我靠！
luanhonghongdechangmianrangjiahaorenyigetoulianggeda，ganmangzuzhi。
“nengyongnaozijiejuedeshi，niganmayongquantou？”
zhanlingyuanzuijiaoshangtiao，“baolijiejuebulesuoyouwenti，quenengjiejuezhizaowentideren。”
zuoshouyoujiuzhuzhongnianrendetoufa，bamunvliangquandourengdaoyuanmenwai。
niutoukanxiang**，“nishizijichuqu，haishijiebanirengchuqu？”
**baozhehaiziduodaojiahaorenshenhou，“haoren，nikebunengtikuziburenzhang，shuohaorangwomenzhudaochaifangzineitiande！”
lundaozhanlingyuanjingededengdayanzhu，“nimenshaguanxi？”
jiahaorenganmanghuiying，“nitingwojiaobian，bushi……shijieshi。haizikebushiwode，jiushikantamenkelianfangzubianyi，youshihouxiuxiushuiguanshutongxiashuidaoshade……”
“zheidoushenmeluanqibazaode，quandougun！”
zhanlingyuannaqikaoqiangjiaodetieqiaofabiao，hede**baozhehaizisatuiwangwaipao。
“啪！”
tieqiaopaizailejiahaorenyaohou，tengdetayesatuipaolechuqu。
laolaoshaoshaozaimenkoukuhao，gangsanqudejiefanglinjuyoupaolaikanrenao。
henkuaiyiliangxunluochexingshierlai，kandaozhanlingyuanzaiwangwairengdongxi，ganmangzuzhi。
“zhushou，ganshenmeni？”
yijialaoxiaolikegaozhuang，jiulianjiahaorenyejiaohan。
“talianwodouda，haibazhanlewojiafangzi……”
zhanlingyuanquecongjinbengdeniuzikupidoulitaochulaiyigexiaobenbendiguoqu，“tamenfeifazhanyou，quandoudaizoushenwen。”
xunluoyuanyihuodechakan，yanzhuchadiandenglechulai，huangluandelizhengjingli。
“保证完成任务！”
laotaitaihaizaiyaosiyaohuo，haizikudegenglihai，henkuaizengyuandaole，buguanbuguquandoutaishangche。
jiahaorenyebeidaishangyishuangyinshouzhuo，yankanyaobeiyajieshangche，taganjinjiaohan。
“ma，wokeshinierzi，bunengzhuawoa……”
zhanlingyuanmeihaoqidebailetayiyan，“bataliuxiaba。”
shoukaodakai，jiahaorenrouleroushouwancoudaojinqian，“ni……nishiganshenmede？”
“ganshenme？ganjinganhuo，baluanqibazaodedongxidourengchuqu！”
aileyijiaodejiahaorenbuganzaiduowen，bazukededongxiquandouguiguijujudebaifangzhengqi，miandetamenfangchulaihouzhaobudao。
linjinzhongwu，yiliangxiangshihuochexingshidaomenkou。
gongrenbanxialaibushaoxinjiaju，quandoutaidaozhengfang，youbazukededongxiquandoulazou。
jiahaorenzhengzaitaijieshangchouyan，youbeitileyijiao。
“yihoubuxujinwowu，yebuxuzaigenluanqibazaodenvrengousandasi。niyaoshibiaoxianhao，majinijieshaoduixiang。”
“hengheng，yaoshibuchangkuandaoshouhuoxuhainengzhao，nikanwoxianzaizheidexingyourenyaoma？”
“younimawozai，shenmewentidoubushiwenti，nizhiguanguaiguaitinghuajiuhao。”
tingzhezenmexiangshizaimaren？
jiahaorendexinqingyuefayumen，kefangziyijingguohudaoduifangmingxia，zijifanerchenglejirenlixia，haizhenbugandezui。
“赶紧去做饭！”
youaileyijiaodejiahaorenzhihaojinruchufang，meiduojiunonghaoleliangcaiyitang，haiyouyiguomifan。
xihongshichaojidan，shaoqiezi，qingcaidoufutang。
zhanlingyuanyemeizhiwangduohaochi，changleyikouqueyanjingfaliang，likefengjuancanyun。
jiahaorengangbamifanduanlai，quefaxianliangcaimeile，tazhengduanzhecipenhetang。
