第1章
“wuwu,niang,nibiesi,nibiediuxiahuihui!niang,nibiesi!”
wuwawadekushengchaodewenwantouteng,renbuzhutaishouhuluanpaileyixia,chushenghechi:“sheijiadexiaohaizi,chaosile!”
这是谁的声音?
wenwanlengzhule,mengranzhengkaiyan,yingruyanliandeshifengchuicaodidewuding,xisongdegancaotouzheweiruodeguangliangzhaojinzheijiancaopeng,genguoqucaiyuanlikancaidecainongdajiandelinshizhusuochabuduo。
tabushijiuhuoshaosilema?
这是哪里?
shenxiatangdeshiyiduigancao,chaoshixingchou。
zaikanmianqian,yigesiwusuidehaizidengzheyishuangjingedeyanjingwangzheziji,zangxixi、zhongzhangdelianshangguazheleihenhebiti。
shenshangdedebudingyifuhaishidarendejiuyifucaijiande,pengpengsongsongdeguazaishouxiaodeshenshang,kuzigenghanchen,yigekutuizhang,yigekutuiduan,jiaoshangdebuxielouzhejiaozhitou,manshinitu。
zheishi,sheijiameirenyaodehaizi?
ditoukankanziji,laolansedecubuguazi,geboshangdazhebuding,heisedekuzimeiyouyaodai,yongshengzibangzhe,nanguaiyaojianledehuang。
这是么回事?
“niang!”xiaojiahuopujinwenwanhuailiyibabitiyibaleidekuqilai。
娘?
她的娃?
yaoshoula,tacaishibasuinalaizheimedageer?
naodaiwengwengwengde,wenwanenzhunaodai。
“别哭别哭。”
xiaojiahuojimangcongwenwanhuailichulai,calecayanleibiti,naishengnaiqidishuo:“niang,huihuizaiyebutaoqile,huihuibuqutounainaidecaituanzile。”
小灰灰?!
这搞笑的名字!
菜团子又是什么鬼?
“你先等一下啊。”
wenwanrouzhekuaibaozhadenaodai,bishangyan,tadelvyixiayanqiandeqingkuang。
wenwanshibasui,ganggangkaoshangdaxue,jiatingbufuyudetachenzhejiaqigenhaoyouchuqudagong,gongchangfashenghuozai,weijiuhaoyou,taxishengleziji。
queyiwaichuandaolequeyishaoshideqishiniandaimodeniandong,haishiyigesisuiwawadeniang。
yuanzhuwenwanshigechenglilaidezhiqing,duanzhuangxianhui,chaduizaiyueyangcun,kanshangleyueyangcunlidexiaohuozidingzhengkai,bugujialirenfanduiyingyaojiajilezheigenanren。
hunhoubujiu,dingzhengkairuwulikaicun,congciyinxinquanwu。
dingzhengkaizouhou,yuanzhuzaidingjiasihougongpo,renlaorenyuan,yinianhoushengxiaerzi。
liangnianhou,dingjialaoerqulexifu。
ererxifunengshuohuidao,henhuitaolaotaitaihuanxin,zicigongpojiuduiyuanzhumeilehaolianse,jialideleihuozhonghuodourangtazuo,baitianhaiyaoshanggongzhuangongfen,benjiujiaoguideyuanzhuhuaizheduizhangfudesinian,jiashangmeirimeiyedelaozuo,leidaozaitianli,congciluoxiabinggensangshilelaodongli。
weicigongpoyijiarengengshixianqi,jiujiangmuzilianggerenganchujia,wojuzaicunzixibiandeyigepomaocaowuli。
yankanqinghuangbujiedejijie,dahanjianchan,yuanzhuyejiuqushanliwayecaihuilaichongji,keyueyangcunyibaiduohu,yecaiyejingbuqitiantianwa。
edeshizaishoubuledexiaohuihuipaoqunainaijialitougecaituanzi,beidinglaotaitaizhuazhubaoda。
yuanzhuwenxunganlai,huzixinqiedetahelaotaitaidingzui,beilaotaitaiyiganmianzhangqiaozainaomen,hunguixitian。
wenwanjiushizheishihouchuanleguolai。
qingkuangshizheimegeqingkuang,zhuangkuangshizheimegezhuangkuang,wenwanyouzhongxiangzhuangqiangyoubuhaozhuangqiangdecuobaigan。
suanle,jilaizhizeanzhiba!
wenwansaoshiyiyansizhouqiliangdehuanjing,zaikankanyanqiankeliandehaizi。
xinyiheng,yayiyao,tajiubuxinzuoweiershiyishijidemeishaonvzhanshi,hainengzaizheilibeihedao?
