第1章女神老婆
“奶奶，求求你！”
“kanzaiwoyeshininsunzidefenshang，ninjiujiewoshiwankuaiqian，jiwomazhiwanbing，zheiqianwoyidinghuihainin！”
sufanguizaisujiaketingnei，touyikepolepi，lianshangzhanmanxianxue。
“gunchuqu，wosujiameiyounizheiyangdesunzi！”
“zicongnibeiganchusujiadeneiyike，womensujiajiuyuniduanjueleguanxi！”
sujialaonainainushenghoudao：“zaibuchuqu，wolikedaduannideshuangtui！”
beisujiaganchumenhou，sufanxiangqiletangjinyao，tadeqiannvyou。
金豪酒吧。
yangzitaozuoweishengriliwusongjitangjinyaoheli。
“jinyao，qiuqiuni，kanzaiwoshiniqiannanyoudefenshang，jiejiwoshiwankuaiqian！”
“zhihaolewomadebing，wohuinulizhuanqian，yifenbushaodehaijini！”
sufanguizaitangjinyaodemianqian，xiangqiyishengdehua，zaibujinimazuoshoushu，nimasuishidouyoukenengsiwang。yaojinyaguan，sufanhuangzhetangjinyaodekujiao，mailitaohao。
“给我滚开！”
tangjinyaoyijiaobasufantifanzaidi，yanedemadao：“nihaizhidaozijishiqiannanyouni，dangchuwozhenshixialeyan，caikanshangnizheizhongfeiwu，zhugouburudechusheng！”
“lianzijidasaodouganfeili，haigantishiwodeqiannanyou，wodoujuedehaisao！”
“haigangenwojieqian，wokandaonijiuexin！”
“滚出我的酒吧！”
sufantangzaibinglengdedibanshang，yangtoukandaodeshiwushubishideyanshenhechaofengdehuayu。
“haha……feiwu……chusheng……qinshou……”
“滚出去……”
sannianqiansujialaoyeziqushi，meiyouleyeyedebihu，sufandangtianjiubeirenxianhai。zaoshangxinglai，sufanjingranshitangzaitadasaoyaoqianhuidechuangshang，gebohailouzheta。
yaoqianhuikeshisufan，qindabodeerzitatanggedexifu，sufandeqindasao。
dangri，sufanhetamuqinjiubeiduanjueguanxi，ganchusujia。
sufanliusuishi，fuqinjiuqushile，congci，kaishiletahemuqinerrendeliulangshenghuo。
caganyanlei，sufanmeiyoulihuizhongrendexiuru，zaicipadaotangjinyaogenqian：“jinyao……”
haimeishuohua，tajiubeicongmenkouchongjinlaideyangzitao，chuaifeichuhaojimi。
“gansaoraowonvpengyou，nizheigefeiwu，huogouleshibushi！”yangzitaobengzhelian，duizhesufannushenghedao。
molemozuijiaodexue，sufanrenzhejutong，padaotangjinyaoheyangzitaoliangrenmianqian。
“qiuqiunimenerwei，xingxinghao，jiujiewoshiwan！”
“woyidingganendaide，jinimenzuoniuzuoma，baodanimen！”
sufanguizaidishang，chuleqiurao，biewuxuanze。
“滚！”
“wozheilibuhuanyingni！zaiyebuyaorangwokandaoni！”
tangjinyaodaheyisheng，duizhebaoanhuilehuishou：“batajiworengchuqu！”
“慢着！”
yangzitaozuijiaoyigou，daizheyifujianxiao，shenshoulanzhulebaoan。
“zheiqianma，yebushibukeyijiejini！”
“danshiwoyougetiaojian！”
zuoweiyangshijiazudedashaoye，yangzitaozuixihuanzhemoren，zheimehaodejihuitazenmekenengfangguo。
“shenmetiaojian，ninshuo，zhiyaowonengzuodao，wojuebuyouyu！”sufanyanlitouzheliangguang，lianmangshuodao。
“tingshuosujiajixinhaishisuoyoudeqiyedalezhaohu，meirenluyongni，nixianzaikaojianlajiweisheng！”
yangzitaoshuowan，duizheyipangdefuwushengbailexiashou：“jiwoduanyipandangaolai！”
bashoulidedangaotulekoutuomo，yangzitaoyibarengdaodishang，yongjiaoniansui。
“lai，bawodexiezitianganjing，zheishiwankuaiqianjiushinide！”
jiaocoudaosufandezuishang，yangzitaohuanglehuangshoulideyitaqian，manshijixiao。
sufanmeitoujinzhou，yanjingxuehong，lenglengkanzheyangzitaohetangjinyao，tameixiangdaojingshizheiyangde**。
“kuaitiana，nizheigefeiwu！”
