第6章 俗到不能再俗的桥段

jirenhuanleyifudunshiganjuehaoduole,zhangzhijiehezhuhouzhaozouzaiqianmianxianggedajiashaoye,liujinzhangyonggudayongzouzaihoumianxiangshijiapu。jirenlaidaodajieshangdunshixuanxiaoxianhuodeshenghuoqixipumianerlai,zhangzhijiejingliguohoushirenshanrenhaidejingxianghaibujuedeshenme,zhuhouzhaoquejuedezheizhenshirenaojile。

zhuhouzhaoxinggaocailiededongkankanxiqiaoqiao,zhangzhijieyeshipoganxinqi,liujinsanrenkuzheliangenzailiangweiyehoumianshenqingjinzhangdezhaoyingzhe。huranzhuhouzhaojiubeiyanqiandetangrenxiyinle,yigebengtiaojiuguoqule,tangrendezaoxingxuxurusheng。zhuhouzhaokankanzheigekankanneige,shifenxihan。zhangzhijiexiaozhewendao:“laozhang,zheitangrenzenmemaia?”

laozhangkanzheshengyilaile,gaoxingdao:“sanwenqianyige。”zhangzhijieduizhuhouzhaoxiaodao:“xihuanjiutiaojige。”zhuhouzhaokankanzheigebucuo,youkankanneigebucuo,tiaolehaojizhi。liujingangxiangtaoqian,zhangzhijiebaishoudao:“ai,jiranchulaileneijiuwozuodong,laoliuqianwanbiekeqi。”zhangzhijiezhidaozhuhouzhaoduiqianmeishenmegainian,huaqiangujiyeshiliujinzhangyonggudayongtamenjigechu,tamenjigexianzaidoudiweibugao,gujiyemeijigeqian。zhangzhijieconghebaoliquchugeyinjiaozidijitangrenlaobo,tangrenlaobomianlunanse,zhangzhijiebaibaishouxiaodao:“buyongzhaole”。

liujinlianseyihongdao:“xiaohouye,zheizenmehaoyisi?”zhangzhijiexiaodao:“doushizijirenkeqishenme,nandechulaitang,chulailewojiusuandongdaozhule,jingeerwoqingle。”liujinzhangyonggudayongdoushifengaoxing,juedexiaohouyechangliang。zhangzhijiexinlixiaodao,peizhuhouzhaowanyitianhainenghuajigeqian,zaishuozanhaiquezheigeqian。

jirendunshiyougaoxingdeguangqilaile,zhuhouzhaochilejikoutangrenzhoumeidao:“kanzhebucuo,chiqilaibuhaochiayoudianku,youdianse”。zhangzhijiexiaodao:“zheitangnalinengbideshanggonglidegongtang,zirankouganbuhao,yejiuchigexinxian。”zhuhouzhaoyitingyedui,batangrenjilegudayongnazhe,youxingzhibobodeguangqilai,buyihuijiumailebushaoxiaowanyi,doushibuzhiqianquegonglijianbudaodedongxi。

jirenzouzhezouzheriyigaoxuan,zhangzhijiexiaodao:“douzhongwule,yaobuquwojiachidunfan?”zhuhouzhaoyitingdunshiyaotoudao:“buyao,buyao,qulenijiajiubaolule”。zhuhouzhaoyimoduzi,queshiyoudianele,kanlekanqianmianjingxidao:“qianmianyoujiafanzhuang,yipinxiangjiulou,jiutale,zouzouzou。”

zhangzhijiewunaidaizhezhuhouzhaozoujinlejiulou,xiaoerdageqiandiantouhayaoxiaodao:“jiweiye,limianqing!”zhangzhijieqiaoleqiao,huanjinghaibucuo,dunshifangxinxialai。“loushanghaiyoubaojianma?”zhangzhijiejuedehaishidaizhezhuhouzhaoqubaojianchibijiaoanwenkaopu。

xiwangshihaode,buguoxianshimashigugande。xiaoerpeixiaodao:“buhaoyisiaye,jiuloushengyihao,baojianyijingmeile,yaobuxiaodejijiweiyezhaogeweizhihaode?”zhangzhijiexiaodao:“zhenmeikongde?meiyouliuxiabeiyongde?yebuchaqian。”xiaoerpeixiaodao:“ye,zhenmeiyoukongde?yaobujiweiyecouhecouhe?”

