第1章
“die，niang！nimenhualeyiliangyinzijiumailegeyaosideerxifuhuilaia！maihuilaishisihouwomenhaishiyaowomensihoua？”
“shiadieniang，womenmojiadouqiongchengshayangle，nimenyebushibuzhidao！jilaosantaoxifuwomenbufandui，danhualeneimeduoqianzonggaizhaogezhengchangdeba？zheigekanqilaibingdebuqing，womennalihaiyouqianjitazhibinga？”
“dieniang，nimengaibuhuibeirenpianleyinziba？”
molaofufudizhetou，yifuzuocuoshijieshoupipingjiaoyudemoyang，tamenxinlifeichangkuijiu。
yamenlaileyipiyinzhujiahuojiazufancuoershouqianliandenvzi，kanshangjiaoqianqianhunshujiunengdaihuijia。liangrenbenxiangtaogehaoerxifu，naihejieqianquwanle，zhishengxiayigepadishangdenvzile。
tiansejianwan，shiyejizhetuoshou，shecanlianhua，lianglaonaoziyirejiujiaoqianbangsanerziqianlehunshu，hualeshiwenqianhuanlegeerxifu。yinbeibudongren，shiyehairexinjieleyamentuichejitamen。
liangrenhuilailushangxingshenle，aonao，houhui，kuijiu，kerendoutuihuilaile，haiqianlehunshu，zhinengxiandaihuilaile。
huilaihou，zizhierzierxihuishengqi，liangrenrenpingtamenzeguaiyebuhaikou。
molaotaitaitoukanleyiquan，meifaxianlaosanzaichang，youdixiatou，xiaoshenghuileyiju，“yamenbuhuipianrende，zheiguniangzhihualeshiwenqianeryi。”
很便宜的！
moyunmeixinliyouqi，tayoulixiangdesansaorenxuan，rujinturankongjianggesansao，haishigebingyangzi，gengqile，shuohuayejiaqiangdaibang，“niang，shenmeguniang？nizenmejiuquedingrenjiashiguniang？sheizhidaotadeguowang，shuobudingwawadouyouhaojigele！”
zhongrenyiting，liansedoubianle。
yamentonggaozhishuoshishouqianliannvzi，zheixienvzideguowangzhiziweiyu，sheiyebuzhidaoshifouchengguoqinshengguowa。
lianglaoliansegengnankanle，shuangshoubuzhujiuzheyijiaoche。
moyunmeiqiaozhezhongrenlianse，xinlishutanlexie，taiqixiaba，“wosangexiangmaotangtang，yingjunbufan，tashenmeshenfen，zenmepeideshang？”
yizhimeichushengdemolaoda，dangjixunchilemoyunmei，“nixiangshenmeyang？！dahuxiaojiao！nidejiaoyangqunale？dieniangzuoshiziyoudaoli，nayounizhishouhuajiaodefen？！”
daerxiqinshiwanshangmoyunmei，qingshengdao，“nilengjingyixia，biejidong。dieniangyeshitaicaoxinnisangedehunshi，woxiangxindieniangdaizheigenvzihuilaikendingshiyouyuanyinde。zaishuole，hunshudouqianle，zheishiyamenjianzhengxiaqiande，kebushinengluanlaide。womenmanmanxiangbanfajiushi。”
moyunmeibuchiqinshizheiyitao，tayibashuaikaiqinshi，“shenmehaohuadoushinishuowan，jiunishihaoren！heng！wokechouhuashuoqiantou，wobuhuizhaoguzheinvren！”
qinshibeishuaiyemeishengqi，molaodaqueshengqile，“nilianzijidouzhaogubumingbai，haoyisishuozhaoguren！”
qinshilazhumolaoda，yaoleyaotou。
moyunmeiyangqitou，bufudihemolaodalilunleqilai。
zhongrenzhengchaozhiji，yuanliwuguqifeng，fenglveguoyuanjiaoyizhuhaitangshu，juanqimanshuhaitanghua，youyouzhuanzhuan，zaiyiliangtuicheshangkong，zhizhuleyidong，haitanghuayouruyesejingling，tiaozheyoumeiyoushenmidewudao，piaopiaoran，luozaituicheshangdenvzishenshang。