“tamade，laozihaidengzheni！”
kandaosufanmeiyoufanying，yangzitaoyongjiaozaisufanliangcedelianshanghenhendeyimin，baxieshangdedangaodoutuzaitalianshang。
“哈哈哈……”
kandaobianchengyizhixiaohuagouyiyangdesufan，zhongrenquandouhahadaxiaoqilai。
yangzitaoyibaqiazhusufandezuiba，manlianzhengning：“xianzaihouhuile，wanle！”
“nijiushisi，yedejiwotianganjing！”
shuozhe，yangzitaojiubaxieziwangsufandezuilisai。
“砰……”
jiubadedamenbeirenshengyingdezhuangkai。
jiangmantingchuanzheyishenzisedezhangqun，wudongzhebaidehuangyandedazhangtui，qingshuaiyixiatoufa，youruyiweinvshenjianglin，shenshangsanfazheyigulengyandeqishi，jingzhidechaozhesufanzoulai。
jiubaneiyizhongnanrenshunjianjingdai。
“mei，taimeile，bukuishixinhaishidebingshannvshen！”
“zheiyangdenvrenyaoshinengkanwoyiyan，wodoujuedeyaoronghuale！”
“yaoshitanengzuowodelaopo，wozhenshisiyeyuanyia！”
nanrenmenmuguangdingzaijiangmantingdeshenshang，siyiliulan，naohailihuanxiangzhemeimiaodehuamian，koushuiquandouliulechulai。
yangzitaoyeshikouganshezao，yanleyikoutuomo，tangjinyaozaizheinvrenmianqian，shunjiananranshise。
kanzhesufan，jiangmantingweiweiyixiao，zuidaoleyipianzhongren。
shenzhiliannvshengmendoubeijiangmantingjimidaobushao。
zoudaosufanshenqian，jiangmantingyibatuikaileyangzitao，kuazaisufandegeboshang，batalaleqilai。
“老公！”
“yongqian，jinilaopowoshuoa！”
“guizaizheiliqiubieren，jigeyisi？”
jiangmantingduizhesufanbutingzhayan，shiyitapeihe，sufanquemeinenglinghui。
“老公？老婆？”
苏凡喃喃地嘟囔着。
zheinvrenshishenmeyisi，sufandailenglengdezhanzaiyuandi，yilianmengquan。
meibeiganchusujiazhiqian，sufanyeshiyigefuerdaishaoye，jiangmantingzheinvrentarenshi，jueduidexinhaishidiyimeinv，jianletayanjingdoubupiaoyixia，yinweibuxie。
今天这是什么情况？
酒吧内炸了锅。
xinhaishidiyidajiazu，jiangshijiazudeqianjin，jiangmantingshisufandelaopo！
suoyounanrendouduisufantoulaijidudemuguang，yaoshiyanshennengsharen，sufanyijingsileqianbaibian。
kandaosufanmeiyoufanying，jiangmantinggangadexiaolexiao，niutoukanxiangyangzitao。
“yangdashao，nineizhixiehaishidiuleba，huitouwosongniyishuang，balilafeierdashishejidezuixinkuandiwangzhizun！”
yanjingzaitangjinyaoshenshanglveguo，jiangmantingmeiyansaoxiangzhongren：“jintiansuoyoudexiaofei，woqingke，qingdajiajinqingwanshua！”
众人欢呼雀跃。
jiangmantingtuozhesufanzouchujiuba，xinliqueshijiqideyane，yaobushiyinweiyeye，tacaibuhuiyanzheichangxini。
“ji，zheishiwushiwan！”
“shiwomainideqian，xianzaigenwoqudengjijiehun，nijiukeyinazheqian，qujinimazhibingle！”
jiangmantinglenglengdeshuowan，baqiansaidaolesufandeshouli。
sufankuxiaozhejieguoqian，meixiangdaozijiyigefeiwuhainengyouzheiyangdeyongchu。
maishen，tadangranyuanyi，zhiyaonengzhihaotamadebing，yaotademingdoukeyi。
zuojincheli，sufanshizairenbuzhu，kanzhepiaoliangdejiangmanting，haoqidewendao：“jiangxiaojie，wonengwen，niweishenmeyaozheimezuoma？”
jiangmantingxienizhepiaoleyiyansufan：“womeixinqingjiedanideyiwen！”
“jizhunideshenfen，maijilewo，nilaolaoshishitingwodefenfujiuxingle！”
pengleyibizihui，sufanbishanglezui，xianzaizuizhongyaodeshizhihaolaomadebing，qitadedouwusuoweile。
