第一章 开局就是一个合格的接生婆。

“xindewenpozenmehaibudao?”

“zhixianfurenyeshijinrishengchan,quanzhendewenpodoubeiqingdaoxianyaqujieshengle!”

“zaiquqing,shaonainaiduzilidexiaoshaoyeyaoshichuleshi,womendoudepeizang,jiusuanshiqubangyeyaojiwoqubangyigelai!”

wenpo?zhixian?zheishenmedifang?

chenwenmorenzhehunshenjutongweiweizhengyan,huangulexiasizhou,henkuai,taquedingleyigeshishi,tadananbusi,haichuanyuedaoleshenghaizidoubuquyiyuandegudai。

zaogao,tagaibuhuichuanchengbeidimurengdaoluanzanggangdeshunvba?

buyao,tashigezhuanqianxiaonengshou,kebushigewanzhaidoudezhu。

shishizhengming,taxiangduole,yinweichuletakaidecheheshoujizhuangchengcanhai,tadexinglibaohechuanzhedeyifudoumeiyoubian,raner,gangsongleyikouqi,gebojiubeirenyibazhuazhu。

“zhaoguanjia,shaonainaiyoujiule!”

chenwenmohaimeifanyingguolai,jiubeilianggerenxiaosidabandenanrenjiazhewangqianfangyidahurenjiatuole,“wozhaodaoxindewenpole!”

“不不不不——”

tingdaozheihua,chenwenmojingdeyishenglenghan,“wozhishigemaihuode,kebushishenmewenpo,nimennongcuole,shenghaiziquqingdafu——”

“闭嘴!”

raner,chenwenmojingkongdehuahaimeishuowanjiubeijiazhetadexiaosijiheduanle,“womenshuonishiwenponijiushi!”

“jiushi,lianjieshengbaodousuishenbeizhe,nibushiwenposhishenme?”

lingwaiyigexiaosizhizhechenwenmojianshangdeshuangjianbaoyingshengfuhezhe,“guanjia,nibushishuobangyeyaobanglaile,womenxianzaibanglaile!”

陈文墨:“……”

nimentamadebanggehuanghuadaguinvlaijiesheng,quedingbushiyaonimenshaoyejuehoume,raner——

“barenyadaoshaonainaifangjianqu!”

rangchenwenmodadieyanjingdeshi,zheigezhaoguanjiajingranyegenxiaosiyiyang,suibianlagerenjiudangwenpole,bianzoubiankaikouweixie,“wojinggaoni,yihuierjishaonainaihaohaojiesheng,ruguochuleshi,niyebiexianghuozhelikaile!”

shuozhe,zhaoguanjiamuguangyinlenghaisaolechenwenmoyiyan,chuanzheqiqiguaiguai,beizhegedabao,langbeibukan,yikanjiushitaohuanglaide,tayijingxianghaole,ruguoshaonainaizhenchushi,jiubazerentuidaotatoushang,zheiyangjiukeyiyangaizijideshizhi,“woshuodehuatingdaomeiyou?”

“guanjia,xindewenpodaoleme,shaonainaikuaibuxingle”chenwenmogangxiangjujue,turanxiangfangconglimiantuikai,yigeyahuanmanlianlangbeitanchutoulai,kanzhechenwenmojiaojidekaikoudao,“nijiushixinlaidewenposhiba,ganjinjinlai,shaonainainanchanjiukaonile!”

“bushi,wobushi……”

zhishichenwenmomeiyoujihuijujue,renjiuyijingbeituojinlexiangfang,pumianerlaidexuexingwei,rangtahunshenyizhan,kanzheyipenyipendexueshuiwangwaidao,chenwenmokaishiyishidaorenmingguantian。

“hailengzheganshenme,shanga!”

limianshoumangjiaoluanderenkandaoturanchuxiandechenwenmojiuxiangshikandaolejiuxingyiban,“shaonainainanchan,zheikeshiwomenshaoyededizi,chulechachi,womenzheixierendoudehuomaipeizangde,womendemingquandouzaiwenponishenshangle!”

陈文墨:“……”

wocao,tayuanbenjiufaruandetui,cikegengruanle,danshi,tazhidaotayoukoushuobuqing,doudaozheigefenshangle,tataoyetaobule,tayiqianshigemaihuode,kemeijieguosheng,xianzaishuobaile,jiushigesancanbubaodewuyeyoumina。

douyijingbeibidaozheigefenshangle,zheiyaoshibudangwenpo,siluyitiao,zheiruoshidanglewenpo,haiyouhuomingdejihui,hengshudouhuibuqu,haiburuduyiba,shuoba,chenwenmoluqixiuzi,zoushangqu,pingtuizuoyou,“doujiworangkai,baochikongqixinxian,xianshunchan,ruguoshengbuxialai,womenhaikeyipoufusheng,zongyoubanfade,buyaodanxin!”

“shen……shenmeshipoufusheng?”

yitingzheihua,nvrendepeijiayahuanjiulanzaichenwenmodegenqian,jingtidekanzheta,“poufushibaduzipoukai,nishixiangyaoxiaoshaoyebuguwojiaxiaojiedesihuoma?”