第1章 穿越成肥婆

“xiushuwomingrijiuzhaorenxie。ninazhexiushu,gun!”

mingbanxiahoubeipengdaoqiangshang,dunshihuolaladiteng。

miaode,zheigenanren,liqikezhenda!

tongshi,daliangdejiyiyongrunaohai,mingbanxialengzailedangchang。

tajingranchuanyuele?erqietianzhidaoyuanshenyouduochun!

mingmingshijingchengdajiazudedinv,quebeishumeisuoshi,bazijichichengleyigeliangbaijindefeipo,haixiangpataizidechuang,jieguotaizidechuangmeipashang,fanerbeisuanjipaletashenbianqinxinxiaosiyande,ranhoutaizidaotai,xiaosiyanbeiliufang,youbukenjitaxiushu,tazhinenggenzhelai。

weilenadaoxiushuzaodianhuijing,yuanshenzaizheibianhandeliaodongzhidisimingnaoteng,haiqiannudaoqinshengerzitoushang,ririnvedai,yizhiyusansuideerzidaoxianzaihaibuhuishuohua,danxiaosiyanchulemeicitanaodetaiguodeshihouyelimodaoheta,jiushisihuobujixiushu。

yuanshenbunenghuijinghaibeiweixie,yushiyibuzuoerbuxiu,xiangyaoqiasierzi,dusixiaosiyan,danganggangqiazhuerzi,jiubeixiaosiyanzhuangjian,nanrenbatawangpangbianyishuai,yuanshenjiuzheiyangguale。

ranhoumingbanxiajiubeipochuanyueguolai。

mingbanxiayukuwulei,tahaohaoyigeguojihuijishishiwusuolidegaojicaiwujingli,yankanzhejiuyaohunchenghehuoren,nianruqianwanzhirikedai,quebuxiangzaidujiadehaitanshangdalegeduner,xinglaijiuchuanyuechengjiakongchaodaidedaomeifeipo,mianduitazuochulaidezheiyidalantanzi。

xiaosiyanlandeduokantayiyan——ruguobushierzishebudeqinniang,ruguobushidanxinerzirihoudongshimaiyuanta,tahuiyizhirongrenta?

danshixianzaikanqilai,tadacuotecuo。

taganggangjinmen,fenmingkanjiantachadianqiasiyeer!zheiyangdenvrenliuzheyebuhuizhidaohuigai!

mingbanxiakanxiaosiyanyanshenjueran,baozheerzidabuwangwaizou,gubudeshenmexingxianghejinchi,doudongzheyishenfeirou,paoguoqujiubaozhutadeyao,kudebitiyibayanleiyiba:“xianggong,xianggongwocuole!wozhendezhicuole!niyuanliangwozheiyici。”

kaiwanxiao,qianshenlinbuqing,tanaoziqueqingxingzheni!

likaixiaosiyan,tazenmenenghuoxialai?

yuanshenzufushitaizidangdesiduitou,yaoshihaikenguanta,zenmekenengrangtabeirensuanjijiajixiaosiyan,ranhoubandaoletaizi,rangtagenzhebeiliufangdaoliaodongzheiniaobulashidedifang?

suiranxiaosiyanliufangqianbeifeileyoushou,dantachulaizhadao,xiangyaohuoxiaqu,bixubaojinzheitiaodatui。

xiaosiyanyanedikanzhezheituanguazaitashenshangdefeirou,youqikandaotabitiyanleidoucengdaozijishenshang,erzizaihuaizhongdouyaobeitajidao,bukeqidibokaita,lenglengdidao:“mingbanxia,niyouxiangshuashenmehuazhao!nibushiyizhixiangyaoxiushudema?”

mingbanxianengqunengshen,“xianggong,wocongqianshizhuyoumenglexincaixianglikainide。woyihoudoutingnidehua,nirangwozhanzhewojuebutangzhe,rangwoxiwanwojuebushuaguo,nijiuliuxiawohaobuhao?”

xiaosiyanmiansetieqing,muguangyoushen,jianmeijincu,xianranbingbuxiangxintadehua。

mingbanxiazhongyukanqingchuletademianrong,yekanqingchuletaejiaoyougeqingsedecizi“zui”。

neibingbuciyan,fanerrangtadeyinghanqizhigengtuxianchulai。

xiaoyekanzhemingbanxia,yaozhexiaozuichun,suiranhenhaipa,danshihaishishitanzheshenchushoulaititacalei。

明半夏哭得更凶了。

——zheimehaodehaizi,beinvedaichengzheiyanghaiguzheniang,yuanshenliangxinshibeigouchilema?

bu,tagenbenjiumeiyouliangxinjigouchi;ruguoyou,yeshigoudoubuchi。

xiaosiyankanzheerzidejudong,liansedunshiyouxiesongdong。

mingbanxiayanbabadikanzheta。

zheishihouwuwaiyoushengyinsiwujidandixiangqilai。

“feipozheishishouleshenmeciji?”

“sheizhidaoni!buzhidaoyoudashenmeguizhuyi,xiangyaopiantiejiangni!”

明半夏炸了!

谁他娘的这么贱哪!

pazairenjiamenkoutingqiangjiaohaizheimeduohua,xiaosiyanyaoshitingjian,bujiugengyaoxiuletalema?