第1章
“xiaoshimei！buyao！xiaoshimei——”
yebuguimengdizuoqi，chuanzhecuqi。
haimeiyazhujing，kanqingyanqianhuamian，youmengxiyikoureqi！
我去，什么鬼？
yigexiufapijiandemoshengnvren，zhengyongjidubiyiqiefennudemuguangdingzheta。
zhongdianshi，nvrenmeichuan！！
凹凸有致。
视觉冲击力满分！
zhei......zheiwanxiaokaidaleba？
“huanshu？zheishihuanshu？？”
yebuguiganjincongchuangshangtiaoxia，xiangbanfaquchuhuanshu。
shenweiqiankunmenshaomenzhu，mingmingzhengzaiheshifu、shimeilianshouyudi，dazhanmomen，zenmeyishuguanghoujingjinrurucibukanhuamian？
“bugui！jizhu！qushisujiezhaonishijie，yiqiguangfuqiankunmen！！”
shifuqixuedehuayu，yijiuzaiyebuguierbianhuidang。
“kuaixianyuanxing！woyaotupohuanshu！woyaojiuxiaoshimei！！”
yebuguipushangqu，fengkuangyaohuangnvziroujian。
zheitiwen，zenneimebizhen？
xiayike，nvrenluoleile，jinshibeishang。
“yebugui，nizhei**jiudasiwoba，wo......wozaibuyaohenizheizhong**guorizile！”
nvrenhanleiqiechi，henhenmazhe，quesesefadoubuganzuorenhefankang。
叶不归猛地一颤！
kandaonvzizheiyang，tafuzuiganjiqinonglie，turantouyunmuxuan。
pudaoweishengjiantuleyizhen，taitouyikanjingzi，youruzaodianji！
“wo......wo，wozenmebianzheidexingle？”
yebuguijingyamozhezijilianjia，toufaluanzao，xishuhuzha，lalilata，xuruotuobeiyimiqi，zhanzhiyimiba！
“daodifashengshenmeshi？？”
yebuguiyonglengshuipaizailianshang，binglengcigu，jianjianjifachuzheishentiyuanbendejiyi。
tongmingtongxingyebugui，shisujiebuxuewushufuerdai，kaozhesiqufuqinliuxiadechanye，zaiyichanghaoduzhongyinglechutianhe，qiangqulehuachengchujiadenvren。
hunhoushiduchengxing，jingchangshuqianzuijiu，jiabaolaopo，palaopohongxingchuqiang，zuijiushihaiyongdaozizailaopozuolianqiangxinghualeyizhiwugui。
yigemaomeiruhuadeqingchengmeinv，jiuzheiyangbeitahuile！
“wopei！chushenga！！”
yebuguiganjinjizijiyigeerguang，napazheixieshibushitazuode。
“suoyi，benshaomenzhushizaiqiankunmenjijiangzhansi，shifuyongqiankundafabazijihunpozhuandaozheichushengburude**shenshangle？！”
yebuguiyuexiang，yuebushiziwei。
congxiaoshifujiuzuiqizhongta，haixiangrangtaquxiaoshimeishenhuazhiweiqi，pianpiantabeiyigeyaonvmihuo，haiyaoqutahuiqiankunmen。
yaonvshexiexinchang，chuxinjilv，xiyanshangjifancaixiaduhou，lianheyiqunxiemochenjichongshangqiankunmen，yaojiangzheiliuchuanqianbainiandeguwumenpaitushadaijin......
“shifu，duibuqi！shiwohaileqiankunmen！”
“shimei，shishixionggufuleni！”
“jiranshangtianjiwozhonghuoyicidejihui，jiusuanshijiezhezheixuruodeshenti，woyeyidingyaobaochouxuehen！zhongzhenqiankunmen！zhaoguxiaoshimeiyishengyishi！mibushangyishideyihan！！”
yebuguixinxingjianding，yaoyafashi。
buguo，xianzaigaizenmeban？
zhongxinzouchufangjian，faxianchuqingwuyijiuguizaidishangbuganzhanqi，kanjiantajiuyaoyaqiechi，kegudehenxiezailianshang。
“haixiaoshimeibuyaobuyaoni？nizhei**，yiqianyiweinizhihaoduhexujiu，meixiangdaonihaihunneichuguile！wohenni！wohensinile！！”
chuqingwusuinuhuochongtian，quehaishibuganrenhefankang，bizheyansesefadou，xuebaizhiquhaiyouhenduoyushang、shangba。
kanlaishibeiyiqiandeyebuguinvecanle！
非礼勿视！
yebuguishenhuxiyikoupaokaixienian，ganjinquzhaotaoyifujirenjiachuanshang。
“nihaixiangzhaoqianma？jialiqiancaidoubeinibaiguangle！wodegongziyebeinizheisi**naquduguangle！！”
chuqingwuyiweitayouyaofanqian，dashengkusu，xiangzhebeidasijiusuanle。
naxiangdaoyebuguimeihuitou，jinghaidaoqian：“duibuqi，wobushizhaoqian......”
呃？！
chuqingwumengdiyizhan，yiweichuxianhuantingle！
ershisuijiubeipojiajizhei**，beijiabaowunian，conglaijiumeibeitadangrenduidaiguo，jintiantajingxiangzijidaoqian？？
“duibuqi，jialimeiyouyijianxiangyangyifule，nixianchuanshangzheijianba，gaimingerzaijinimaijitaoxinde！”
yebuguiniuzhetou，bugankanchuqingwudeshenti，youxiangtadaoqian。
yilaibushizijilaopo，erlaitazheiweijingrenshidenanrenpalaiganjue，zeitaigangale！
buguojiranzhanjulezhei**deshenti，zongyouyiwuzhaoguhaotanvrenba？
chuqingwuyizhihuaiyizijishibushitingcuole，genbenhuibuguoshenlai。
yebuguijitapishangyifu，youwenroujiangtabaoshangchuang：“haole，jinwannishuichuang，woshuidiban！”
“什么？！”
chuqingwubingmeishouchongruojing，fandaoshihaipadeganjintiaoqilai，huangzhangsiguhou，congchoutinachuyibajiandao，duizhunzijiyanhou！
什么鬼？！
叶不归当场吓坏了！