congminzhengjudatingchulai，kanzheshoulidexiaohongben，jiangmantingchangranruoshi，yiqianzongshixiangzhejiayigeruyilangjun，jubanyichanglangmandehunli。
rujinweilejiazu，weileyeye，queheyigefeiwujiehun。
“jinimazuowanshoushuhou，likejiwodadianhua！”jiaodaiwan，jiangmantingzuojinlecheli。
sufandianlediantou，baozheqian，chaozhetamasuozaideankangyiyuanpaoqu。
酒吧内。
tangjinyaoyilianxionghen，yanjinglimaozhehuo。
“好你个苏凡！”
“jingranzhaobiedenvrenlaixiuruwo！”
tangjinyaoxiangqiganggangjiangmantingwushitadeyanshen，yachiyaodegegezuoxiang。
duijiangmanting，tangjinyaomeishenmebanfa，dansufan，takeyisuibiannie。
“zitao，niyidingyaohaohaojiaoxunyixiasufan，tiwochujintianzheikoueqi！”
tangjinyaozuanzhequantou，ehenhenshuodao。
“jinyao，nifangxin！zheishibaozaiwoshenshang！”yangzitaoshuangkuaideyingdao，buyongtangjinyaoshuo，tayedasuanduisufanxiashou，ganggangjiangmantingyewurutale。
yangzitaoshigexiaoren，youchoubibao。
tongyangyouyujidanjiangmanting，yangzitaobazhangsuandaosufanshenshang，tadasuanbasufannongchengcanfei，rangtashengburusi。
安康医院。
sufandemuqinlihuifang，shoushufeichangchenggong。
yongshengyudeqian，sufanqingleyigebaomu，zhaoliaotamalihuifangdeshenghuo，suihoudaqiledianhua。
“jiangxiaojie，xiexieni，womameishile！”sufanyuqizhenzhi。
bulunyuanyin，bijingshijiangmantingdechuxian，tamacaichedituolileweixian。
“hao，neinizhijielaixinhaishirenminyiyuanba！”
jiangmantingqiruoyousi，shuowanbianguaduanledianhua。
“嘟嘟嘟……”
zheinvrenhaizhenshilengxue，shouqidianhua，sufanchaozheyiyuanwaizouqu。
ankangyiyuanwaidexiangzili。
sufanturanbeiyihuorenjiezhu。
“你是苏凡！”
yigeshencaikuiwudedahuzi，shenhoudaizhesiwugexiaodi，xionghendewendao。
“你们是什么人！”
“nimenyaoganshenme？nimenjiubupawobaojingma！”
sufanqiangzhuangzhending，taochushouji。
“哈哈哈……”
dahuzifangshengkuangxiao，xiaodimenyefuhezhedaxiao。
turanyibabishou，congsufandehoubei**letadexiongtang。
yikouxianxuecongsufandezuilipenlechulai，zhenggerenzhongzhongdezaidaozailedishang。
suihoutadeshoujiaojiaojinquanbubeitiaoduan。
sufanrenzhejutong，yaoyadengzhedahuzi。
“laodia，niyebieguaigejigexinhenshoula，nishidezuilebugaidezuiderena！”
dahuzishuowan，zaisufandetoushangyoucaileyijiao。
“fangxin，nisibule！”
“kehujiaodaile，yaorangnihuozhe，danyaorangnihuodebisihainanshou！”
daizheyilianjianxiao，dahuzimanyilikai。
xianxuejintoulesufanxiongqiandeyupei，neishitayeyequshiqianliujitaweiyideliwu，dingzhutayidingyaoshikedaizaishenshang，huibaoyoutapingan。
zheishi，yupeituranjinguangshanxian。
sufanzhenggeshentidoumuyuzaijinguangnei。
suiji，suoyoudejinguanghuijuchengyidaoguangshu，chongjinlesufandeshenti。
yishizhongchuxianleyigemohudeshengyin。
“woshisujialaozusuguxi，cengshiaoshitianxiadewushenyi，jiqiannianqianbeirenfengyinzaiyupeinei，jintiandaolejiefengdeshike，shinidexianxuechedihuanxinglewo！”
“danxianzai，wodeshenxinyichediyuyupeironghe，xianzaibawosuoyoudegongli、xiuwei、zhishichuanshouyuni。congxianzaiqi，nijiushiwushenyi，tongshinishenshangyedanfuzhezhongyaodezeren，nihaohaoyunyong！”
shengyinxiaoshi，sufandeyishihuifupingjing。
sufanhaimeigaoqingchushizenmehuishi，turanganjuetineichongyingzhewushunengliang，naohaizhonghuijinlewushuxinxi，toupizhalieyibantengtong，yunleguoqu。