第二章 我要和我老婆睡觉

dierzhangwoyaohewolaoposhuijue

jifenzhonghoutangqingxuebianhuidaoleliangrengenqian,tayilianqianyi:

“zhenshibuhaoyisileliuzong,ganggangwofuqindadianhuashuotadaoqianzhoulaizhaowole,haishuoyoufeichangzhongyaodeshiqingrangwoxianzaijiumashanghuijia,zheidunfankongpashizanshichibule,dengyihouyoushijianlewozaiqingninhezhangzongwangzongtamenhaoba?”

tingdaozheihua,liuxiangfeixinzhongyeshiyouxiebutaigaoxing,buguotayebuhaofazuo,jirensuihouketaolejijujiugeziliqule。

ertangqingxuezeshihuidaobangongshijiandanshoushileyifanhoubianqianwangletingchechang,gangzhunbeishangchejiukandaolechetouneigebeizhuanghuaidedadeng,tayanzhongdunjishanguoyimofennuzhise。

“kee!juranbatajiwangjile!”

tanachushoujijiuxiangyaojimishubangongshidadianhua,danshikanlekanshijianqueyouzhinengshiwunaifangqile,zheidouguolehaojigexiaoshile,neirengujizaojiuzouleba?

suanle,mingtianzaishuozheigeshiqingba,tangqingxuexiangzhebianshangchehuijiale。

qingyuehupandemouchuxiaobieshu,tangzhonghuadaizhezhouyangloushanglouxiadouzixijianchaleyifan,zheibujianchabuzhidao,yijianchazhendeshibatadouheleyitiao。

zhouyangjingranzailouxiadeyigeqiangbichazuohezijinverfangjiandeyigebuouxiongyanjinglimianzhaodaolelianggeyinzangdeweixingshexiangtou!

shishishang,zaizheizhiqiantajiuyijingzhaozhuanyerenshilaizixidesouchaguozheigebieshule,keshidangshidoumeiyouzhaochushenmejiankongshebeilai,xianzaikanlaizheizhouyangzhendeshiguorenzhichua!

jianchawanlezhihouliangrenbianlaidaoleketingdeshafashangzuolexialai,tangzhonghuaxiaozhejizhouyangqichahe,jiuzaizheishi,menkouhuranchuanlaiwanleyizhengaogenxiedeshengyin……

tangqingxuehuanshangxiezihoujiuzoulejinqu,gangzhunbeifangxiashoulidebaojiukandaoshafashangzuolelianggeren,qizhongyigeshizijidelaoba,erlingwaiyige……

“nizenmehuizaiwojiali!?”

tashenqingxianshiyijing,xuanjibianfennudelaidaolezhouyanghezijilaobademianqian,tazhizhezhouyang,zhuantouzhiwenzijidelaoba:“ba!tashizenmehuishi!?nizenmebatazheizhongrendaidaojialilaile?!”

tangzhonghuaxiaolexiao:“haole,wozhidaonimenzhiqianyoudianxiaowuhui,zailaibieshudelushangzhouyangdouyijingjiwoshuole,tayeshiweileganquhewojianmiancaihuihenibuxiaoxinzhuangshangle,bujiushiyigechetoudengma?neiqiandaihuierlaobajinihaoba?”

“zheibushiqiandeshiqing!zheirenjianzhijiushiyigewulaia!”tangqingxueqidedoukuaiduojiaole,fanguanzhouyangzeshiyifuyouyouzaizaideyangzi。

tangzhonghuaqishenbazijinverfudaoshafashangzuolexialai:“hehehaolebieshengqile,wohaiyouzhengshieryaogennishuoni。”

tangqingxuesuiranzuolexialai,danshikanxiangzhouyangdemuguangyijiushiyifunengshasirendeyanshen!

tangzhonghuabianjizijinverdaochabianshuodao:“xiaoxuea,nihaoxianghaimeiyoushenmeduixiangba?”

tangqingxuebenlaihaizaiqitoushang,tingdaozijifuqinzheihuadangjiyileng。

“zenmele?”tayihuodezhuantoukanzhezijidelaoba。

tangzhonghuaxiaozhebayibeichadijiletangqingxue,danxiaodao:“qishiyemeishenme,zhishiniyeyehewokanninianjiyebuxiaole,jiujinizhangluoleyimenhunshi,ni……”

“wobujiehun!”haimeidengtangzhonghuabahuashuowan,tangqingxuebianfennuchushengle。

tangzhonghualengleyileng,xuanjiwunaitanqi:“ai,nizheiyatoua,congxiaojiubutingquan,woheniyeyezheiyeshiweilenihaoa,kuangqienimenyedourenshi,zheiyemeishenmebuhaoma。”

tangqingxueshuangshouhuanbao,weiweicetoulengzhelian:“zenme?nandaotazhangjiayoulaitiqinle?nimenyouxiangbawodangchengshengyichangshangdewanwujiaoyichuquma?”

