenmedoushixiaguiqiuyuanliang？
shenmeguimaoxitong？haixiangrangzijizoujuqing？
yejiushizheiyilengshen，jixiaoranyijingzhengtuolejiyandeshou。
meidengjiyanfanyingguolaishi，yigebazhangyouhuzailelianshang。
啪！
chuanyueyilai，yijingaileliangbazhang。
xianzaidelian，keyishuoshiliangbianduichengle。
“nigechusheng！nandaohaixiangdawoa？”
“zhenshiwufawutianle，kanwohaohaojiaoxunni！”
季小冉怒瞪着季言。
gangganghaiheleyitiao，yiweizheijiahuofafengle，haipadedoubishangleyanjing，neixinyoudianhouhuichongdongle。
kebazhangchichimeiluoxialai，zhengkaiyanjingfaxianyuanlaizhishizhuangqiangzuoshi。
dangxiameiyouyujiuzaicishanleguoqu。
kanzhebeishanhou，wuzhelianjiamunekanzhezijidejiyan，jixiaoranqinghengyisheng，lengxiaodao：
“zhidaocuoleba，xianzaiqujixiaobodaoqianba。”
jixiaoranpaipaishou，luchuyigedeyidebiaoqing。
haiyiweigaixingle，kanlaihaishineigeruandanma。
然而下一秒。
jixiaorangangtaitou，jiukandaoyigeshabaodadequantouzaiyanqianwuxianfangda。
tongshijiyanfennudeshengyinxiangqi：
“我道你马！”
jiyanyiquantouhuileguoqu！
【suzhuzhushou！qinganzhaozhishiwancheng……】
“我完你马！”
jiyanzaiyerenbuzhule，xiangrangtazuoguinanzhu，neihaishiqusisuanle。
taxianzaifennudexianglianzheigegoubaxitongyikuaizou！
“火星大力拳！”
砰!
yiquantoujiejieshishidezazaijixiaorandeyanjingshang。
zaichangsuoyourendoudengdaleyanjing。