fengqingqingchuidongnvzideyijin，chuiqiletadefasi，yesezhong，nvzishenshangsihusanfazheweiweiguangdian，haoyizhenzicaijianjianxiaoshi。
haitanghualuomantuiche，liannvzitoushangdouluomanlehua，kanbuqingrongmao。
yipuhongse，shenmiyaoye。
jiuzheyese，shenrenfamao。
meirenfaxiantamenshenhoufashengleshenme，rengzhenglunbuxiu。
molaotaitoufahuabai，cishigengxianlao，zhibuzhuleiliu，tadesanerzibennengyoudahaoqiancheng，queyinweishuangtuibunengzou，shenmedoumeile，rujinliangexifudounantaodao！
moyunmeihenhenpieleyiyantuiche，faxianlebuduijing，jiaohanqilai，“aiya！zenmezheimeduohaitanghua？”
zhongrenkanguoqu，manchehaitanghua，zenmekanzenmeguiyi，nikankanwowokankanni，sheiyebuzhizenmehuishi。
谁摘了撒这？
fengzaiciqi，chuikailenvzishenshangdehaitanghua。
sunanxizhengkaichenzhongdeshuangyan，kanjianyiquanguzhuangdabanderenweizhetakan，dunshimengquanle。
tajidezijiweilejiurenzhuiyaersi，tazheishidaoledifuleba，zheidifudeguizenmegegeguzhuangdaban？nandaozuoguiyaofugucainengguonaiheqiao？
“啊！鬼啊！”
moyunmeidejianjiaobasunanxidesixulalehuilai，takanxiangshuohuazhe，xiangkaikouquefaxiansangzitengdebuxing，genbenshuobule。
moyunmeibulicaidagemendeyanshenjinggao，wanghouyitiao，“wobuyaozheimechoudesansao！nipeibushangwosange！wobuchengrennishiwomenmojiadexifu！”
说完掉头就跑。
sunanximengle，xifu？tazenmejiuchenglebierendexifule？
nandaotaguimipatazaididixiataigudujimo，jitapeileminghun？
molaoerfufujianmolaotaikudeshangxin，jibianyoubuman，yebuganzaiduoshuoshenme，molaodafufuanfulelaoniangyoulaikuanweisunanxi。
“sandimei，yunmeinianjixiaobudongshi，nibiebatadehuafangxinshang，nijidaolewomenmojia，xiananxinzhuxia，buyaoxiangtaiduo。”
sunanxizhengzhazheyaozuoqilai，qianchedaoshenshangdeshang，tongdetazaicidiedaoxiaqu，huadanleyidi。
这不是地府！
tameiyousi，tachuanyuele！
zhishi，tachuanyuejiuchuanyueba，zenmechuanyuedaoleyigezhongshangderenshenshanga！
ganjuehunshendoutongdebuxing，shenshanggujimeiyouyikuaihaoroule！
tazheishizaoleshenmeniea！
shaoshaodongyixiadoutongdetaziyaliezuide，tagenbenjiumeiyouliqipaqilai！
lenghanyixiazijiushitouleyifu！
tianshade！sheiduiyuanzhuzheimehena，zheiwanquanjiushifeiyaozhitayusidibukedejiashi！
tafeijingdichoulechouziji，jianzhikeyiyongzangluanchalaixingrong！
惨不忍睹！
erqie，mingxiandenengganjuedao，tadelianzhongzhangdelihai！yanjingdoukuaizhengbukaile！
naoqiaoyetengdelihai，keshibingmeijieshoudaoshenmeyuanzhudejiyi，taduiyuanzhuyidiandoubulejie！
wanle！nalaidedoubuzhidao！
tinggangcaineixierendeduihua，tahaichenglebierendelaopole！
tadebianyilaogonghaishigebunengxingzoude！
老天爷玩她呢！
weishenmebierenchuanyue，bushigongzhu，haodaishigeshenmeqianjinxiaojie，tani，shenshouzhongshangjiusuanle，haibuzhizijidanalaide，turanjiuyoulelaogong！
sunanxixianglejieyixiaqingkuang，keshizuibayixiangchusheng，jiuganjueyouzhenshijingzhaneiban，zenmeyekaibulekou！tongdetayanleizhiliu！
完了！
还是个哑巴！
这处境如何破啊！