tangzhonghualianseweiweiyouxiebuyue,buguoxiangdaozijiyiqianyemeizenmeguanxinguozijinver,xinzhongbumianyouyouxiekuijiule:

“不是张家。”

tangqingxuewenyanyizheng,bushizhangjia?nandaoshijinyangjituandeqinjia?huozheshiqianbujiuzainasijiekeshangshidetaishanjituanliujia?chulezheixiedajituanjiazudeshaoye,zijiyeshizaishixiangbuchuqitashenmerenle。

“hehe,qishiwogenniyeyexuanderenjiushizhouyang。”

tangqingxueyoudianmeng,zhouyang?zheishinagejituangongsideshaoyea?zijizenmeconglaidoumeiyoutingshuoguoa。

zheiqishiyeguaibudeta,gangganghezhouyangzhuangchehoutalianduifangmingzidoumeilaidejiwenjiujichongchongdezoule,suoyitadaoxianzaiyebuzhidaoyanqianzheigebeizijikoukoushengshengjiaozuowulaidejiahuojiushizijidejiehunduixiang!

“zheishinagejituangongside?wozenmemeitingshuoguo?”tangqingxuexiumeiweicu,yihuodekanzhezijidelaoba。

tangzhonghuayouxiechayi,takanlekanzijidenver,youzhuantoukanlekanzhouyang,yihuodao:“zenme?nimeiyoubanimingzigaosuxiaoxuema?”

zhouyangmeiyoushuohua,danshouchengzhenaodaikaozaishafashangyilianwanweidekanzheduimiandetangqingxue。

cishidetangqingxuedairuomuji,tashuangmouzhizhongmanshijinghai。

“ni……nijiaozhouyang?”tawenchuzheihuadeshihouxinzhongdouhaimeinengjieshouzheigeshishi。

zhouyangxiaozhedianlediantou:“meicuo,wojiushizhouyang。”

hong!tangqingxuezhiganjueyizhenjingleiluoxia,zijidouchadianyunguoqule……

tajixieshidezhuanguotoukanxiangletangzhonghua,zuijiaohaizaiweiweichoudong:“ba……ni、nibuhuishizaigenwokaiwanxiaoba?”

tangzhonghuadanxiao:“hehe,woheniyeyezenmehuinazheizhongshiqinglaigennikaiwanxiaoni?”

“nimenshifenglema!?nizhidaozheirenshishenmerenma?tazhibuguoshiyigeliansiwanqiandounabuchulaideqiong**sia!nimenzenmehuibawojiajizheizhongrena!?”

tangqingxueshuozheihuadeshihouzhenggerenyijingzhanqilaile,lianshangmanshibugan,tashizaixiangbutong!yeyeshilaohutulema!?tazenmehuikanshangzheizhongrena!

“xiaoxue!buxunizheimeshuozhouyang!tashinizhangfu!ni……”

tahuahaimeishuowantangqingxuebianzhijiezhuanshenzoudaowaimianyuanziqule,tangzhonghuahezhouyangdoulengzhule,piankehoutangzhonghuacaigangadejizhouyangjieshi:“buhaoyisirangnijianxiaole,woxianzaijiuququanyixiaxiaoxue,nishaozuoyixia。”

zhouyangdianlediantouhoutangzhonghuabianqishenchuququanshuozijidenverle。

dagaiguoleshifenzhongdeyangzi,tangzhonghuabiandaizhezijinveryouhuidaoleketing,zhouyangyebuzhidaoliangfunvzaiwaimianshuolexieshenme,fanzhengjinwuzhihoutangqingxuebianmeiyouzaifanduile,danneishuangmouzhizhongduizijidedishizhiyihaishihenmingxiande。

jiezhetangzhonghuayouzhufulejiju,shuoshenmeyihouzhouyangjiuzhuzaizheilile,rangtangqingxueyaohaohaozhaogutazhileide。

ranertangqingxuequeshiyijuhuadoumeiyoutingjinqu,taxianzaixiangdejiushizenmerangzheige**gunchuzijidebieshu!

