第一章坏事成双
“呼呼。”
“lipeijiuxiaojie，nidewaimai。”
chuanzhecuqi，yikouqipaoshangshiwuloudeluyunlaibujicahan，tabashouzhongbaozhuangjingzhidewaimai，dixiangdenghouzaigaodangbangongshimenqiandelipeijiu。
“真脏。”
xiumeiweizhou，lipeijiudiezheweishengzhi，shenchuxianxianyushou，gezheweishengzhicongluyunshouzhongjieguozhanranzhehanshuidewaimaibaozhuangdai。
takanleyixiashouwanshangdekadiya，youlengyankanzhemianqianchuanzhecuqideluyun。
“nichidaolewufenzhong。”
“duibuqi，lushangyouxiedu。”
“niyezhidao，zheishizhongwufandian，diantirentaiduo，wozhinengpalouti。”
luyunshenshoumoleyixiaetoushangdedoudadehanzhu，kanzhezheiweichuanzheheisidejingyingyujie：“shizaibaoqian。”
“buhaoyisi，wobutingjieshi。”
yujieyanzhongshanguoyisiqingmie：“nizheiyangdedicengdeqiongren，yongyuanbuhuizhidaoshijiandezhengui。”
“buhuimingbaiwufenzhongzaishangjiehegushiyiweizheshenme。”
“这——。”
luyunzhanglezhangzui，tachidaoyeshiyaokouqiandehaoba。
danchuyuzhiyesuyang，tazhinenggangadedaoqian：“rangnijiudengle。”
“niyiweinidedaoqianhenzhiqian？”
lipeijiuqingmieyixiao，meimuzhongmanshibuxiedekanzheluyun：“chaping。”
“别啊，千万别。”
“zheidandejiagewobujinixingbuxing？”
luyunshifenzheji，etoushangdehanzhuyuemaoyueduo。
“wozheiyidunfanyaobashibayuan，niyigexiaowaimaiyuan，nibujiwo，niyitiannengzhuandelebashiba？”lipeijiubuxiedelengxiao：“meideshangliang！
“嘭！”
“蹬、蹬、蹬。”
niushen，guanshangbolimendelipeijiubianzoujinbangongshi。
sihuduoheluyunshuoyijuhua，doushilangfeishijian！
“我——。”
kanzhelipeijiuzoujinbangongshidebeiying，luyunyiliandaizhi，
songguowaimaidetongxingdouzhidao。
差评是真要命！
“唉，算了吧。”
luyunyaoleyaotou，kanzherenjirendedianti，xiangqishoulijiajidejigedan，zhihaoyaoyazaicipaoxianglouti。
renjiabujichapingshiqingfen，jichapingyehenheli。
毕竟他的确送迟了。
“zhei，shenmeqingkuang！？”
guoranshifuwushuangzhi，huobudanxing。
ganggangxialoudeluyun，bianfaxianjigezhianyuanzhengbatadediandongchewangtuocheshangzhuang。
“dage，wojiushanglousonggewaimai，wolimazou。”
luyunpeizhexiaolian，bagangmailaihaimeilaidejihedebinghongchadixiangzheigezhianyuan。
“你是车主？”
zhianyuanfulefuyanjing，xieyansaoguoluyun，sixiayizhangkouchedan：“niweitingle，mingtianxiawunazhedanzi，daojulijiaofakuanlingche。”
“dage，wojiushangloujifenzhonga。”
“不至于吧？”
kanzhefakuandanshang3000deshue，luyundunshijiuhuangleshen。
tabaqiantiangannonghuoshishuaishangletui，jixushoushufei，luyunbazheiduobannianzanxiadesanwankuaidoudaguoqule。
现在别说三千了。
jiushichifan，tadouxuyaohemababajie！
花呗能刷罚款不？
“zheishiweilaikejichengchuangyedasha，zheishihangchengdibiao，zheishiwushushehuijingyingmenchurudedifang！”
“nizheishiyingxiangchengshixingxiang！”
“nizheiyangderen，henishuozheixieniyetingbudong。”
zhianyuandengzheluyun：“bixukou！”
“dage，jiujicijihui，woxiacikendingzhuyi。”
“nizheizhongwaidiren，jiubupeizaichenglidaizhe！”
“滚。”
cubaodetuikailuyun，zheizhianyuanbuzhishibeinvpengyoudailelvmaozi，haishizuowanguileliulian，xianranxinqingbushihenhao。
tahenhendedengleluyunyiyan，lenghe：“niyaozaiganbibi，wojiuyizunaozhifazui。”
“把你拘了！”
“我——”
daleyigeliejudeluyunyileng。
“dage，chekeyituozou，chelidedongxiwokeyinachulaibu？”
luyunzhihaotuierqiuqicidekanxiangzheizhianyuan：“zheishigukedewaimai。”
“还不滚？”
shuozhe，zhianyuanzuoshijiuyaonashoukaoqukaoluyun：“wozuifannimenzheizhongdicenglaji！”
“suanle，tayeburongyi。”