“xiaohui,biepa,youmamazai,yihoubuhuirangniaieshoudongde。”
xiaohuiliangjingjingdeyanjingliluchuxiwang,butingdiantou。
“nigegaisibusidetouchizei,haodebuxue,nixuerenjiatoujimogou。”
waimianxiangqiyizhengunzidamupendeshengyin。
xiaohuiliansetubian,hededuozaiwenwanshenhou,sesefadou。
“niang......shi......nainai......”
wenwancumei,zheilaoyaopodaleyuanzhuerzi,haibayuanzhunaodaidagedakulong,haibuxiaoting,juranganshangmenruma!
奶奶的!
laohubufawei,nidangyuanzhushibingmao?!
wenwanfuzheyunhuhudenaodaizhanqilai,xiaohuishenchuxiaoshouchezhutayijiao,huangkongdiyangzhexiaolian。
zheihaiziyinggaihenhaipaneigelaoyaopo。
“biepa,youmamabaohuni!”
neigeniangzi,tashizaijuedebieniu。
xiaohuizheicaihuifupingjing,genzaiwenwanhoumianchulewuzi,yiranduozaiwenwanhoumian。
yigegetoubugao,chuanzhehuisepianjinshangyi,zhazhekutuidelaotaitai,yishounamugun,yishounamupen,zhengduizhemaocaowudama。
“gaisidetouchizei!touwojiadejidan!nigemeiliangxindexiaozaizi,genzhesharenxueshayang。diuzuzongshibadaidelian!”
jiefangsilindewenshengguolaiweiguan,quemeiyourenganshangqianquanshuo。
quancundouzhidaodinglaotaitaishigenanchande,benzheduoyishiburushaoyishideyuanze,dajiahuoyezhinengzaixinlimomoweiwenwanmuzigankaijiju。
sheijiaozheigewenwanshiwailaide,youshigeruanshizi,shuobudingnibangletamen,huitoutayoupaoqudinglaotaitaigenqianketouzuoyide,nongdebierenyishenbushi。
suoyikankanrenaojiuxingle,dingjiadexianshibuhaoguan。
wenwanjuedenaodaimeiyouneimetengle,zhishiyanqianlaotaitaideqiaodashengshizaishoubule。
“别敲了!”
wenwanbagaoyinlianghouleyisangzi。
bujinlaoyaopolengleyixia,kanrenaodeyejingdaile。
pingshizheixiaoxifukemeiyouzheigedanliangganfanggaoqianga!
dinglaotaiyibengsanchigao:“haonigewenwan,nijiaoerzitoudongxi,haiganfapiqi?jiaonierzibatoudejidannachulai!”
wenwanhuitoukanzhexiaohui,xiaohuiyaoyaotou,qingshengshuo:“wozhinalecaituanzi,meiyounajidan。”
wenwanxiangxinerzidehua,youjidanzaojiunachulaijitachile。
“laotaitai,bieshuonisunzimeiyounanidejidan,jiushinalenidejidan,niyebugaizaizheiliyaowuheliu。”
he,xiaotizizhangbenshile,ganzaitamianqianfanbole。
“toudongxizuozei,nizheigedangniangdehaihaoyisishuozheihua!neijidanshijilaoerxifubushentide,nimenyoushazigechi?yitiantiandehuoerbugan,wozaijializhuangbing,haixiangchijidan,zuomeng!”
woqu,zheimebujianglidema?
wenwanzhenshidiyicijianzheiyangmanhengdelaotaitai,ererxifushiren,daerxifujiubushiren?
“laotaitai,xiaohuimeiyoutounijiajidan,womenyebushizei。nishuohuabieneimenantingxingbuxing!nishuosheibuganhuowozaijializhuangbingle?zheihuanijiubupazaotianqian?”wenwanfanji。
laotaitaishangxiadaliangzhewenwan,xiaotiziaileyigunzi,zhangpiqile,jingranganzaitamianqianfanggaosheng?