“niesiguitoutaia，yebupatangdao？”
zhanlingyuangudonggudonghelegeganjing，fangxiacipenhouyongshoubeiyicazui。
“zheiyoushenme，dangchuzaizhanchang……nimawohaimeichibao，zaiqunongliangcai。”
“meile，jialiyijingduanchui。”
“咣当！”
jinyuanbaorengzhuoshang，jiahaorenyizuikuaidesudunazaishouli。
“dengzhe，bingxianglihaiyourou，shuizhuroupianwozuinashou。”
战场？
jinruchufanghoujiahaorenhaizaizhuomo，gaobudongzheinvrendaodishashenfen。
zijilaobashizongshinian，haoburongyihuilai，diuxiatayouzoule，zheishikendingbujiandan！
“haoren，nigemeiliangxinde，haishuobuchangkuandaolebangwoyanghaizi，xianzaizenmeban？”
**zuozeisidejinruchufangmaiyuan，xinqingfanzaojiahaorenshenshoubataanzaishuigangshang。
“bienao，woqinqichuanmenle。tamenbangzhezhaolezhudedifang，kewomenyijialaoxiaomeiqianhua，nixianjiewodian。”
jiahaorensangqidesongkaishou，“nikanwozhangdexiangqianma，fangzidouchengbierendele，zhentemehuojiujian！”
“nimeiyou，nihoumakendingyou，zhaotayaoa。”“nizenmebuzhaonilaogongyao？”
zhei**yeshigeqipa，mingzijiaobaijie，zaiyedianheduobeirendaiqujiudian，jieguohuaiyundoubuzhidaohaizitadieshishei。
tameixiangzhebahaizidadiao，fanerzhaolegelaoshirenjiale。
laoshirendediemakebulaoshi，jianhaizibageyuejiuchusheng，zhijiezuoleqinzijianding。
jieguotabeizhuchujiamen，jingshenchuhu，haibatagaole，rangtapeichangcailiqian，guansihaimeidawan。
zicongzhidaozheilibeilieweipenghuqugaizaojihua，tajiukaishiyouyiwuyidegoudajiahaoren。
jiahaorenchuohaohaoren，quecongbuganhaoshi，jiushiguyiexinta。
baijieguorannaohuo，“woyaoshinengzhaotayao，haizhaoniganshenme？”
“dajie，zanmenrenshishinianle，qianjiuniannizhengyankanguowomeiyou？budanxiangfenbuchangkuan，haixiangrangwobangniyangyijialaoxiao，nizheinaohuilujueduiqipa。”
“你啥意思？”
jiahaorenshuangshouyitan，“meishayisi，wotanpaile，zhixihuancunlidexiaofang，zanmenyihouhaishibielianxile。”
“xiaofangshinagesaohuli？”jiahaorenfanlegedabaiyan，yibianjixuzuocaiyibianchang。
“cunliyougeguniangjiaoxiaofang，zhangdehaokanyoushanliang……rujindexiaofangyaocheyouyaofang，rangwobaxinshang……”
**jile，“nishuawo，xinbuxinbanimacongfenlibaochulairanghui。”
“你再说一遍？”
kandaotamianluxionghenzhise，shoulihaiwozhecaidao，baijiehedeganjintuichufangmen。
“renshengruxi，quankaoyanji，xirurensheng，hebidangzhen。xiashuidaoduledadianhua，wojinimianfeishutong。”
“niqusiba，jilaoniangdengzhe，zaowanrangniguizaidishangkuzhejiaoma。”
干嘛都想当我妈！
jiahaorenjiangcaidaoyongliduozaianbanshang，hedebaijieganjinpao。
yicipenshuizhuroupianfangdaocanzhuoshang，talianfandoumeichi，qizhepojiudiandongchezhibenjindian。
zoudaoyibanqueyoutingxiale，zuozeisidetaochujinyuanbaokanleyoukan。
dianliangzheyouyijinzuoyou，zhengmianshigeshouzi，beimianshizujinliangzi，kanqilaihenxiangshiguwu。
ruguoshigudong，kejiubunengdangjinzimai，tayouhuidaolejuzhudexiazhaijiedao。
zheishijiuchengqudeyitiaolaojie，fangwudiaipojiu。
liangcedebushihuaquanshouyijiushi**dian，jieweihaiyoujiaguwanzihuaxing。