“haole,wohaiyaoganzhezuofeijihuiqu,jiubugennimenduoliaole,zoulea。”

tangqingxuesuiranshengqi,danhaishiqishenqusongzijilaoba,zhouyangyeqishenquxiangsongle,bijingrenxianzaishizijiyuefule,zheidianlishuhaishiyaoyoude。

linzouqiantangzhonghuahaiyaoxiachechuangduiliangrenxiaozhehuilehuishou,tangqingxuemiansebinglengmeiyousihaobiaoshi,zhouyangzeshixiaozhehuishoudao:

“yuefudarenzouhaoa!jidechanglaichuanmenera!”

tingdaozheihuatangqingxueqideliansedouheile,shuangshouhuanhuanwojin,neixiuquanzhishangyinyinyouqingjinbaolulechulai……

dengtangzhonghuachezichediyuanquhoutabianzhuantouhechidao:“zhouyang!nixianzaijiugunchuwojia!like!mashang!”

zheituranpaoxiaoshidenuhouhedezhouyangdoushiyigejiling,taweiweijingchadao:“zalezheishi?yuefudarencaizounijiuyaohewofenju?zheibutaihaoba?”

“nigewangbadan!**!xianzaiwoyaoqiunilikemashangjiwogunchuqu!gun!”tangqingxuezhizhedamenchuyizhenpaoxiao,zhenggerenkanqilaidoukuaiyaofengdianle。

zhouyanglengleleng,xuanjibaileyiyanpiezuidao:“qie!wocaibuzouni,zheishiwojia!daihuierwohaiyaohewopiaolianglaopoyiqishuijueni。”

shuozhetajiuzhuanshenxiangketinglimianzoujinqule,sihaobulihuishenhouyijingqideshenzidouzaifadoudetangqingxue。

chenmojimiaohou,yuanzilimianchuanlaileyizhenjijinbengkuidejianjiaosheng,suihoubianshitangqingxuedenuma:

“nige**de**!wangbadan!”

zhouyangtinglezhihouzuijiaobudanmeiyoushengqi,neizuijiaofanerhaiyangqileyimolvedaixixuedexiaorong,hehe……genwowaner?haoxixianzaicaikaishini!

zhouyangzuodaoshafashangsuishounaleyigepingguo,haimeifangdaozuilibiankandaotangqingxuenuqichongchongdezoulejinlai。

“ni!xianzaijiujiwogunchuqu!fouzewomashangbaojing!”

zhouyangyaoleyikoupingguo,yanshenpiaolepiaoneizhuozishangdelianggeweixingshexiangtou:“wojuedeniyougenwojiaojingzheigongfu,haiburuxiangxiangshisheizainijialianzhuangdezheilianggeshexiangtouba。”

tangqingxuebenlaihaishiyilianfennude,tingdaoshexiangtouzheisangeziliansedangjiyileng。

“shexiangtou?shenmeshexiangtou?”

tashunzhezhouyangdemuguangkanguoqu,neizhuozishangheranbaizhelianggeheisedexiaodongxi。

tanaqilaikanlekan,yanzhongshanguoyimoyunnuzhise。

“zheilianggedongxinishizainalizhaodaode?”

zhouyangyouchileyikoupingguo,yilianmanbujingxindeshuodao:“yigezaiketingdeqiangbichazuozhishidenglimian,lingwaiyigema……zainiwoshideyigebuouxiongyanjinglizhaodaode。”

buouxiong?tangqingxuexintouyileng,nandaoshuo……

“kannizheiyangzishixiangqilaile?”zhouyanghenshanyuchayanguanse,kantangqingxuedeyangzijiuzhidaotakendingzhidaoyixieyinqing。

tangqingxuekanlekanshoulideshexiangtou,chenshengdao:“neibuouxiongshiqianmianwoshengrideshihou,gongsiyuangongsongwodeshengriliwu,danjutishisheisongdewobujidele。”

zhouyangmeitouweitiao:“zaishoudaobuouxiongzhihouniyouzaiwoshishuiguojuehuozhehuanguoyifushenmedema?henyoukenengnideyinsiyijingbaoluchuqule……”

“meiyou。”tangqingxuehenkending,neibuouxiongshoulaiyecaibuguojitian,zijizheiduanshijiandouzaimangzhedaochutanxiangmu,doumeishijianhuilaixiuxi,doushizaiwaimianjiudianduguode。

zhouyangyileng:“nidoubuhuilaishuijuedema?neiwoyihouqibushiyaodushoukongfangle?”

tangqingxuebenlaihaizairenzhensikaoneishexiangtoudeshiqing,jieguotazheijuhuayoubataxinzhongneigunuhuojidaichulaile……

tazhuantounumeidengyan:“wojinggaoni!niyihoushaozaineilijiwohushuobadao!xiaoxinwosilannidezui!”

zhouyangpiezuixiaodao:“hehe,xinglabiedouzuile,woduziyoudianele,nidaiwoquchidiandongxiba,laizheierwodouhaimeichidaoshenmehaochidea。”

tangqingxuezhangzuijiuyaobochita,danshijiuzaizheishihoutaxinzhonghuranyouyigexindezhuyile……