第一章妈宝
jiehundiyinian。poposhuo：nvrenyaoqinjianchijia，nidepeijiayaoshangjiaojipojia。
忍了！
jiehundiernian，poposhuo：nvrenyaochuanzongjiedai，buhuishenghaizidenvrensuanshenmenvren。
忍了！
jiehundisannian，poposhuo：xiaosandehaizizhishaoshiwomenyangjiadezhong，zongyaorenzuguizong。
忍无可忍！
laoniangbushilaikaimachangde，fangnimenyimayouyima！
lihunhou，wojingshenchuhu，pojiarenhenbudeqiaoluodagubaxiaosanyingjinmen。
qiazhisuansuandaoleyuchanqi，wolinzheqianfudebuyunbaogaodanlaidaoyiyuankanzheqianpopo：ayi，nizhennengquedingzheijiushinijiadezhong？
1.
jiehunneitian，hunlimashangyaokaishile，caifaxianzuanjiemeimai。
laogongyangxiangnazhewodexinyongkacongcongmangmangpaoqushangchangxuanleyimei。
guimizhouchengtanlekouqi：“tianxiazhida，dabuguoniquedeneikuaixinyan，sheijiajiehunbuzhidaojizijilaopomaizuanjie，wanglejiubushuole，hainanideka？tayangjiahaiyaobuyaolian？neikeshishushuayijinidejiazhuangqian！”
wotanlekouqi：“haolehaole，wozhidaoniduiwohao，pawochikui。wodoudong，bieshengqi，nishizuihaokandebanniang，wobenlaiyebutuyangjiashenme，zhiyaoyangxiangduiwohaojiuxingle。”
wojiajilechulian，kaixindehuantianxidi，nahuixiangneimeduo？
后来我才知道。
jiehuntanlianaibutuduifangdeqian，zhituyigeren，neiyeshiyaolemingdechun！
2.
wodepopojiyueedayanbucan：“nijiajiwomenyangjia，neijiushiwomenyangjiaderen！nidejiazhuangdangranyeshiwomenyangjiadela！”
wozheigepopo，gezishoushouxiaoxiao，yigeshaobingjiazhuta，liantoujiaodoulubuchulai。
biekanzheimexiaodegezi，xinyanduodenengtianhai。
zhouchenggankai：“xiaosa！nikezhencan...”
jiyueefanlegebaiyan，yinyangguaiqidao：“can？woerziyibiaorencai，youshigongsigugan，qiangshoudehen。nijiadaowomenjia，yihoujiudengzhexiangfuba！”
3.
hunyanhenhansuan，liangjianaodehenbuyukuai。
wojiazaizhongjian，jiaotoulanedecuohe，fandaoshiluoxiaxuduomaiyuan。
wolaogonglinxiang，shiyigeyangaoyudingderen。
jiehunbujiu，tajiubuyuanyizaigongsidagong，nazhewodejiazhuangqianchuangye。
jieguo，jingyingbushan，wodejiazhuangbeitapeideyifenbusheng，jialihaiqianleyinxinghenduoqian。
yangxiangtoulejianlizhongxinkaishigongzuo。
danshitazhiqianchuangyeyiranzuoguanlelaoban，ganggongzuoliangtian，fangbuxiamianzi，henkuaijiucizhile。
饭桌上。
popozhizewo：“yidingshinikewoerzi，zicongnimenjiehunzhihou，jiuyizhidaomei。”
zheizhenshilabuchushiguaidiqiumeiyinlile。
wopingbaitangqiang，kanleyiyanmenbuzuoshengdeyangxiang，zhuanshenhuiwu。
wobuxiangzhengchao，kezheifanyeshichibuxiale。
guoleyihuier，yangxiangjinwu，zuozaiwopangbian：“xiaosa，wohemashangliangle，zanmenxiaoqumenkoudechaoshizaizhuanrang，yaobuwomenjieshoule，zuogexiaoshengyi。ananwenwendeguorizi。”
worenzheqiquanta：“neigechaoshijingyingbutaihao，yaobuyebuhuizhuanrangle。hekuangzhendezhuanqianshengyi，sheihuizhuanrangni？”
yangxianglailepiqi：“nishibushibuzhichiwo，wojiuxianghenihaohaoguogerizi，zuogexiaoshengyi，wozheibushihenishangliang，wozheishitongzhini！”
woyenule：“nihemashangliang，hewojiushitongzhi。xingba，neinixiangganjiuganba。”
wozhenshixialegouyan，zenmejiajizheimegemabaonan！
4.
wozenmeyemeixiangdao，popohaiyoulianlaizhaowo。
talaidaowofangjian，shuangshouchazheyao，yiliandezhigaoqiang：“xiaosa，zheiliangnianxiaoxiangchuangyezhihou，shouliqianyebuduo，nikannengbunenghenibashangliangyixia，butieyidian。buyongtaiduo，shijiershiwanjiuxing。”
wobieleyiduzihuo：“ma，nimentongzhiwojiusuanle，haiyaotongzhiwojiachuqian？”
popoyilianbumanyi：“sheijiaguorizimeigenanchu，yihouzhuanleqianhailejiushile。”
womobuzuosheng，yongchenmolaiduikang。
meixiangdao，popozhijiejiwobadadianhua，yongwodemingyijieqian。
woshiwomenjiadedushengnv，bamaduiwochongzheguanzhe。
wobaxinlidoumingbai，ketaxintengguinv，zuihouhaishinachuleduonianjizandexuehanqian，rangyangxiangqingsongjielechaoshi。
danshitabayiqiexiangdetaijiandanle，zuoshengyizuinandejiushiqinxing。
chaoshilinglingsuisuidedongxi，xiaodaocongzaoshangjinxinxianshucaidadaoshipinanquanwenti，mangdeyigetoulianggeda。jiashangchaoshideshuidianfangzuyiduikaixiao，henkuaijiurubufuchu。
yangxianglansanguanle，henkuaichibuxiao，zhijieliaotiaozi。
suoyoudezhongdan，buchuyiwaide，zaiyiciyadaowodeshenshang。
wozaichaoshimangleyitian，rendouyaosanjiale，gangzuoxiaxiehui，lianshuidoumeihe。
yangxiangyibianzaidiannaoqiandayouxi，yibianduipoposhuo：“ma，neixiechuangdannixianbiexile，shuineimeliang，yihuirangxiaosaxi。”