kanzhechuleyitouhan，jidetuantuanzhuandeluyun，lingwaiyigezhianyuanlanzhuzheigebaozaodezhianyuan，duiluyunhuilehuishou：“nazheganjinzou。”
“谢谢，谢谢。”
luyunrumengdashe，ganjincongwaimaixiangzhongnachushengxiadesandanwaimai。
guanbixitongbuzaijiedan，baoleyanchihou。
saoleyiyanlubiantingzhedegongxiangxiaohuangche，luyunzhihaoqidanchequsongzheisandan。
“我也是倒霉。”
“zheisanqiankuaifakuan，wogaizenmecou？”
tinghaogongxiangdanche，zouxiangpeisongzhandeluyunjinsuomeitou。tapaodeshilvtuanzhuansong，hepaozhongbaodeqishoubuyiyang，tadegongzichuquemeidandepeisongfeiwai，haiyoupeisongzhanjiyudedixinyuquanqinjianghepaodanjiangli。
dangranxiangyingde，yejiumeiyouzhongbaoqishouneimeziyou。
bunengjintianxiangbusong，jiukeyibusong。
zhongbaodegongzimeizhoudoukeyitongguoapptixian，tapaozhuansong，zeshianyuefagongzi。
“zhinengwenwenzhanzhang，wokebukeyiyuzhizheigeyuedegongzile。”
luyunyouxietongkudepailepainaodai，qiantianfadeqiqianwugongzi，tayijingquanbujitabadahuiqule。
jintianshishiqihao，xiageyueshiwuhaocaifagongzi。
tabukenengdengdaoxiageyuefagongzizaiqushuche。
diandongcheshitachifandebenqian！
一天都不能没！
“luyun，nihaiganhuilai，xugezhaonini。”
zailuyunzoujinpeisongzhanhou，diaoduyuanxiaohuiyanzhongmanshixingzailehuodekanzheluyun：“niyouzuoshenmeposhirexugeshengqile？”
“没啊。”
luyunyileng：“tazenmeshuo？”
“wozenmezhidao，woyoubushixuge？”
xiaohuilengxiao：“nizijiquwenba。”
“好吧。”
luyunzhihaoyingzhetoupidequzhaozhanzhangxuguoda，fanzhengxuguodabuzhaota，tayeyaoquzhaoxuguoda。
“heng，nijiudengzheaixunba！”
“zhangdeshuaiyoushenmeyong，tiantianzhuaideerwubawanside，zhenyiweizhangdeshuainengdangfanchi？”
“laoniangyueniwanshangquxixiguangxiaoshulinnihaibuqu。”
“nibeikaichucaihaoni！”
kanzheluyundebeiying，xiaohuilengxiao：“huogai！”
“唉。”
tingzhexiaohuidechaofeng，luyunxinzhongyishengzhangtan。
zheixiaohuishengaoyimiwuwu，tizhongbiyibaisandeluyunhaizhong。bujinbangdayaoyuan，erqiegengxinggeelie。
nafangmiandougetbudaoluyundedian。
zheirangluyunzenmehetayuehui？
haiburuzhijiejujue，chediqiamiexiwanglaidezhijie。
bijingmeiyouxiwang，bianmeiyoutongku。
......。
zoujinxuguodadebangongshi，luyunxinzhongyouxietante。
bijingzhiqianneigeyujielipeijiu，shuoyaojitachaping——。
“徐哥，你找我？”
“luyun，nitemazenmegaode！？”
“嘭！”
xuguodazhongzhongdeyipaizhuozi，ehenhendedengzheluyun，etoushangqingjinbaotiao：“jintianquanzhanwugetousu，sigedoushinide。”
xuguodayilianfennu：“gongsizaiquanshikaizhanyouxiupeisongzhandepingbi，laozinengbunengshengdaogongsidangjingli，quankanzheicile。”
“nitemazaijilaozituohoutui，neijiuzijigun！”
“laozizheilibiedebuduo，jiutemaxiangyaozhuanqianderenduo。buzhiduoshaopaozhongbaode，douxiangyaoguolaipaozhuansong。”
zhizheluyundebizi，yiliannuqidexuguodabiandashenghuhouhehechi：“nigegoudongxi！”
“xuge，jintianshigeyiwai，wochebeikoule。”
luyundizhetou，suiranxinzhongbiequ，danyezhinengyaoyarennai。
meibanfa，renzaiwuyanxia，budebuditou。
fuqinzhibingxuyaoqian，meimeidudaxuexuyaoshenghuofei，tazijiyexuyaochifan。
zheifengongzuo，tadiubuqi！
tayehenxiangyibazhangpaizaixuguodalianshang，houyijucizhi。
但他——。
“闭嘴。”
“我不听解释。”
xuguodaningxiaozhedengleluyunyiyan：“fakuanwubai！”
“xuge，fakuanworen，danwoyougeshi。”
beipenleyiliantumoxingzideluyunhenshiganga：“woxiangyuzhisanqiankuaigongzi。”
“啥！？”
xuguodabeiluyunzhijieqixiaole：“luyun，nijintiannaozishibeimenjiale，haishibeilvtile？”