zhuhouzhaoqueshixingzhibobodao:“datingyebucuode,renao。”zhangzhijiewuyu,jiranzhengzhudoumeiyijianneijiudatingba。shangleerlouzhaolegekaochuangdezhuozizuolexialai,xiaoerzhaohudao:“jiweiyechidianshenme?”zhangzhijiekanxiangzhuhouzhao,zhuhouzhaoyibaishoudao:“zhijienidianjiushi。”

zhangzhijiesisuoleyixiajiyilihoufulidecaidao:“longzhouguiyu,jisiyiner,babaotuding,wuxiangzige,yipindoufu,huaguyazhang,roumoshaobing,ruyijuan,xingxianzheiyangba!xianlaihuxinyangmaojian。”xiaoerxiaodao:“haolai,jiweiyeshaodeng。”

zhuhouzhaohaishitouyihuizuozaijiuloudedatinglichifan,ganjuetebiexinqi,zuoguyoupantingzhepangbianzhuoshangdebagua。zheishilouxiachuanlaiyishengnvrendejianjiaosheng,dengshirenaoleqilai。zhangzhijiezhuhouzhaojirenceshenxianglouxiakanqu,yuanlaishiyigezaijiuloulichangqudeguniangbeiyiweiyoutoufenmiandexiaobailiandaizheyiduijiapuweileqilai,dishanghaitangzheyiweilaotou,gujishineiweiguniangdeshenmeren。

zheishipangbianzhuoshangchuanlaiyizhenyilunsheng:“shidingguogongxuyongningdesunzixuguangmian。”“ai,zuoniea”“shia,pengshangzheiweiye,zhaosheichushuoliqu。”“meiyourenganguana?”“guogongfudeshi,sheiganguana?”

dianxingdeershizuqinanbanv,buguodamingzuidadeershizujiuzaizijishenbiana,zhangzhijiecetouyikan,zhuhouzhaowozheshuangquan,liansefahong。zhangzhijiezhidaozhuhouzhaoyetingdaolepangbianzhuoshangdeyilunsheng,xinlizhengyiganbaopeng。zhuhouzhaolazhezhangzhijiedao:“zou,zanmenxiaquchouta,chousita。”zhangzhijiebaohan,zheiranghuangshangzhidaoleneihailede,tangtangdamingtaizidangjiechouren,guangyanguandezouzhegujidounengbazhangzhijiehuomaile。

zhangzhijiekuxiaodao:“wentishidianxiabunengbaolushenfen,qiaoqiaorenjianeiwuliugewudasancudejiadinghuwei,zaiqiaoqiaozanmenjige,zanmenshangqubushichouren,shizhaochou。”liujindunshijinzhangdao:“dianxia,ninyaoshikezhepengzhe,nubimenjigejiusidingle。”zhangyonggudayongyedunshidoujinzhangqilailianmangfuhedao:“shiashia,dianxiayidingyaosansia。”

zhuhouzhaobugandao:“neijiuzheiyangzhuangmeikandao?”zhangzhijiexianglexiangdao:“neijiuzhuanyiyixiatamendezhuyili,yihuigenzhewopao。”zhangzhijiezhaohuxiaoerdao:“xiaoer,jiwodapenshui,liangde。”zhuhouzhaodunshimingbaile,suiranchuntianle,buguotianqihaishiyouxieliang,jitayipenliangshuiyegoutashoude。

yihuixiaoerjiuduanleyipenliangshuiguolai,xiaodao:“keguan,ninyaodeliangshui。”zhangzhijiejieguoliangshui,chaozhexiamianmiaozhunle,lianpenziyixiazikouleguoqu。yebukanjieguoyilazhuhouzhaojiuchaoyigejiaoluolideloutipaoqu。gangjinqujiupengdaoyigejiuloudehuoji,zhangzhijietaochuyaopailaiyiliangdao:“fengzhibanshi,daiwomenquhouyuanxiaomen,kuaidian。”

jiuloulilongshehunza,huojidaijiuleyesuanyoudianyanli,yikanshichurugongdeyaopai,tuixianruanlesanfen,buganweibei,daizhezhangzhijiezhuhouzhaotamenzhibenhoumen。zhangzhijiedaizhezhuhouzhaotamenchulehoumendunshisonglelekouqi,zhuhouzhaoqueshiledehehezhixiao。

zhangzhijieyibiandaizhetamenganjinyanzhexiangzizou,yibianzhufuliujindao:“yihuiyaoshitamenzhuichulai,zanmensibuchengren,liugonggongchushengbaolushigongliren,tamenkendinghuijidande。”zhangzhijiehuayingangluo,yiqunrenjiucongjiuloulichonglechulai,weishoudezhengshiyigeyoutoufenmiandeluotangji。